I'm going to do my last year of university this fall and spring. I'm pretty short on funds, and I'm planning on living in the dorms anyway, so my friend suggested I apply to be an RA. If I get the job I'll save about $3000 a semester in housing and get paid another $2700-3000, which will cover my meal plan and about 20% of tuition/fees. Plus I'll be in a great position to meet new chicks. Sounds great so far.

But... it seems risky to swoop the girls I meet in my dorm as an RA, because I'm pretty sure I won't be "allowed" to "date" girls in my dorm, and if a girl complains about me I'll be seen as abusing a position of authority or some crap. I could get fired, or if it was bad enough I might get kicked out of school I suppose. I'm in a great program in a STEM field, all I have left is some core requirements, and I'd rather not screw it up over pussy.

FWIW it's a pretty small school, with around 6000 students attending on campus and maybe half that many living in the dorms. It's also a fairly small town, very spread out but under 50,000 people with no large city nearby. Logistics really suck most places here. Campus is really the only place in town with good logistics, as there is the campus pub and a solid bounce location a short walk away, all within 10 minutes of the dorms. That, plus other factors means I can get by without mining my dorm for talent, but it'll be hard to resist 18-20 year old chicks right down the hall.

So, do you think I'm blowing the risk out of proportion, or should I just ignore the chicks that live in my dorm if I get an RA job? Depending what dorm I'm assigned, that could be like 20% of the girls living on campus.

This isnt entirely relevant to your thread, but Im curious.

You know how guys can supposedly get fired or w/e from fucking chicks in their jobs? Ive always wondered how it was possible. Like how would they know for sure that youve fucked? Couldnt you just deny it?

If they dont know, and you deny, and you get punished anyway, could that mean that any random chick whos got a grudge against you could target you?

An RA that hooks up with the girls in his dorm is a shitbag and doesn't deserve to be in a position of power.

College students are children who have just made their way to the first real stage of adulthood. They need to have some people who serve as reliable sources of decency and help. An RA is the closest thing to adult supervision that exists once a student leaves the home of his/her parents.

Violating that trust would make you a fucking douche.

If you take the job, you must do the job. It ought not be an option to let people down because you can't control your dick.

Obviously these are all hypotheticals for you, and of course I don't mean it personally. You haven't done anything and are simply mulling the pros and cons of the job. What I am saying would apply to someone who abuses a position of authority over young people (and an RAship is certainly a position of authority).

You've gotta make a choice as to whether you want to sacrifice that pool of girls for the job. If not, then don't take the job. That's what I think.

Quote: (06-03-2014 01:37 AM)cooledcannon Wrote:  

If they dont know, and you deny, and you get punished anyway, could that mean that any random chick whos got a grudge against you could target you?

Yes, and that's also an issue I'm worried about.

Quote: (06-03-2014 01:39 AM)polymath Wrote:  

An RA that hooks up with the girls in his dorm is a shitbag and doesn't deserve to be in a position of power.

College students are children who have just made their way to the first real stage of adulthood. They need to have some people who serve as reliable sources of decency and help. An RA is the closest thing to adult supervision that exists once a student leaves the home of his/her parents.

Violating that trust would make you a fucking douche.

If you take the job, you must do the job. It ought not be an option to let people down because you can't control your dick.

Obviously these are all hypotheticals for you, and of course I don't mean it personally. You haven't done anything and are simply mulling the pros and cons of the job. What I am saying would apply to someone who abuses a position of authority over young people (and an RAship is certainly a position of authority).

You've gotta make a choice as to whether you want to sacrifice that pool of girls for the job. If not, then don't take the job. That's what I think.

As far as I know being an RA here is not a position of much authority at all. Check IDs and sign people in when I have to work the door, chaperone dances, tell people to stop smoking weed in their room, stuff like that. My authority would extend to my floor alone, and I'd probably stay away from chicks like that even if I wasn't an RA just to keep the drama at a bit of distance.

I've been in mentor roles before, and no, I don't take advantage of my youngsters. I've been a TA, trained new people at my job, etc and I wait until they're out from under my wing before I make a move. It's just basic ethics. If you're thinking I meant I was going to be banging girls who were crying on my shoulder (because I'm an RA, not just some guy, and I'm supposed to have a clue and offer guidance) because they miss their high school sweetheart, that's probably not going to happen.

However, suppose I pick up a chick at the pub and bang her in my room the first week of school. She lives the floor above me and I hadn't met her yet. Whoops! That's the kind of thing I'm worried about. Seriously, one of the dorms is freaking huge and if I'm proscribed from banging any girl in that building it will be a shitty year. I'm not concerned with the pure morality of the situation, but with the potential consequences.

I'm honestly thinking it might be best to just do the serial monogamy thing for the year. Soft harem is much more my thing--I'm not really about amassing a huge notch count--but I think it'd be pretty hard to pull off in such a small town. I'll be moving back to a big city in August 2015 so this is a temporary inconvenience.

I get what you're saying, and it's a totally valid concern. It adds complexity to your life because your normal way of meeting people might accidentally lead you to a girl that is in your dorm, and that may get you in hot water even if she doesn't live on your floor.

At the same time, you have to recognize that the consequences stem from the moral sentiment. People in such a position don't have much wiggle room because it's hard to defend hooking up with someone whose well-being you're supposed to (in some nonzero way) maintain. I'm not saying in the sense of preying on people. I mean that young girls have no idea what they want and they're not always making good decisions. You have to turn off your attraction to girls who are under your RA jurisdiction, whatever that jurisdiction entails. Maybe you aren't concerned about the moral aspect but you have to at least recognize that others will be, including parents and administrators if some case were to arise.

If it were me, I wouldn't take the job unless I were willing to ensure that I don't get with a girl if she's in my dorm. Zoom out from the situation and think about what could happen. Girl gets knocked up by RA. Girl gets drunk and has sex with RA. None of the potential headlines bode well for you.

The upside of the job is that it pays. The downside is that it comes with responsibilities. I don't attend your university, but as I see it, those responsibilities are the cost of the upside.

I'm just trying to consider the worst-case scenario.

Good points.

$12k is a decent chunk of money but I can finish my degree without it. I could get another student job if I wanted to and still earn $3000 per semester, so the RAship is really only for the free housing.

There are other cons that make me a bit uncomfortable committing to be an RA. Other than not being able to bang any girl I'd like, the major problem I see is it will seriously curtail my freedom because I'll have to be available regularly at night, and I'll have to help organize and chaperone events. I don't like compromising my flexibility like that.

Also, cooledcannon's question is of real concern to me because I'm exactly the kind of person who attracts a lot of hate. I'm very blunt and not afraid to say less-than-PC (but true) things--I get called sexist or racist regularly over things that are just observations of fact or my personal preferences--and I have no problem verbally taking on a whole group of people if they're being stupid. People either love me or hate me, there's not much middle ground, and I'm apparently infamous enough on campus that people I've never met tell stories about me. There are also certain girls who are all too happy to poison others against me, even my best friend's GF apparently. So putting myself in a vulnerable position where I can be screwed over even if I don't do something wrong seems pretty foolish.

I was an RA my junior year of college.

While it had its perks and I had my own room, I hated every minute of it.

I am also a person to speak what's on my mind and the higher-ups didn't like that too much and I was fired a few weeks before the school year ended.

Once I was fired, I was truly happier.

I was an RA in school for two years. I didn't bang my students. Back then I had a strict rule of not banging chicks where I work. Still banged other chicks though, took a beginning salsa class and banged them that way.

AFTER I was done being an RA however. . .

I banged all my old students. I was an RA for two years(mostly because I Had the best boss ever...no other boss I ever had compared to how awesome he was.) the last year of school I choose not to be an RA. Everyone knew me, and when I went to parties. . . it was just amazing.

I got so so so so so many bangs that year.

Also being an RA is a lot of hard work. a lot more than what was mentioned above. and really, most employers out of college couldn't care less about that experience.

So basically its a job you do because you like it Some people love it (I did) other grow to hate it.

Oh the stories I have. . .

At my university at least I know that RAs occasionally do bang students, but its kept on the hush hush. They are fired if it comes to light. However RAs can date outside of their building.

Downsides (at my school)
-cant date in their dorm building
-lots of people hate them in their dorm building (you are the party police)
-Cant attend off campus parties, if they are reported taking part in under age drinking (even just being around it) and because some people hate you for writing them up, you will be ratted on.

Upsides
-money
-if you arent a power tripping asshole then afterwards you have a big network
-some girls have a thing for RAs

Personally I'm not a fan, I hate shitting on people like RAs have to, and at my university they have to do a bunch of crafting and organizing events that people rarely go to. I wouldnt want to give up 2 years of the college experience for it, but conditions will vary depending on your school's rules.

But economically its a lot of money to be making(saving) while in school.

Yeah, the only reason I'd do it is for the free housing and it sounds like it's just not worth it. I am former military with three seasons of professional experience in my field; I wouldn't bother using up space on my resume with something like being an RA.

If being an RA is like doing staff duty or CQ in the army, they'd have to pay me a lot more than $10/hr plus free housing. Weekends on a college campus are at least as bad as the barracks.

I'm actually taking intro ballroom and swing classes this fall, and I'll take the intermediate versions in the spring if my schedule works. I'm not just doing it to meet chicks, I really like dancing, but I figure between that, the gym, and the nightlife I'll be in good shape for meeting young hotties. Since I'm wrapping up my core classes, I'll also have lots of liberal arts chicks in my classes instead of the same girls I always saw in my major requirements. It should be a good year.

I'm really ruing how beta I was my first three years of school. I was like captain oneitis; I think I only asked out 10 girls the whole time. I did bang just about the hottest girl in my program for a few weeks (8.5-9, but batshit crazy), so it wasn't all bad, but still... I passed on a lot of girls that were obviously 100% into me because I was fixated on other chicks.

Uh just wondering.

How come you have such a good resume and shit, but you are low on funds and go to university and live in dorms?

Quote: (06-03-2014 04:39 AM)cooledcannon Wrote:  

Uh just wondering.

How come you have such a good resume and shit, but you are low on funds and go to university and live in dorms?

It's a long complicated story to tell, and not exciting, so I won't bore anyone with the details. I never stayed in dorms before, this will be my first year doing it. Low on funds = not liquid, I have a lot of assets but no cash. I'm spending the summer selling off my shit. I could've worked this summer and grossed $25k but I'm burnt out; I need the break and the freedom to just chill out and go have fun.

I don't even want to work in my field anymore, as it absolutely compromises my desired lifestyle. I'm getting my degree as a fallback, and it's a handy tool to live in other countries and work. I want the option of working contracts when I feel like it.

You have to understand that up until about 18 months ago I was plodding down the career + family path. I gave up on having a "real" career sometime last fall, and just 3 months ago finally gave up on the family thing. So everything I worked toward and built, all of my assumptions in my financial planning, etc were suddenly completely off target. Now I'm hoping I never have to work in my field again, but instead I'm trying to build a business or two that will produce enough income that I can comfortably pay off my debts and live wherever I want to live. I'm thinking Seattle as my home base, plus living in other countries for a month or two at a time when I feel like it.

To that end, I want to get through my degree without adding to my debt load and to spend absolutely as little money as possible while maximizing my odds of success. Living in the dorms means I won't have to worry about shopping, the gym and classes are a short walk away so it doesn't matter if my car breaks, no rental agreements or utilities to worry about, etc. If I'd been living in the dorms all along I would've graduated last year, I'd own a lot less shit, and I'd probably have a lot more money in the bank. When I moved here ~5 years ago I came with just what I could pack into my Jeep Cherokee. Now I have two cars, a motorcycle, and two 10x10 units full of crap. That was fine when I thought I was building a household and I was going to stay here and work in this area, but now I feel imprisoned by my belongings.

I have professional experience because I'm fully trained in my field, I just don't have my BS. I worked for the same company for 3 years, while I was going to school and when I took time off from school to work full time. I'm sick of that company, however, and to get a good position at another company I really need my BS. So I'm going back to take all the classes that are supposed to make me well rounded by sucking $10k in tuition out of me and forcing me to suffer through bullshit like World Literature and Art Appreciation. Like I said, I don't actually want to work in my field but I'd feel a lot safer spending my time building my own businesses if I can walk right into a soul sucking $80k+ job if everything falls apart on me.

Quote: (06-03-2014 01:39 AM)polymath Wrote:  

An RA that hooks up with the girls in his dorm is a shitbag and doesn't deserve to be in a position of power.

College students are children who have just made their way to the first real stage of adulthood. They need to have some people who serve as reliable sources of decency and help. An RA is the closest thing to adult supervision that exists once a student leaves the home of his/her parents.

Violating that trust would make you a fucking douche.

If you take the job, you must do the job. It ought not be an option to let people down because you can't control your dick.

Obviously these are all hypotheticals for you, and of course I don't mean it personally. You haven't done anything and are simply mulling the pros and cons of the job. What I am saying would apply to someone who abuses a position of authority over young people (and an RAship is certainly a position of authority).

You've gotta make a choice as to whether you want to sacrifice that pool of girls for the job. If not, then don't take the job. That's what I think.

- polymath probably walked in to see his "perfect" girl with her RAs baby batter dripping out the corner of her mouth and slowly trickling its way down to her chin before forming little sperm filled droplets and splashing all the floor.

That RA was such a douche.

My school was full of political correctness, and the RA jobs were always given to some "oppressed" minority, such as a gay. Seems like the uni had no problem with their "gay activities".

Lol I'm not sure what polymath is on about, maybe a different experience with RAs.

In all seriousness, those chicks are gonna get plowed by fraternity guys who have way more power than an RA does.

I know an RA that has boned a couple of the girls in his dorm. It's all good. It's not that much of a position of power. You sign people in, you tell people to stop smoking in their dorms when you smell weed, etc. It's not like you control their lives or the social scene.

It is what it is. If it saves you some cash, you're okay with living in a dorm, the opportunity cost is right, then go for it.

As far as being an RA goes it's a good gig in that you get free room and board as well as get paid. It's also something you can put on a resume shows your responsible, organizational skills, conflict resolution etc. I think your first priority should be your education not getting laid so from that perspective if you need to be an RA to afford school by all means do so.

The negative about being an RA, probably less important if your a senior vs a freshment when its fun to be young and stupid and do dumb things is that the same way a boss or manager will never really be accepted as part of the group with the workers being an RA is gonna put kind of a barrier between you and some students as your kinda "thhe man" or authority. If you smell weed in the hall you gotta do something about it or potentially other RA's doing rounds smell it and then its on you that you didn't do anything. Also like you said not that an RA should be some abstinent monk but I can also see it being frowned upon if your banging all the chickcs in the dorm.

I wouldn't be opposed to being an RA especially if you in your last year I imagine your somewhat beyond most of the stupid freshmen highjinks and already had a lot of fun and wild times so maybe having a tamer year as an RA wouldn't be that bad.

One other option, I know when I was going to scool it was typically much cheaper to split a house with a few friends off campus than live on campus Have you thought about doing that?

Quote: (06-03-2014 06:59 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

Quote: (06-03-2014 01:39 AM)polymath Wrote:  

An RA that hooks up with the girls in his dorm is a shitbag and doesn't deserve to be in a position of power.

College students are children who have just made their way to the first real stage of adulthood. They need to have some people who serve as reliable sources of decency and help. An RA is the closest thing to adult supervision that exists once a student leaves the home of his/her parents.

Violating that trust would make you a fucking douche.

If you take the job, you must do the job. It ought not be an option to let people down because you can't control your dick.

Obviously these are all hypotheticals for you, and of course I don't mean it personally. You haven't done anything and are simply mulling the pros and cons of the job. What I am saying would apply to someone who abuses a position of authority over young people (and an RAship is certainly a position of authority).

You've gotta make a choice as to whether you want to sacrifice that pool of girls for the job. If not, then don't take the job. That's what I think.

- polymath probably walked in to see his "perfect" girl with her RAs baby batter dripping out the corner of her mouth and slowly trickling its way down to her chin before forming little sperm filled droplets and splashing all the floor.

That RA was such a douche.

No. Fuck that bullshit. Talk to me with actual points instead of nonsense.

1) I believe that if you accept a job, you should do it correctly and refrain from personal indiscretions.

2) There can be actual consequences for people in today's American college atmosphere. Your school may vary. At my school, which had about 50% women due to affirmative action, if an RA (ours were all grad students) were to be revealed as having had sex with some of his resident advisees, he would certainly lose his position and perhaps face disciplinary action from the school. I went to a college in a very liberal city, and even the fraternities at my school are required to undergo anti-rape training in order to be allowed to host events. Personally I think this is utterly ridiculous, but that's the climate you find in some colleges.

If you want to go do manly things or be an "alpha" or whatever buzzword you want to use, the modern academic environment isn't the right place. Your academic career is in the hands of administrators who would often be happy to make an example of someone in the name of gender equality.

In my college all the RA's have girlfriends or bang randoms consistently. I would say it depends on your college talk to other students who lived on campus and find out. We were allowed to have girls in our dorms 24/7 during the weekends and everyone took advantage of that. People on my floor respected the RA cause he always had hot girls over. As long as you aren't a total dick to them nobody is going to say anything imo.

As far as the point about abusing authority as long as it is kept on the dl and you don't brag about it to everyone, or slam the head board against the wall every night, nobody will think anything. Look at James Bond or any movie that has an important figures they all bang women I see it as a sign of dominance and being in power rather than abusing it. People think celebrities swarm in pussy and they respect them and follow every detail of their life. As long as you are a likable person people will rationalize bad behavior and blame it on circumstances rather than you. Has something to do with fundamental attribution error I studied in psychology idk my two cents.

Quote: (06-03-2014 08:42 AM)polymath Wrote:  

Quote: (06-03-2014 06:59 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

Quote: (06-03-2014 01:39 AM)polymath Wrote:  

An RA that hooks up with the girls in his dorm is a shitbag and doesn't deserve to be in a position of power.

College students are children who have just made their way to the first real stage of adulthood. They need to have some people who serve as reliable sources of decency and help. An RA is the closest thing to adult supervision that exists once a student leaves the home of his/her parents.

Violating that trust would make you a fucking douche.

If you take the job, you must do the job. It ought not be an option to let people down because you can't control your dick.

Obviously these are all hypotheticals for you, and of course I don't mean it personally. You haven't done anything and are simply mulling the pros and cons of the job. What I am saying would apply to someone who abuses a position of authority over young people (and an RAship is certainly a position of authority).

You've gotta make a choice as to whether you want to sacrifice that pool of girls for the job. If not, then don't take the job. That's what I think.

- polymath probably walked in to see his "perfect" girl with her RAs baby batter dripping out the corner of her mouth and slowly trickling its way down to her chin before forming little sperm filled droplets and splashing all the floor.

That RA was such a douche.

No. Fuck that bullshit. Talk to me with actual points instead of nonsense.

1) I believe that if you accept a job, you should do it correctly and refrain from personal indiscretions.

2) There can be actual consequences for people in today's American college atmosphere. Your school may vary. At my school, which had about 50% women due to affirmative action, if an RA (ours were all grad students) were to be revealed as having had sex with some of his resident advisees, he would certainly lose his position and perhaps face disciplinary action from the school. I went to a college in a very liberal city, and even the fraternities at my school are required to undergo anti-rape training in order to be allowed to host events. Personally I think this is utterly ridiculous, but that's the climate you find in some colleges.

If you want to go do manly things or be an "alpha" or whatever buzzword you want to use, the modern academic environment isn't the right place. Your academic career is in the hands of administrators who would often be happy to make an example of someone in the name of gender equality.

1. Agreed. But it doesn't mean it is morally wrong to bang a student on your floor. Your not a astronaut that is going awol to bang aliens instead of sampling some rocks. Your not a politician that is wasting tax payer money banging have hookers snort coke off your greasy cheerio. Your "in charge" of a floor of college students.

Saying that an RA is in a position of authority is laughable.

When I was in college I was studying in the common room. An RA came in and told me to leave because they were locking all the common rooms (due to some drunk kid or something). I'm not a douche and I could have easily found another place to study, but the kid came at me all wrong. He didn't ask me to leave, he ordered me to leave.

RA - "Anti, find another place to study, common areas are off limits now"
Anti - "Why are COMMON areas off limits?"
RA - "Doesn't matter, find another place to study"
Anti - "Nah, I'm good here"
RA - "I'll write you up!"
Anti - "k"
RA - "Ok, give me your student ID"
Anti - "No"
RA - "I'll get the hall director!"
Anti - "Cool, I'll be here"

Yeah, lots of fucking authority there.

2. Yep, got it. I didn't say that you would not lose your position if caught. But that's about all thats gonna happen. What, you think your getting expelled for engaging in consensual sex with another adult? Nah, you may lose your job as an RA, but then you become a legend on your floor. And legends get pussy.

So yes it is a risk, but no it is not morally wrong.

A very close friend got a false rape allegation for fucking a freshman chick when he was her RA. That being said, there are several RAs in my school who have fucked freshman. Make sure that the chicks are cool and not batshit crazy. You may get to meet their parents, thats a good way to screen for craziness.

Don't get caught and don't get a false rape allegation.

I was an RA for my final year in university.

Don't be a power hungry douche. If you don't know what I mean by this, it's not for you.

I banged 3 other RAs in my first term and multiple students thereafter. One of the RAs was crazy and she knew where I lived and when I was on call so would show up at insane times of the night drunk as shit. She got the message pretty fast. Then there was this one girl who would make scenarios up to get us visit her at 12.30 whenever we were on shift. As CJ says, the stuff you see is super entertaining and pretty crazy at times.

It's pretty cool, depending on how many shifts you work. Ours was lenient and my female boss digged me a lot.

The only risky thing is fucking on call. If you fuck, ideally do it at your place.

I was in charge of 1500 students when on call and 60 personally who were in my 'patch'. It was my final year and I was already well known in my university so I would 'sort out' a lot of people. You scratch my back I scratch yours.

Don't become an RA if you:
- Can't handle women after you fuck them i.e damage control
- Can't handle people giving you shit
- Are not discreet

I really enjoyed my time as an RA. Keep in mind this was in the UK.

If you want to be an RA, do it. If you're worried about getting accused by some spited rez rabbit you plowed, remember - film every encounter.

I mean being an RA has its pros and cons I'd say do it for the cash and the housing, not for plowing girls on your floor. RAs tend to get nicer rooms (at least at my school) and can get away with a lot more than your average student (sure, you have pretty stringent rules but who's going to call you on them? You're the RA). Free housing is amazing, and at my school you got a pretty decent meal plan too which is fantastic if you're pinching pennies. The cash doesn't hurt either.

Quote: (06-03-2014 01:39 AM)polymath Wrote:  

An RA that hooks up with the girls in his dorm is a shitbag and doesn't deserve to be in a position of power.

College students are children who have just made their way to the first real stage of adulthood. They need to have some people who serve as reliable sources of decency and help. An RA is the closest thing to adult supervision that exists once a student leaves the home of his/her parents.

Violating that trust would make you a fucking douche.

If you take the job, you must do the job. It ought not be an option to let people down because you can't control your dick.

Obviously these are all hypotheticals for you, and of course I don't mean it personally. You haven't done anything and are simply mulling the pros and cons of the job. What I am saying would apply to someone who abuses a position of authority over young people (and an RAship is certainly a position of authority).

You've gotta make a choice as to whether you want to sacrifice that pool of girls for the job. If not, then don't take the job. That's what I think.