An insecure feminist goes to Reddit in the hopes of validation but is rudely disappointed to find out that most men do not think she is attractive.

http://www.xojane.com/issues/reddit-rate-me-board

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Within minutes of publishing my “Rate Me” post -- complete with seven photos from my OKCupid profile -- the scores came pouring in. At first, most of them were super uplifting. It was nice to hear that people thought I was attractive and pretty, even if the happiness it gave me was rather fleeting. I was getting scores that totally matched up with how I felt about myself, and I was happy to know that I was not unreasonably self-confident.

That same night, I went out to a bar with some friends. Between laughter and sips of beer, I would casually check up on my Reddit post for updated scores. I watched as the ratings quickly dipped from 7s and 8s to “just alright,” “fat and average,” and “a solid 3.” It hit me like a train; all the negativity piled on, and it seemed to be an obvious explanation for all of the reasons I had failed in life, especially in love. I felt queasy attempting to digest that reality.

This is what she learned from finding out from others that she could be prettier if she were to lose weight:

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My fat ass isn’t going away any time soon, so the world might as well get used to it. And I never want to care what anyone else thinks of it again.

The female thirst for validation is real, and its massive.

However, a woman living in a developed Western country really has no incentive to become slim. Whether or not she loses weight, she's still going to be getting hundreds of messages a week from guys wanting to date her/have sex with her.

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Raquel Melody is a Yale graduate living and working in New Jersey. She produces a radio show, writes poetry, and loves being onstage. An avid fan of reality TV, Raquel wrote her thesis on the Jersey Shore and has no regrets. Her favorite pastimes include eating the last French fry, social justice, and singing in the shower (sorry).

Follow her on Twitter: @RaquelMelodyNJ
Website: raquelmelody.com

Its almost like shes a parody.

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the thought of deliberately going out of one’s way to bring someone else down felt exceptionally cruel.

You went deliberately out of the way seeking just the opposite from others.
Live by the sword, die by the sword.

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Yet I realized what was worse than being insulted was that I felt I needed the approval of others to legitimize my own happiness. It’s completely ridiculous and unhealthy to live your life on eggshells like that, constantly wondering what the next person will think of you.

The "lightbulb moment" …yet…

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My fat ass isn’t going away any time soon, so the world might as well get used to it. And I never want to care what anyone else thinks of it again.

… self-improvement seems to be out of the question. We all just have to "get used to it."

Raquel, here's what guys "getting used to it" means: You are back to being off most guys' radar. You are invisible.

The mob figured out that their time was being wasted to validate someone else's narcissism.

She'd be very pretty if she lost 10-20. As it is, she has a very pretty face nonetheless. A fat girl is a waste of a pretty girl.

Sad, she needs a guy friend that she's clearly attracted to but he sees right through her because of the weight. Like that English girl who went from 246 lbs to 134. Fat shaming is the only way to end this.

Hilarious, her hot or not rating tracked similarly to a penny stock pump and dump.

Shes's chunky with an average face and thunder thighs and expected lavish praise of her beauty.

American women are accustomed to being told how "beautiful" they look and how "amazing" they are while they are in fact average or below.

I read the article and most shocking thing to me was the mediocrity of the writing skills of this "Yale graduate".

This person is also a Yale graduate. This is the type of low grade rote educated moron that the ivy league is producing now. Her fat ass probably got in on affirmative action too.

Ever notice how the most successful ivy leaguers are always the drop outs.

A solid 3 is kind of harsh though i'd give her a 4 because her face doesn't have droopy double chins or anything.

If you got suitably drunk you could always throw a blanket over her body and just bust one on her face before leaving.

4/10 WNB. 5/10 COFO (Cum on face only)

Skimmed it and saw the J. Lopez reference... She thinks being overweight gives her "curves".

Quote: (10-02-2014 06:53 AM)aSimpNamedBrokeback Wrote:  

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Raquel Melody is a Yale graduate living and working in New Jersey. She produces a radio show, writes poetry, and loves being onstage. An avid fan of reality TV, Raquel wrote her thesis on the Jersey Shore and has no regrets. Her favorite pastimes include eating the last French fry, social justice, and singing in the shower (sorry).

Follow her on Twitter: @RaquelMelodyNJ
Website: raquelmelody.com

Its almost like shes a parody.

Shame she's fat; her face isn't that bad.

Quote: (10-02-2014 08:01 AM)3extra Wrote:  

Shame she's fat; her face isn't that bad.

I would actually take her fat body over her face.

This is what happens when women get out of their echo chamber and inquire about their looks. There weren't many cute girls trying to sabotage her by telling her that she's beautiful and there are probably way more attractive women already attention-whoring on that reddit.

I've seen it said before that a lot of feminists display autistic traits.

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Apparently I look angry in this photo... I’m not!

I really think there might be something to that.

Apparently? You're scowling. Of course you look angry.

The face photo looks like a tranny where the surgery went wrong.

Seriously who the fuck are the men who rated her a 7 or 8? They need to be beaten with a stiff club. She's a 4 at best.

Did I say best? I meant beast.

^^^^
My bad. I was going off the pineapple photo alone.

Forget I said that.

Damn between the pineapple, her profile, her gluttony and personality, this girl is one of the most basic bitches I've encountered here.

Quote: (10-02-2014 09:11 AM)3extra Wrote:  

^^^^
My bad. I was going off the pineapple photo alone.

Forget I said that.

Rookie move, Son. RVF members are like prospectors, and they will dig up every photo available. Learn to be more patient, and wait for the other pics to roll in.

Quote: (10-02-2014 09:11 AM)3extra Wrote:  

^^^^
My bad. I was going off the pineapple photo alone.

Forget I said that.

You fell for the classic high angle camera shot that fat women love. It has a slimming appearance.

If a woman's dating profile pics only contains these angles and shots from tits up, it's pretty much guaranteed she's significantly overweight.

Quote: (10-02-2014 08:35 AM)TheWastelander Wrote:  

This is what happens when women get out of their echo chamber and inquire about their looks. There weren't many cute girls trying to sabotage her by telling her that she's beautiful and there are probably way more attractive women already attention-whoring on that reddit.

I've seen it said before that a lot of feminists display autistic traits.

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Apparently I look angry in this photo... I’m not!

I really think there might be something to that.

Apparently? You're scowling. Of course you look angry.

Spitting image of an Argentinian chick at my day slave and yes she's retarded as fuck.

Quote: (10-02-2014 09:20 AM)assman Wrote:  

Quote: (10-02-2014 09:11 AM)3extra Wrote:  

^^^^
My bad. I was going off the pineapple photo alone.

Forget I said that.

You fell for the classic high angle camera shot that fat women love. It has a slimming appearance.

If a woman's dating profile pics only contains these angles and shots from tits up, it's pretty much guaranteed she's significantly overweight.

I could still see she was fat but I thought her face didn't warrant a 3.

Having seen the other photos I'm hanging my head in shame.

I'll see myself out.

She would have a good exotic Italian look if she was skinny.

If you melt off the face fat her face is aligned well, and she has the showings of good face structure from the little left of her suffocating chin. Her biggest facial flaw is her nose, that would look way bigger at her normal weight.

She is supposed to be petite, she is likely 30lbs overweight. She is running fraud thinking her Mediterranean rump us "curvy".

Not sure she would be a smoke show being skinny but she would be a cute broad for sure, 6-7 range and she would have a booty.

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it seemed to be an obvious explanation for all of the reasons I had failed in life, especially in love. I felt queasy attempting to digest that reality.[/b]

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You know what, actually I respect her for being mature enough to say that. Most feminists would go lindywest and say something like ''fuck you, you misogynist pigs, you can't handle seeing a real woman you losers!'' but she regretfully admits that she wasn't the beautiful snowflake she thought she was. Facing the truth is a step towards recovery.

Quote: (10-02-2014 09:35 AM)turkishcandy Wrote:  

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it seemed to be an obvious explanation for all of the reasons I had failed in life, especially in love. I felt queasy attempting to digest that reality.[/b]

"You know what, actually I respect her for being mature enough to say that. Most feminists would go lindywest and say something like ''fuck you, you misogynist pigs, you can't handle seeing a real woman you losers!'' but she regretfully admits that she wasn't the beautiful snowflake she thought she was. Facing the truth is a step towards recovery."
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Meh, i hear you but even a broken clock is right 2 times a day.

5/10 wnb. but if she lost the weight, i actually think she would be pretty. I don't get why she insists her fat isn't going anywhere. She would have to actually eat healthy and exercise and would probably look great in a year. if she keeps enjoying the average american diet and not exercising, she will continue to be average to below average.

As others have correctly noted, this is a perfect example of what happens when chicks venture out too far from the safety of their Facebook validation chamber into the real world.

Girls undeniably live on attention. I had a girl I met online recently admit to my face--one of several who've said this--that she wants to delete her profile, but it gives her a "lift" every day. When I asked, "you mean all the attention and praise?" she replied, "Oh yeah" with some serious tonal emphasis.

Chicks aren't used to getting criticism or disses; they're used to getting nothing but compliments. Even butt-ugly chicks get several "beautiful!" comments when they upload some bullshit picture on Facebook where they're slightly more dressed up that usual.

There's even some self-awareness in the comments that doesn't look like trolling:

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I don't think she posted asking strangers to weigh in on her attractiveness because she was really confused by whether she was attractive or not. I think she wanted strangers on the interwebs to be like "Damn, girl, you FINE" because she believes she's attractive and having people tell you that you are attractive feels good. And if she really thought lots of people would consider her unattractive and tell her so on the World Wide Web she never would have posted her pic on Reddit.

But then of course there's this, where I guarantee you the author is fat and ugly:

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Wow. It's pretty offensive that you view people who don't need validation from others as either hermits or sociopaths. There do exist people in this world who don't need the opinions of others to shape their days, who neither shut themselves up or lack morals. Is self-confidence really so rare from where you hail?

Which brought forth an epic response:

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You don't need your parents to tell you that they love you? That they're proud of you? What about your partner? Your friends?

You are confident enough, need no validation, to that point that you could walk outside naked? Handle getting arrested for it? You don't mind saying something stupid in front of someone you admire? Doing something humiliating in front of someone you hate?

There's a difference between needing external validation and letting it shape your life. There is a difference between self-confidence, and the daily bits of validation we need to remember that we exist. Remember--every time someone speaks to you, they are validating your existence. Could you accept no one ever speaking to you again? If every single person on the face of the planet decided to suddenly ignore you...

The need for validation affects us all to different extents, but it exists in everyone who doesn't have some sort of unusual ontology (RE: Hermits, Sociopaths, etc.)

And no. Self-confidence is not rare from where I hail. But it's a self confidence not born out of inconsiderate thought, but one hard won through thorough self-reflection--which is the kind of self-confidence most of the people bugging the OP seem to lack.

People who truly feel self confident in any given moment see no need to bring down other people. Those who do, are usually seeing something in themselves they don't like, or seeing a possible version of themselves they wouldn't like.

So, yeah.