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Who Pays On Dates?
#1

Who Pays On Dates?

Interesting blog post...

http://therulesrevisited.blogspot.com/20...dates.html

Quote:Quote:

When it comes to paying for dates, the rule is simple: always assume you are going to split the check, and offer to do so. If you wouldn't be willing to pay for your half of the date in order to spend time with a guy, then you shouldn't accept his invitation to go out in the first place. So the first part of keeping the financial side of dates simple is not accepting invitations from guys you aren't interested in.

I think it's better to get out in front of things and communicate clearly what the rules are for the date, you know the saying about assumptions. Initially, you shouldn't be going anywhere where the money you spend is really bothering you anyway. Most of us expect these chicks to give up pussy, but also don't want to spend $8 on them for a wrap.

Put that shit into perspective.

The other alternative is offering to "help" her make dinner either at your place or hers. I steer clear of having chicks over to my place because that's how you create stalkers, this may differ for those who live in locales where people are more trustworthy, which is not the case where I am.

Here's an interesting response from a female...

Quote:Quote:

I was a little bit surprised by this - it is the modern way of thinking and I suppose I support it, but at this point I am old-fashioned. I have never been out to dinner with a man who hasn't picked up the entire bill, but usually it happens when I go to the ladies' room (I come back, he's taken care of it, I say "thank you"). I don't go to the LR just to have him take care of it OBVIOUSLY, I usually have to go (at the very least to freshen up).

Bullshit. Her going to the ladies room before the check is paid is her way of disconnecting herself from having to be a part of settling up. If it was obvious that that was not her goal, she wouldn't have to state it, because it's "obvious".

When a woman is going to pay for the meal or her part of it, she will go to the ladies room afterwards.

I don't really do dates, as I think they send the wrong message, especially when you're dealing with an emotionally unavailable woman who's letting a number of men satisfy her various needs.

After she's established you mean something to her, then date on.
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#2

Who Pays On Dates?

This is for people who don't understand the game.

1) You should never date. No movies, flowers, concerts, rock climbing, and never a dinner.

a) You should have traditional dates with your LTR to keep things interesting, and cement her feelings towards you....but

b) Why do you have an LTR?

2) Money is primarily for logistics.

- money gets you where the hot chicks are - be it the best clubs, best parts of town, best parts of the world. Sometimes it's cover, sometimes it's the clothes you wear, often times it's going out all the time - the logistics cost

- money pays for the cab

- money gets you a good place for having sex.

- money speeds things up, but not because you're using your money to impress a girl by buying her things.

If you're really trying to ball on a budget, there's always groupon, restaurant weeks, and romantic walks in the park...but if you're trying to bang, all that pinching and bargaining is the surest way to screen out chicks.

If you're actually balling, you're going to a tasting menu @ Per Se because you're a foodie and she's along for the ride. You're snowboarding in Vermont cause you like to snowboard, and she can come along.

Money is for you.
Money is for logistics.
If money gets spent on a chick because of your lifestyle, or because you're trying to bang her out as fast as possible - so be it.

But money is not for dating.
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#3

Who Pays On Dates?

99% of my first meetings are going for drinks at a local bar or pub. A lot of girls have offered to split the tab. But if not, I just pay the 10 bucks(or a lot of times less since I pick happy hour spots) for her two drinks. I don't see anything wrong with it, especially since I'm usually suggesting the place and she's meeting me there. It's never hurt my game either. It's easy to tell if she has a high or even lukewarm interest level, I always go for the gold on the first date anyway so I see no issue with it.

I've had some girls say they wanted a traditional first date where I would come pick them up and we'd go to dinner in which case I just delete their number and never talk to them again.
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#4

Who Pays On Dates?

In Ukraine I always pay, coffee date usually comes to around 4 euro.
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#5

Who Pays On Dates?

After many bitter experiences I have to say dates, even just casual meet-ups, are a friggin waste of time. I will consider, going forward, coffee dates if I nothing better to do, but right now I'm going the Tuth/Samseau route of no dates.

That said... who ever invites, pays. You ask a girl out, you pay. She asks you out, she pays. Sometimes I make her ask me out.

A year from now you'll wish you started today
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#6

Who Pays On Dates?

I already split the check several times. I guess I can count how many of it man ever paid anything for me.
If there is a man who could pay and take me to places where I never been, great. If there who could pay only for his share (since I live in a that country most of people are not earning enough) and still wants to see me, it's also great.

Deixa que essa fase é passageira, amanhã será melhor você vai ver a cidade inteira seu samba saber de cor!
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#7

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote:Quote:

I think it's better to get out in front of things and communicate clearly what the rules are for the date, you know the saying about assumptions. Initially, you shouldn't be going anywhere where the money you spend is really bothering you anyway.

100% disagree. I have lost 3 SMOKIN' hot girls in the past month by bringing up who pays. And these were women who were usually willing to trade-off or go Dutch, I just made the fatal error of actually DISCUSSING it before the bill came. For some people it's a huge turn off. Be warned: DO NOT TALK ABOUT WHO PAYS BEFORE THE CHECK COMES.The potential to fuck up is huge. Also don't get yourself into fancy dinners or super expensive situations.

A GREAT routine to run is to say : "Hey, I got the first round", and buy and pay for the first round. If the girl likes you she WILL offer to buy the second once both your drinks are empty. If she doesn't she's either entitled or not digging you. Either way, dump her. Happy hour drinks are cheap as sin.
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#8

Who Pays On Dates?

Your money is to pay for your mortgage, wife and kids not sluts you bang. They deserve and should get as little as possible. If a girl wants dinner tell her straight that you are not sure if you like her enough to buy her dinner. Never pay for dinner unless you have banged her already amd like her company.
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#9

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-24-2012 02:34 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

This is for people who don't understand the game.

1) You should never date. No movies, flowers, concerts, rock climbing, and never a dinner.

a) You should have traditional dates with your LTR to keep things interesting, and cement her feelings towards you....but

b) Why do you have an LTR?

2) Money is primarily for logistics.

- money gets you where the hot chicks are - be it the best clubs, best parts of town, best parts of the world. Sometimes it's cover, sometimes it's the clothes you wear, often times it's going out all the time - the logistics cost

- money pays for the cab

- money gets you a good place for having sex.

- money speeds things up, but not because you're using your money to impress a girl by buying her things.

If you're really trying to ball on a budget, there's always groupon, restaurant weeks, and romantic walks in the park...but if you're trying to bang, all that pinching and bargaining is the surest way to screen out chicks.

If you're actually balling, you're going to a tasting menu @ Per Se because you're a foodie and she's along for the ride. You're snowboarding in Vermont cause you like to snowboard, and she can come along.

Money is for you.
Money is for logistics.
If money gets spent on a chick because of your lifestyle, or because you're trying to bang her out as fast as possible - so be it.

But money is not for dating.

Damn, that post is on point. well done ! I don't usually hand out rep points for anything else than a Data sheet but this advice is right up my alley and i hope everyone reads it.

Book - Around the World in 80 Girls - The Epic 3 Year Trip of a Backpacking Casanova

My new book Famles - Fables and Fairytales for Men is out now on Amazon.
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#10

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-25-2012 01:05 PM)Neil Skywalker Wrote:  

Damn, that post is on point. well done ! I don't usually hand out rep points for anything else than a Data sheet but this advice is right up my alley and i hope everyone reads it.

Just trying to add on to the collective. This is prolly the premier site for the game online imo.
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#11

Who Pays On Dates?

All the talk on here about suiting up and acting classy but then half the guys say don't ever pay for a date and never go on a second date if she doesn't fuck on the first. Call me a sucker, but if I'm on a date with a hottie who I want to bang, I'll gladly pay for the date. And if she's a quality hottie and it takes more than one date to fuck her, then I'll go on a second or third date. I don't buy into that bullshit about never paying a dime or agreeing ahead of time who will pay, or rules about "if I don't fuck on the first date, I never see her again."
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#12

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-25-2012 09:35 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

All the talk on here about suiting up and acting classy but then half the guys say don't ever pay for a date and never go on a second date if she doesn't fuck on the first. Call me a sucker, but if I'm on a date with a hottie who I want to bang, I'll gladly pay for the date. And if she's a quality hottie and it takes more than one date to fuck her, then I'll go on a second or third date. I don't buy into that bullshit about never paying a dime or agreeing ahead of time who will pay, or rules about "if I don't fuck on the first date, I never see her again."

Thank you for saying this.

Most of the posts here need disclaimers: "Don't do this if you're trying to bag a woman".

The advice is very much tailored to low-quality women who aren't good enough to mean anything to you more than a fuck.

Dudes are saying do such and such only for your wife, well shit your wife has to be your girlfriend first.

Most dudes are learning game to get quality girlfriends, as much as dudes here idolize guys like G and Mixx, most will never be those dudes nor am I sure that's the ultimate goal anyway.

I also recall saying in an old thread, dressing nice and running asshole game are incongruent messages.
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#13

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-26-2012 12:48 AM)jariel Wrote:  

Quote: (01-25-2012 09:35 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

All the talk on here about suiting up and acting classy but then half the guys say don't ever pay for a date and never go on a second date if she doesn't fuck on the first. Call me a sucker, but if I'm on a date with a hottie who I want to bang, I'll gladly pay for the date. And if she's a quality hottie and it takes more than one date to fuck her, then I'll go on a second or third date. I don't buy into that bullshit about never paying a dime or agreeing ahead of time who will pay, or rules about "if I don't fuck on the first date, I never see her again."

Thank you for saying this.

Most of the posts here need disclaimers: "Don't do this if you're trying to bag a woman".

The advice is very much tailored to low-quality women who aren't good enough to mean anything to you more than a fuck.

Dudes are saying do such and such only for your wife, well shit your wife has to be your girlfriend first.

Most dudes are learning game to get quality girlfriends, as much as dudes here idolize guys like G and Mixx, most will never be those dudes nor am I sure that's the ultimate goal anyway.

I also recall saying in an old thread, dressing nice and running asshole game are incongruent messages.

Yeah, I have always wondered about this.

There seems to be this "glaring hole" (so to speak) on this board that I have never been able to figure out.

There are a lot of guys on here who:

1. Never spend a dime on dates.
2. Hate dressing in Suits
3. Bang girls only on first dates
4. When a picture of a Hollywood Starlet is posted only rate the girl a "5" (obviously implying that they swoop girls twice as hot)
5. Only focus on banging girls "8" or above (which of course on their scale is hotter than Scarlett Johanssen and Rhianna put together).
6. Never, ever buy a girl a drink.
7. Of course, never go to places that are expensive.
8. Only stay in hostels when they travel.
9. Only text message girls
10. Use pick up artist acronyms like they are going out of style.
11. Never bust out a Data Sheet ever. Even on their home city in America.
12. When pressed, still can't name the name of a single nightclub to go to where this all goes down.
13. Is well versed in online dating sites.
14. Mentions "Facebook" game.
15. Of course, hates smoking. And will argue that there is zero benefit for social interaction, defying hundreds of years of evidence to the contrary.


Yet these guys never have any coherent Game theory or explain how this all adds up.

Where the hell is this going down?

It must only be happening in places in America I have never been I guess.
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#14

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-26-2012 01:47 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Quote: (01-26-2012 12:48 AM)jariel Wrote:  

Quote: (01-25-2012 09:35 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

All the talk on here about suiting up and acting classy but then half the guys say don't ever pay for a date and never go on a second date if she doesn't fuck on the first. Call me a sucker, but if I'm on a date with a hottie who I want to bang, I'll gladly pay for the date. And if she's a quality hottie and it takes more than one date to fuck her, then I'll go on a second or third date. I don't buy into that bullshit about never paying a dime or agreeing ahead of time who will pay, or rules about "if I don't fuck on the first date, I never see her again."

Thank you for saying this.

Most of the posts here need disclaimers: "Don't do this if you're trying to bag a woman".

The advice is very much tailored to low-quality women who aren't good enough to mean anything to you more than a fuck.

Dudes are saying do such and such only for your wife, well shit your wife has to be your girlfriend first.

Most dudes are learning game to get quality girlfriends, as much as dudes here idolize guys like G and Mixx, most will never be those dudes nor am I sure that's the ultimate goal anyway.

I also recall saying in an old thread, dressing nice and running asshole game are incongruent messages.

Yeah, I have always wondered about this.

There seems to be this "glaring hole" (so to speak) on this board that I have never been able to figure out.

There are a lot of guys on here who:

1. Never spend a dime on dates.
2. Hate dressing in Suits
3. Bang girls only on first dates
4. When a picture of a Hollywood Starlet is posted only rate the girl a "5" (obviously implying that they swoop girls twice as hot)
5. Only focus on banging girls "8" or above (which of course on their scale is hotter than Scarlett Johanssen and Rhianna put together).
6. Never, ever buy a girl a drink.
7. Of course, never go to places that are expensive.
8. Only stay in hostels when they travel.
9. Only text message girls
10. Use pick up artist acronyms like they are going out of style.
11. Never bust out a Data Sheet ever. Even on their home city in America.
12. When pressed, still can't name the name of a single nightclub to go to where this all goes down.
13. Is well versed in online dating sites.
14. Mentions "Facebook" game.
15. Of course, hates smoking. And will argue that there is zero benefit for social interaction, defying hundreds of years of evidence to the contrary.


Yet these guys never have any coherent Game theory or explain how this all adds up.

Where the hell is this going down?

It must only be happening in places in America I have never been I guess.

1) i'll keep the costs down but will spent money on dates.
2) Don't hate it but i need a reason to dress up, like a job.
3) When it happens it happens but not always.
4) I hate it when guys do that.
5) nope, 6 to 7.5 range with an occasional 5 or 8
6) nope, if a approach goes well, i might buy her a drink.
7) You got me there. without the cash, i cant flash.
8) ill take a total dump hotel over a hostel, but money wise not always possible.
9) I'm a bit guilty on that one, costed me dates i guess.
10) hahaha, that sucks
11) i have some sheets on here
12) No problem there.
13) Not in the last 3 years, but i might give it a go.
14) facebook game, what a joke !
15) smoker here, although i keep it to a minimum while being back home.

Well, i guess i pass the G test, what do i win ?

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#15

Who Pays On Dates?

Money... is a tool, a mechanism in my view that can be used along with other tools to get what you want from a woman. This could either mean your interested in purely sex, or perhaps you want her as a long-term friends with benefits thing, etc.

Like everything involving money, it's important to keep a firm grasp on it but not to become so consumed with the it that you should never spend any. I never understood some men's rules that they should never spend money on anything as it seems to stink of insecurity. If you don't have enough self-discipline not to become some girls ATM, then you have bigger problems that need to be addressed.

I will cite an example.

I recently took out a girl who comes from a really small town here in IA, and has never really left it. Her idea of a fancy dinner is pretty much the Red Lobster, but I took her to a really nice pizza joint that might seem really lowly to some guys here, but to her it was fancy.

Why did I do this?

Because after talking to this girl it became pretty obvious she was embarrassed that her family are rednecks, and she was tired of her boyfriends acting like them to. So I simply tailored my approach, and went a bit upscale.

We both go what we wanted out of it, she got to brag to all her friends back in that one horse town that she went to somewhere fancy, and I got to nail a smoking hot country girl before the inevitable decline occurs that happens to most women from the midwest.

Now if this girl was extremely rich then obviously this approach wouldn't have worked, and I would have tailored my game for those circumstances. I think some guys would benefit from learning to tailor their use of money to the girl, and circumstances instead of having a non-negotiable rule.

Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen! -John Mason (The Rock)
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#16

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-25-2012 09:35 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

All the talk on here about suiting up and acting classy but then half the guys say don't ever pay for a date and never go on a second date if she doesn't fuck on the first. Call me a sucker, but if I'm on a date with a hottie who I want to bang, I'll gladly pay for the date. And if she's a quality hottie and it takes more than one date to fuck her, then I'll go on a second or third date. I don't buy into that bullshit about never paying a dime or agreeing ahead of time who will pay, or rules about "if I don't fuck on the first date, I never see her again."

Ha nice post. It's true, I'm not sure how a lot of guys are banging without going on dates unless it's just a lot of ONSs, some girls won't bang on the first date regardless of your game. I prefer to keep the first date cheap, but most of the girls I go out with are in their 20s, so they're up for the happy hour meetup.
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#17

Who Pays On Dates?

If you're not on facebook you have no chance of getting pussy from it ever. So, stay on facebook just don't add girls you are playing.

Just the other day facebook threw me a meatball. A girls face was on my page and the facebook gods said I may know her. I asked her and we are going out next week. As it turns out we went to the same jr high in Connecticut even though she lives right down the road from me in Florida.

That said..Anything could be worked for pussy. Anything. Facebook, The emergency room, Anything. It's like the lotto. You can't win if you don't play.

We should stop putting labels on things. It's hurting our young players.

Smitty Wrote:
All the talk on here about suiting up and acting classy but then half the guys say don't ever pay for a date and never go on a second date if she doesn't fuck on the first. Call me a sucker, but if I'm on a date with a hottie who I want to bang, I'll gladly pay for the date. And if she's a quality hottie and it takes more than one date to fuck her, then I'll go on a second or third date. I don't buy into that bullshit about never paying a dime or agreeing ahead of time who will pay, or rules about "if I don't fuck on the first date, I never see her again.

Smitty and I are half Greeks. That's how we roll. Why? Because we both grew up watching our family members tear threw pussy like nothing most of you have ever seen. It works. Last night I was out with a forum member who only posts once in a while and at one of the bars we went to we were hanging out with an 84 year old greek dude that was there to pull. Now his game is old school but he does pull girls in their 30s maybe once every month or so. It's part of our culture
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#18

Who Pays On Dates?

Here's how I view this "who pays" situation. You invite her, you treat. That said, as a guy that goes out a lot, it's impractical to pay for EVERYTHING all the time.

Enter, tuth's "I'll get the first round" that you say magnanimously.

We all make girls ask our names first. Why, to make them EARN it. When you start shelling out dollars for drinks you make yourself look like just another chump that's paying for her company. I've spoken to girls that tell me, they PREY on guys who buy them dinner and drinks. One hispanic girl told me the reason why she liked me was because I didn't "put up" with nonsense. She then told me her and her friends' M.O. was to order food, take half to go so they could share it at home with the other bitches or have lunch the next day.

Do you get that? You are a fucking DOLLAR sign when you start paying for shit when they haven't EARNED the priveledge of your company.

Here's the catch, you will go out with some high quality girls, and when you pay for something, you act like it means nothing to you. When you sign that cc slip, you sign it like someone asked for an autograph that you're TIRED of having to write.

Think about "game", do we make girls come to us with "bait" in conversations? Do we make them show "ioi's" before we proceed? Do we in all other facets make them come to us?

Rhetorical question, of course we do. Why are you doing it with money.

Now, I'll concede, there are times when you should graciously pay and act like a man, but if you really think about it, that girl did something to make you think she's earned it.

My two cents of course.
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#19

Who Pays On Dates?

This is where the rich guy vs the broke guy comes into play.

To me this is simple, if i find her interesting enough to have a conversation and she has some class, then i dont mind taking her out for a date. For fuck sake, i will hardly pay more than 30 dollars for a dinner for both of us, if thats a big deal to some of you guys, then you may want to improve your paycheck. Scotian has a nice datasheet about the oil industry in Canada, join it lol.
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#20

Who Pays On Dates?

I concur with Fisto. I don't pay for dates but it depends on how the lizard is. Some lizards are cool and others are parasitic. I don't feed the parasites.

I went on a date last year with a lizard who decided she wanted to go and eat (changing our initial plans of going bowling). She feasted out and racked up a 50 dollar bill. I wasn't hungry and ordered a salad. She ordered the full range as well as dessert.
Afterwards, the bill came.
I said "I've got my salad, don't worry."
She sat there, flabbergasted.
She said "I've never been on a date where I have had to pay for my meal."
I said "Well let's go Dutch", ignoring her attempted attack on my 'masculinity'.
One of my FWBs said that she went through four years of uni getting simps to pay for her dates. This meant she ate and was entertained for free
So, even if you can afford it, you are sending off the wrong type of signal to the lizard unless, you can convey mannerisms in a way that makes her feel like a piece of meat (objectifying her).

This only goes for parasitic reptiles. Regular lizards (who come from patriarchal upbringings), I have zero problem with paying for their meal.

The question to be asked is:

Is it the money or the principle?

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#21

Who Pays On Dates?

You know what, i think this comes down to the quality of chicks some of you guys are dating. If the chick is a straight hood chick and is not used to guys taking her out, then she may see you as a simp. Thats why i said that you need to consider if she passes the quality test. High quality women tend to date high quality men, therefore, they wouldnt be surprised if they meet a guy who takes them out because they know they are worth it.
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#22

Who Pays On Dates?

In this entire thread, I don't see much info about the cultural context; I mean what if you're in a country where the concept of a woman paying for dinner is completely alien? Are you really going to stick with a rule designed for another part of the world? In some countries, it's expected that a man pay for certain things, and yes I clearly recognize the danger in you becoming a possible walking ATM. Any man paying attention should be able to tell the difference.

I'm afraid I can't see a good reason for having a defined rule on this. I think it's better to modify your stance based on each girl individually.

Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen! -John Mason (The Rock)
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#23

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-27-2012 11:22 AM)Moma Wrote:  

I concur with Fisto. I don't pay for dates but it depends on how the lizard is. Some lizards are cool and others are parasitic. I don't feed the parasites.

I went on a date last year with a lizard who decided she wanted to go and eat (changing our initial plans of going bowling). She feasted out and racked up a 50 dollar bill. I wasn't hungry and ordered a salad. She ordered the full range as well as dessert.
Afterwards, the bill came.
I said "I've got my salad, don't worry."
She sat there, flabbergasted.
She said "I've never been on a date where I have had to pay for my meal."
I said "Well let's go Dutch", ignoring her attempted attack on my 'masculinity'.
One of my FWBs said that she went through four years of uni getting simps to pay for her dates. This meant she ate and was entertained for free
So, even if you can afford it, you are sending off the wrong type of signal to the lizard unless, you can convey mannerisms in a way that makes her feel like a piece of meat (objectifying her).

This only goes for parasitic reptiles. Regular lizards (who come from patriarchal upbringings), I have zero problem with paying for their meal.

The question to be asked is:

Is it the money or the principle?

Classic story.

Two questions:

1. Did you end up banging her?

2. What kind of girl was this? Would you say "high quality" ie classy, cool, comes from money, good family etc? Or medium to low quality (not talking looks) ie middle class/lower middle class etc?
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#24

Who Pays On Dates?

Wizard - For simplicity purpose, we are going to assume that one is going out with an employed lizard that is bred out of DC or Toronto.

You don't even need a high level of game dealing with lizards from easier going cities.

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Love 'em or leave 'em but we can't live without lizardsssss..

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#25

Who Pays On Dates?

Quote: (01-27-2012 11:22 AM)Moma Wrote:  

I concur with Fisto. I don't pay for dates but it depends on how the lizard is. Some lizards are cool and others are parasitic. I don't feed the parasites.

I went on a date last year with a lizard who decided she wanted to go and eat (changing our initial plans of going bowling). She feasted out and racked up a 50 dollar bill. I wasn't hungry and ordered a salad. She ordered the full range as well as dessert.
Afterwards, the bill came.
I said "I've got my salad, don't worry."
She sat there, flabbergasted.
She said "I've never been on a date where I have had to pay for my meal."
I said "Well let's go Dutch", ignoring her attempted attack on my 'masculinity'.
One of my FWBs said that she went through four years of uni getting simps to pay for her dates. This meant she ate and was entertained for free
So, even if you can afford it, you are sending off the wrong type of signal to the lizard unless, you can convey mannerisms in a way that makes her feel like a piece of meat (objectifying her).

This only goes for parasitic reptiles. Regular lizards (who come from patriarchal upbringings), I have zero problem with paying for their meal.

The question to be asked is:

Is it the money or the principle?
This is hilarious! Boriqua girls piss me off with this shit. I went out with one and she brought her cousin with us once. They wanted to stop at dunkin donuts and walked right up to the counter and ordered up all this crap and turned and looked at me like WTF are you waiting for come up and pay. We went to a latin club and the disrespect continued. The two dumb sluts left their coats and purses in my car and pissed me off so much that I got into my car stood on the horn until them and a bunch of other people came outside then I threw all their shit out of my sunroof and did posi burnouts all over it while they watched.
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