[RexImperator]

I know there is already an over 40 thread but it's very wide-ranging in topics. I'm specifically interested in how to find women that will be receptive to a guy my age. I don't like the idea of online dating and I don't really go out to drink that much, maybe once per week, if that. The girls I meet when I go out to bars around here are often single moms, smokers, etc.

Is it all about building up a social circle? Or finding better venues?

It seems like people socialize a lot through activities like Crossfit, etc. but that's too expensive for my budget.

The cold-approaching of random women during the day (coffee shops, the subway, etc.) is a fun thing to do now and again to work on your conversation skills but I don't see it as realistic in terms of results. The odds are so low, it would require a massive number of approaches and time investment.

[Jesus Christ]

Can you pass for younger?

Lie, and go as young as is believable.

[heavy]

Where do you spend your time now? That'd be a starting point. If you're out and about and active, you're seeing women who are available. Chances are better they're available than not in fact, because single chics have more of a need to get out than chics who have a guy to give them attention.

Work, happy hour, gym, grocery store, friends of friends, concerts, social sports stuff, etc.

Actually, yeah, what Jesus wrote...you'll find when you start doing these things that the women worth banging...dating...are younger and in better shape.

[RexImperator]

(12-04-2015 11:46 AM)Jesus Christ Wrote:  

Can you pass for younger?

Some real talk, right there.

[WestIndianArchie]

Doesn't sound like you're too integrated with the people in your daily life, and your preferences for social activity don't lend themselves to meeting anyone.

I know the feeling.

Go to night school. That's how i started to meet more like minded people, including women.

And you haven't mentioned your job. Now is a perfect time to meet your co-workers friends

Overall you need to me around more people that are not completeb strangers

WIA

[Remington]

Internet dating attracts some decent looking older women. I'm sure you could pull a few from OKC or Tinder.

[olive]

(12-04-2015 11:50 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

(12-04-2015 11:46 AM)Jesus Christ Wrote:  

Can you pass for younger?

Some real talk, right there.

I wouldn't recommend lying as the default methodology. there's a place and taste to lie but about basics - meh.

Internet dating is okay if you think it's for you - I would NEXT it though.

as mentioned above, just go out. be around an abundance of women, be the best yourself in every way you can and you will start connecting right away.
I would suggest non-pickup environments, coffee shop, supermarket, shopping centre. a remark - a spark, start talking, get going.
night school is a good one it is a non-pickup environment.
any kind of learning environment would do it here's a couple: languages, dancing, art class, yoga (lol)

the main difficulty is not going out and staying out as much as possible till you make connections. it is the on-going effort. people just give in, fall back to convenience of their old selves. with a concentrated effort age 40something is not a problem. in fact it's a huge bonus once you learn how to harnass its power. keep at it, mid twenties chicks will fight over you.

[Menace]

The same place you find women if you were 30 or 20. Online and outside. Online gets a bad rap, but you can find quality stuff if you target specific niches (yes even in east coast U.S.).

Lie about your age, especially if you pass for younger (this is only relevant on-line). Who cares. The only point of on-line is to meet her in person. Tell her then. I have never had anything go bad over this. Ever!

If you don't want to meet women online, then you need to structure your life so that you are out way more and run into more women. It is always and forever a numbers game. Use el mechanico's "hack" of doing shit the hard way. Go to museums, gallery events, whatever. Be out there. If you're only out once per week and don't want to do online, how do you seriously expect to meet women?

Also, know your goals. Notches? LTR? Notches require lots and lots of time (guys underestimate how much time they expend doing this that could be devoted to other things). Your city/lifestyle may not be amenable to that sort of thing.

[RexImperator]

I would be fine doing the "boring girlfriend" thing (LTR).

Quote:

If you're only out once per week and don't want to do online, how do you seriously expect to meet women?

I know. This is the problem I'm trying to solve.

I don't really have the energy to stay out late, so perhaps finding venues that have happy hours during the week might be an idea.

[el mechanico]

El mech daygame hack..
thread-16884.html

[Jesus Christ]

Lying is the most important thing in this scenario.

When I was 18 I was slaying 25 year old hotties with game. There's not a fucking chance in hell I could have done that if they had known my real age. I passed for 28-30, I lied, and none of them ever ever found out. Just that one fact would have destroyed everything, despite these girls absolutely loving me. If I had told them my real age, I would have prived them of the experience, and it would have been worse for them. By lying, I not only did myself a favour, but I saved the girls from shooting themselves in the foot. You are doing them a favour.

[Dusty]

Go to Philippines.

[OregonToSoCal]

(12-04-2015 01:22 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

I would be fine doing the "boring girlfriend" thing (LTR).

Quote:

If you're only out once per week and don't want to do online, how do you seriously expect to meet women?

I know. This is the problem I'm trying to solve.

I don't really have the energy to stay out late, so perhaps finding venues that have happy hours during the week might be an idea.

I'm in that same place right now. I'm naturally a morning person and just cannot do the late night bar scene. It's not a fit for my personality nor my energy level. However popping in for happy hours during the week? Now that's something I can do. Added benefits of happy hours are, the prices of drinks are cheaper than normal, the crowd is mostly professional and people who are not necessarily "bar people" will still do happy hours and best of all you can get a lot of game work done and still be home by 7 if you want to be.

[olive]

okay "el mech's daygame hack". or as the rest of the world calls it "just go out" lol

JC. gotcha! you lie then... whatever floats your boat.

on the side - here is some free constructive criticism if you're open to it: to me it seems you are rather inflexible in adjusting your truths.
example: occupation thread where you mentioned an engineer should not mention occupation or game over. I tried to explain it's simply not true. obviously you've seen the opposite with your own eyes. and I've seen something you haven't. perhaps keep an open eye. don't reject it because you haven't seen it and unable to comprehend it.
I remember thinking on this earth no man could walk in kiss a girls lips without saying a single word. I have seen natural guy consistently pulling this off at club scene.
just to be clear I am not saying he can do this to every woman. I am saying he can do this several times and not to one drunk/drugged shitbag but a hottie.
there is some invisible communication going on there haven't completely decrpyted yet but it can be done.
you might be rather pleasantly surprised on some of the "hard truths" you got there. being an engineer, this new found knowledge can be useful to you. things we may not grasp do happen.

on the matter of age - all the same. I am a bit of an odd duck, *loved* late 30s/40s woman when I was in college, was spending most of my time with those age group rather than classmates and like. I'm getting closer to the target age group and I still have the same taste. even in college, with this prospect age group, I had no problem about my age. sure a couple of potentials (not that many) just drop out of process but who the fuck cares, there are literally millions of women. I would be more than happy if she gets the f out asap.

on the other hand, if you don't want to drop even one single prospect, if you feel the need to hit every pussy and a pussy that requires you to be something you're not - fine, by all means lie all the way to Baghdad and back.

[Jesus Christ]

(12-04-2015 02:16 PM)olive Wrote:  

okay "el mech's daygame hack". or as the rest of the world calls it "just go out" lol

JC. gotcha! you lie then... whatever floats your boat.

on the side - here is some free constructive criticism if you're open to it: to me it seems you are rather inflexible in adjusting your truths.
example: occupation thread where you mentioned an engineer should not mention occupation or game over. I tried to explain it's simply not true. obviously you've seen the opposite with your own eyes. and I've seen something you haven't. perhaps keep an open eye. don't reject it because you haven't seen it and unable to comprehend it.
I remember thinking on this earth no man could walk in kiss a girls lips without saying a single word. I have seen natural guy consistently pulling this off at club scene.
just to be clear I am not saying he can do this to every woman. I am saying he can do this several times and not to one drunk/drugged shitbag but a hottie.
there is some invisible communication going on there haven't completely decrpyted yet but it can be done.
you might be rather pleasantly surprised on some of the "hard truths" you got there. being an engineer, this new found knowledge can be useful to you. things we may not grasp do happen.

on the matter of age - all the same. I am a bit of an odd duck, *loved* late 30s/40s woman when I was in college, was spending most of my time with those age group rather than classmates and like. I'm getting closer to the target age group and I still have the same taste. even in college, with this prospect age group, I had no problem about my age. sure a couple of potentials (not that many) just drop out of process but who the fuck cares, there are literally millions of women. I would be more than happy if she gets the f out asap.

on the other hand, if you don't want to drop even one single prospect, if you feel the need to hit every pussy and a pussy that requires you to be something you're not - fine, by all means lie all the way to Baghdad and back.

I never said that it was "game over", I am talking about optimization. Unless you are deformed every guy can get a girl every now and then. Thoughout one's life you are constantly looking for ways to take your success rates as far as they will go. It is a process of optimization. You can still be non-optimal and get results, but not the best results you could be getting.

[Menace]

Rex if you don't do on-line, then you need to talk to 2-5 women per day. Ideally this happens while you're going on about your life, I'm not suggesting you prowl the streets. 30 days * 2-5 women is 60-150 women per month. With a 1% success rate, you are banging (and then LTR hopefully) 0.6 to 1.5 women per month. Therefore by sheer numbers, you should be able to find an LTR in 2 months, give or take.

Why the aversion to on-line? Do you have some limiting beliefs?

[RexImperator]

Dang, that's a lot of approaches.

Quote:

Why the aversion to on-line? Do you have some limiting beliefs?

I don't know, it just seems weird to me. Plus, the local talent where I live is absolutely horrible on OKC.

[MrXY]

It's only "weird" if you think getting ass left and right from women you would never otherwise meet is "weird." I suggest you stop cockblocking yourself and try online in a serious way. There are several sites to try other than OKC. Online is great for guys in their 40's in you are not averse to banging in the 30-45 range

As discussed, Happy Hours are also excellent. Find out the days and locations of the hot ones in your area.

Hotel bars-find a few at hotels that draw business travelers. These usually see action from 6:30-10:30 so you don't have to stay out too late

Events- wine tastings, cookoffs, gallery openings, charity parties and auctions are all good. They attract not only cougars but younger women who are more sophisticated and more likely to like older men.

El Mech daygame hack.

Protip=Beware "social circle" game. Married hags will try to set you up with "age appropriate" women, i.e. their cat lady friends and other cast offs of the dating market. They will NOT set you up with juicy 20's chicks.

[Capitán Peligroso]

(12-04-2015 09:19 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

Dang, that's a lot of approaches.

Quote:

Why the aversion to on-line? Do you have some limiting beliefs?

I don't know, it just seems weird to me. Plus, the local talent where I live is absolutely horrible on OKC.

The local talent EVERYWHERE is horrible on OKC compared to a random sample. OKC is full of overweight semi-intelligent (but think they're a lot smarter than they are) introverted types who affirm their inflated view of themselves by getting bombarded by thirsty fools on OKC. I don't consider it a good use of my time anywhere in the U.S., and I tend to like brainy introvert types (not fat ones, mind you).

Try meetup.com, find some areas of interest and go check out the groups to see if anyone coming to the next event is worth more than a five minute conversation. These don't have to be expensive. I've had some pretty good luck with the local salsa meetup groups. It will definitely get you out of your shell, and once you get good at it, you can go to any major city in the world and meet people through the local salsa scene, and have a good time doing it.

When I look at a meetup group, I always look to see how many women have signed up, and whether or not they're attractive. In my area there seems to be two types of fitness groups, the new age-y fat acceptance types (which the attractive women seem to avoid) and the not new age-y not fat acceptance types which may or may not have attractive women in them. All you need to know is 1) would I enjoy this activity and 2) are there women that I might enjoy getting to know (based on their picture, and if you want to get that detailed, their profile).

As for lying about your age, it's a lot different when you're in your 40s than it is in your 20s. I don't recommend it. You can wrestle with your conscience on that one, but I've come to realize that fucking with my sense of integrity does more to damage my inner game than 100 girls in their 20s telling me I'm too old for them (and there are plenty who like older men. You won't find out if you don't ask. You will get better at asking, and you need to better at asking, with practice. You need to be discreet, and adroit). And if you're remotely interested in an LTR with someone, it's going to come up, and you'll be back at square one.

I also agree with MrXY on the online thing:

Quote:

It's only "weird" if you think getting ass left and right from women you would never otherwise meet is "weird." I suggest you stop cockblocking yourself and try online in a serious way. There are several sites to try other than OKC. Online is great for guys in their 40's in you are not averse to banging in the 30-45 range

Truth. There are a million other dating sites besides OKC, which I only use when I'm traveling. You never know who is out there if you don't look.

All of this is assuming you have your fitness, style, and the other things we talk about here on the forum together.

[RatInTheWoods]

+1 for online game

Theres loads of tidy milfs online.

Buyers market for blokes in the 35-45 range

[Excalibur]

Rex, I asked the same question in the 40+ forum a while back. I got mostly vague theoretical answers. The guys who gave more specific answers turn out to be over sees in SE Asia or Eastern Europe. To be fair, I was asking how to meet women 25-33. Not saying older guys here don't meet younger girls in N America or Western Europe, but I just did not get too many specific pointers. There are couple of decent answer above. I will try some of the routes.

If you want to date 35-45 y/o. Online is definitely the way to go. You should have no problems.

I worked pretty hard 2 months ago. Lots of day time approaches, and online game. I am 44 y/o btw, and Asian in US which adds another level of challenge. I went on 8 dates in 1 and 1/2 month. I lied about my age on Tinder. I listed 38. I only got 3 dates from day time approaches. I am still seeing one girl I met in the supermarket. I banged one girl from online, but she's not hot enough to take time away from me trying to meet a better girl.

Online is +/-. The girls can be decent looking, but vibe might be a bit off. It's fine if you have a lot of free time or come across edgy and girls would have sex with you right away. For me it take 2-3 dates to bang a girl, and it is just not worth my time to bang a girl that I don't want to chill with. I've had a GF from Match.com where I lied about my age, and told her my real age on our second date. It worked out OK and we dated for 8 months. So I don't think lying is a big deal if you are completely screened out because of your age. On some sites, you cannot even search for girls more than 10 years younger.

You are right that day game is very time consuming for average guys. Not for naturals though. I know 2 natural guys both pretty good looking (not model quality), great vibe and body language, dress well. They get a lot of eye contacts from girls, then they approach. Over 70% of time they will get a number. Naturals just dress well, be themselves, make eye contact with girls, smile, approach. They are always puzzled why we don't have plenty of girls in our lives lol.

Being in your 40s is a lot more challenging. Right now work stress is picking up. When I finish work I just want to go home and decompress. I am in no mood to slick back my hair, dress to the 9, and flirt with girls in the super market.

I might try the meet.up route later when I have more time. I tried the gallery opening route. It's just not enough volume of free girls like in bars and clubs. Maybe in NYC it works. High end charity events have some hot young girls looking to meet a rich older guys. I've only been to a few of those, but not exactly they type of girls I want or can afford. And agree that friends or co-workers will only set you up with age appropriate girls 38, 40 y/o.

I am in the same boat, but I am going to go full cylinder. I don't want to be asking the same question 6 years later. Where do you find women to date in your 50's?

[Robert Plant]

After a year and a half of learning game, I've come to the following conclusions about what gets me as an above 40 guy, a decent number of quality bangs...

-Dress well
-Be in really good shape
-Have some muscles (USA specific)
-Get good at touching and sex
-Approach, Approach, Approach
-Use online, day-game and night-game
-Don't be hung up on your age.
-Don't be hung up on a women's age. In other words, if you think she's cute, it doesn't matter if she's 20 or 50.

Also, 1st date strategy is crucially important especially with online girls. I think it might be different with younger guys, but I use online first dates to show my value, establish comfort and establish a sexual/ touchy frame. I don't push for a make out or sex on the 1st date. The only exception is when the women makes it clear this is what she wants. As a result, my rate of getting a second date with sex is very high.

[BDawg]

(12-05-2015 11:16 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  

-Dress well
-Be in really good shape
-Have some muscles (USA specific)
-Get good at touching and sex
-Approach, Approach, Approach
-Use online, day-game and night-game
-Don't be hung up on your age.
-Don't be hung up on a women's age. In other words, if you think she's cute, it doesn't matter if she's 20 or 50.

To be well dressed, healthy and aware of nonverbal behavior is key. It would also benefit a man of this age to be close to or in a major city where his "type" is common.

You have to go through quantity to find quality.

[Virtus]

Ukraine. A good level salary in Ukraine is $400 a month. What kind of a status do you think an average well dressed, we'll earning, game savvy foreigner have? If it's not like we don't have s multi page thread about Ukraine somewhere here

[StrikeBack]

An artistic pursuit will more likely have young women who are cool with, or even prefer dating older men. Not only that, people involved in those pursuits are generally accepting of this, and you will experience very little cockblocking.

It is true in my experience with dancing, music (live jazz) and other performing arts.

I'd take one up as a hobby, or frequent such venues.