How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Printable Version

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Gyro - 06-13-2016

I'm talking about before the period of time humans developed a method of communication; back when we grunted and pointed at shit.

How the hell do you think game worked backed then? was it just grunts, seductive eye contact, and then shit went down? Was it within the tribe or was it inter-tribal?

I just can't imagine it being like it is today; no way a caveman "cold approached" some other cavewoman and then started grunt-teasing her loin-cloth.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - porscheguy - 06-13-2016

I assume the mating ritual began by smashing her caveman's head in with a rock or a stick.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Paracelsus - 06-13-2016

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - cascadecombo - 06-13-2016

This dude obviously has no idea about cavemaning a chick.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Paracelsus - 06-13-2016

Quote: (06-13-2016 10:43 PM)porscheguy Wrote:  

I assume the mating ritual began by smashing her caveman's head in with a rock or a stick.

This ritual survives today, known by the term 'divorce'.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Scoundrel - 06-13-2016

Rape Culture.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - GlobalMan - 06-13-2016

Please direct these and other important questions to the JohnBozzz thread

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Mark Fletcher - 06-13-2016

Assuming you're serious, I think the obvious guess would be the biggest and strongest got laid, the rest did without. I saw a statistic somewhere else on the forum that I can't find right now that said something like 80% of women throughout history have reproduced, but only 30-40% of men or somewhere around that number. You were alpha or you didn't mate.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - FireStarter - 06-13-2016

They had solid club game...



Rare footage of the caveman mating ritual:

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Chrome - 06-13-2016

Step 1: Acquire the biggest and best cave you can find
Step 2: Wait for cavedigger chicks to drop by to "check out your new digs"
Step 3: Profit

They didn't have a bedpost to add notches, so they just scraped pictures of their conquests on the wall.

For a more scientific explanation, read The Naked Ape: A Zoologist's Study of the Human Animal by Desmond Morris.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - MiscBrah - 06-13-2016

I don't know lets ask one

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Liberty Sea - 06-13-2016

Hair dragging game. Do it properly.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - AntiMediocrity - 06-14-2016

Same way animals mate. Exhibit characteristics attractive to the female, female gives signs of interest and they go at it. Next question.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Sidney Crosby - 06-14-2016

Did Adam game Eve with apple game? (Johnbozz)

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Ethan Hunt - 06-14-2016

Quote: (06-14-2016 12:46 AM)Sidney Crosby Wrote:  

Did Adam game Eve with apple game? (Johnbozz)

Apple game is very interesting. You have many types of apples, cooking apples and non cooking apples. I'd suggest you use a non cooking apple. With apple game you need more than one apples and the idea is you got to knock her out with said apples. Throw apples at her head and one will make her faint. That is when you go in for the kill so to speak. That JB is how to apple game.


To answer OP my best guesses is what has already been said, be alpha or don't reproduce. There is a very good reason why a lot of our psychology stems from evolution from those times. Take AA as an example back in caveman days there was a very real threat that if you go to another tribe to get laid that they could kill you. AA nowadays has no real reason to exist but it does due to evolution.

It always explains why women are more attracted to alpha male who can protect as there was in caveman days a very real threat of being killed by another tribe or some giant hungry animal. So when it came to game it was be bigger, stronger and able to protect the most. I'm not exactly sure of exact methods but i'm sure it involves actual pick up, i.e. walking over to a chick, picking her up literally and walking off.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Suits - 06-14-2016

Given that non-lingual cavemen would have certainly shared shelter and slept close together on cold nights, a truly alpha human-ancestor would have probably found pussy snuggled up close to him late in the evening with little effort or grunting on his part. This goes double for any time that predators or external threats were near.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - AneroidOcean - 06-14-2016

Of course suits would suggest that it was all party host game.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - [email protected] - 06-14-2016

OP never heard of lawless game.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Centurion - 06-14-2016

Quote: (06-14-2016 01:23 AM)Ethan Hunt Wrote:  

Take AA as an example back in caveman days there was a very real threat that if you go to another tribe to get laid that they could kill you. AA nowadays has no real reason to exist but it does due to evolution.

It always explains why women are more attracted to alpha male who can protect as there was in caveman days a very real threat of being killed by another tribe or some giant hungry animal. So when it came to game it was be bigger, stronger and able to protect the most. I'm not exactly sure of exact methods but i'm sure it involves actual pick up, i.e. walking over to a chick, picking her up literally and walking off.

I don't think that's true or the main factor behind AA. The biggest reason to me is guys from Anglo countries, can be tall, jacked, smart(relative to the rest of the world), well nourished, decently rich/enough resources etc. But they still have massive AA. But apparently guys from SA countries or Mediterranean countries despite being short, not as jacked, dumb, sometimes malnourished, broke etc still have zero hesitation when talking to even hot girls. This evo psych theory would say it's impossible as it's really "dangerous".

I believe AA is mainly caused by feminist societies, but maybe other factors might be involved too. I think in Anglo countries even 2-3 generations ago guys weren't scared to talk to women.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - CynicalContrarian - 06-14-2016

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - The Beast1 - 06-14-2016

Wadafuq is AA?

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - weambulance - 06-14-2016

Approach anxiety, I think.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - 2Wycked - 06-14-2016

How far back are we really talking? Before the patriarchy was invented or the gender binary was created? You need to be more specific in your time frame otherwise we are just grasping at straws here.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Glaucon - 06-14-2016

Watch how monkeys do it.

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How the fuck did cavemen get laid? - Tayo - 06-14-2016

The same way Gorillas, Baboons, Monkeys and other primates get laid.

Quote: (06-13-2016 10:38 PM)Gyro Wrote:  

I'm talking about before the period of time humans developed a method of communication; back when we grunted and pointed at shit.

How the hell do you think game worked backed then? was it just grunts, seductive eye contact, and then shit went down? Was it within the tribe or was it inter-tribal?

I just can't imagine it being like it is today; no way a caveman "cold approached" some other cavewoman and then started grunt-teasing her loin-cloth.

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