Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Printable Version

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - DarkTriad - 02-17-2017

Quote: (01-14-2017 06:10 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

Quote: (01-14-2017 01:02 PM)AceP Wrote:  

For comparison mate,

I've studied (in theory) game for 3-4 years. Only been activity applying it for...5 months actively-ish. And I've got results, safe to say I have a 90% success rate in opening girls for numbers or insta-date. Translating to a over 60% at least.

I did everything without a mentor too. I study everything online, and self-practice. To be fair, I'm probably 8 in terms of attractiveness, I'm a musician/trader, workout 2x a week, confident with my finances. And my biggest problem is STILL approach anxiety even tho I ALREADY KNOW there's almost no way an attractive young successful guy gets rejected (assume I opened nicely)

But if you've been doing this for like 10years with ZERO approach anxiety. Hell. I think your techniques are wrong.

Post that video and we'll review your technique, or better get a 1-1 coach

Are you saying you're success ratio from open to sex is 2 out of 3 girls? I guess Mick Jagger would be jealous...

Hey, it's plausible, after some hard work and some good golf tips, I now get a Hole In One 60% of the time. Let me sell you my ebook, and I'll show you how....

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-17-2017

Alright guys, I want to make another major post here... It's not an "update" per se, because not much has happened since the last one. But I want to talk about where I am, generally, and where to go from here.

It's been almost 3 years since I posted my original 3000-Approach-Troll introduction. I still remember sitting there, on the edge of my seat, wondering if I'd get banned before I had the chance to say it's really real. I remember the props I got, once you all realized it was real. I remember applying for the jobs in China, and announcing I was moving, and all the moral support you gave me in my quest. Good times.

And I definitely feel like I'm a "different person." Obviously I'm still me, but the way I think about all this is very different. I now know that dating is possible. Sex is possible. From attractive girls. I haven't thought about suicide since I first moved here, 2 and a half years ago. I haven't been depressed at all. Whenever I feel the slightest depressive feeling coming on, I realize that I'm living in the "land of opportunity", where people respect me and want to hire me, where girls consider me a candidate for romance, where random people walk up to me on the street to take selfies with me because I'm some kind of celebrity. I feel the ability to take charge of life, and make things happen, which, for whatever reason, I didn't feel in the USA.

But at the same time, I don't feel like I've made THAT much progress, specifically in the realm of women, dating, and sex. Sure, I have a full-time job for the first time in my life, and I've held onto it for over a year. That's an accomplishment. I dated several girls, and had sex with a few of them. That's an accomplishment. I've climbed mountains (literally). All this stuff makes me feel powerful, effective, potent, and free. I feel like a man.

But I still haven't had a satisfying sexual experience.

Speaking in purely anatomical terms, I've had sex about 15 times. That's about a dozen times with Rich Girl, and 3 times with Russian Girl. I also slept with Filipina Girl, for 2 months straight, and made out with her, but we didn't have sex because she's saving that for marriage.

That's not much, man.

15 times in 2 and a half years? Sure, 3 years ago I would have been thrilled that it's possible. But knowing something is POSSIBLE isn't the same thing as actually experiencing it. And for all intents and purposes, I don't feel like I've had sex.

I still feel like a virgin.

Granted, a virgin who knows he CAN have sex, and is confident in himself. But a virgin nonetheless.

Even those 15 times weren't fun. I wasn't relaxed. I wasn't into it. I was still stuck way up in my cerebrum, thinking in analytical terms about the correct way to do it, the appropriate moment to touch her, the right place to touch her, the right amount of pressure to put on her skin, the correct angle and direction to move my hand once it's touching, the right time to put my dick in, the correct speed, how to gradually increase the intensity of thrusting so it builds in a kind of crescendo like a good movie, the right things to say, the right volume to say it at, which positions to use in which order, whether or not I should play with her tits DURING fucking or just before it, how long to fuck before allowing myself to cum, and so on.

When you're thinking, you're not in the part of your brain that deals with sex. I did not have fun. The experiences were mildly pleasurable. There was a bit of pleasure. I compare it to one of those head-scratcher thingies that you see sold at kiosks in malls - you know the things with the bendable metal tentacles that you use to massage your scalp, and they're like $19.99? Those things produce a sensation of mild pleasure. And that's about the level of pleasure that my sexual experiences produced for me.

And when you weigh that very small pleasure against the massive amount of thinking and calculating and analyzing and brain-power that I was using to navigate the experience, it almost seems like it wasn't worth it. In fact, none of the experiences were anything that I would have liked to repeat. If I had the chance to re-live any of those experiences, I would say no. They were like doing calculus homework, or doing air traffic control. No thank you. The mild tickle of pleasure wasn't worth it.

So.... like.... why? What's going on?

Just to get this out of the way, I HAVE thought about the possibility that it's because of let's say, a different "orientation." But there's a major flaw in that explanation. In order to be homosexual, you have to be attracted to men. And I'm not. There has not been one man, that I've ever seen, that I thought "damn, I'd like to get me a piece of that." Not one. Not in my whole life. Not while drunk, not while high, not while tripping, not once, not ever. And I'm extremely attracted to women. To the point of building my entire life around overcoming the inability to get with them. I remember, back in high school, a really hot girl walking by my desk, and since it was a crowded room, she stood there for several seconds... and just being so close to her gave me an erection, and I had it for the rest of the class, and when she walked by me again, I almost had an orgasm. I remember in college, staring at another really hot girl for an entire class period, almost creaming in my pants, and then running (literally) back to my dorm as soon as the bell rang, to masturbate to her image. I remember ACTUALLY having an orgasm by sitting next to an extremely hot chick on the bus. This type of stuff happened ALL THE TIME in college. It drove me crazy. It's obvious that my orientation is not the issue here.

So what the hell is it?

Another explanation: My partners just weren't right. I had very little in common with Rich Girl. Almost nothing, actually. There wasn't chemistry. We didn't "hit it off." It was nothing like that. It was just a matter of her wanting to see what dating a foreigner was like... and me wanting to see what dating a PERSON was like... so we did. I remember caressing her hot body, thinking to myself "Gosh, I'm sooooo fucking cool." And she was probably thinking something similar. But there was no connection - neither emotional nor physical. We did the act, anatomically speaking, but there wasn't much emotion or chemistry behind it.

Same thing for Filipina Girl. She was lonely in Bangkok. She was inexperienced at dating. We were happier together than apart. So added to each other's lives, more than we subtracted. So it was logical for us to stick together, for a little while. But again, no chemistry.

Then, with Russian Girl, there was more connection, A LOT more. I connected with her in a way that was LEAGUES beyond any of the others. However... the connection was spiritual, and emotional - but not PHYSICAL. It had 2 of the 3.

What are they called... umm... Agape... Philos... Eros...
With Rich Girl and Filipina Girl, I had Philos.
With Russian Girl, I had Philos and Agape.
But I haven't experienced Eros with anyone. Ever.
I mean, I've experienced one-sided eros, with me attracted to them. But never a mutual erotic experience.

So I'm looking for another partner (obviously). But I've lost confidence - not in MY ability to GET a partner, but in a partner's ability to SATISFY me. I look at the chicks around me, and here's what I think, my inner dialogue:

"She looks nice. She's pretty hot. Nice figure. Cute. Decent style."
"Yea, but she has nothing in common with me. If I got with her, it would be the same story as before. A warm body, multi-variant calculus homework, no passion, and friendly breakup after a few weeks."
"Yea but it's better than NOTHING, isn't it?"
"Well yea, that's true. I am happier when I have a girlfriend, there's no doubt about that, but tell me this, inner self: Why HER? Like why THIS girl, specifically?"
"Does it matter? If she improves my life, then why worry?"
"Because I need to put effort into her. I can't just roll up and be like, hey, let's go to my place and fuck baby! There's COURTSHIP involved. This isn't an Anglo country - this is Asia. China. The red one. One of the most traditional countries remaining on Earth. They still do courtship here. I've got to take her on dates and stuff like that. Getting a girlfriend here isn't just a matter of rolling up to the club with bling and spitting game, and then taking her home and banging - it's a process."
"So do the process then."
"Sure, I'm willing to do the process, I have no problem with taking a girl out to dinner, spending some money (I have some of that stuff now), and sending smiley emojis and heart emojis to her on messenger several times a day. I did that with the others. I'm fine with that."
"So what's the problem?"
"The problem is I obviously can't do that with more than one girl at a time. I mean, there are only 7 nights in a week, and I'm not taking 7 girls out, one each night of the week. How am I going to keep track of them all? How am I supposed to juggle romance with a bunch of girls all at the same time? My messenger app would be fucking unmanageable. Beeping every 2 minutes, from a bunch of girls all sending me emojis. It would be fucking stressful as fuck! And what do I say when they ask me why I'm not available on Thursday? Do I say it's because I have a date with another girl? And another, and another? This is crazy."
"Ok, so then just date ONE girl. What's so bad about that?"
"Fine, but WHICH fucking girl do I date?"
"Any!"
"That's not an answer."
"Ok, date whatsername. The one who I met at that bar that time, that I took to that restaurant near the university."
"Why? What reason? What do I have in common with her?"
"Well, she likes fish. And rice. And I like fish and rice too. What could go wrong?"
"That is NOT enough commonality to date someone - to invest time, money, energy, and hope for a relationship. Haven't my past unsatisfying relationships proven that I need more in common with someone, or else the whole thing is barely even worth it?"
"Hmmm.... that's a good point."
"So, what now?"
"I dunno. You got me. Let's ask the ROK dudes."

Guys, what do I do? And I'm asking this in the most basic, fundamental level possible. This isn't a question about game. This is a question about, like... what the fuck is romance? What the fuck is sex?

Do I look for girls around me, and find the best one in my immediate vicinity?
Do I look for qualities that I enjoy, and find a girl who matches them?
Do I discern which girl is interested IN ME, and just take what I get?
Do I put ads on dating sites, with a global match capability, looking for my one true soulmate?
Do I chop the head off a chicken, and date whichever girl the chicken drops nearest to?

I mean, I don't know what the fuck to do.

3 years ago, I knew what I wanted, and it was just a matter of HOW.
I wanted to reduce the distance between my skin and the skin of females, ultimately to a value of zero. And I couldn't fucking figure out how to do it. Then I moved over here, and over a course of a couple of years, I've now developed the confidence in my ability to do that.
So the problem is no longer a HOW question - it's become a WHAT question.
I don't know WHAT to do.

And to tell you the truth, I'm starting to go a little off my rocker again. It's not as bad as 3 years ago - I'm not contemplating going Rodger. Nothing like that at all. But I'm starting to have MGTOW-type thoughts. Sometimes I think about just ditching women altogether, ditching romance, dating, and sex altogether, and just being kind of asexual. Maybe if I never ever think about sex, it will just go away.

And this thinking breaks my heart every time I think it. I don't want to do that. It's pathetic. It's quitting. Not just quitting some inconsequential hobby, but giving up the one, central, most important aspect of being human, of being alive. If sexuality disappears, then what the fuck is a person even alive for? Fuck that.

It's also impossible to do that. Sex never goes away. Repression doesn't eliminate it - it just makes it darker and more twisted.

MGTOW is not an option. It's retarded. It's the most absurd shit in the world. A proton will NEVER stop seeking an electron.

But I got no clue what to do.

I'm not asking you to solve my problems... but if you have any insight, it would be greatly appreciated. Don't hold back.

Thanks again.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Chowder Head - 02-17-2017

Holy shit! I didn't notice thegreenman was posting again.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Sketness - 02-17-2017

@thegreenman

To be honest you sound like a meserible cunt. Just reading this you don't even sound like a chill guy to hangout with (let alone fuck).You really need to set dateing aside and work on your overall personality. I think when you fix your enteral issues your dateing issues will resolve themselves

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - PapayaTapper - 02-17-2017

@thegreenman

You're giving entirely too much "weight" to the sex act....(almost like a woman does)

If you're hungry do you agonize over whether the last meal you had was fulfilling and whether or not the next meal will make you "complete"? Of course not

Sex, like eating, is just another part of the human experience. Some "meals" are just sandwiches and some are (can be) 3 Michelin star events ...But your sample size is still waaaay too small.

The good news is that as a man the more sex partners you have the better you get at having sex partners and guess what? (changing metaphors)...Your pee pee isn't a bar of soap that's going to get used up...so stop whining, get out there, use it some more

So you've had a couple lame "sandwiches"...so what?

To continue the "meal" metaphor...You need to keep "eating"...the more meals you have the more likely you are to find a really satisfying tasty dish that hits the spot.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Ringo - 02-17-2017

Quote: (02-17-2017 12:26 PM)Sketness Wrote:  

@thegreenman

To be honest you sound like a meserible cunt. Just reading this you don't even sound like a chill guy to hangout with (let alone fuck).You really need to set dateing aside and work on your overall personality. I think when you fix your enteral issues your dateing issues will resolve themselves

Lol'ed hard. It's true though. Greenman, you sound like the most neurotic, fidgety guy.

I've said it on the previous page but I'll say it again - you're a top 1% ovethinker. Might be 0.1%.

You need to quit living in your head and start living in your body. Enjoy the moment, feel the wind on your face.

I'm short on time so I can't expand right now, but there's two things that completely changed me in that regard: doing ayahusaca and training BJJ. If you're interested I can write about it later.

Another thing - you had sex 15 times in your life, man. Besides prostitutes, you have two notches. A few months ago you wanted to marry a chick you now say you had no chemistry with. You haven't even scratched the surface of what sex, love and relationships are. Stop rushing things.

Sketness has a point - if you were a cool guy, would you want to hang out with you? What if you were a valuable girl?

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-17-2017

Quote: (02-17-2017 12:26 PM)Sketness Wrote:  

@thegreenman

To be honest you sound like a meserible cunt. Just reading this you don't even sound like a chill guy to hangout with (let alone fuck).You really need to set dateing aside and work on your overall personality. I think when you fix your enteral issues your dateing issues will resolve themselves

Lol. Well, I did say be honest. Can't blame you for that.

I definitely agree with your last sentence. It's obviously internal issues, and I didn't at all mean to imply I thought it wasn't. I mean clearly, at the risk of sounding like a California valley girl, I've "got issues" surrounding sex, girls, and socializing. What those issues are, and why I have them, and how to get rid of them... well, that's what we're here for.

But I think you're somewhat off regarding what type of issues they are. Neurosis? Yea. But not the douchebag kind. Not the kind that makes other people miserable. That's how I USED to be, before I started traveling. I WAS the guy who makes sure nobody at the party can have fun if he isn't.

However, that is different now. I've been told this, directly, by friends who I've known forever, when we manage to catch each other awake at the same time for a phonecall: They say I sound way more chill. They tell me living over here has changed my personality for the better.

What you'd see now, if you were to come over to China, come to where I am, and hang out with me, is a guy who is extremely eccentric, yet eternally good-humored, fun, funny, and constantly unpredictable. In short, an interesting person - one of those kinds that you haven't seen anywhere else, you cannot for the life of you figure out what's going on with, but you're always laughing and having a good time if you're in the presence of. Almost like a comical mad scientist, or explorer who's been living in the Congo for years without seeing anyone, but for some reason is warm and funny and good-spirited.

I do good things. I take care of people. I put time and energy into helping confused travelers find what they're looking for. You wouldn't catch me bitter. I learned not to betray even the slightest hint of bitterness about ANYTHING, because it doesn't fucking do anything useful.

Not trying to brag, just trying to give you all as accurate of an assessment of my personalty as possible.

Neurotic, sure. Mean/nasty/bitter, no. Not a cunt. But thanks for the candor.

I think the neurosis directly gets in the way, by preventing sexual chemistry from forming. Girls LIKE me. I'm always making them smile, and laugh. I fascinate them with stories. They like talking to me. AND they perceive me as having a fairly high SMV, since I'm a white foreigner in remote China. I get literal rockstar treatment over here.

So...
Fun: check.
SMV: check.
Willing to get jiggy with me: Probably.
But I'm having trouble TRANSLATING that willingness into actual sexual chemistry.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-17-2017

I just want to repost that last part for emphasis:

So...
Fun: check.
SMV: check.
Willing to get jiggy with me: Probably.
But I'm having trouble TRANSLATING that willingness into actual sexual chemistry.

This is really central. This is like the most simple summary of the problem that I can think of.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Cattle Rustler - 02-17-2017

Stop overthinking stuff buddy, everything gets old when you've had it. You claim you have nothing in common with these girls but go back and read your posts. You used to rave about them as if they were your twin.

Focus on other things, start lifting, go into MMA/BJJ, take a hobby or become a brogrammer.....so you can transform into Chad Thundercock.

I get the same feeling when I'm fucking a lot, so I lay off a bit and then do it again....and it feels great once again.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Sketness - 02-17-2017

If what you say is true that your a fun loving guy who is fun to be around, and you seem to attract girl fairly easily, then your problem may be that you don't like Asian girls.

You gotta ask yourself "what makes my dick hard"

And in this case it may not be girls in remote China. Sexual chemistry comes when you are attracted to a chick. It's as simple as …does she make your dick hard? If so ,then there's a good chance the sexual chemistry is there or on its way

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Quintus Curtius - 02-17-2017

Quote: (02-17-2017 02:31 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:  

Stop overthinking stuff buddy, everything gets old when you've had it. You claim you have nothing in common with these girls but go back and read your posts. You used to rave about them as if they were your twin.

Focus on other things, start lifting, go into MMA/BJJ, take a hobby or become a brogrammer.....so you can transform into Chad Thundercock.

I get the same feeling when I'm fucking a lot, so I lay off a bit and then do it again....and it feels great once again.

Exactly. Calm down, stop overthinking every fucking thing, and take life as it comes. You might want to take up some sort of contact sport also. Getting punched in the face a few times will help cure you of your nebbishy neuroticism. Punching someone else in the face feels even better. Believe me.

And you'd better move fast. You don't want to end up like this guy.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-17-2017

Ok guys, it's 4:00 in the morning, but I've been laying awake all night thinking about this, and I had an epiphany, and I'm starting to see what's going on. I HAVE to share it.

The problem is actually pretty simple: I can't relax around girls.

That's it.

Sexual energy starts flowing as soon as the brain switches gears into relaxation. As long as there are two factors present:

1) Relaxation
2) The presence of someone attractive

That's all it takes. And I'm missing the Relaxation.

Now... there are two reasons for this, that I can think of.

The first is that I don't actually WANT to relax - because my game is built around a high degree of control, controlling the scene to make things go the way I want, to make my SMV high, and to deal with logistics and... well... you know, all the stuff that most "game" is about.

I'm afraid that if I relax, I'll lose control of the "set", or the overall flow of the situation, or my own mental state and understanding of game, and I'll end up doing something anti-game, turning the girl off, and fucking up the whole thing. I've been dealing with this ever since I first got into game, at age 18. Basically my entire experience with the female sex is due to game (David Deangelo, to be precise, because that's who I found first), and I kinda almost don't know how to interact with girls outside of a Game-based frame of mind.

But that's actually not the main reason. The rabbit hole goes deeper.

I think I'm subconsciously manifesting that particular problem in order to blame the overall situation on it, in order to avoid an even deeper, more emotionally difficult issue.

Ok, this is gonna sound a little strange, but please, don't judge...

I'm actually fully capable of relaxing around girls. It's not something that comes easy - but I CAN do it. I know the breathing techniques. I'm trained in yoga. I know pranayama. I know how to deliberately relax my mind, and get my brain into a slower frequency mode.

But what happens when I do, is I hit a crazy patch of emotions.

The very first time I got close to hooking up with a girl... back in college, at 18... I remember it, we were on the campus shuttle bus late at night, after a party, just the two of us, and we were talking, staring deep into each other's eyes. I started to feel turned on... like, extremely turned on, in a way that I hadn't before. I was entering the realm of real sexuality for the first time.

And what happened when I felt that, was I realized that THAT was what I had been missing, all those years before. (All those years was just 2 years - 2 years that I had actively been seeking a girlfriend - but when you're only 18, 2 years is a fucking eternity). I realized what I had been missing, and I began to feel sad. Like there was this deep well of sorrow inside me, which I had suppressed or forgotten was there, and now that I was feeling That Which I Had Missed For So Long, I felt extremely sad, and I started to cry. Except I couldn't cry, because there was a fucking girl right there. And there was no stimulus to cry over - we weren't watching a sad movie or anything - so why would a guy just fucking start crying right there? It would have been utterly fucking unexplainable and ridiculous. Would have totally ruined the chemistry/vibe and any chance I could have ever had of ever getting with her or even talking to her again. The tears were coming on fast, and I had to stop it, so I... kind of just... retreated inside my head. And the sadness subsided, but so did all other emotion, and the sexual chemistry went with it. The connection was off. From there, we drifted apart, energetically, and the hookup sabotaged.

And every other time after that, when I got sorta close to a girl - the same thing. Whenever I reached the realm of sexual consciousness, the "well of sorrow" showed up again. And with each month that went by, and then as the months turned into years, the "well" only got deeper. To the point that now, if I even get into a sexually charged atmosphere, like a club (one in which real hookups are taking place), I go batshit. I don't let it show on the outside, but inside, I'm dealing with a sudden tempest of emotions spanning from the deepest grief to the reddest rage. How do you connect like that?

So uh... yea. I don't know where to go with that... but it's almost 5 in the morning, so I just wanted to get that out there before I fell asleep and forgot it.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Travesty - 02-17-2017

Can't count the amount of problems I've solved on the Newbie board.

Can't relax around chicks?

More alcohol, maybe a bit of weed both of you. You get brave she gets horny.

I am not talking about wasted. I am talking about being at the peak between sober and wasted.

You may even want to try a small spliff to get that nicotine high and boost you a bit.

Maybe you should get a lovable dog or two as well.

It's the simple things, not the platitudes. Brah brah brah.

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As someone who's mind constantly places together a thousand details without control I can say that people saying: "don't think so hard" does zero. What does do more for this type of man is to cut loose more, get laid more from cutting loose more, then that overthinking stops on its own.
Stopping overthinking at the start is nigh imposible.

Back in the day much moreso, and even now a bit I think at 3 drinks I am about the same wavelength as most other people are sober.

I don't need to drink anymore to have success or dial down into people's wavelength, but damn if that did not help me in beginning especially as a teenager and up to my late 20s. Men also calm down a bit in their heads around 30 which will help too as time goes on.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-17-2017

I don't want to understate it: it's some serious grief. It's like if you lost your best friend - or better yet, your wife - and then had amnesia, and forgot about it, and then suddenly one day you remember. You suddenly feel her hand on you, and you remember it all, and you remember that you lost her, right then and there, what you've been missing all this time. Except it's even worse than that, because you're realizing that the relationship never even took place - it was prevented from ever taking place, and what you're remembering is actually an alternate reality that *could have been* but wasn't, and you wasted so many years of your life alone, by yourself... you get the picture? It's an intense grief and I have no idea how to deal with it.

I'd meditate on it like a Zen dude. I'd vipassana it. But in order to meditate on it, I need to actually "bring it up." Like it has to be aroused, in order for me to process it. And the only way to arouse it is with the presence of a girl I'm about to hook up with. But that is PRECISELY the time when crying and hitting a pillow is NOT the correct thing to do. So how do I arouse the feeling, in a situation in which I'm able to meditate on it? That's the conundrum.

And no matter how much you tell an overthinker to stop overthinking, it doesn't do any good. You may be right that I overthink. But if overthinking could be turned off with the flip of a single switch, then every overthinker would flip it off.

The point is, I (and probably every overthinker) overthink because of deep-seated emotional issues, which the overthinking is a defense-mechanism to avoid feeling. We overthink for a reason. And if we don't deal with those emotional issues, we can't stop overthinking. It can't just be shut off at will - not without addressing the emotions that drove us to overthink in the first place.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - heavy - 02-17-2017

Damn good reading on this page fellas.

Quote: (02-17-2017 03:43 PM)thegreenman Wrote:  

Ok guys, it's 4:00 in the morning, but I've been laying awake all night thinking about this, and I had an epiphany, and I'm starting to see what's going on. I HAVE to share it.

The problem is actually pretty simple: I can't relax around girls.
...

First, careful laying in bed thinking about shit all night, especially if you're really introspective. I've learned, when I wake up and I'm anxious (in my case about my career)...yes it's good to trust my anxiety to motivate me to act, but most times I'm better off distracting myself by watching tv or going to the gym or go for a run. I suspect really charismatic successful people would never lie in bed for hours thinking and being anxious. They do.

Second, I'd bet it's not just girls that put you on edge. In fact, to reflect on what someone else said, BJJ will help. Speaking from experience, I had my BJJ prof tell me my biggest weakness is my inability to relax. Literally said that to me Wednesday. And he's right, because it hit me hard. Not only for BJJ, but with a lot of my life. And it's good, because working on this mentally and physically in the gym will help in every aspect of life.

Do a combat sport. Speaking from experience.

But yes, to what Travesty said, in the short term just smoke some weed or drink some booze to loosen up.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Tigre - 02-17-2017

Quote: (02-17-2017 03:52 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

Can't relax around chicks?

More alcohol, maybe a bit of weed both of you. You get brave she gets horny.

I am not talking about wasted. I am talking about being at the peak between sober and wasted.

Travesty, I wrote OP a similar suggestion back on page 9. He politely declined to action it.

That was 2½ years ago. I don't know if the continued dissatisfaction since then might have softened his attitude a bit.

***

OP, another approach is to go to one of those hooker joints that's set up as a massage and relaxation kind of place. Get used to having a girl completely concentrate on your pleasure and stimulation. That will get you in the right frame of mind to be more comfortable around women.

At that kind of place, neither you nor the girl will be wearing clothes and then do whatever you feel moved to do - get a massage, get your dick sucked or bang.

At this stage, you are tracking way behind the field of single men when it comes to owning a girl in the bedroom. You would benefit from more experience. So get it ASAP and any way you can.

**

A lot of game-unaware guys are looking for a relationship dynamic that's kind of a mother-son thing. Where the woman just loves you unconditionally for being you. You don't have to do anything except just be yourself.

Game-aware guys know that the right dynamic is much more like father-daughter. She feels protected with you. You lead. She gets to feel loved.

Could it be that you are trying for the wrong dynamic, and girls are bailing out on the relationship because they want you to be the guy who takes charge more?

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-18-2017

Quote: (02-17-2017 08:26 PM)Tigre Wrote:  

Quote: (02-17-2017 03:52 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

Can't relax around chicks?

More alcohol, maybe a bit of weed both of you. You get brave she gets horny.

I am not talking about wasted. I am talking about being at the peak between sober and wasted.

Travesty, I wrote OP a similar suggestion back on page 9. He politely declined to action it.

That was 2½ years ago. I don't know if the continued dissatisfaction since then might have softened his attitude a bit.

***

OP, another approach is to go to one of those hooker joints that's set up as a massage and relaxation kind of place. Get used to having a girl completely concentrate on your pleasure and stimulation. That will get you in the right frame of mind to be more comfortable around women.

At that kind of place, neither you nor the girl will be wearing clothes and then do whatever you feel moved to do - get a massage, get your dick sucked or bang.

At this stage, you are tracking way behind the field of single men when it comes to owning a girl in the bedroom. You would benefit from more experience. So get it ASAP and any way you can.

**

A lot of game-unaware guys are looking for a relationship dynamic that's kind of a mother-son thing. Where the woman just loves you unconditionally for being you. You don't have to do anything except just be yourself.

Game-aware guys know that the right dynamic is much more like father-daughter. She feels protected with you. You lead. She gets to feel loved.

Could it be that you are trying for the wrong dynamic, and girls are bailing out on the relationship because they want you to be the guy who takes charge more?

Alcohol: It makes me go to sleep. It doesn't give me confidence - I already have that. I can bust through any social stigma/block within the bounds of ahimsa, and I can do it completely sober. Alcohol gives other people courage - it gives me sleep. I drink it, and I become mush, just splaying out on the couch and drifting off to sleep.

Weed: I smoke almost every day.

Ayahuasca: Somebody mentioned his. I have some experience with it. I had 4 sessions in Baltimore led by a local yoga teacher trained in Peru. They were good experiences. Not as intense as I was expecting - no visual or aural "hallucinations", but I felt the vine spirit's presence, and she communicated with me. I definitely met her, although it was feeling-based, rather than visual or aural. I guess the doses weren't that high, but they were substantial.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-18-2017

I know what you mean about the mother-son thing. I admit that that's in there. We can't choose our longings... but we can choose our responses, and I know that this dynamic is not attractive to most women, and I make sure to do more of the father-daughter dynamic.

Like I said, I don't think the problem is that girls "aren't interested" or "lose interest." The problem is that they're interested, but I can't translate that interest into sexual energy.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-18-2017

Oh, and China doesn't have hooker places. At least not this city. Maybe in the bigger cities, I don't know, I've never been to any of the big cities. But here the only massage places are strictly for massage only, as far as I know.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-18-2017

Quote: (02-17-2017 02:47 PM)Sketness Wrote:  

If what you say is true that your a fun loving guy who is fun to be around, and you seem to attract girl fairly easily, then your problem may be that you don't like Asian girls.

You gotta ask yourself "what makes my dick hard"

And in this case it may not be girls in remote China. Sexual chemistry comes when you are attracted to a chick. It's as simple as …does she make your dick hard? If so ,then there's a good chance the sexual chemistry is there or on its way

There is some truth there. Chinese girls don't tend to "do it for me" as much as most others. They're very stiff... kind of robot-like. It's not as bad as most of us westerners stereotype... but it is there.

What to do about that?
No jobs in Laos or Cambodia. I don't like Thailand and the air there is terrible, and they probably won't hire me anyway because I'm not "handsome enough." Latin America doesn't pay shit, so I'd be able to afford food and a room, but would have no extra cash for dating, and also I wouldn't have rockstar status over there since gringos are nothing special. Europe doesn't hire Americans. I'm not moving to the Middle East. Japan is impossible to get a job in. I visited Vietnam for 2 weeks, but couldn't get over the weirdness factor of meeting people and wondering whether my dad murdered their parents. Malaysia/Indonesia, too hot and the air is terrible and I'm not into hijabs.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - MongolianAbroad - 02-18-2017

Man.

I had wondered what you'd been up to, this thread was like a book with the entire second half of it ripped out.

We got a few more pages these last couple of days, and they delivered.

15 times in your life...even with living in Asia...damn.

I've read the entire thread, but I haven't read all of it in a few months.

Has anyone suggested raising your testosterone level yet? Are you eating enough red meat and healthy fats? Try eating lots of avocados, salmon, filet mignon, walnuts, etc.

If you're horny enough, the volume of these thoughts bouncing around your head should go down, replaced by pure masculine sexual energy that needs an outlet.

Also, the weed.

Have you tried cutting that out? It may be making you space out instead of taking action.

If all these thoughts are running through your head, you may just not want it bad enough, and it could be your inputs are off.

It's great to see you back, man, and nice work on making it happen by getting out there in Asia, you did what you felt you had to do.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Travesty - 02-18-2017

Quote: (02-18-2017 12:07 AM)thegreenman Wrote:  

Weed: I smoke almost every day.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - subterfuge - 02-18-2017

Quote: (02-18-2017 01:01 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

15 times in your life...even with living in Asia...damn.

hehe, that's a lot more than me!! I think I need to join Greenman with the '' move too an easy country if you want to get laid'' idea! Although, I must admit that i'm also not really into Asian girls either, from a looks perspective.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - Valentine - 02-18-2017

I think you need to put yourself in a position where you can have sex with lots of different girls everyday, just to get used to being able to get completely comfortable with fucking a new girl very quickly.

For that purpose I'd highly recommend Thailand - take as long as you can for the trip, ideally over a month. You're a stones throw away so it seems a waste not to visit the pussy paradise right near you.

You say you don't like the air - then go to the islands instead of the city. It's a big country. There are plenty of RVF guys in the country as well who I'm sure would like to meet you. Enjoy pal.

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Why Hasn't Game Worked? - thegreenman - 02-18-2017

Quote: (02-18-2017 08:11 AM)Valentine Wrote:  

I think you need to put yourself in a position where you can have sex with lots of different girls everyday, just to get used to being able to get completely comfortable with fucking a new girl very quickly.

For that purpose I'd highly recommend Thailand - take as long as you can for the trip, ideally over a month. You're a stones throw away so it seems a waste not to visit the pussy paradise right near you.

You say you don't like the air - then go to the islands instead of the city. It's a big country. There are plenty of RVF guys in the country as well who I'm sure would like to meet you. Enjoy pal.

The trouble with Thailand is that it all revolves around money, and you need that stuff in order to play there. And in order to have money, I need work. Which isn't so easy to find in Thailand, with all the competition from a million other westerners who want to do the same.

I tried to move to Thailand. I lived there for three months. I absolutely withered on the vine in Bangkok - that environment is the antithesis of everything I value. I tried the south - Phuket and Krabi, and the southeast around the Gulf, and Chiang Mai and Rai and Pai. No frickin jobs there man. They're all taken. And I got the sense from the islands that I'm not "cool" enough to be there. Like I'm not "in" the "in crowd" of beach-hippies and jet-setters and famous yogis and fitness instructors that call Phuket home. Same thing to a lesser extent throughout the south. In Chiang Mai I felt a little more accepted, but after physically visiting practically every school in the city, and personally chatting with the owners of them all, there were just no fucking offers. They don't need another foreigner. They're up to their eyeballs in us.

I did get offered one job though - in a remote, random, tiny town in the interior of the country, that had exactly one 7-11 in it - that's how small the place was - and no tourists, and no sex industry. The restaurants closed at sundown. And I was fired on the first day for not being handsome enough to the old lady principal.

I'm pretty confident in saying that the universe sent me a message that Thailand ain't the spot.

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