How would you respond to this epic shit test?

I've had a chick really say this to me. I subconsciously felt like she was a whore after that and the relationship fell apart eventually.

Quote: (07-29-2016 07:19 PM)genevincent Wrote:  

How would you respond to this epic shit test?

I've had a chick really say this to me. I subconsciously felt like she was a whore after that and the relationship fell apart eventually.

Walk out. Delete number.

Needs more context. Did she just blurt this out of nowhere? Or were you having a discussion about sex?

You should probably just leave. There's no coming back from that one. That girl is obviously a bitch and not worth your time at all. Almost no response would blow through this shit test, but there are a few responses I can think of that would pair well with a brisk exit.

"that's not what your sister said last night"
"yeah i have to special order extra small condoms from north korea"
"in most cultures it's considered weird to fuck horses"
"hmm you figure you would've been able to fit the whole thing in your mouth then, huh"

I would probably just say "that's rude" or even "wow that's a really bitchy thing to say" or "you must've had really bad parents to have such poor manners" and leave without engaging in any fruther conversation.

Quote: (07-29-2016 08:38 PM)Switch Wrote:  

"that's not what your sister said last night"
"yeah i have to special order extra small condoms from north korea"
"in most cultures it's considered weird to fuck horses"
"hmm you figure you would've been able to fit the whole thing in your mouth then, huh"

I guess this is my fault.

I do sometimes feel bad for the next guy.

"I can understand. You are so wide you can fit a Mack Truck."

"Ah. You must practice the art of fisting"

You're not the tightest I ever had .
Don't jeopardize your self-worth , she didn't respect you , your counter-attack must be devastating .

"And you're not the best I've ever had".

Turns the perspective (and her hamster) to one of quality v quantity, and we all know what everyone prefers in the end.

No to all of the above.

You need to ask her for a re-do and then take a huge long piss while inside her. She will storm out in a hurry, looking like one of those 2L diet coke bottles they fill with mentos and throw on the concrete.

Did she say this unsolicited? Or did you ask her how you rate?

If a girl feels it's ok to make a statement like this unsolicited then she gives zero shits, and you lost well before that point.

"So that's why you felt so loose"

Quote: (07-29-2016 07:25 PM)FireStarter Wrote:  

Needs more context. Did she just blurt this out of nowhere? Or were you having a discussion about sex?

I was jokingly bragging about my sexual prowess and she just kinda threw that out there.

Admittedly I kind of walked into that one. Still stung though.

A comment like that removes her from LTR consideration, make a note and act accordingly.

The stuff that bothers you at 25 is going to look like comic strips at 45.

I once had this said to me by a totally hot 20-year-old ex-cheerleader I was dating at 25. It really, really bugged me and the relationship went wrong soon after.

Looking back now, I realize this was a mistake. There is only a brief period most of us have to tap young girls (at least tap them easily). Here is how I look at that situation today: "Who cares what she said?!?! I was fucking a 8 who was 20!! She was hot as hell!!! If I could do that now, she could say I had no dick at all and that I smelled bad and looked like Danny DeVito and I wouldn't care!!"

Let me put this another way. Go to OKCupid. Now closely look at all the women in their forties in your region. Then think about having to 1). Spend money on them; 2). Try to get it up for them; 3). Put up with them for long periods of time; 4). Put up with their kids or multiple cats; or 5). Possibly have to bury your head in their sour, aging crotches.

Then think to yourself: What's worse? THAT living hell or a nice-looking younger girl who has dick-fetish issues or just likes to be a pain in the ass? I choose the latter.

(PS: Judging by the tenor of "his" posts, I still think genevincent is a troll -- and a female one at that. The info that I dropped is for the rest of you younger guys. You won't be young forever. Getting perspective from older men can make problems like these seem a lot smaller. I wish I'd had some at 25.)

It could be a nuclear shit test. Dont sound butt hurt. Ignore it.

Quote: (07-29-2016 11:49 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Let me put this another way. Go to OKCupid. Now closely look at all the women in their forties in your region. Then think about having to 1). Spend money on them; 2). Try to get it up for them; 3). Put up with them for long periods of time; 4). Put up with their kids or multiple cats; or 5). Possibly have to bury your head in their sour, aging crotches.

I was interested in banging a 40-something MILF of OKC, but I think I've already ground through all the talent in a 100 mile radius. There were about 10 I felt were bangable in a metro area of around 3 million people. I've either messaged or been on dates that went nowhere with all of them.

I'm headed towards 40. Makes me worried about the future...

Quote:Quote:

Looking back now, I realize this was a mistake. There is only a brief period most of us have to tap young girls (at least tap them easily). Here is how I look at that situation today: "Who cares what she said?!?! I was fucking a 8 who was 20!! She was hot as hell!!! If I could do that now, she could say I had no dick at all and that I smelled bad and looked like Danny DeVito and I wouldn't care!!"

Yeah. Coming from my late 30s, girls in their 20s-early 30s say so much stupid shit that it's sometimes hard to get up the energy to be miffed about any of it. She's taken thirty cocks before you, statistically speaking it's unlikely you're the biggest she's ever had. She's simply making a statement of mathematical fact.

I guarantee you that if you ask a girl, any Western girl, that you've just fucked "Am I the biggest you've ever had?" she's going to say "No way! There was Sully from back in college and..." She has to as a defense mechanism, to make sure you don't think she values you more than you do her, even if it isn't true. This girl's only fault is that she volunteered the information without being questioned, I guess.

Quote:Quote:

I was jokingly bragging about my sexual prowess and she just kinda threw that out there.

Wait, nope, you did prompt it. Disregard, it's simply a defense mechanism. They can't answer any different. To admit a guy is special? Worse than death. A girl will always find a way to tell you that she's encountered someone, somewhere out there that's better at whatever is under discussion than you are. You've got a PhD? She once dated a guy with three. It's like that Kristen Wiig sketch on SNL...they have to top it.






When she asks you to wife her up or co-habitate, you can laugh at her at that point.

I'd say it's a fairly good segue into putting it in her butt.

Quote: (07-29-2016 11:49 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

The stuff that bothers you at 25 is going to look like comic strips at 45.

I once had this said to me by a totally hot 20-year-old ex-cheerleader I was dating at 25. It really, really bugged me and the relationship went wrong soon after.

Looking back now, I realize this was a mistake. There is only a brief period most of us have to tap young girls (at least tap them easily). Here is how I look at that situation today: "Who cares what she said?!?! I was fucking a 8 who was 20!! She was hot as hell!!! If I could do that now, she could say I had no dick at all and that I smelled bad and looked like Danny DeVito and I wouldn't care!!"

Let me put this another way. Go to OKCupid. Now closely look at all the women in their forties in your region. Then think about having to 1). Spend money on them; 2). Try to get it up for them; 3). Put up with them for long periods of time; 4). Put up with their kids or multiple cats; or 5). Possibly have to bury your head in their sour, aging crotches.

Then think to yourself: What's worse? THAT living hell or a nice-looking younger girl who has dick-fetish issues or just likes to be a pain in the ass? I choose the latter.

(PS: Judging by the tenor of "his" posts, I still think genevincent is a troll -- and a female one at that. The info that I dropped is for the rest of you younger guys. You won't be young forever. Getting perspective from older men can make problems like these seem a lot smaller. I wish I'd had some at 25.)

Please tell us that you are age trolling?

What about those posts "you can always go for young poon whatever your own age"?

Oh, this one. There will always be someone bigger than you. Accept it.

Like the bodybuilding standard "You're nice the size you are" / "You don't want to be TOO big", I suspect this is about a fear of losing you if you realise you could do better than her due to your virility. It's an attempt to make you think you're lucky to have access to her, so she'll use Size to attack, because, no matter how big a guy is, he'll still never think he's big enough.

I've always wanted to come out with this, just to see what happens.

"And you're not the prettiest I've ever had. Yet here we both are, rolling in the mud together, lacking better options. So, are we going to fuck or not?"

I think you'd need Forney levels of Sarcasm to pull something like that off.

Realistically though, the worst thing you can do is react negatively to this. If women are trying to wound you emotionally, that's them showing that they're in love with you enough to be starting to fear losing you. They do this by testing the situation, deliberately pushing you away to see if you abandon them. They'll say the most vicious and hurtful things to you out of love. How else would they know your love is true and can weather any storm? Bang enough girls and, trust me, you'll hear far worse than this.

If they're trying to destroy you and burn everything down around both you and her, that means they're angry at themselves for ever loving you because they're so deeply hurt, which means punishing you and punishing herself.

If they don't care enough to do either, they've already mentally moved on. If you're in a relationship at this stage, she's cheating on you.

Get the idea? So when she cares enough to be attempting to prick your ego, refuse to be popped. You need to reply, right away, without missing a beat. One thing that seems to eternally-niggle at women is the Cocky Male Ego, when they're so neurotic and insecure. They're deeply-envious of this. That's why they project and label men's ego as 'Fragile'.

Remember, what she said didn't phase you one bit, and, really, it genuinely-shouldn't.

If she's got a sense of humour and you're used to some amount of playground teasing with each other, just do the metaphorical raise of the quizzical eyebrow at her by saying, very dryly, something like "So, you want to try the fist next time, or what?"

or

"So, you're a 'Quantity, not Quality' girl? Do you think 'All You Can Eat' is better than Fine Dining?"

I usually just dial up the cockiness even further. I favour this kind of approach: "Yeah, I've heard that before. Yet, I was the guy they were always calling for more. What can I say?" [aww shucks grin]

If you want to go the darker route, and she's a natural Drama Queen, and the relationship is a constant seesaw between screaming fury and makeup sex, trigger the hamster. This means, saying some mysterious, like "So I've heard..." then vacating the vicinity as quickly as possible so she can't probe you for exactly what you meant by that.

Remember, the less you emotionally-react to crap, the more masculine and therefore attractive you'll seem to her.

It kinda boggles my mind how much discussion is going on about this.

Unless a chick is responding to a direct question you are asking (which you shouldn't be asking in the first place), there is ZERO positive or justified reason for her to say something like this.

This is like calling out the young female family member at the Thanksgiving table that everyone knows is physically very ugly but no one dares uses said ugliness as an insult during an argument; it's a below the belt shot. You have to be a real asshole and/or stupid to say such a thing.

In this case, either the woman is a cunt and/or stupid. It's sort of like chicks who sell the good girl routine but are too stupid/arrogant and let the cat outta of the bang by referencing, sometimes very subtlety, past sexual escapades that conflict with their present image. I just don't entertain this kind of bullshit anymore.

Obviously, I don't like women who are cunts and/or stupid. If you guys want to use witty comebacks to continue to hang out with the aforementioned types of women, that's your call I suppose. But I prefer to use my limited time to game non-stupid pleasant women when possible. To each and their own.

While AB's explanation might just be true, there's just no way of knowing, especially if we haven't heard the tone, seen the mimic, witnessed the situation before it and know about the way your relationship was structured. I wouldn't try to interpret her dumb statements by thinking meanders.
Maybe she was just trying to tease you.
Maybe she wanted to actually hurt you.
Maybe she just stated the facts without thinking about the consequences for you.
There's no sure way of knowing.

If a girl said this to me, I wouldn't care one bit as long as I was fucking her. But I'd take a mental note to not get attached or plan LTRs.
I would've just said "That must suck for you." and moved on with business. AB's "So I've heard..." was brilliant in that it also shows that you don't care but with the added zinger to make her hamster spin a little. Your indifference should be genuine if possible/not come off as forced/pretending.

Depending on the situation, you could've also said with a grin "Many women demand 8 inches, but choke on 5 - case in point."

Given OPs context, just laughing it off probably is best. This comment no longer seems malicious or extremely shit-testy, it seems like just some back and forth teasing between you two. Laugh and move along. Probably does take her out of the running for any sort of LTR, however.

Quote: (07-30-2016 03:35 AM)Requiem Wrote:  

While AB's explanation might just be true, there's just no way of knowing, especially if we haven't heard the tone, seen the mimic, witnessed the situation before it and know about the way your relationship was structured. I wouldn't try to interpret her dumb statements by thinking meanders.

True point. I've been with a lot of women and tend to be guilty of aggregating collected experience to predict the most likely scenario based upon the similarity between multiple women's behaviour. They're incredibly-similar. I was basing my reply on the level of emotional injury OP seems to have received from the incident, where it sounds like there's wasn't a pre-existing level of shit-talking inherent in the relationship if he was that cut up by it. The alternative is that he is just a pussy, so I erred on the side of not being a dick about it.

I was thinking about an old girlfriend with Legendary Tits over the last two days who could give it back almost as good as she got. She was a Gen Xer like me - the classic Daria type/ A comment like that from her I would have taken as just as part as our natural back and forth.

In my early 20's, I ran into her at a party with my new girlfriend. She looked at my girlfriend's face, then down to her large chest, then looked at her own massive rack.

"Well," she said, "That settles the question as to whether Bosch is a leg or a breast man."

I laughed.

My girlfriend squeezed my shoulder: "Ooh, I like her."

Note that this sort of thing is fun in your twenties, but as I've aged, a sweet nature has become the most seductive feminine force that exists for me.

This is the nuke of all shit tests / wounding tactics.

Aggressive comeback whilst not appearing to be flustered is the way forward here.

"You are not the tightest or most talented I've had either" should suffice.

Her : you are not the biggest I have ever had.

Playful nonchalant me: that is not what your mom said.