I'm a 25 year old virgin, I had one peck on the lips when I was 17 when some guy dared a girl to kiss someone who was considered a creep on the bus and she said no but she'll kiss me instead. That was my entire resume of experience with women up until a few months ago.
I moved to NYC a few months ago with the intention of staying just a month or so with the sole intention of hiring a dating coach and working on my social life. I ended up extending my stay and its coming to a close yet again soon and I feel I've gotten no where.
I've heard the hardest thing is breaking the ice, I seem to have no problem with that most of the time (only time I do is when girl is hard to approach, eg sitting in cafe hard to get to surrounded by people) But I just start conversation then eject when my mind goes blank, I just have this pattern that I can't break. Even when a girl reacts favorably, is looking at me waiting for me to say something, I just feel awkward and uncomfortable and have this natural tendency to just leave. I'm really shy and once I'm in conversation I'm not even thinking about doing things I was taught to do such as flirt, but just please think of something to keep this conversation going. If it goes well I'll mumble a rehearsed line asking the girl out. But lately I haven't been able to get to this point at all.
I pretty much have all the time in the world, don't really have a job right now, and just walk around to a few places, open girls and then don't even transition. My coach is pretty frustrated with me, I've been working with him a few months and haven't gotten too far. At first he was understanding but got fed up at some point to where I now fear him. I wouldn't have been able to do this on my own as I would never have had the courage to even approach a girl without him pushing me.
Then I worry about the next step. I'm stuck on just having a conversation with a girl, how am I going to handle my other fears?
I'm 25 years old and don't know how to kiss...(actually had one kiss from the one girl I dated, I froze and let her kiss me as I just stood there not knowing WTF to do...)
I'm a 25 year old virgin, how will most girls react, will they laugh or will they just decide I'm not worth their time.
I'm really self conscious about my body, I used to be obese, have a bit of loose skin and big scars from a plastic surgery to remove some skin, will that be a turn off and will they find me disgusting?
Before getting into this those were my biggest fears, yet I can't even get to them...Its kind of depressing reading this forum and seeing how many "notches" everyone has and I can't even get to one after all these years. Just feel like I"m so far behind, like I'm a 12 year old stuck in a 25 year olds body.
Just transitioning into a conversation seems to be such a huge hurdle for me. I only have 2 weeks in NYC and am already kind of giving up in my head thinking if I haven't accomplished anything in months, won't accomplish anything in two weeks. On top of that don't know if I'll be able to have any success in other countries when I can't even do anything in an English speaking country...
Has anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice on how to progress?
I moved to NYC a few months ago with the intention of staying just a month or so with the sole intention of hiring a dating coach and working on my social life. I ended up extending my stay and its coming to a close yet again soon and I feel I've gotten no where.
I've heard the hardest thing is breaking the ice, I seem to have no problem with that most of the time (only time I do is when girl is hard to approach, eg sitting in cafe hard to get to surrounded by people) But I just start conversation then eject when my mind goes blank, I just have this pattern that I can't break. Even when a girl reacts favorably, is looking at me waiting for me to say something, I just feel awkward and uncomfortable and have this natural tendency to just leave. I'm really shy and once I'm in conversation I'm not even thinking about doing things I was taught to do such as flirt, but just please think of something to keep this conversation going. If it goes well I'll mumble a rehearsed line asking the girl out. But lately I haven't been able to get to this point at all.
I pretty much have all the time in the world, don't really have a job right now, and just walk around to a few places, open girls and then don't even transition. My coach is pretty frustrated with me, I've been working with him a few months and haven't gotten too far. At first he was understanding but got fed up at some point to where I now fear him. I wouldn't have been able to do this on my own as I would never have had the courage to even approach a girl without him pushing me.
Then I worry about the next step. I'm stuck on just having a conversation with a girl, how am I going to handle my other fears?
I'm 25 years old and don't know how to kiss...(actually had one kiss from the one girl I dated, I froze and let her kiss me as I just stood there not knowing WTF to do...)
I'm a 25 year old virgin, how will most girls react, will they laugh or will they just decide I'm not worth their time.
I'm really self conscious about my body, I used to be obese, have a bit of loose skin and big scars from a plastic surgery to remove some skin, will that be a turn off and will they find me disgusting?
Before getting into this those were my biggest fears, yet I can't even get to them...Its kind of depressing reading this forum and seeing how many "notches" everyone has and I can't even get to one after all these years. Just feel like I"m so far behind, like I'm a 12 year old stuck in a 25 year olds body.
Just transitioning into a conversation seems to be such a huge hurdle for me. I only have 2 weeks in NYC and am already kind of giving up in my head thinking if I haven't accomplished anything in months, won't accomplish anything in two weeks. On top of that don't know if I'll be able to have any success in other countries when I can't even do anything in an English speaking country...
Has anyone been in a similar situation and have any advice on how to progress?