[BortimusPrime]

Anyone have any advice for dealing with girls that seem interested but when you try to talk to them seem to clam up? Most of my game relies on getting the girl to start talking, and since I'm a pussy if I have to sustain the smalltalk on my own I eventually blank on shit to say, panic, and eject.

Now I know the most obvious answer to this is "she obviously wasn't interested", but in this case I didn't get that "I don't like you so I'm going to be a conversational dullard until you give up" vibe.

[Insignia]

I think build more comfort first is definately the right idea, and I also think that the reason why girls are nervous around you or they "clam up" is because you feel nervous. Remember the girl will feel whatever you feel inside of you first. So if you are confindent and is having fun then the girl will be exicited and will also feel like having fun, if you are sexual the girl will be sexual etc.

[Kickb]

Shy girls are a tough. I would just move on to girls who don't have problems expressing themselves.

[silent_scope]

^^ this goes back to the roosh post about choosing the best prospects.

Having dealt with a shy chick who was not giving me a clear go ahead or straight up rejection, I would say in the end it wasn't worth it.

[Openbar]

Ask for her opinion on Netflix subscriptions and cat food. She probably doesn't get out much.

Seriously, use an opinion opener that involves adopting an animal. If a shy girl isn't responsive to a story involving warm fuzzies, its going to be hard warming her up to you. Move on. (Unless you find rapport comparing your Netflix queues.)

[Docter]

I like how you guys are dismissing a shy girl because she's shy.

Call her out on it in my opinion, in a joking way that you think it's cute/endearing.

If your primary goal is to place your penis into a vagina, I agree with the above sentiment of moving on, but I personally like shyer girls as company.

[silent_scope]

Why else would we be even doing this if it wasn't to place penis into vagina? I got LJBF'd by more women than I care to count. Why stick around with the shy girl you get very little to no feedback from when there's a perfectly good slut lurking around the corner?

[Docter]

Edited to avoid pointless arguing.

to each his own, silent scope.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I like shy girls in principle because I'm repulsed by the other end (loud overconfident types), but that still doesn't mean jack shit. I can usually relate to them well in conversation and so on, but I'm a naturally touchy person and it frustrates me when they're cold and clammed up. They never express any affection. If they did and just said "I like you but I'm shy so let's not rush" I'd be fine with it, but that never happens.

Still, some do open up eventually. I think the hardest part is not ending up in the friendzone while you wait.

[BortimusPrime]

I dunno, my experience has always been it's the extroverted girls that do the most friendzoning. And extroverted girls tend to get on my nerves.

Ultimately I think it's her shyness bouncing back at me and throwing me off. I usually don't have trouble getting people to open up with chitchat.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Why is everyone dismissing a shy girl? being shy does not mean that she is not into intimacy, which is something else.

[Gmac]

Alcohol works best with shy girls in my experience. The drinks have to be deceptively strong, otherwise these girls often stop themselves. Share a long island with her.

As for the OP: You just need to come across as a fun and care free guy. Unless you're ridiculously good looking, girls won't generally clam up.

[BortimusPrime]

Well, then according to circular logic I must be ridiculously good looking. Excellent....

In retrospect most of my dalliances with introverted girls involved alcohol. And the single teetotaler exception was just absolutely brutal, every attempt to physically escalate would get just so far before the "oh crap I'm a slut if I'm doing this" reaction put the brakes on shit.

[Gmac]

Could be your physical escalation then. It could be that you A) go straight to heavier touching too quickly or B) she's not comfortable with you yet

[Deluge]

(11-07-2011 12:56 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Share a long island with her.

I feel the need to stress Gmac's point there. Long Island Ice Tea's hit you from nowhere. You don't even feel it until you stand up.

[BadgerHut]

(11-07-2011 04:27 PM)BortimusPrime Wrote:  

Well, then according to circular logic I must be ridiculously good looking. Excellent....

In retrospect most of my dalliances with introverted girls involved alcohol. And the single teetotaler exception was just absolutely brutal, every attempt to physically escalate would get just so far before the "oh crap I'm a slut if I'm doing this" reaction put the brakes on shit.

Late to this thread but I am with many of the guys that it's often not worth it. I regard really shy women as having priced themselves out of the market, being unable to connect conversationally with other people is a big marker of low value. A guy with game tight enough to break through that shell is a guy with enough easier options that he doesn't have to.

Other women will wring their hands and say she needs a guy who will accept her faults, but women aren't exactly gung-ho about accepting analogous faults from men.

Shyness and introversion are different things; I used to be shy but worked hard to correct it. It would be extreme to say shyness is a mental disorder, but it's something like that - an irrational phobia that will hold back your life. It's like being fat, you're just going to have a lower quality of life, and that means quality men won't hit on you because you don't respond to their game.

I know this sounds harsh but it's the exact thought process I went through when I decided to get control of ti years and years ago.

[Deluge]

You may often find that some shy socially awkward girls turns out to be easy fucks and freaks in bed once you've invested in them. Just beware the likely depression, cutting and personality disorders >.< Screen for that shit carefully early on.

[Clown]

(12-17-2011 09:45 PM)P Dog Wrote:  

You may often find that some shy socially awkward girls turns out to be easy fucks and freaks in bed once you've invested in them.

Yes indeed. Often shyness is just a defense mechanism to prevent people from finding out your dirty secrets, and like Eddie Murphy says its the shy girls with the most skeletons in their closets. "Some bitches got cemeteries in they closets!" lol Eddie speaks the truth.

You often seen shy, reserved Asian-American girls who have a cultural and familial mandate to be proper and refined young ladies in the patriarchal upbringing but who often harbor a deep-seated resentment towards the old-world values and traditions of their parents, especially when they see their white girlfriends having so much fun. This results in some of the most powerful latent lust and bedroom freakiness you'll come across. Its these girls that can go wild on strange white dick in college before they shack up with the nice Asian boy their parents set them up with. Trick is to break through their icy and stoic shy exterior to unleash the exotic sultry dragon lady within. The cliche of the exotic Eastern femme fatale is a cliche for a reason.

I think shy girls, while they can be a drag, are good to practice verbal game on. You're forced to do all the talking. This gives you the mindset of being socially dominant and the protector, which is the role you want to play with any girl.