Hank, I have read all your previous installments on your Oneitis story, and understand your pain.
It is a very classic "femme fatale" story that has played out in human history ever since the beginning of time, always following the same storyline.
It is a reversal of script.
She is the alpha, albeit in the appearance of a womanly man-with-tits, and you are the infatuated man-bitch chasing the alpha for commitment, love, and the full long list. She treats you mean, keeps you keen.
You are a prisoner in her web. Your happiness depends on her. The restoration and healing of your challenged ego depends on her approval. She is your dealer, you are the junkie. There is a chance that for the rest of your life you will think of her, and never get a higher high than what she gave you, and always wonder if you could have made it work somehow.
You did not fall into the trap by chance. It was her design. "Be like water" - she played it to perfection. It was a manufactured, artificial image that she created just for you. An illusion to fall for and fall into. The soulmate. The other half. The one who completes you. It was a game of power, where she won, and then feasted on your soul.
Most of us have been there, and even though rationally it is a situation that a smart man understands, you will emotionally never really pull out.
Pair bonding is the force to blame. For whatever reason, it will strike without warning, and there will be no escape. It is a natural force just like gravity. And just as for gravity, I do not buy the narratives of some men claiming natural of learned immunity to pair bonding. It is gonna hit you, and will impact you, some of us more, some less. But in any case you need to ride it out, and that is where some "techniques" such as no contact, fucking a dozen other chicks, etc come into play, and may help. May. Different courses for different horses, but one thing I noticed universally is that denial of your addiction is the biggie that blocks the 5 stages of the grieving process playing out, and your eventual escape.
I still recall reading your post from the day you found out that your femme fatale is engaged and pregnant, and even though it had been years, I could sense your still present trauma.
Napoleon, who at that time was the most powerful man on Mother Earth, had a Oneitis for Josephine, and he never ever really got over his femme fatale, even after re-marrying. He wrote her hundreds of letters expressing his extreme love for her. Bitch in the meanwhile was getting nailed by some officer back in Paris.![[Image: kermit.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/kermit.gif)
She brought her lover along even when she went to visit him in the battlefields of Northern Italy. The most powerful man on Earth, who was strong enough to bayonet hundreds of enemy soldiers in Jaffa to save bullets![[Image: bash.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/bash.gif)
, was not strong enough to fight and kill the pair bonding force weighing on him ![[Image: 69.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/69.gif)
. So there is no shame on any of us stuggling with this force of nature. Josephine was not even pretty, and she was post-wall (30+)...
"BPD" is just modern bullshit terminology. I do not believe that it is anything such as a real disease or a broken leg, as portrayed by modern clinical medicine. Rather, is just means here is woman who is extremely good in the fields of cunning, manipulation and seduction. A very formidable opponent in the game of life. One who is still under your skin.
It is a very classic "femme fatale" story that has played out in human history ever since the beginning of time, always following the same storyline.
It is a reversal of script.
She is the alpha, albeit in the appearance of a womanly man-with-tits, and you are the infatuated man-bitch chasing the alpha for commitment, love, and the full long list. She treats you mean, keeps you keen.
You are a prisoner in her web. Your happiness depends on her. The restoration and healing of your challenged ego depends on her approval. She is your dealer, you are the junkie. There is a chance that for the rest of your life you will think of her, and never get a higher high than what she gave you, and always wonder if you could have made it work somehow.
You did not fall into the trap by chance. It was her design. "Be like water" - she played it to perfection. It was a manufactured, artificial image that she created just for you. An illusion to fall for and fall into. The soulmate. The other half. The one who completes you. It was a game of power, where she won, and then feasted on your soul.
Most of us have been there, and even though rationally it is a situation that a smart man understands, you will emotionally never really pull out.
Pair bonding is the force to blame. For whatever reason, it will strike without warning, and there will be no escape. It is a natural force just like gravity. And just as for gravity, I do not buy the narratives of some men claiming natural of learned immunity to pair bonding. It is gonna hit you, and will impact you, some of us more, some less. But in any case you need to ride it out, and that is where some "techniques" such as no contact, fucking a dozen other chicks, etc come into play, and may help. May. Different courses for different horses, but one thing I noticed universally is that denial of your addiction is the biggie that blocks the 5 stages of the grieving process playing out, and your eventual escape.
I still recall reading your post from the day you found out that your femme fatale is engaged and pregnant, and even though it had been years, I could sense your still present trauma.
Napoleon, who at that time was the most powerful man on Mother Earth, had a Oneitis for Josephine, and he never ever really got over his femme fatale, even after re-marrying. He wrote her hundreds of letters expressing his extreme love for her. Bitch in the meanwhile was getting nailed by some officer back in Paris.
She brought her lover along even when she went to visit him in the battlefields of Northern Italy. The most powerful man on Earth, who was strong enough to bayonet hundreds of enemy soldiers in Jaffa to save bullets
, was not strong enough to fight and kill the pair bonding force weighing on him . So there is no shame on any of us stuggling with this force of nature. Josephine was not even pretty, and she was post-wall (30+)..."BPD" is just modern bullshit terminology. I do not believe that it is anything such as a real disease or a broken leg, as portrayed by modern clinical medicine. Rather, is just means here is woman who is extremely good in the fields of cunning, manipulation and seduction. A very formidable opponent in the game of life. One who is still under your skin.
“A deception that elevates us is dearer than a host of low truths.”