In my last thread we discussed dating a bank teller who pulled my information from the bank's marketing database. That did not go well for anyone involved, though I was by far the least damaged in the end. I am glad all of it is over.

Now on to my next misadventure. This one actually involves contact with a vagina.

Last week I was introduced to a woman by a mutual friend. She is quite attractive, both in looks and personality. During our first date, she invited me visit her apartment after dinner.

After much entertaining banter and no alcohol, the event became physical and culminated with her enjoying orgasms upon my fingers. I am certain that we could have carried on to other things, but as with stealth fat girl over a year ago, I found myself looking for an out and taking leave of the situation.

This woman had very strong contractions during orgasm. This I have observed before, and it did not concern me. However, when orgasm occurred, as best I can describe, her birth canal collapsed upon my fingers, and through no particular effort on my part to go deeper, I was suddenly in contact with her cervix.

She also became incontinent. Because of the quantity of fluid to clean up afterward, I do not think that I could have possibly mistaken it for anything coming from the birth canal. She acted very casual about it, and I of course did not make an issue of it.

A third item I noticed was that I felt normal natural lubrication outside the birth canal, but it was not present inside and in fact it felt rough.

Whatever is going on anatomically with this woman is a total mystery to me. I am no player, but I have enough experience to know "normal". I am afraid that if we have sex something dramatic might happen that I am totally unprepared for, like her vagina falls out or something. I don't know if that's physically possible, but it's now this recurring nightmare that I can't get rid of.

This woman has made it very clear that she wants to see me again. I hope some of the more experienced members can provide some understanding, because I am at a total loss and cannot bring myself to search for "vagina prolapse" on the internet.

This is a funny story but your writing style is a bit wacky and it makes the story hard to understand.

Just write casually like you actually speak in real life.

This can’t be how you speak in real life...

So this chicks pussy basically squirted, contracted during orgasm, and sucked your fingers inward to her cervix or what?

Quote: (06-01-2018 05:48 PM)stefpdt Wrote:  

This is a funny story but your writing style is a bit wacky and it makes the story hard to understand.

Just write casually like you actually speak in real life.

This can’t be how you speak in real life...

I would guess that if I were evaluated by a psych, I would be told that I am mildly autistic. I am 40+ years old and would definitely attribute any success I've had with women to physical fitness and money (mid-level corporate engineer job but not a fat slob like my peers). My personality and communication skills have never been good though I have worked to improve. Some days when I am really tired (like today) things don't go well. I apologize if the post was difficult to understand.

Quote: (06-01-2018 05:51 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

So this chicks pussy basically squirted, contracted during orgasm, and sucked your fingers inward to her cervix or what?

Maybe that is what happened. I didn't think squirting worked like that, but I am no expert. I can certainly go try again and report back. She definitely wants to.

Surely you can smell the difference between vaginal lubrication and urine (I'm assuming when you say "incontinent" that she didn't literally shit herself).

I don't think there's many women in the world who would piss themselves on orgasm and not feel embarrassed or ashamed about it.

Was it a little Jewish brunette with big boobs in California? I encountered virtually the same phenomenon but I actually banged her. During intercourse it was as if she was using my cock as a punching bag for her cervix, then when I pulled out she voluntarily prolapsed what seemed like her entire uterus out of her vagina in addition to squirting. Shades of Alien for sure.

You don't stop fighting when you get a bloody nose, so bang on my friend.

Could it be a dude?

Just throwing it out there, not an expert on the scenario described by any stretch of the imagination.

I thought the story and the writing style is hilarious.

As for the real issue, I don't have any answers. I take it you weren't feeling comfortable "going in" so it's better that you didn't. But if you like her much, I'd say go on another date with her and see if you can get over that. Otherwise, next.

You describe female ejaculation with some vaginal fluids - nothing special - also nice description of her pussy in very medical terms.

And no offense OP - your writing style makes me think that you may look and speak like this Youtuber:




He is not a bad guy, but just slightly weird - so don't take it personally if I have outed you.

Squirtsville

I personally love OP's writing style and hopes that he continues to post elegant prose of the same nature.

This sounds like an Attenborough moment.

Quote: (06-01-2018 07:50 PM)2negative Wrote:  

Was it a little Jewish brunette with big boobs in California? I encountered virtually the same phenomenon but I actually banged her. During intercourse it was as if she was using my cock as a punching bag for her cervix, then when I pulled out she voluntarily prolapsed what seemed like her entire uterus out of her vagina in addition to squirting. Shades of Alien for sure.

I'm sure this is a fetish for someone out there. 50 Shades of Alien, we'll call it.

avoid this woman, she has a prolapsed situation. if I were you, I would disinfect your fingers with bleach or some shit

So you met a squirter for the first time. You flipped out because her pussy contracted, then you thought you'd dislodged her uterus with your tiny finger...

Well done.

Its becoming more common. Girls start banging out their vag with toys when they are 15 and order toys on their moms amazon prime account.

By college these girls can shoot a stream of water from their bed to the towel across their room. This obviously takes a lot of practice, but in this age grrrl power means shooting bigger loads further than all the boys, and this requires master manipulation of the vaginal walls. The cervix pushes down and they engage their deep abs to push the mons veneris into action.

This girl will be a great lay. Just wait til your dick is being milked by this Strange Vagina.

First squirter I met in college--fucking gorgeous girl I had been trying to get with for 2 semesters, I thought she had pissed on me and I left and never spoke to her again.

My loss.

Don't change your writing style OP, original post was great

Quote: (06-02-2018 09:04 PM)Wahawahwah Wrote:  

Don't change your writing style OP, original post was great

Not sure he has a choice in English.

Some women are squirters, which it sounds like this girl is. My first GF was probably "normal"? My wife, even as a virgin I'd feel her pussy contract, tighten and pulsate around my cock or fingers, it's been like that for 12 years.

Also remember that some women do have much smaller/shorter vaginas than others, just like dudes have small and big cocks. I'd bet money she's small and a squirter.

I'd say meet her again and have sex. Report back how it went, we're all very curious.

Strange vagina is the best kind of vagina there is... enjoy!

Quote: (06-01-2018 05:40 PM)MidJack Wrote:  

because I am at a total loss and cannot bring myself to search for "vagina prolapse" on the internet.

Oh c'monnnnnnnn.....live a little!

OP I think your writing style is hilarious.

I was cracking up reading it in an early 20th century upper class snobby British accent.

And that thread title.

10/10 would click again

Quote: (06-09-2018 04:24 AM)Winston Wolfe Wrote:  

OP I think your writing style is hilarious.

I was cracking up reading it in an early 20th century upper class snobby British accent.

And that thread title.

10/10 would click again

Haha yes, he would be a great click-bait copywriter!