[Hazaer]

(01-13-2016 09:06 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

(01-13-2016 08:20 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

(01-13-2016 01:32 AM)cascadecombo Wrote:  

^ Going off what the last few posts were saying about being too compliant has made me notice some things I had never paid mind to before.

I usually don't mind helping anyone out if they ask for help. But I have almost always given them shit about it. The times I haven't, with the one asking being female it was almost as if they expected to be assisted. However, when I would playfully give them shit about what I was doing they would make an effort to express their gratitude etc etc.

How much you value your time will be obvious to others. Even though helping others is no skin off our noses, if we spend an extra second making a point about how we are giving them our precious time they are far more receptive to it. As if we are doing them a favor and they recognize it vs being their momentary slave.

I do the same thing - rarely say no, but always give some kind of shit for it. It's kind of like a pre-passing a shit test - you're not looking butthurt by refusing, but you're making your boundaries clear.

Exactly. If what OP did had any bearing on whether she lost interest in him it was because he happily obliged to her request without question. I don't think the correct answer would have been to flat out refuse helping her but in my opinion the best response would be something like a shit test back to her.

Her: "Can you grab this box of CDs and put it in the trunk for me? It's really heavy."

Ways he could have replied to that (all said with a playful smirk)
"I see you just want me for my brute strength"
"Please, I'm not that easy. You can do better than that"
"Aren't you going to buy me dinner first?"
"Pfft, I don't work for free"

You get the idea. When these kinds of dilemmas arise I ask myself "what would Hank Moody do?" That's the character Hank from TV and not our own Hank but for the record I like his stories too

So one says this and then proceeds to carry her stuff?

What if she replies with 'Nevermind, I will do it myself.'?