A weird title coming from a guy who's only 27...

I live near a university and find myself coming into contact with college girls a lot. When I do eventually land a date the age question quickly comes up and I have no idea how to handle it. It's one of the few things that really takes me off balance and I get nervous handling it. I've tried answering directly, answering vaguely, and even attempting to avoid the subject entirely, but none of it feels right. It seems to me that they feel uncomfortable doing something "weird" like dating men much more mature than them. I'm not even 30 and I'm starting to feel like a creepy old man!

Have any of you encountered this and how do you deal with this situation? Lately, I've been under the impression that if a girl is weirded-out by my age then it's a lost cause.

I'm pretty sure most young college girls will love that fact they're out with an older guy.

I've been through the same problem. the best thing you can do is say your real age without apologies or feeling bad about it.
A lot of young girls don't care about the age as long as you look good, and if they do you can overcome it with game.

This s not a problem. I'm 25, and I have GF who dates a 45 years old man. I was interested once in a 42 years old. And you are only 27. What is going wrong is you are insecure about it and it shows. Girls hate insecurityness

Being 27 and being insecure about being old is madness, what's wrong with people these days.

The problem is not with the girls, as a lot of girls date older man without feeling uncomfortable or weird.
However, if YOU are feeling uncomfortable/weird, then why don't you try girls your own age?

Make no apologies and plough on. It's a confidence problem, not an age problem.

Here's a good post by Roissy: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/t...ger-women/

And some thoughts on age brackets in general: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/08/12/t...e-bracket/

Quote: (04-11-2011 11:42 AM)Gringo Wrote:  

Being 27 and being insecure about being old is madness, what's wrong with people these days.

If he lives in the US, then it is understandable. This culture has a strange tendency to shame older men for looking at (nevermind dating) significantly younger women. Terms like "dirty old man", "creeper", "pedophile" and "child molester" are thrown around here quite a bit even without sufficient reason. This causes more guys to be insecure about dating younger women than there otherwise would be. Society bombards them with messages about how "predatory" it is to date someone significantly(around 10 years or so) younger than you.

Everybody here knows the reality of the matter-such relationships have practicality and are highly appealing to both genders. Women like the maturity/self-assuredness that comes from older men, and men love the appearance of younger women (fertility cues in abundance). But there is a strong trend within the US to try and ignore this elephant in the room. Men are shamed very strongly for dating away from a certain age range, and women here are cultured to try and ignore their instincts and limit their desire for men who are more than just a couple of years older than them(3-6 years is generally ok, you start to see shaming/complaints when the difference hits 10 years or more).

Compare this to other cultures, like Brazil(Mrs. Chocolate has already provided this example). In these places, the practicality of the relationship is simply acknowledged and allowed to be acted upon more freely by both parties. The US is one of the few places where there is such an abundance of this "age-gap" shaming. Obviously large age-gaps still appear in the US, but they're less common here than in other places. The bar is set a bit higher for older guys here who still seek younger women(read: you need more game than your Colombian counterpart).

That's my take on it, anyway.

Age-gap shaming is good to an extent. How's a strapping young buck to learn game if old geezers are poaching all the young birds?

Quote: (04-11-2011 11:42 AM)Gringo Wrote:  

Being 27 and being insecure about being old is madness, what's wrong with people these days.

It was never a problem with me until I tried grabbing younger girls. They're the ones who seemed to have a problem with it. At first I brushed it off but after receiving the same reactions several times I started to become self-conscious. Personally, I think it's pretty ridiculous to see online ads of girls who's dating range is only 3 years older than them.

Oh, and thanks, Caligula, for the "Age Bracket" link. Good observations. Got some good laughs.

Quote: (04-11-2011 01:16 PM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

If he lives in the US, then it is understandable. This culture has a strange tendency to shame older men for looking at (nevermind dating) significantly younger women.

I got pissed when I signed up for Plenty of Fish and went to do my first search and it auto-suggested women 35-45 for me. I'll start dating 35 year olds when I am in my 60s, thanks.

Anyway, I am concentrating solely on girls under 20 right now and they ask how old I am, so I tell them my actual age and it has never been a problem. I do get playful teasing for my greying hair, though.

A girl I was going out with had her birthday party recently There were no extra chairs so when her mom showed up I got up to offer my seat to her. She said "No thanks, you are older than me."

So not only do the girls not mind dating an older guy here, the mothers are cool with it too.

Younger girls care a lot about what their friends think.  Girls of that ageVwant a guy who'll be "socially approved" by her friends.

There's a lot of shaming involved for all the reasons Athlone elucidated above. The key is to find an "independent girl" whos free of that hive mentality, or find a girl who'll keep you on the down-low as a fuck friend. I'm 25 and have a 20 year old coming over for some discreet nightly bangs. College girls love a guy with his own pad, car and a professional career. Beats fucking in a dingy dorm with 6 roommates. 

That said, a boyish face will go a long way. If you can pass as an undergrad on campus and you're still getting carded, you're good to go.

I'm a 25 year old in a college town. How common are young professional guy-college girl pairings anyhow?  

Quote:Quote:

A weird title coming from a guy who's only 27...

I live near a university and find myself coming into contact with college girls a lot. When I do eventually land a date the age question quickly comes up and I have no idea how to handle it. It's one of the few things that really takes me off balance and I get nervous handling it. I've tried answering directly, answering vaguely, and even attempting to avoid the subject entirely, but none of it feels right. It seems to me that they feel uncomfortable doing something "weird" like dating men much more mature than them. I'm not even 30 and I'm starting to feel like a creepy old man!

Have any of you encountered this and how do you deal with this situation? Lately, I've been under the impression that if a girl is weirded-out by my age then it's a lost cause.

This is easy. When you come across a girl that clearly has issues with age, lie. You have to be able to "look" and "act" that part though. I've still managed to get numbers from and bang girls who originally told me I was too old for them, but lying is usually easier.

Quote: (04-11-2011 02:10 PM)Selva Wrote:  

So not only do the girls not mind dating an older guy here, the mothers are cool with it too.

Where do you live?

I'd gracefully avoid the topic and lie when necessary. Even though you could probably overcome the age difference by demonstrating higher value etc., I'd avoid the problem altogether. Why add additional objections and obstacles? Gaming chicks has enough built-in challenges.

Having said that, I'd echo what some of the other guys have said here: you need to shore up your inner game vis-a-vis your age. It's very easy to psyche yourself out by having even the slightest insecurity about your age creep into your mind. We've all struggled with something like this, and you have to actively work to eradicate it.

Age does seem to be a big "Thing" in the US. At 23 I'm considered to young, even by 22 and 23 year old girls. I dont know if its a daddy complex or just some bullshit idea that age == maturity but I've been blatantly told by girls who are my age, give or take one year, that I'm to young.

This is just speculation, but I think women constantly change what they want so that you arent it, so they can use that as leverage. For you , you're "too old" and she "doesn't normally date older guys" so now just by giving you the time of day she's doing you a favor, putting her in a position of power.

The "age issue" tends to be a problem in the USA, especially by younger girls (like college girls) since they care so much what their friends think. They don't want to be seen as dating the "old guy."

The advice I would give to the original poster is to avoid taking about your age or at least be ambiguous about it. Don't bring it up or just let her believe you are younger if necessary.

One good good answer to the age question is this:

Her: So, how old are you?
You: Guess.
Her: 23.
You: Good guess.

(Note, you just said good guess, not that she was right!)

I took this idea from Roissy, who I guess is used to dating much younger women.

at 27 you dont have an age problem. you are entering the sweet spot where you can bang anything w/in a 20 year range

Quote: (04-11-2011 05:03 PM)Easy E Wrote:  

The "age issue" tends to be a problem in the USA, especially by younger girls (like college girls) since they care so much what their friends think. They don't want to be seen as dating the "old guy."

One of reasons girls in latin america date older men is because they have more money... as an older guy (in latin ameirca) the perception is that you know how to handle money and most older guys do handle money better... they also know how to make money quicker... money is more scarce in latin america therefore its more valued... alot of guys in the USA think money could never trump game but the scarcer it gets the more value it will have... its supply and demand. Its good to have both... especially during these times. Anyway back to my point.

I think this trend will be changeing in the USA... with the teenage unemployment rate at record highs... the young people wont have the same options of accumilating capital and there will be a much poorer generation of young men who will fall short when competing with the older 30 plus crowd who have the capital, experience with women and aren't too old too take full advantage of it...

Quote:Quote:

at 27 you dont have an age problem. you are entering the sweet spot where you can bang anything w/in a 20 year range

Exactly what I was thinking, at 27 you're not too young to get an older women and not so old that younger girls will think you're some ageing pervert.

I'm 27 bro, and this is the perfect age actually. Ive fucked 20 year olds, all the way to damn near 40 yr olds.

Girls don't really care about your age as long as they are physically attracted to u.

If she is trippin on your age then she probably is really not that interested and is just using that as an excuse.

This "problem" exists entirely in your head.

25-45 are the prime of a males life.

You are only two years into it.

If you are having problems now, your career is going to be short like Leprechauns.

I have approached hundreds of college girls in the last few years.

Here is what I think about the whole age thing.

If you are 25 or younger. Its a non issue.

If you are 25-30, You still have a chance with about 50-60% of them. Alot of them will just think you are too old but...

AT LEAST HALF, IF NOT A LITTLE MORE, ARE VERY OPEN TO DATING A "SLIGHTLY" OLDER GUY. It all depends how smooth you play it.

If you are 30-35, around half are gonna think you are just a little too old for them. But that still leaves the other half that are open to dating the right "older" guy. You gotta be that smooth, sharp, confident older dude. And/Or find some type of connection with her that you can "exploit".

I have lied, I have told the truth, I have avoided the ?..

Lying is easy enough but the only thing that is weird is you always have to hide everything that has your birth date on it.

Telling the truth is always cool but its dangerous, once you tell her your age she will see you as that age and she might dismiss you before you have even had a chance to Game her.

Sometimes its best to avoid the ? and keep trying to build comfort and attraction.

Usually, I like to avoid the question as long as possible. I never bring it up. I try to build as much of a connection as possible before it ever comes up. Like I said, if you tell her to early, she might let that "number" get in the way of things. When she asks, I usually just tell the truth. Hopefully, I have built enough attraction that the "number" doesn't even matter to her.

I have developed a little routine where I tell the her...

"Don't you know? All undergrad girls need one older guy to kick it with. Sometimes its nice to just chill and not get all crazy and stupid like the 19yo idiots out here. I'm know you get sick of these young boys throwing up all over the place and acting like fools. I can't believe the older girls in school haven't told you this?! I thought everybody knew that! I normally don't talk to girls your age, but I guess I could make an exception"

Something like that.

Obviously, looks matter alot. If you are fat and balding and look 47, its gonna be tough to pull a co-ed. (but it happens)

Sometimes you can buy yourself some time by saying things like...

"I'm the perfect age to kick it with you"
"I bet i'm like 4 or 5 years older then you"
"I'm in my mid 20's" (if you are 24-29)
"Im 29ish" (30-36)
"I'm 30" (30-40)

Another key factor is which college girl you go after.

You gotta know how to choose "targets". If you go after the hot Swedish model who is fucking the starting quarterback, its a little harder maybe. But if you find the cute small town girl who keeps to herself, studies dance, and hits the library, you might have a better chance.

I like the ones who have a tight body but they don't really know how sexy and hot they are. If you are the guy that gets her to start to "feel sexy" for the first time, you are gonna be the older guy who is banging her.