[Iceinthewater]

(11-21-2011 01:26 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

The past few months I've been out on quite a few dates. I generally chat, then get personal by asking boulder questions and making bolder statements, introduce a comfort building routine, and then I pull her in for the kiss which I've been lucky enough to get on about 90% of dates I actually go on...

To my enormous chagrin, while this used to be enough for the 6's and 7's I have been going after until now, it no longer is for the 8's and up.

After a successful 1st date, often at a bar, I decide to end the date on a high note. I then get a "That was really fun" or "I want to see you again". For the 6's and 7's, a few days later I give her a ring and invite her over for dinner, where I get the bang.

But with the 8's, I never hear from them again - I give her a ring, send a text if she doesn't answer (usually: "'sup? Give me a ring"), and then... nothing.

EVEN after rather successful 1st dates with plenty of comfort and rapport. Has ANYONE tried anything similar?? It's starting to get quite frustrating. What is it that allows me to kiss her on the first date and get compliments but fails to lead to a second date????? Should I have pushed harder for a bang on the 1st date inspite of bad logistics? Or does she decide I'm too alpha or too beta (what girl dumps a guy for being too alpha??? I reason that's stupid, so it must be beta - but then why did the first date go well?)..

Thanks in advance.

Key word: routine. There's a lack of authenticity. You're amusing in the moment, but when she goes home, she doesn't feel connected to you anymore.

I can tell that you lack that X Factor that is the common trait with guys who are good with women - it's a deep authenticity that women can feel but aren't always consciously aware of. I've made a science of this xfactor and after several years of thinking about it, my opinion hasn't changed.

Try cutting your routine stuff and just improvise for awhile. Focus on actually learning about her, not about YOUR routine.

Also, try getting a girl alone before going for the kiss, and then escalating to sex. Girls give guys goodnight kisses all the time. A kiss isn't shit. If you're on your couch and you start kissing a girl, the next step is your dick comes out.

That's what I do anyway. Girls like it.