First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Printable Version

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Gorgiass - 10-25-2016

Less quick calories and more filling fiber for breakfast to reach your weight goals. I'm in your area for a few more weeks, happy to meet up and give you fitness or game pointers.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - RexImperator - 10-25-2016

How about Boston baked beans? I feel that oatmeal doesn't sit well with me. For some reason it makes me tired or sleepy.

http://greatist.com/health/surprising-high-fiber-foods

Raspberries and blackberries are on the list.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - GlobalMan - 10-25-2016

Rex, what about the drought and starting to go out and meet more girls?

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - redbeard - 10-25-2016

Hey guys, I haven't gotten laid in 12 years.

Is it okay if I eat baked beans?

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - RexImperator - 10-25-2016



Not to get technical but that date 12 years ago didn't end in a bang...it's actually much longer.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Lagavulin - 10-26-2016

Some fair comments there, sorting your diet out isn't going to get you laid anytime soon, however it is a positive lifestyle change that can be implemented straight away.

Set up an online dating profile. As you're a bit older I would consider using a paid site like match.com as well as a couple of free sites like POF to increase your options and maximise your chances. I'm sure forum members in your area can advise. There was a thread a few months ago where somebody was offering free gold memberships for reviewing his tinder profile - if memory serves, see if someone is willing to review your profile.

Make your social life a priority, expand your social circle. Join meetup.com. Look for groups that appear to have a good ratio of women to men and start taking part in activities that you enjoy and which will lead to meeting women under the pretext of something else. There are plenty of options, don't limit yourself.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Giovonny - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-25-2016 05:07 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I just talk to girls in my daily interactions and try to see if the conversation goes anywhere.

This generates about 1-2 possible dates per year.

We will get this number up!

Quote: (10-25-2016 05:07 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I realized how I am a magnet for low-quality, and always have been.

Maybe you haven't been an alpha sex god throughout your life.. Fuck it! That is in the past and you have to leave it there as you imagine a new attitude and new lifestyle for yourself..

Maybe you were not "cool" in school and maybe you didn't fuck cheerleaders in college?

Fuck it!

Grow into a new man! It takes work and WE ALL NEED HELP!

But, back to fucking cheerleaders...

Do you know that you can be fucking cheerleaders within 24 hours???

I mean, you can visit a legal brother within 24 hours..

You need sex.

Go get it!

Take a vacation where you can do this..

That might be the important thing right now..

You need female sensual support.

I recommended the same thing to greenman and it worked!

--

Doc holliday understands what I'm saying:

Quote: (10-25-2016 02:16 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  

I agree wholeheartedly with this. There's a time in a guy's life where he just wants, no wait, needs to get laid without all the hassle. Guys who are coming out of a divorce, guys who are working like mad, focusing on their careers and hell sometimes just because you want to fuck a 9. Rex, you're a few hours away from Montreal. Go there for a few days and go crazy. Fuck as many chicks as you can during that time. Who cares. It's legal, way cheaper (plus you have the favorable exchange rate) and those women are stupidly hot and YOUNG. These chicks love doing menage a trois, menage a quatre, bdsm whatever fucked up shit you want to do. Plus you can still go out and try to pick up chicks the old fashioned way but with way less thirst. Like Giovonny said, all in the pursuit of a better life.

--

Then, come back ready to start a new life with a new mission, new mentors, new strategies, new methods, etc.

Lets look at some dating stuff..

Quote: (10-25-2016 05:30 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I've regrettably passed on better-looking opportunities in the last couple of years by not acting fast enough

So, you have had opportunities!

I feel like you have a good social sense and you will be good with women.

Quote: (10-25-2016 09:54 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

fat feminist may still be a possibility.

You already said that you're not attracted to her..

But..

This is interesting..

Quote: (10-25-2016 09:54 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

(I was thinking of telling her we could be "activity partners" but I'm not looking for more.)

Good idea!

The truth can be simple and refreshing.

Try it! Why not?

She obviously is interested in you.

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Okay, some quick food stuff..

Quote: (10-25-2016 09:54 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Boston baked beans?

If you make them fresh, YES!

Out of a can? no!

They are really easy to make at home:



Ingredients:

2 cups dried small, white beans (navy beans), picked over and rinsed, soaked overnight and drained
4 cups water
2 bay leaves
3/4 teaspoon salt, divided
1 yellow onion, chopped
1/2 cup light molasses
1 1/2 tablespoons dry mustard
3 strips thick-cut bacon, cut into 1/2-inch pieces

Put this over some brown rice or mashed cauliflower or quinoa.

You could never get fat eating like that.

Quote: (10-25-2016 09:54 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

oatmeal

Breakfast is actually not a major weakness in your diet.

I think I want to focus on reducing the cheap, processed meats, the sugar, the fast food, and some of the dairy.. That would be a great start.

Quote: (10-25-2016 09:54 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Raspberries and blackberries

You can eat all the fresh fruits and vegetables that you want!

I encourage you to fall in love with your favorite fruits and veggies.

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Now, a philosophical question about your priorities..

Quote: (10-25-2016 12:56 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I just did 405x1 for a back squat, a personal best.

What is more important to you?

Being strong or improving your love life?

I'm half-joking and half-serious.. I just want to pose that question to your mind.

*****

And, now, the most important question of them all!!

Quote: (10-25-2016 09:31 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

Lets say the 15 pounds are gone tomorrow- then what happens?

15 pounds will be gone in 4-6 weeks..

Then, and even before then.. we will trouble shoot and reformulate his day to day sexual strategy..

Where he sees girls.. How can he see more girls.. His online profiles.. Night options.. location issues.. Travel.. Etc.

I know that if we work together we will find more effective strategies.. I know it might not be easy but it will be worth it.. I've seen guys on this forum do it! Change their life over the course of a few years with a lot of hard work, passion, and dedication..

What did that guy Zyzz say.. ?

"Don't be a sad cunt"

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Quote: (10-25-2016 04:41 PM)XXL Wrote:  

I knew that a question about a date next day would result in "get in shape" advice

This thread started off as being about a "date"..

But, quickly, this thread became about the famous Thoreau quote..

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and die with their song still inside them”

I don't want RexImperator to die with his song still inside him!

I want him to unleash his song onto the world!

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - H1N1 - 10-26-2016

I've had a chance now to catch up with the thread.

Rex - Gio's advice is very good. What he is suggesting is how I eat every day, and I more or less eat as much as I want without worrying too much (not entirely true as I am a natural glutton, but I don't suffer from this degree of moderation, and am rarely hungry).

Here are my thoughts. I'm going to include a few days typical eating for me, and make some suggestions on where you could add a few extra calories in if you wanted to.

The first thing I want to address: Mentality when dieting.

- Once you make the commitment to diet, accept that you're going to be frequently hungry for a couple of months, and resolve that you're just going to deal with it.

- Don't torture yourself, eat tasty and filling meals. Primarily though, you are looking to drop weight by reducing portion size and making sound food choices - this is the most effective way to drop weight.

- My view is that there's no need to cheat on a diet - simply eat like a grown up almost all the time, and then don't sweat the odd deviation. Don't compound any deviations though by turning a dirty meal into a dirty 3-day binge - this is how you undo weeks' worth of hard work.

- You are a big, strong guy, and you have been for a long time. Do not be distracted by the 'any less than 1g/lb protein per day and all your gains will magically disappear' nonsense. What you have earned will mostly stay, so long as you are not in a state of too severe deprivation. As you'll see below, I only get a pretty moderate amount of protein, and maintain a fairly decent physique. With a few tweaks, you could eat more or less what, and as much as, I eat and maintain the majority of your muscle.

- Initially, focus on making better food choices. Don't count calories. Just eat a portion of meat/animal protein with each meal, that you have cooked from raw yourself, with no shop-bought marinade, and some vegetables. That alone will probably help you drop 20lbs+.

- I don't know if you drink, but cutting it where possible will make a big difference. I hardly drink at all - often I go months without having more than 1 or 2 drinks total - and it's a major factor in how I look.

- Changing your diet is something you should treat as a lifestyle change, rather than a fad to be followed by a while. In no time you will find that the thought of going back to your previous ways of eating fills you with horror. I will occasionally demolish a 2000 calorie+ pizza, and relish every second of it - but when I am done I am bloody glad I don't have to eat like that every day. You may be surprised just how much energy you have, and how good you feel, when you commit to eating fresh, home-cooked produce.


H1N1 sample eating

Day 1:

Breakfast: 2 large eggs, poached, on 1 slice of wholegrain bread with lashings of butter. Everyone should try to eat eggs from a farm shop if they can, the difference in taste is staggering from shop bought ones. 1 apple.

Lunch: 250g 10% fat beef mince, cheddar cheese grated on top, 1 large bowl of vegetable soup made with home made chicken stock, 1 apple.

Supper: 3x chicken thighs cooked in olive oil, with capers, sundried tomatoes, fresh tomatoes, olives, herbs, 100g pasta

Day 2:

Breakfast: 2 large eggs scrambled on 1 slice of wholegrain bread with plenty of butter. 1 apple

Lunch: 4 kippers, half a ball of mozzarella, 2 large tomatoes, half a cucumber, dressed with basil, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, mustard, honey salt and pepper. An apple.

Supper: 8oz Salmon steak baked in soy sauce, mirin, chilli, lime zest, and ginger, 100g egg noodles, pak choi fried with a little garlic.


Notes:

- you could add your yogurt in for breakfast. You could add an egg or two if you liked too, and lose weight initially, but it's probably not necessary. I'd ditch the muffin and jam - that's a waste of calories and is just making you fat.

- I eat a lot of fish, you don't need to (though it is great for you). Eat 3x per day, and base each meal around a decent helping of animal protein.

- I personally try to avoid eating large amounts of carbs with every meal, as I prefer to eat more fats (hence what I notice is an olive oil laden diet). I think going high fat and high carb is a pretty good way to get fat. I'd suggest you skip carbs altogether one meal, and keep them moderate the rest of the day.

- If you're aghast at the lack of protein, then you can obviously throw in some shakes (in water ideally).

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - eradicator - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-25-2016 12:56 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I agree with much of what you said, but not this:

Quote:Quote:

Lots of prepackaged food filled with artificial colors, flavors, preservatives

I cook my own meals, especially dinners, except for Mondays and Wednesdays when I'm travelling.

Overall this thread has me pumped, though. I just did 405x1 for a back squat, a personal best.

I don't understand what you are up to here. Why do a 405x1 squat? If you are 20 years old and trying to bulk up as part of a team sport, then sure. Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense to go heavy.

Sure, do squats, but with light weights, go for form. Really that is true for all of your weight exercises. You can still have good muscles and just be really toned by lifting light weights and high reps.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - redbeard - 10-26-2016

Here's what your cutting workout plan should be:

Day Game Approaches - 10 sets of 1
Night Game Approaches - 5 sets of 5
Online Game - AMRAP
Fucking - 20 minutes at night, 10 minutes fasted cardio first thing in the morning

Hope this helps

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Chowder Head - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-26-2016 03:24 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

Quote: (10-25-2016 12:56 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I agree with much of what you said, but not this:

Quote:Quote:

Lots of prepackaged food filled with artificial colors, flavors, preservatives

I cook my own meals, especially dinners, except for Mondays and Wednesdays when I'm travelling.

Overall this thread has me pumped, though. I just did 405x1 for a back squat, a personal best.

I don't understand what you are up to here. Why do a 405x1 squat? If you are 20 years old and trying to bulk up as part of a team sport, then sure. Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense to go heavy.

Sure, do squats, but with light weights, go for form. Really that is true for all of your weight exercises. You can still have good muscles and just be really toned by lifting light weights and high reps.

I agree especially if you are near or older than 40. That shit can hurt your knees.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - RexImperator - 10-26-2016

Quote:Quote:

I don't understand what you are up to here. Why do a 405x1 squat?

Its been a longtime goal and I wanted to test myself. Just because a rep calculator says you can do 415 doesn't mean you can. Also, that gives me the mental freedom to go a little easier for a bit. Shift my focus from strength to weight loss.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - kaotic - 10-26-2016

Gio's recommendations are outright fucking amazing on here.

His positive energy fucking oozes out of his writings.

Of all the advice given take his ! He's always got a great state of mind we should all strive for.

YES workout, YES eat right, BUT get your mind right first.

We can break it down like this:

Inner game (self confidence, you're the shit !)
Outer game (running game on bitches)
Dieting (a body is made in the kitchen 80%)
Gym (but helped with lifting shit 20%)

I'm glad there's a ton of experienced brothers on here helping you out, this is exactly what the forum is for and about - SELF IMPROVEMENT !

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - WestIndianArchie - 10-26-2016

Ain't been on a date IN 12 YEARS and you guys want to give him tips on squats? Tell him to eat brown rice and boneless skinless chicken breasts.

This is a new low.

Shout to everyone trying to give him dating advice though

WIA

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Lagavulin - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-26-2016 11:19 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

Gio's recommendations are outright fucking amazing on here.

His positive energy fucking oozes out of his writings.

Of all the advice given take his ! He's always got a great state of mind we should all strive for.

YES workout, YES eat right, BUT get your mind right first.

We can break it down like this:

Inner game (self confidence, you're the shit !)
Outer game (running game on bitches)
Dieting (a body is made in the kitchen 80%)
Gym (but helped with lifting shit 20%)

I'm glad there's a ton of experienced brothers on here helping you out, this is exactly what the forum is for and about - SELF IMPROVEMENT !

I like this breakdown. Lifting and style are commonly recommended as the first improvements a guy can make because they are easy to implement and you can see quick results.

However inner and outer game as specified above are a lot more difficult to improve for a lot of guys, especially if they are beginning from further down the ladder in terms of self esteem, self belief or social standing.

It's easy to delude yourself that you are making big changes when in truth you are skirting around the areas that matter the most.

I think with more experienced members chipping in on this thread with their own thoughts on improving these areas lots of guys will be able to take something from it, myself included.

I also think that with good style, a good physique, an online profile and basic game it's quite easy for most guys (myself included) to muddle along. This combined with a full time job and a busy life makes it easy to neglect developing your inner and outer game, however taking short cuts makes it impossible to make that leap to the next level, which should be the aim.

I just started looking at the players lounge as a couple of previous posts have recommended, there are some great nuggets on the 351st page alone. I'm going to attempt to read the whole thread and take notes, I may be some time!

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Lagavulin - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-26-2016 12:11 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Ain't been on a date IN 12 YEARS and you guys want to give him tips on squats? Tell him to eat brown rice and boneless skinless chicken breasts.

This is a new low.

Shout to everyone trying to give him dating advice though

WIA

Agree to a point. However some guys will chip in where they feel they are qualified to do so and leave the dating advice to the seasoned players.

Rex's problems aren't going to be fixed overnight, he's not going to start making real progress until he sets up an online profile, texts some girls, arranges some dates, and gets in a few approaches - then posts his interactions on here for some honest feedback.

It's early days, lets see the lie of the land after a couple of weeks. In the meantime feel free to dispense with the wisdom.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Giovonny - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-25-2016 10:50 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

that date 12 years ago didn't end in a bang...it's actually much longer.

Wait...

Are you saying that you have NOT had sex in over 12 years?

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Chowder Head - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-26-2016 12:11 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Ain't been on a date IN 12 YEARS and you guys want to give him tips on squats? Tell him to eat brown rice and boneless skinless chicken breasts.

This is a new low.

Shout to everyone trying to give him dating advice though

WIA

I mentioned this earlier... Rex's problem isn't diet -- he needs to approach and try to make moves. I think Gio has said if he approaches 100 women -- he'll fuck at least one of them. But I do think getting in better shape will help his inner game -- it helped me quite a bit. I went through a long drought 1 year ago -- I'm rooting for you Rex.

WIA, Whats your advice?

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - subterfuge - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-26-2016 01:27 PM)Chowder Head Wrote:  

I think Gio has said if he approaches 100 women -- he'll fuck at least one of them.

As much as i'm rooting for the OP (as I know exactly how he's feeling, albeit slightly different circumstances) I don't think it's as easy as that! (based on my own numbers!)

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - WestIndianArchie - 10-26-2016

What has been going on for 12 years? is my advice

Marriage
Incarceration
Exile
He just got out of a coma

This isn't get yourself a tinder account and start swiping type of issue.

He ain't been next to a chick since Bush was in office.

WIA

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - Giovonny - 10-26-2016

Quote: (10-25-2016 02:19 PM)Lagavulin Wrote:  

My regular shopping list

Your shopping list is beautiful..

You inspired me to post mine:

Oatmeal (breakfast almost everyday in fall/winter)
Berries (breakfast, afternoon snack, night time sweet)
Fruit (snack, after lunch and dinner)

Eggs (brunch, lunch, or dinner. Perfect protein)
Avocados (anytime of day)
Turkey bacon (I love it)

whole grain bread (not the cheap white bread shit)
Corn tortillas (I like them with eggs and avocado)

Brown rice (anytime of day or night)

Yams/sweet potatoes

Tomatoes
Onion
Jalapenos
Cilantro (I make salsa)

Garlic
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Green beans
Spinach (I pan fry veggies and add them to my brown rice)

Tofu (sauteed and added to brown rice)

Protein power (1 or 2 shakes a day)

Carrots
Apples
Celery (I make juice)

Nut Butter (snack, shakes)

Chicken, Fish, Lamb, Goat, Beef (I love it all in moderation)

--

Just a quick look at my typical shopping list.

Quote: (10-26-2016 02:38 AM)H1N1 Wrote:  

H1N1 sample eating

This was another fantastic post that detailed the finer points of how to eat for energy, vitality, power, and passion!

Inspired your example, here is a sample of mine.. (just to inspire others)

Breakfast

Oatmeal with fruit and honey
Protein shake with peanut butter, banana, flaxseed

Brunch

Eggs
Avocado
Corn tortilla
Salsa
Fruit

Lunch

Rice/Beans
Avocado
Yam

Dinner

Meat
Veggies

Dessert

Fruit
protein shake

Just a simple example.

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Quote: (10-26-2016 12:11 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Ain't been on a date IN 12 YEARS and you guys want to give him tips on squats? Tell him to eat brown rice and boneless skinless chicken breasts.

This is a new low.

WIA

It's all connected...

Attitude, lifestyle, diet, health, self image, confidence, social life, intimacy, self-actualization, sex, happiness..

You know that..

This started off being about a date..

Now, its about a battle for his life!

HELP HIM!

OFFER HIM SOME ADVICE!

What do you think he can do to improve his dating?

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Quote: (10-26-2016 01:27 PM)Chowder Head Wrote:  

I think Gio has said if he approaches 100 women -- he'll fuck at least one of them.

True.

But, it took a lot of hard work and trial and error for me to get to that point.

Quote: (10-26-2016 01:39 PM)subterfuge Wrote:  

I don't think it's as easy as that!

Correct. It is NOT as easy as that..

Years back, I might have to approach 200 women to get a bang (they were all much younger than me)

The main point is the RexImperator needs to start interacting with women on a more regular basis..

We will find ways for him to do that.

--

RexImperator,

How many girls do you interact with on a daily basis?

What size city do you live in?

How many attractive girls do you see everyday?

What can you do to increase your dating prospects?

Do you have friends that can help?

What is your preferred method of meeting girls?

What are some simple steps that you can take to improve your dating?

would you be interested in speaking with me over a VIDEO CALL so I can see what you look like and how you present yourself?

These are the kinds of questions that we eventually want to start focusing on.. Start to think about these questions..

Seek solutions. Get Help!

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - philosophical_recovery - 10-26-2016

Way to easily meet girls without having to become an approach monster:

Find a popular dance scene (salsa, ballroom, etc) and start taking weekly lessons NOW.

You'll have to communicate, touch and get used to being in control. Ratios are almost always more girls than men. Approaching and asking for a dance is 10x easier than cold approaches elsewhere.

It's a step in breaking down some social barriers that have undoubtedly developed over 12 years.

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - WestIndianArchie - 10-26-2016

I try to refrain from going off half cocked with the game advice until I know where a guy is coming from.

He could be a widower
He could be 72
He might be in a wheel chair
He could be a troll
He might be homeless with access to RVF via the library
He could me suffering from PTSD

But 12 years is a significant chunk of his life. I could throw 4 terabytes of game at him and still not hit on the real issue.

Because you guys won't address the elephant in the room, I now have to.

A shopping list is of little use to a refugee.

WIA

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - GlobalMan - 10-26-2016

I think it's important to mention, for those who might be confused at the tone of some of the responses, that Rex has been given some great advice and genuine offers of help on and off the forum, through numerous threads, on this issue of his- for at least a few years now. People can tire when they feel what they've said and offered never gets through, and the guy just repeats his behavior and continues doing what's making him unhappy.


Women are not attracted and I don't know why

Quote: (04-22-2016 07:31 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

1. Who are you?

-Attractiveness
-Style
-Swagger
-Location
-Bankroll
-Physique
-Age

2.What's your game?

-Night/day
-Venue
-Direct/indirect
-Solo/wingman
-Approach technique
-What point does the approach stall
-How many approaches do you have (have you logged them?)

Quote: (04-22-2016 11:19 PM)Advent Persona Wrote:  

I may be wrong, but it sounds like you're not a very social person to begin with. Stop opening girls and start by chatting up everyone. That way, you'll get a broader feedback as to the type of vibe you give off.

Don't go out to game girls specifically. Just be social until you develop the affinity for identifying successful patterns in social interaction. Work on other aspects of your life that will contribute to attraction (making money, cooking, lifting etc.) You'll have to put in solid work long before you start getting positive results. Top shelf pussy is just one of the benefits of months and years of personal self development. Women don't want a man who's on his way up, they want one who's already there.

...THEN, you begin applying the core game concepts laid out on the forums and elsewhere.

Quote: (04-23-2016 04:13 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

Quote: (04-22-2016 06:00 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I can't figure this "game" stuff out to be honest.

Don't think of it as complicated steps.

Confidence + maximizing appearance + ability to socialize/chat up strangers

If you can improve those, your results will improve.

If you focus on creating a life you enjoy for yourself, without needing others to make you happy, while working on improving those areas, it will be almost a certainty that you'll do better with girls.

Quote: (04-24-2016 10:01 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Reading the threads you've started over the years, it looks like
- you don't know what game is
- you don't now what you're doing
- whatever you're doing, you're half-assing

The central understanding of game is simple

If I change my behavior with women, my success with women changes.

That's it.

Your looks, clothes, your muscles, your bank roll, your living situation, your social circle - none of that shit matters. Those things helps the man with the right behavior, and hurt the man that does not have it.

Only your behavior matters.

WIA

Quote: (04-24-2016 11:13 PM)Comte De St. Germain Wrote:  

Rex way back when we PM'd back and forth. Sadly my old PMs are gone as they had were deleted when Roosh purged everyone's PMs, but from what I do remember you're definitely an optimistic guy with a lot of potential.

As many can tell you I'm not(by far) the most buff guy at the party nor the best looking nor with the best moves(conversationally or on the dancefloor), but I'm just there to have a good time. With that comes rejection. Wear it like a badge of honor.

You were a sexless "beta" at some point in your life? You were rejected before right? All that means is that it can only go up from there. Shit just the other day I was repetitively cursing in my car driving alone for hours stuck with my thoughts and remembering old mistakes.

Once I had a few drinks and had interactions going later that night with other people I was in a great fucking mood. I actually got blown out this entire weekend travelling/partying in different cities by every set , but it was fun just flirting and getting turned down(one duo just completely turned their heads and ignored me after 5 seconds of conversation).

Don't make your nights about the women make it about the fun even if it's just you. Just go up there and open that bachelorette party of 5 girls even if you know you won't be leaving with one of them(when I came back to pick up my bro after dinner yesterday he did just that with a group of 3 girls that actually invited him out right after). Life's a series of different interesting events man just keep at it and enjoy those small details.

Or, Rex could have also followed through with Lizards advice and take on Rex's posts- that maybe he just isn't truly interested enough in this "problem" of not having girls, and should focus on other areas of life which make him happy:

Quote: (04-24-2016 02:49 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

RI,

I have some advice that you may find surprising, and that may seem to contradict much of what you read on the forum or elsewhere in the 'sphere. Nevertheless, I think it's what is best for you.

Forget about "game"; forget about weekend bar approaches; forget about trying to change your behavior with women in any particular way.

You need to deeply relax in your life. You have no success with women and no natural way with them. But you don't strike me as a particularly unhappy guy. You said pointedly in a different thread that you are not "depressed", and I believe you. You have a lively mind and many different interests that you can enjoy.

You need to let go of the idea that success with women -- as you define it -- is the only or main source of interest and satisfaction. In truth, there are many men who have success with women as you would see it -- meaning, they are able to get them into bed one way or another -- who derive relatively little satisfaction from that part of their lives, whether physical or emotional, beyond the merest satisfaction of checking off a mark that they feel is required to be complete as a man.

I feel that many of your "approaches" have that slightly formal quality -- it's as if you're trying to "succeed" with a woman just so you can satisfy some formal requirement which really only exists in your mind. I could be wrong, but I don't believe that you are especially starved for female affection, nor overcome with lust and desire. Even a 4 or a 5 at a bar does not want to merely be the provider of someone's abstract validation or the fulfiller of a tic of sorts. Women smell that off of you, they know that you neither especially desire them nor especially need them, whether you yourself know it or not.

You should let go of this and just relax into your life. Like I said, I think you're doing fine, maybe better than you know. You can enjoy your work, your reading, your lifts, and so many other things; you can still enjoy them even if you weekend approaches are for naught -- indeed, even if they never happen at all. You should also realize that while you are no longer very young, there is no particular rush, and a man's mature prime goes on for a very long time, some decades. There is no pressure of any kind.

If you want to do something that, over time, will give you a better chance of meeting a woman that you can have some relationship with, do this: to the extent that you want to and feel like it, become more social; develop -- again, slowly and organically -- a social circle that allows you to meet people that are close to you in interests, personality, and disposition. This could be in your work, some hobby, some organization that you feel drawn to, or whatever.

Don't do this particularly to meet a woman -- do this because it would be an enjoyable addition to your life and a way to extend and enlarge it. But over time, and if you do this in a relaxed and unpressured way, this may well result in your meeting a woman who sees you as you are when you are not subject to the pressure to "approach"; and it is not impossible that this may lead to something. But again, don't do it for that reason, realize that it is not the only or even primary desirable outcome of any such social activity.

Other than that, just completely let go of the pressure to master "game", to score some "notches", to break a long "dry spell", etc. Realize that your life is pretty good as it is, and that you're wasting time by making yourself feel a dissatisfaction that is not really necessary. Why waste another day when you can just enjoy it instead?

Again, this is not what most other guys here would tell you. But these things have to be treated on a case by case basis, and from reading your posts and taking a general temperature, it's what I feel to be best in your case. Try it and see where you are in a year -- if indeed, you still have time to post here between all the other things you're doing with that girlfriend you met at that social activity.

Where did that thread end? Talking about workout logs too.



Abstinence from Sexual Intercourse

Quote: (07-22-2016 06:07 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Surprised we haven't really discussed this topic. Do you think abstaining from sex is healthy or unhealthy for a man?

If you think it is unhealthy, why do so many religions promote or require it?

Quote: (07-23-2016 12:17 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

Rex -this is not said in any negative way- I believe you have said/implied in the past posts that you've gone years without female affection and also expressed in another thread fairly recently that you're not having much success with game/girls.

I say this because I hope that this thread is not an indicator that you're getting further down on yourself and trying to find ways to rationalize what you perceive as your shortcomings, rather than work on them or work on finding happiness in other aspects of life.

If I've misread the motivations behind this please say so, I just wouldn't want you to go down the road of mgtow when I'm sure you can still find ways to achieve success and satisfaction, either with girls or in life in general. There is all the help and advice you could wish for right here at your fingertips.

More advice was given in these threads he posted-

Anyone else here gone YEARS without any female affection?

Bad "game" vs. innate personality. Simply unattractive?

Where do you find women to date in your 40's?

Prolonging dry-spells vs. banging low quality

there are others but I have to get some work done

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This is not a "calling out" of Rex, not at all -he seems like a good guy who is simply dissatisfied- but it must be noted that the same advice, questions, offers of help have been given repeatedly- But here we are.

At some point a guy has to make a decision, whether that means Rex seeing this circumstance with girls as a problem and taking the advice to remedy it, or deciding to live with the situation and pursue happiness elsewhere in life as Lizard laid out.

Either way, what is required is ACTION on his part, not more threads leading to no meaningful decisions of change.

Note- Giovonny should be given an RVF medal for his excellent advice and tireless offers of help

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First date in 12 years tomorrow. What do I need to know? - eradicator - 10-26-2016

Also, OP what city are you in? If you are out in the middle of Zainesville, OH, the advice you get will be different than if you are in New York. If you are in Los Angeles, I would give different advice than Miami. Etc.

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