Okay, so I just got a call from my girlfriend, R.

There was a house party at a friend of hers who was supposedly gay, yesterday night. 6 guys, 5 girls(including mine),everyone is a beer drinker, so beer, ciggies and fried chicken.

I went with her at around 8, came back home around 12 (client presentation today, so couldn't stay over). I've never met the guy before The gay guy, J, was quite obviously not gay and very much into R. About 10 min after meeting him I texted R that he was very much straight and smitten by her. She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

From 8 - 12 pm, he has eyes for no one else except R. Regaling her with stories of ships and its crew (He's a chef on a boat). Shows her photos on his phone, tries to neg her, bring her into his world, light socially acceptable kino. His "game" is quite rudimentary and while lightly amused, I'm also slightly uncomfortable. Don't let it show, don't go in for macho mate guarding or posturing, let them be. Flirt with other girls, and speak to R normally, have fun.

I leave at 12, so R comes with me to the garage to see me off, we make out a bit in my car, walk on the deserted roads for a bit, she talks about stuff in her class etc. Then I leave. I am very uncomfortable and thinking of stayin over, but its an important client presentation and my girl can handle herself quite well. Also, none of the girls are slutty, one of them is J's cousin and R's best friend--- and she doesn't drink. So I leave. At 2:30 I text R gn etc,she replies back and then I go snore.

So apparently everyone slept at around 3 pm, except J and another guy. 330pm, he comes into the room the girls were sleeping in, and slides under the covers where R is, facing her. Its cold, and my R shivers occasionally in her sleep(always, no idea why). So he hugs her, then proceeds to start touching her boobs, over her clothes. She's a light sleeper, so obviously she wakes up. Looks at him and asks him to get away from her, he's making her uncomfortable. He says its okay, not a problem, and continues cuddling. R gets up and asks him to get the hell out. This time he calls her a dick(yes, a dick) and goes away, sulking.

6 am, my girl leaves with her friends, texts me and asks me to call her after the meeting. I do. She tells me this.

Going to meet her now, lets see what happens.

Maybe the gay wanted you to fuck his ass.

Quote: (10-10-2013 05:48 AM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  

Maybe the gay wanted you to fuck his ass.

Ha!

It seems like your girl did the right thing. If you are into her for LTR, and believe every word, I would confront the guy. Major disrespect and she shouldn't continue bring friends with the guy.

HOWEVER, I smell bull shit. If everything happened as she said it did, why didn't she leave right away?

corroborate the story. If there was some sort of commotion in a room with multiple people sleeping then someone else must have been a witness to what was going on.

The girl won't want you to, but I would anyway and confront the guy. I wouldn't punch his face in but I'd remind him that you live in (america, england, canada, australia?) and that just farting beside a girl can constitute sexual assault these days. I'd say he either owes you or he'll owe jail time. Say it all calmly, that you'd documented the incident and have a call in to a lawyer (all a lie but whatever)

This way, if your girl is lying the guy will freak the fuck out to try and clear himself, if not the guy will likely fold like a lawn chair and plead for mercy.

Quote: (10-10-2013 06:28 AM)ryanf Wrote:  

It seems like your girl did the right thing. If you are into her for LTR, and believe every word, I would confront the guy. Major disrespect and she shouldn't continue bring friends with the guy.

HOWEVER, I smell bull shit. If everything happened as she said it did, why didn't she leave right away?

She didnt leave because it was 4 am in the morning and she dint have a car. she'd come with me and was gonna go back with a friend. Also, the guy was kicked out and the door was then locked. If it had escalated further or he hadnt listened, then she'd have shouted the house down and walked out. Yes, I know it seems beta but I believe her. A few things add up.

He's sent 12 texts to her since morning apologizing for the behavior and swearing it was the beer. Asking for forgiveness and all, cold silence from her side, except for one text saying that their friendship was over.

Yeah, confronted him. He's terribly embarrassed and shit, but I kinda lost myself and went ballistic. Good thing the girlfriend wasnt there.

Quote: (10-10-2013 07:39 AM)Sharkie Wrote:  

Quote: (10-10-2013 06:28 AM)ryanf Wrote:  

It seems like your girl did the right thing. If you are into her for LTR, and believe every word, I would confront the guy. Major disrespect and she shouldn't continue bring friends with the guy.

HOWEVER, I smell bull shit. If everything happened as she said it did, why didn't she leave right away?

She didnt leave because it was 4 am in the morning and she dint have a car. she'd come with me and was gonna go back with a friend. Also, the guy was kicked out and the door was then locked. If it had escalated further or he hadnt listened, then she'd have shouted the house down and walked out. Yes, I know it seems beta but I believe her. A few things add up.

He's sent 12 texts to her since morning apologizing for the behavior and swearing it was the beer. Asking for forgiveness and all, cold silence from her side, except for one text saying that their friendship was over.

Yeah, confronted him. He's terribly embarrassed and shit, but I kinda lost myself and went ballistic. Good thing the girlfriend wasnt there.

+1 for a positive story for once. She seemed to act well, the friends seemed to act well in support of the situation, you confronted him.

I'm going to have to remember this thread exists and for once everything isn't a complete disaster.

Quote: (10-10-2013 08:09 AM)wiscanada Wrote:  

+1 for a positive story for once. She seemed to act well, the friends seemed to act well in support of the situation, you confronted him.

I'm going to have to remember this thread exists and for once everything isn't a complete disaster.

Thanks, yeah. Positive story.

Spoke to my girlfriend and told her I was proud of her for handling this stuff firmly and not allowing it to get out of control. For some reason she seems more in love (projection much?)

It's funny but had this happened in my pre-red pill days, I probably would never have realized what the guy was gonna do, remaining blissfully unaware of the subtle changes in body language that I noticed yesterday. Or worse, I would have become the jealous possessive boyfriend and dragged her along, losing value in everyone's eyes and making it easier to get cheated upon. Plus the insomnia and long nights staring at the ceiling and making deals with god to get me out of such nightmares.

Instead, I got free beer, good sleep, decent story and a test of faith.

Never let your LTR drink alcohol with other men especially at night and super-especially at night when you aren't there. Even "gay guys" become straight at will deploy their tactics to get your girl.

Glad to hear it worked out like it did. You have to be suspicious, when you know what we know. You love em, but you can never really trust em.

Quote: (10-10-2013 10:09 AM)RougeNoir Wrote:  

Never let your LTR drink alcohol with other men especially at night and super-especially at night when you aren't there. Even "gay guys" become straight at will deploy their tactics to get your girl.

It's better if your gf doesn't even have gay friends in the first place.

It's a warning flag for bad behavior.

"I went with her at around 8, came back home around 12 (client presentation today, so couldn't stay over). "

Red Flag.

Your girl thought it'd be more fun and fulfilling to stay out late and drink, instead of go home with you.

She made that choice. She's probably been making that choice. But she hasn't always made that choice.

Every time i've been in that situation, months down the line, she'll continue to make that choice and eventually chooses someone else or something else.

If this is your girlfriend, you have something to lose, something at stake. If this is just some random chick that you're fucking, you shouldn't care.

But when she gets the fun of going out, drinking, and flirting plus the safety of a relationship with a dude who'd rather be responsible than drink, she wins. She's in an advantageous position that allows her to indulge every whim.

And you by your actions or inaction allow it.

Now you face a dilemma.

A) If you do all the shit that she always wants to do 1) you don't do your own shit, 2) she thinks you're a push over.

Or

B) You keep a chick on a tight leash, in which case - she gets the attention she craves, but you don't get any relief from being a baby sitter.

This is one of the many burdens of a relationship. You have to keep upping the level of her mental commitment and involvement with you if you want to keep it going.

Like to hear from the rest of the Vets out there to tell me where I'm making my mental error.

WIA

Yes good warnings all round.

See, I didnt believe he was gay, this was the first time i had met him.
That was definitely not why I let her stay (there were other straight guys anyway).

I went there, scoped the environment, figured out that it was pretty okay (i knew the rest of the girls, and 2 other guy for a long time) to leave her alone.

Ultimately, while we all agree that any woman will cheat under the right circumstances, not everyone is a slut. At one end of the spectrum we have guys who pedestalize women and think they're all innocent angels, and at the other end there are the lifelong cynics who think that all girls will cheat most of the times. Neither extremes are completely true.

Yes, cheating has become easier due to contraceptives, a jet set life that does not confine females to one part of the world, the internet etc, but there are still a lot of (attractive) women out there who will pass the opportunity to cheat on their boyfriend if the preceding emotional/physical bond is good enough.

That being said, some of the reasons which may cause women to cheat, and the barriers are different for different females, are --

1- General Betaness of the guy
2- Terrible/Bad/Boring Sex life
3- No fear of getting found out
4- A slutty friends circle / family background
5- Education (or lack thereof)
6- Degree of inebriation
7- Emotional Connection to random stranger
8- Differential in Alphaness between boyfriend and strange (including fame, looks, absence of boyfriend)
9- The n count
10- The weather / Obamacare / the bitch who stole her ferrari / the guy who insulted her on the bus / 50 shades of gray / ovulation



An appropriate combination of any of the above factors in the right proportion may push a woman's buttons and cause her to cheat.

Does that mean one never gets into LTRs or marriages and lead the life of a single cad?
To each his own.

Either way, game is a lifesaver.

WIA,

First off, you're a fantastic poster and your insight is excellent.
Thanks for the advice.

She wanted to come back with me since I was leaving. I insisted that she stay and chill out with her friends.

Maybe I'm wrong, time will tell.

Hopefully though, I'll revisit this thread months later and tell you that everything's going good.

Thanks
Sharkie

My comments are not about her cheating.

This is about you losing your hold over her attention.

She didn't set out to cheat, but going home with you and sleeping your bed took 2nd place to hanging out at some party.

It wasn't always like that.

So while you're focused on curtailing opportunities for her to get fucked - i'm asking about whether or not she still has that burning desire to see you all the time and drop everything just to be around you.

We say that women want to be lead.
Yet we don't believe that women want to be lead all the time?

WIA

Quote: (10-10-2013 12:21 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

She didn't set out to cheat, but going home with you and sleeping your bed took 2nd place to hanging out at some party.

We say that women want to be lead.
Yet we don't believe that women want to be lead all the time?

WIA

The decision wasn't hers to make.

She was perfectly happy coming with me, sleeping did not take second place.
I had work to do, and so I left her there, in the presence of trusted friends.


Yet we don't believe that women want to be lead all the time?


Most of the times, yes.
All of the times, no. Its okay to let them make some of the small decisions in life, no?

All hand and no leeway makes Jack a bored dictator.

The real test will be how she handles the next time you voice some concerns about a guy.

Game- magnifying lens on human socio-sexual interaction.

One thing disturbs me here. Why did your girl say this guy was gay in the first place?

Quote: (10-10-2013 08:12 PM)dreambig Wrote:  

One thing disturbs me here. Why did your girl say this guy was gay in the first place?

It was an old rumor circulating from the time he was caught with his pants down with another mate on some ship.

delete

Quote: (10-10-2013 05:48 AM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  

Maybe the gay wanted you to fuck his ass.

WOW. . . .made me spit water out all on my keyboard. . .

Gay Guy Game

Quote: (10-10-2013 11:22 AM)Therapsid Wrote:  

Quote: (10-10-2013 10:09 AM)RougeNoir Wrote:  

Never let your LTR drink alcohol with other men especially at night and super-especially at night when you aren't there. Even "gay guys" become straight at will deploy their tactics to get your girl.

It's better if your gf doesn't even have gay friends in the first place.

It's a warning flag for bad behavior.

this
I had a GF with gay friends . Of course the friends are rivals with you for her attention and affection. She told me they undermined me and criticized me after I met them with her once--after smiling to my face.

Okay. Another update.

I don't work on Fridays, so spent the first half of the day at my girlfriend's place. Spoke about the incident a bit, but generally we're chilling. She cooked lunch, and we're down to dessert when the bell rings. She gets it, and its J. I'm in the dining room, so she calls out to me.

I walk into the hall, and the guy has a bouquet and a large I'm sorry card. "hey" I say sarcastically and walk right up to him.
He's nervously mutters something about an apology.
I stare at him with a blank face for 3-4 seconds, then ask him to get out.
He keeps the bouquet and card down, starts walking out.
As he's almost out the door, I call out to him.
"Oy rapist." He turns around. "Flowers" I say.
Comes back, takes the flowers and card, and slinks out.

I close the door, go back to the dining room without a word and finish the dessert. then I fuck my girlfriend.

the end