[WesternCancer]

I invited this girl over to my place to watch the fireworks going on all over the city (romantic shit right, I should have proposed right there and claimed my everlasting love). Anyways she comes over is stoked on the fireworks and all of that.

I'll give you guys some background. We hooked up a few weeks ago, I got too beta/wimpy and she friendzoned me. I persevered and recovered she drunk texted me over the weekend saying "i want your dick" (I paraphrased that of course) anyways. The night before last she calls me at midnight, I go to her place we talk a while, she goes to the bathroom. I lay down and am pretty much passed out by the time she gets back. She kisses me while I'm pretty much sleeping (red flag?... I'll get back to you on that)

Anyways we get to making out last night and she just stops and starts asking me about my sign, I joke around with that one. She talks about sex, I don't let it phase me. Then she asks about relationships what kind of girls I like. I with the straightest face possible say "i like big butts and i cannot lie" and proceed to grab ahold of her magnificent ass. She asks about my ex and if im still in love and if i loved her, again joke around without a serious answer. She asks if I've kissed anyone since my ex, I laugh and say its complicated. After a long barrage of shit tests she finally gets fed up and asks me why I don't answer seriously.

She starts claiming that I'm insecure and am really still in love with my ex since I wont answer her questions. I say its nothing to worry about and begin the makeout. She says she has to leave. I persist. 30 mins later I ask her why shes still laying on my bed if she has to leave. etc. no bang she eventually 'really had to go'

The question I'm going to bring up from this story is as follows.

a) Is this a sign of crazy/clingy/needy if the girl is pretty much interrogating me.

b) is there a point in which one should answer a shit test/question about other lovers 100% seriously to avoid coming off as an asshole who doesnt take her seriously or insecure?

[Giovonny]

(11-01-2011 12:38 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

a) Is this a sign of crazy/clingy/needy if the girl is pretty much interrogating me.

She was interrogating you because she was thinking about banging you. This is a little different then "shit tests". This is "last minute resistance".

I think she just wanted to get to know you a little more before getting naked with you. She wanted to know your relationship status and where your head is at. Are you you just trying to get a ONS out of her or are you interested in more. These are the things that girls think about as they are getting ready to bang you. Typical "lmr". They do this sometimes. Just stay calm and tell them what they want to hear.

(11-01-2011 12:38 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

b) is there a point in which one should answer a shit test/question about other lovers 100% seriously to avoid coming off as an asshole who doesnt take her seriously or insecure?

Yes, when you are laying in bed with a girl about to bang her. At that point, its all about getting the girl comfortable. Its sounds like she wanted you to answer a few of her questions but you just changed the subject and laughed it off. You probably should have answered her questions more seriously. I'm not saying you had to 100% honest. But, at least you could have pretended to be serious so that she could get the answers to her questions. Joking around and changing the subject make her feel like you had something to hide, and scared her away.

You should just calmly answered her questions while gently stroking her hair or rubbing her shoulder.

You should have just told her what she wanted to hear.

[WesternCancer]

Thanks man. I think I was just relying on what I knew which is the initial gaming rather than bedding them. Didn't transition from cocky/funny to building comfort so she'll bang. Well at least now I know!

[XXL]

(11-01-2011 12:38 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

a) Is this a sign of crazy/clingy/needy if the girl is pretty much interrogating me.

she's not clingy/needy. she was just testing you hardcore to know who she would fuck. from what you wrote i guess you did that old "never give her real answer" thing for too long which came across as incongruent. IMO it would be much better to just answer honestly or at least say something that sounds like normal answer even if it's a lie. you crossed the line with too many jokes when she wanted to hear something real therefore she smelled incongruency cause you were clearly hiding something.

it's the same dorky fat kid who becomes class clown trying to overcompensate for his insecurities and softness. sure we like him he's funny but we all know that he's hiding his real personality behind the humour.

(11-01-2011 12:38 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

b) is there a point in which one should answer a shit test/question about other lovers 100% seriously to avoid coming off as an asshole who doesnt take her seriously or insecure?

i definitely think there is a point when it's good to drop that teasing bullshit and just talk to her. after all she only wants to see that you're real guy. not some oh yeah cool guy.

[Timoteo]

Those questions were definitely about sizing you up as relationship material. Yes, she was insecure, but women that are looking for boyfriends are vulnerable at the point where they're about to let you inside them.

I've gotten that "are you seeing anyone else?" question just before sex more times than I can remember. I got it from chicks in OTHER COUNTRIES, when there was no reason to believe we were about to embark on a relationship. It's almost a reflex, because most women don't want to know for sure that she's sharing you. At the same time, yeah, you need to get serious for a minute and just answer the question. You turned a YES into a NO! HA HA! A big part of dealing with women is tolerating shit we think is stupid for the greater good/big picture - namely saying what needs to be said to get some pussy, especially when you've got her in the bed and pretty much ready to let you in it.