.
And now I know why everyone here loves Brazil.
Overview:
As I sit here slightly hungover from going out for the first time back in California after my trip, I cannot express how much I miss Rio. Simply put, I fucking loved Rio and I guess Brazil if this is what it is like. Again, it’s worth it to point out that Roosh’s Brazil book is extremely accurate. I highly suggest people read this and also do not gloss over any detail. I was there for 9 nights. Some general observations are as follows:
* The girls here are batshit crazy, in a good way. They drink, they have fun, they flirt, they do not play games, etc. The best way I can describe it is they are very comfortable with themselves and have a bit of aggressiveness to them. Physically, the highest quality girls I saw were in Rio over BA and Medellin. However, there were fewer overall hot girls in Rio than the other two. The biggest discrepancy was here, from nasty dark skinned fat chicks to supermodel 10s.
* The guys here are beasts. I’ve never seen so many goddamn bruisers in my life. I don’t know if they are on roids or what, but the sheer number of ripped meatheads is mind boggling. Even the nerds look like they can tear you up. Maybe it is the beach culture of Rio, I don’t know. Obviously they are not all bruisers, but there are a lot of them.
* Get ready to wait in line. For everything. It got to a point where I started taking pictures of the lines.
* More people speak english here than in Medellin and BA. A simple “Falla inglesh?” will quickly let you know if they speak english or not. Most people are very helpful and friendly and willing to help out. If they don’t speak english, they sometimes can speak spanish. So my follow up question was “Falla espanol?” They would speak spanish 50% of the time I’d say
* Despite the warnings and fears and stories, I did not get robbed. Didn’t even get close to being robbed at all.
* I can swear the cabbies take you around for a few extra miles to squeeze out more money. Roosh mentioned this in his book. After I got a layout of the land, a few times I know they took me around and around for no reason. But without the language not much you can do and it was only a few bucks, but still annoying.
* Juice it up. I had Acai every damn day, as well as 1-2 other juices per day. It’s awesome having fresh juice like that. Banana is very good too.
* I had more success than my friend, and even my friend noticed it too. I look 100% american, he looks persian/colombian. They like the light skin here.
* Skip Sugarloaf and just do the Christ statute. The views are better and more expansive at Christ than Sugarloaf. No reason to do both.
Logistics:
The international airport is located decently close to Ipanema where we were staying. But the Rio airport is full of scams. First, we were tricked into buying an Exacta SIM card, at an absurd rate of $115 US for each one with credits. The lady told us it was the only sim card that works in Rio (which was not true). Even worse is that it is some international number so gaming with it where the girls would have to call/text you is ridiculously expensive. And the communication method is retarded - you have to call the number, it hangs up, summons a satellite signal or some shit, then calls you back. I am now disputing the charge on my credit card since it didn’t even work on top of this idiotic system. Just go to a TIM store when there and get a sim card for super cheap.
Also, the cab services there are a ripoff too we realized. Charged us a flat rate of 99 real to get to Ipanema, whereas the taxi we took back to the airport off the street was 65 real metered fare. So just jump in a cab that is metered would be my advice.
We bit the bullet and ponied up the money to stay in Ipanema, which was very expensive for New Year’s. We ended up renting an old lady’s 1 bedroom apartment for $240/night, and we’d alternate taking the bedroom (with the exception of whoever brought back a girl would get the bedroom). It turned out to be great, mostly given the location. We were right on Rua Visconde de Piraja, the main street in Ipanema. If you can swing it, stay in Ipanema. You are walking distance to Leblon and Copacabana, there is a metro station in Ipanema, it is probably the safest part of Rio (maybe that’s why I didn’t get robbed), best beach part, etc.
There are gyms everywhere, probably why every guy is so huge. We joined the Ipanema Sport Gym or something like that. Half a block from our apartment. A one-week pass was 170 Real. The gym though was pretty cool. Very hot girls working the front, water fountains/AC, wireless Internet, computer stations, secured bag check, etc. I’ve never seen girls doing squats with a barbell and weights, now I have. Bless those asses.
Women:
It’s been mentioned over and over again on the board, but they are great. Easily of the 50+ cities I’ve visited outside the US, the ones I like the most. They are not the hottest (Russia), or come in the most quantity of hotties (Argentina, Russia), etc., but for overall they may be my favorite. First off, portuguese is a sexy language. Their skin tones are great. Their asses are firm and functional, not like Medellin where they were just fucking fat asses if they had big asses.
Personality is awesome. They let you know if they like you. Makeouts are ridiculous here, so passionate and fast. An analogy I came up with is if you ever played with magnets you know once they get within a few inches of each other they just clasp together. If you are talking to a girl here and there is chemistry, as soon as you get your lips within a few inches you will be making out. Of course some of them are makeout bandits, so beware.
Youth. Partying, dancing, kissing, touching, talking with young girls is so much better than with older girls. So if you like 18-22, you will find it here. Truth be told though, they seemed harder to bang than their older counterparts (also something Roosh mentioned in his book). But grinding a 20yo from Floripa to forro and then have her initiate a makeout within 5 minutes is pretty damn sweet.
Cocky funny seems to work well here. My flag here came from a good dose of it early on. Story to be told in the nightly recaps. But the girls here get sarcasm, joking, teasing, etc. So long as you can communicate of course.
Most everything I did was at nighttime, there are an adequate number of places to go, although it is nothing like BA in terms of nightlife. And you really have to know where to go on what nights it seems.
Daytime it was raining every day almost so it was nonexistant. We went to Rio Sul shopping center our last day - it was super crowded so I guess you could do some daygame there if you wanted to.
Two unique observations I got from my 9 nights there: 1. For whatever reason, girls would tend to go out in groups of 3; time and time again my buddy and I would notice this as there would always be a 3rd wheel if we went up to a group of girls. 2. I’ve never seen so many hot/grenade combos; without question, if a hot girl was with another girl/girls, they were ugly. It was ridiculous how many times we ran into this phenomenon. Not exclusively, but more than not.
Safety:
Again, really not an issue. I was smart and didn’t sport my nice watch or carry my iphone 4 around, but nobody came up to me, nobody harassed me, etc. I did stay in Ipanema as I mentioned but I did venture out to Lapa, Leme, Copacabana at night, beach at night, etc.
Food:
Acai!!! There is a chain called Beach Sucos, that had a shop next to our apartment. We went there no exaggeration over 30x in our 9 days. So easy for a quick bite/drink. My favorites were Acai com banana, pessega (peach), mango, and banana. You can get these meat/cheese filled breads (called solgados) for 3.30 real which is less than $2. Great cheap food. Some more recommendations:
* Try Porcao once, the high end bbq. Endless food, come hungry, very hungry. All tourists. About $40/person.
* Braseria I think it is called in Baxia Gavea is an awesome churrsascaria. Have a local order the picanha meal for you. Get the yucca flour (called farafel I think) with the bananas in it.
* In Leblon there is a bar/restaurant called Jobi. Very small, worth the wait though.
* Gula Gula on the last street in Ipaneman on the border of Leblon. Great food, though a little pricey. We got the picanha steak there. Delicious.
* Endless amounts of coconut water straight from the source.
Nightlife:
Finally, a national drink I like. The caiprihnias or however you spell it is not that bad, cheap and very strong. it comes in a lot of varieties, but the original I liked the best. Anyway, off we go with the stories:
* Monday: Went to that restaurant in Baxea Gavea, sat next to a guy that we thought would know where to go that night. Well he told us to go to Nuth Lounge, so we went and it was atrocious. No girl under the age of 40. So avoid Nuth on Flashback Mondays my friends. Turns out when this guy added me on facebook I found out he was gay, so that may explain it. So we bounce from Nuth and head to Shennanigans. Meet a group of pretty cute girls from Sao Paulo. Mild flirting get their #’s and they leave. Meet a girl as it was closing who carried handcuffs with her, she seemed down but was already by her own admission going to some guy’s house to get boned. Decide to go home and right before we walk into the apartment there is a group of 5 people that grab us and invite us to go to the bar with them. This bar is Emporio in Ipanema, which you will eventually become very familiar with as everyone goes there at the end of the night if they are around. Plays american music, very crowded, popular with the hostel crowd. Not that great to be honest for picking up fresh. So this group of 5 is 2 gay guys, 1 quiet guy, and 2 girls. They are all coked out. The girls speak no english at all but the guys do. One of the girls keeps looking at me but we can’t communicate. Eventually at one point I see her alone outside so I go there and she drags me around the corner into an alley, starts making out with me and grabbing my dick. This continues for a few minutes then she points to her eyes and shakes her fingers no. I have no idea what this means. We go back inside and she completely ignores me. I still have no idea what is going on. We eventually leave as a group and go eat in Leblon, my buddy is now working on the other girl who seems interested. We get there and again no love from this psycho girl that dragged me in the alley. Finally I get her alone again and she puts a finger to her lips to say “shhh”. Finally I figure out the nongay dude is her boyfriend. Go figure. We bounce shortly after and go home.
* Tuesday: So first we tried going to Baronneti for ladies night, but it was closed. Right next to it was a place called Boox, and the talent was absurd. There were a few serious 10s and other 8s and 9s. There were also 5s there so it wasn’t a model factory but it did attract the best looking girls we saw in all of Rio. Nonetheless a ridiculous door policy, they were turning away the 10s. You needed a reservation as one super hot girl told us in line after translating for us and leaving herself. If you want the cream of the crop, this seems to be the place. But since we couldn’t get in, we went to Melt which is where those girls from Shennanigans were going. Met up with them and went inside, insanely packed. Also a large hostel crowd just beware, but many Brazilians too. Get inside, get some drinks and I notice this one girl kinda eyeing me. Eventually start chatting her up and again we have the language barrier although she does understand some Spanish. I’m basically with her the entire night - drinking, dancing, making out, grinding, smoking cigs, you name it. 5 straight hours of hanging out with her. About an hour before we left I got her to bring one of her friends for my friend and they started hitting it off. Around 5am I say let’s bounce to my place and they were both in agreement. So we all get in a cab, get to my place and we go in my bedroom. Then all of a sudden she asks me for money. I get real pissed and tell her fuck no. She then goes in spanish no its not for sex, its for my hair...my nails. I tell her I don’t care what it is for, I’m not paying. I was pretty damn upset, I really thought I just found a local that was into me. What I don’t understand was if she was whore why the hell did she spend 5 hours with me making out dancing etc and then only tried for money at the end? In the end we kicked both of them out but the weird part was the GIRL flipped out on me, and started calling me crazy and an asshole, etc. For a short while I thought maybe this is custom in Brazil that you pay for their hair/nails after sex? But after a quick google search and reality check I realized she is just nuts. Oh well.
* Wednesday: From speaking to a few locals, the place to go was Lapa and specifcally this Club Democraticos which had forro dancing. We get there, there is a line but it moves fast and you can get drinks from the street vendors while waiting. It is right next to a place called 40 degrees which had an immense line. We go into Democraticos and it is seriously the hottest places I’ve ever been. No joke, it was over 100 degrees in there, no ventilation. And for some unknown reason, I decided to wear a long sleeve tshirt that night. I was drenched, my buddy was drenched in sweat, everyone was. But it is supercheap and there are a good amount of decent girls here. Chatted up a group of girls from Floripa that were 20, asked one to teach me forro which she did (very kino based dance by the way), then she initiated a makeout. Unfortunately there were 3 girls to us 2 guys and they wouldn’t leave their friend, so we did not get far. But I really did enjoy the 15 minutes or so of continuous makeout with this cute 20yo. This was a good place for girls I’d recommend it. With some more effort and such you could do well here is my belief. People were coupling off left and right. But the heat got to us and we ended up bouncing and sharing a cab back with two girls that again fit into the grenade/hot girl mold. One hot, one atrocious. Sadly the hot one was feeling sick so we couldn’t convince her to come out and party.
* Thursday: We went to back to Baronneti. Not too much to say here, again a few more makeouts but was not able to close anything. We met these two Norweigian guys that were blonde as blonde can be and they were making out with two very hotties (again they like light skin here), but even they said later on the girls just made out and bounced. Left Baronneti, ended up running into one of those gay guys from the other night and went as a group to the beach to watch the sunrise. Lots of hookers hanging out there by the way. Met a couple of Irish girls that we chatted up but didn’t seem like that was going anywhere. Eventually went to bed at like 7am, but it was pretty cool to just walk to the beach to watch the sunrise.
* Friday: Lapa street party. Everyone should definitely go, it is quite the scene. People everywhere, drinking in the street, etc. Almost a mardi gras atmosphere to it. We tried to go to Rio Scenarium at around 11 or so, and the line was literally several hundred people deep. So we just gave up and walked around instead which was just as fun. Can meet girls, guys, etc. Met a group from Sao Paolo and parties with them during the night. We were having so much fun we didn’t really try to game many girls, more of a drinking and hanging out night. Highly suggest people go and experience this street fest which happens on Fridays.
* Saturday (NYE): Regardless of my ability to bone this night, I knew it would be unbelievable. First NYE abroad, on a beach, fireworks, people all wearing white, drinking freely, and David Guetta to top it off. We got ready and headed out of our apartment to go to Copacabana Beach, about a 20 minute walk to the area where we knew some people that were meeting up. Just a heads up, the Metro tickets actually sell out in advance so for anyone going on a major night, keep that in mind. Anyway we walked over to our area and people started to slowly filter in from our group. It was also raining a good amount so we had ponchos on. Not knowing we could bring our own alcohol, we first purchased beers then I made friends with one of the guys named Junior selling drinks, and he sold me a bottle of vodka for $20 US equivalent. Vodka is king in Rio for some reason. We meet two girls, one attractive the other not. As I alwasy do I introduce my buddy as Alejandro (triggers the Lady Gaga song from every girl without fail), and they guess my name as Roberto. Talk to them for a while, talk to others, etc. At one point I tried pouring a shot of vodka in my new friend’s mouth and poured it in his eye by mistake. The funny thing was he tried to wash it out with beer. People are all drinking and having a great time. Two other girls at this point were memorable. First, there was a drunken 40yo woman from the US with her husband or bf and she was falling all over the place trying to make out with anyone in sight. Pretty disgusting but entertaining. There was also another very hot sultry girl dressed in a lot of gold we called Goldmember, but I never got around to talking to her since I was occupied with these two other girls. So the night progresses, turns midnight and fireworks go off, which are pretty insane the level and grandeur of them. Of all the effin countries in the world not to kiss at midnight, it’s Brazil, go figure given how much they love making out here. They just hug each other. We stick around drink more then start our trek up to Guetta about one mile up the beach. As we are walking I start making out with the attractive chick, and my buddy is left with the one that looks like Shrek. Keep walking, piss in the ocean, meet some randoms along the way, finally get to the Guetta stage about 2am right when he is about to go on. My girl is in front of me, and my buddy stands in front of the other girl so that he doesn’t have to look at her in the face. That’s how bad she was, poor Shrek. At this point I’m drunk and handsy, so coupled with constant makeouts my hands are roaming around her dress to the thighs then some fingerblasting. Keep this going and she’s all for it, so I guide her hand down to my dick. I’m wearing board shorts so I was like whatever I just pulled it out and she starts jacking me, remember I’m right behind her in a large crowd so we were kind of just passing it off as watching the concert. Both facing front. My buddy tries talking to me and I just recall telling him quietly “shutup man I’m fingering her right now”. Ha. Keep listening to Guetta and going about what we were doing and I was just like fuck it, I’m going to go for it. So I slyly lift up the back of her dress and try to fuck her right there standing up both of us. I tried for like 3-4 minutes but the logistics would simply not allow for insertion without being obvious about what we were doing (i.e. I’d have to bend her over). So I’m trying and trying, my dick is out her dress is up in the back...for whatever reason I look to my right and this girl next to us has the most shocked look on her face - think cartoon style jaw drop. I can read her mind it was seriously something along the lines of I can read her mind it was seriously something along the lines of “oh...my...god, is this really fucking happening???” So I decide it would be a good time to just put the dick away and enjoy the show. That we do, show ends people start dispersing. She asks where I’m staying a hostel or something? And I say no I have an apt in Ipanema, let’s go there and chill. She agrees but we lose my buddy and Shrek, and unfortunately she has Shrek’s apt keys. So we trek over to Shrek’s place and my buddy is sitting outside. My girl goes in and gets her overnight bag and Hes is just upset about Shrek but being a great wingman saying you need to go with this girl now go go go. So we leave and my buddy takes Shrek to the beach or something. Unfortunately it is now 4:30 a.m. and there are literally over one million people in the streets. No way we get a cab, no busses, subways have a line of like 1 million people. So we walk, and walk, and the whole time I keep thinking this girl will just bail right now, so many obstacles. I even run into a pole with my foot wearing sandals and bruise the shit out of my big toe. Had to play it off as cool thank god I was drunk to numb the pain. Finally we go to one subway stop further, get on and she passes out on my shoulder for the ride. Get out walk to my apt she gets right on the bed and we bone, this is now like 6am. We pass out for a few hours, wake up around 10 and bone again. She showers and comes back and tries to start up again, I say come on I can’t I’m tired and hungover, and her response was “Don’t be a pussy.” So obviously I manned up and did it again. She showered again then left, walked her down to the subway station around noon and we made out there for a while, and she goes “great getting to know you Roberto.” (Ironically I wanted to get a daytime PDA makeout to get the full Brazilian experience.) And off she went. Came back inside and my buddy was very upset, he said he had to make out with Shrek and walk back alone for like 2 miles by himself at 6am. Great wingman, repaying me for what I did for him a week ago in Argentina. In the end, I’ve learned that Brazilian girls are awesome. Very sexual, very aggressive, very comfortable with sex. I want to go back.
Conclusion:
A lot of Roosh’s comments in his Brazil book are dead on. Brazilian girls are super sensual, very comfortable with sex, and love sex. Makeouts happen constantly. The guys are all huge and go to the gym.
I tried to go into detail about my nights to give somewhat of a feel as to what I experienced and what maybe some others would experience, rather than just a brief description of the nights. Any specific questions just ask, more than happy to help out.
I’ve been to about 54 cities outside the US now, and Rio is possibly the most fun I’ve had when you take everything into account. Granted, since I got a flag here I'm biased, but even without it was a great city. Definitely the girls are awesome as stated. Warsaw/Krakow comes in a close second in terms of girls and the level of fun. But man, every single guy should go to Rio - I can’t wait to go back and explore the rest of Brazil.
And now I know why everyone here loves Brazil.
Overview:
As I sit here slightly hungover from going out for the first time back in California after my trip, I cannot express how much I miss Rio. Simply put, I fucking loved Rio and I guess Brazil if this is what it is like. Again, it’s worth it to point out that Roosh’s Brazil book is extremely accurate. I highly suggest people read this and also do not gloss over any detail. I was there for 9 nights. Some general observations are as follows:
* The girls here are batshit crazy, in a good way. They drink, they have fun, they flirt, they do not play games, etc. The best way I can describe it is they are very comfortable with themselves and have a bit of aggressiveness to them. Physically, the highest quality girls I saw were in Rio over BA and Medellin. However, there were fewer overall hot girls in Rio than the other two. The biggest discrepancy was here, from nasty dark skinned fat chicks to supermodel 10s.
* The guys here are beasts. I’ve never seen so many goddamn bruisers in my life. I don’t know if they are on roids or what, but the sheer number of ripped meatheads is mind boggling. Even the nerds look like they can tear you up. Maybe it is the beach culture of Rio, I don’t know. Obviously they are not all bruisers, but there are a lot of them.
* Get ready to wait in line. For everything. It got to a point where I started taking pictures of the lines.
* More people speak english here than in Medellin and BA. A simple “Falla inglesh?” will quickly let you know if they speak english or not. Most people are very helpful and friendly and willing to help out. If they don’t speak english, they sometimes can speak spanish. So my follow up question was “Falla espanol?” They would speak spanish 50% of the time I’d say
* Despite the warnings and fears and stories, I did not get robbed. Didn’t even get close to being robbed at all.
* I can swear the cabbies take you around for a few extra miles to squeeze out more money. Roosh mentioned this in his book. After I got a layout of the land, a few times I know they took me around and around for no reason. But without the language not much you can do and it was only a few bucks, but still annoying.
* Juice it up. I had Acai every damn day, as well as 1-2 other juices per day. It’s awesome having fresh juice like that. Banana is very good too.
* I had more success than my friend, and even my friend noticed it too. I look 100% american, he looks persian/colombian. They like the light skin here.
* Skip Sugarloaf and just do the Christ statute. The views are better and more expansive at Christ than Sugarloaf. No reason to do both.
Logistics:
The international airport is located decently close to Ipanema where we were staying. But the Rio airport is full of scams. First, we were tricked into buying an Exacta SIM card, at an absurd rate of $115 US for each one with credits. The lady told us it was the only sim card that works in Rio (which was not true). Even worse is that it is some international number so gaming with it where the girls would have to call/text you is ridiculously expensive. And the communication method is retarded - you have to call the number, it hangs up, summons a satellite signal or some shit, then calls you back. I am now disputing the charge on my credit card since it didn’t even work on top of this idiotic system. Just go to a TIM store when there and get a sim card for super cheap.
Also, the cab services there are a ripoff too we realized. Charged us a flat rate of 99 real to get to Ipanema, whereas the taxi we took back to the airport off the street was 65 real metered fare. So just jump in a cab that is metered would be my advice.
We bit the bullet and ponied up the money to stay in Ipanema, which was very expensive for New Year’s. We ended up renting an old lady’s 1 bedroom apartment for $240/night, and we’d alternate taking the bedroom (with the exception of whoever brought back a girl would get the bedroom). It turned out to be great, mostly given the location. We were right on Rua Visconde de Piraja, the main street in Ipanema. If you can swing it, stay in Ipanema. You are walking distance to Leblon and Copacabana, there is a metro station in Ipanema, it is probably the safest part of Rio (maybe that’s why I didn’t get robbed), best beach part, etc.
There are gyms everywhere, probably why every guy is so huge. We joined the Ipanema Sport Gym or something like that. Half a block from our apartment. A one-week pass was 170 Real. The gym though was pretty cool. Very hot girls working the front, water fountains/AC, wireless Internet, computer stations, secured bag check, etc. I’ve never seen girls doing squats with a barbell and weights, now I have. Bless those asses.
Women:
It’s been mentioned over and over again on the board, but they are great. Easily of the 50+ cities I’ve visited outside the US, the ones I like the most. They are not the hottest (Russia), or come in the most quantity of hotties (Argentina, Russia), etc., but for overall they may be my favorite. First off, portuguese is a sexy language. Their skin tones are great. Their asses are firm and functional, not like Medellin where they were just fucking fat asses if they had big asses.
Personality is awesome. They let you know if they like you. Makeouts are ridiculous here, so passionate and fast. An analogy I came up with is if you ever played with magnets you know once they get within a few inches of each other they just clasp together. If you are talking to a girl here and there is chemistry, as soon as you get your lips within a few inches you will be making out. Of course some of them are makeout bandits, so beware.
Youth. Partying, dancing, kissing, touching, talking with young girls is so much better than with older girls. So if you like 18-22, you will find it here. Truth be told though, they seemed harder to bang than their older counterparts (also something Roosh mentioned in his book). But grinding a 20yo from Floripa to forro and then have her initiate a makeout within 5 minutes is pretty damn sweet.
Cocky funny seems to work well here. My flag here came from a good dose of it early on. Story to be told in the nightly recaps. But the girls here get sarcasm, joking, teasing, etc. So long as you can communicate of course.
Most everything I did was at nighttime, there are an adequate number of places to go, although it is nothing like BA in terms of nightlife. And you really have to know where to go on what nights it seems.
Daytime it was raining every day almost so it was nonexistant. We went to Rio Sul shopping center our last day - it was super crowded so I guess you could do some daygame there if you wanted to.
Two unique observations I got from my 9 nights there: 1. For whatever reason, girls would tend to go out in groups of 3; time and time again my buddy and I would notice this as there would always be a 3rd wheel if we went up to a group of girls. 2. I’ve never seen so many hot/grenade combos; without question, if a hot girl was with another girl/girls, they were ugly. It was ridiculous how many times we ran into this phenomenon. Not exclusively, but more than not.
Safety:
Again, really not an issue. I was smart and didn’t sport my nice watch or carry my iphone 4 around, but nobody came up to me, nobody harassed me, etc. I did stay in Ipanema as I mentioned but I did venture out to Lapa, Leme, Copacabana at night, beach at night, etc.
Food:
Acai!!! There is a chain called Beach Sucos, that had a shop next to our apartment. We went there no exaggeration over 30x in our 9 days. So easy for a quick bite/drink. My favorites were Acai com banana, pessega (peach), mango, and banana. You can get these meat/cheese filled breads (called solgados) for 3.30 real which is less than $2. Great cheap food. Some more recommendations:
* Try Porcao once, the high end bbq. Endless food, come hungry, very hungry. All tourists. About $40/person.
* Braseria I think it is called in Baxia Gavea is an awesome churrsascaria. Have a local order the picanha meal for you. Get the yucca flour (called farafel I think) with the bananas in it.
* In Leblon there is a bar/restaurant called Jobi. Very small, worth the wait though.
* Gula Gula on the last street in Ipaneman on the border of Leblon. Great food, though a little pricey. We got the picanha steak there. Delicious.
* Endless amounts of coconut water straight from the source.
Nightlife:
Finally, a national drink I like. The caiprihnias or however you spell it is not that bad, cheap and very strong. it comes in a lot of varieties, but the original I liked the best. Anyway, off we go with the stories:
* Monday: Went to that restaurant in Baxea Gavea, sat next to a guy that we thought would know where to go that night. Well he told us to go to Nuth Lounge, so we went and it was atrocious. No girl under the age of 40. So avoid Nuth on Flashback Mondays my friends. Turns out when this guy added me on facebook I found out he was gay, so that may explain it. So we bounce from Nuth and head to Shennanigans. Meet a group of pretty cute girls from Sao Paulo. Mild flirting get their #’s and they leave. Meet a girl as it was closing who carried handcuffs with her, she seemed down but was already by her own admission going to some guy’s house to get boned. Decide to go home and right before we walk into the apartment there is a group of 5 people that grab us and invite us to go to the bar with them. This bar is Emporio in Ipanema, which you will eventually become very familiar with as everyone goes there at the end of the night if they are around. Plays american music, very crowded, popular with the hostel crowd. Not that great to be honest for picking up fresh. So this group of 5 is 2 gay guys, 1 quiet guy, and 2 girls. They are all coked out. The girls speak no english at all but the guys do. One of the girls keeps looking at me but we can’t communicate. Eventually at one point I see her alone outside so I go there and she drags me around the corner into an alley, starts making out with me and grabbing my dick. This continues for a few minutes then she points to her eyes and shakes her fingers no. I have no idea what this means. We go back inside and she completely ignores me. I still have no idea what is going on. We eventually leave as a group and go eat in Leblon, my buddy is now working on the other girl who seems interested. We get there and again no love from this psycho girl that dragged me in the alley. Finally I get her alone again and she puts a finger to her lips to say “shhh”. Finally I figure out the nongay dude is her boyfriend. Go figure. We bounce shortly after and go home.
* Tuesday: So first we tried going to Baronneti for ladies night, but it was closed. Right next to it was a place called Boox, and the talent was absurd. There were a few serious 10s and other 8s and 9s. There were also 5s there so it wasn’t a model factory but it did attract the best looking girls we saw in all of Rio. Nonetheless a ridiculous door policy, they were turning away the 10s. You needed a reservation as one super hot girl told us in line after translating for us and leaving herself. If you want the cream of the crop, this seems to be the place. But since we couldn’t get in, we went to Melt which is where those girls from Shennanigans were going. Met up with them and went inside, insanely packed. Also a large hostel crowd just beware, but many Brazilians too. Get inside, get some drinks and I notice this one girl kinda eyeing me. Eventually start chatting her up and again we have the language barrier although she does understand some Spanish. I’m basically with her the entire night - drinking, dancing, making out, grinding, smoking cigs, you name it. 5 straight hours of hanging out with her. About an hour before we left I got her to bring one of her friends for my friend and they started hitting it off. Around 5am I say let’s bounce to my place and they were both in agreement. So we all get in a cab, get to my place and we go in my bedroom. Then all of a sudden she asks me for money. I get real pissed and tell her fuck no. She then goes in spanish no its not for sex, its for my hair...my nails. I tell her I don’t care what it is for, I’m not paying. I was pretty damn upset, I really thought I just found a local that was into me. What I don’t understand was if she was whore why the hell did she spend 5 hours with me making out dancing etc and then only tried for money at the end? In the end we kicked both of them out but the weird part was the GIRL flipped out on me, and started calling me crazy and an asshole, etc. For a short while I thought maybe this is custom in Brazil that you pay for their hair/nails after sex? But after a quick google search and reality check I realized she is just nuts. Oh well.
* Wednesday: From speaking to a few locals, the place to go was Lapa and specifcally this Club Democraticos which had forro dancing. We get there, there is a line but it moves fast and you can get drinks from the street vendors while waiting. It is right next to a place called 40 degrees which had an immense line. We go into Democraticos and it is seriously the hottest places I’ve ever been. No joke, it was over 100 degrees in there, no ventilation. And for some unknown reason, I decided to wear a long sleeve tshirt that night. I was drenched, my buddy was drenched in sweat, everyone was. But it is supercheap and there are a good amount of decent girls here. Chatted up a group of girls from Floripa that were 20, asked one to teach me forro which she did (very kino based dance by the way), then she initiated a makeout. Unfortunately there were 3 girls to us 2 guys and they wouldn’t leave their friend, so we did not get far. But I really did enjoy the 15 minutes or so of continuous makeout with this cute 20yo. This was a good place for girls I’d recommend it. With some more effort and such you could do well here is my belief. People were coupling off left and right. But the heat got to us and we ended up bouncing and sharing a cab back with two girls that again fit into the grenade/hot girl mold. One hot, one atrocious. Sadly the hot one was feeling sick so we couldn’t convince her to come out and party.
* Thursday: We went to back to Baronneti. Not too much to say here, again a few more makeouts but was not able to close anything. We met these two Norweigian guys that were blonde as blonde can be and they were making out with two very hotties (again they like light skin here), but even they said later on the girls just made out and bounced. Left Baronneti, ended up running into one of those gay guys from the other night and went as a group to the beach to watch the sunrise. Lots of hookers hanging out there by the way. Met a couple of Irish girls that we chatted up but didn’t seem like that was going anywhere. Eventually went to bed at like 7am, but it was pretty cool to just walk to the beach to watch the sunrise.
* Friday: Lapa street party. Everyone should definitely go, it is quite the scene. People everywhere, drinking in the street, etc. Almost a mardi gras atmosphere to it. We tried to go to Rio Scenarium at around 11 or so, and the line was literally several hundred people deep. So we just gave up and walked around instead which was just as fun. Can meet girls, guys, etc. Met a group from Sao Paolo and parties with them during the night. We were having so much fun we didn’t really try to game many girls, more of a drinking and hanging out night. Highly suggest people go and experience this street fest which happens on Fridays.
* Saturday (NYE): Regardless of my ability to bone this night, I knew it would be unbelievable. First NYE abroad, on a beach, fireworks, people all wearing white, drinking freely, and David Guetta to top it off. We got ready and headed out of our apartment to go to Copacabana Beach, about a 20 minute walk to the area where we knew some people that were meeting up. Just a heads up, the Metro tickets actually sell out in advance so for anyone going on a major night, keep that in mind. Anyway we walked over to our area and people started to slowly filter in from our group. It was also raining a good amount so we had ponchos on. Not knowing we could bring our own alcohol, we first purchased beers then I made friends with one of the guys named Junior selling drinks, and he sold me a bottle of vodka for $20 US equivalent. Vodka is king in Rio for some reason. We meet two girls, one attractive the other not. As I alwasy do I introduce my buddy as Alejandro (triggers the Lady Gaga song from every girl without fail), and they guess my name as Roberto. Talk to them for a while, talk to others, etc. At one point I tried pouring a shot of vodka in my new friend’s mouth and poured it in his eye by mistake. The funny thing was he tried to wash it out with beer. People are all drinking and having a great time. Two other girls at this point were memorable. First, there was a drunken 40yo woman from the US with her husband or bf and she was falling all over the place trying to make out with anyone in sight. Pretty disgusting but entertaining. There was also another very hot sultry girl dressed in a lot of gold we called Goldmember, but I never got around to talking to her since I was occupied with these two other girls. So the night progresses, turns midnight and fireworks go off, which are pretty insane the level and grandeur of them. Of all the effin countries in the world not to kiss at midnight, it’s Brazil, go figure given how much they love making out here. They just hug each other. We stick around drink more then start our trek up to Guetta about one mile up the beach. As we are walking I start making out with the attractive chick, and my buddy is left with the one that looks like Shrek. Keep walking, piss in the ocean, meet some randoms along the way, finally get to the Guetta stage about 2am right when he is about to go on. My girl is in front of me, and my buddy stands in front of the other girl so that he doesn’t have to look at her in the face. That’s how bad she was, poor Shrek. At this point I’m drunk and handsy, so coupled with constant makeouts my hands are roaming around her dress to the thighs then some fingerblasting. Keep this going and she’s all for it, so I guide her hand down to my dick. I’m wearing board shorts so I was like whatever I just pulled it out and she starts jacking me, remember I’m right behind her in a large crowd so we were kind of just passing it off as watching the concert. Both facing front. My buddy tries talking to me and I just recall telling him quietly “shutup man I’m fingering her right now”. Ha. Keep listening to Guetta and going about what we were doing and I was just like fuck it, I’m going to go for it. So I slyly lift up the back of her dress and try to fuck her right there standing up both of us. I tried for like 3-4 minutes but the logistics would simply not allow for insertion without being obvious about what we were doing (i.e. I’d have to bend her over). So I’m trying and trying, my dick is out her dress is up in the back...for whatever reason I look to my right and this girl next to us has the most shocked look on her face - think cartoon style jaw drop. I can read her mind it was seriously something along the lines of I can read her mind it was seriously something along the lines of “oh...my...god, is this really fucking happening???” So I decide it would be a good time to just put the dick away and enjoy the show. That we do, show ends people start dispersing. She asks where I’m staying a hostel or something? And I say no I have an apt in Ipanema, let’s go there and chill. She agrees but we lose my buddy and Shrek, and unfortunately she has Shrek’s apt keys. So we trek over to Shrek’s place and my buddy is sitting outside. My girl goes in and gets her overnight bag and Hes is just upset about Shrek but being a great wingman saying you need to go with this girl now go go go. So we leave and my buddy takes Shrek to the beach or something. Unfortunately it is now 4:30 a.m. and there are literally over one million people in the streets. No way we get a cab, no busses, subways have a line of like 1 million people. So we walk, and walk, and the whole time I keep thinking this girl will just bail right now, so many obstacles. I even run into a pole with my foot wearing sandals and bruise the shit out of my big toe. Had to play it off as cool thank god I was drunk to numb the pain. Finally we go to one subway stop further, get on and she passes out on my shoulder for the ride. Get out walk to my apt she gets right on the bed and we bone, this is now like 6am. We pass out for a few hours, wake up around 10 and bone again. She showers and comes back and tries to start up again, I say come on I can’t I’m tired and hungover, and her response was “Don’t be a pussy.” So obviously I manned up and did it again. She showered again then left, walked her down to the subway station around noon and we made out there for a while, and she goes “great getting to know you Roberto.” (Ironically I wanted to get a daytime PDA makeout to get the full Brazilian experience.) And off she went. Came back inside and my buddy was very upset, he said he had to make out with Shrek and walk back alone for like 2 miles by himself at 6am. Great wingman, repaying me for what I did for him a week ago in Argentina. In the end, I’ve learned that Brazilian girls are awesome. Very sexual, very aggressive, very comfortable with sex. I want to go back.
Conclusion:
A lot of Roosh’s comments in his Brazil book are dead on. Brazilian girls are super sensual, very comfortable with sex, and love sex. Makeouts happen constantly. The guys are all huge and go to the gym.
I tried to go into detail about my nights to give somewhat of a feel as to what I experienced and what maybe some others would experience, rather than just a brief description of the nights. Any specific questions just ask, more than happy to help out.
I’ve been to about 54 cities outside the US now, and Rio is possibly the most fun I’ve had when you take everything into account. Granted, since I got a flag here I'm biased, but even without it was a great city. Definitely the girls are awesome as stated. Warsaw/Krakow comes in a close second in terms of girls and the level of fun. But man, every single guy should go to Rio - I can’t wait to go back and explore the rest of Brazil.
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