I grew up as the fat poor kid, always picked on and developed a bad case of SAD. I lost weight end of high school but kept same victim mindset through college, even though no I wasn't made fun of once.
In the last year I've tried my hardest to step out of my shell. Last year I couldn't look people in the eyes and got really anxious and had trouble having conversations with anyone. A few months ago I moved to NYC to just work on my "game" and social interactions with intention of only staying a month and then traveling one location per month but kept extending my stay. I made a similar post on yelp a while back and had three girls message me offering help who wanted to hang out with me, one I never heard from again, one set up meeting then flaked and never heard from her again, and last one met me once briefly, setup second meeting and got stood up. Also tried meetup but found every meeting I went to just seemed like people trying to network with their businesses or whatever and felt so out of place since it felt like a party atmosphere and I was just a wallflower most of the time. At some point I just said fuck it in regards to making friends, and thought if I could get dates it would lead to fulfilling my social quota. Even though I've gotten the point where I can break the ice with some girls, I just have some patterns that I just eject a lot of conversations for no reason with the occasional good convo that leads to asking out, but have only had one girl who I have gone on a date with after months of practice. I've come a long way in a year but still feel like I'm a failure since I've only had on true date after nearly 6 months of day game.
When I looked for second sublet in NYC, one of the reasons I stayed was Halloween...I was doing well near the end of my first stay, getting numbers pretty much every day and thought I would be awesome by Halloween and it would be such a fun time. But a lot of them flaked and Hurricane Irene probably screwed up a bunch also and left city for 2-3 week hiatus and when I came back, after not practicing during that time felt like I was starting over. Now just have a couple more weeks left in the city, and Halloween weekend is now and I've made no progress, am alone and friendless, and getting really depressed about not doing anything on Halloween but watching other people enjoy themselves... When I've been in the city for the weekends (I don't think I stayed in NYC for the majority of the weekends I've lived here...) I've been depressed watching people go out as I wander around doing nothing. I don't even drink, and hate going to bars most of the time, yet feel left out seeing people go out to these bars/nightclubs/whatever. I'm really shy and feel weird going to these places alone on Friday/Saturday nights, I don't know if I should be or not, but am really self conscious about the fact I have no friends an no experience with girls.
I haven't really had a close friend since childhood, can never transition from acquaintance to friend (eg at gym where I used to live everyone hung out with each other after the gym and while they were all friendly to me at the gym I was never really invited out with them) I was just really desperate and posted an ad out of curiosity on craigslist with new email seeing if someone would respond but no bites. I've always heard its hard to make friends out of school, and don't really know how. Any ideas? Just sick of being alone.
In the last year I've tried my hardest to step out of my shell. Last year I couldn't look people in the eyes and got really anxious and had trouble having conversations with anyone. A few months ago I moved to NYC to just work on my "game" and social interactions with intention of only staying a month and then traveling one location per month but kept extending my stay. I made a similar post on yelp a while back and had three girls message me offering help who wanted to hang out with me, one I never heard from again, one set up meeting then flaked and never heard from her again, and last one met me once briefly, setup second meeting and got stood up. Also tried meetup but found every meeting I went to just seemed like people trying to network with their businesses or whatever and felt so out of place since it felt like a party atmosphere and I was just a wallflower most of the time. At some point I just said fuck it in regards to making friends, and thought if I could get dates it would lead to fulfilling my social quota. Even though I've gotten the point where I can break the ice with some girls, I just have some patterns that I just eject a lot of conversations for no reason with the occasional good convo that leads to asking out, but have only had one girl who I have gone on a date with after months of practice. I've come a long way in a year but still feel like I'm a failure since I've only had on true date after nearly 6 months of day game.
When I looked for second sublet in NYC, one of the reasons I stayed was Halloween...I was doing well near the end of my first stay, getting numbers pretty much every day and thought I would be awesome by Halloween and it would be such a fun time. But a lot of them flaked and Hurricane Irene probably screwed up a bunch also and left city for 2-3 week hiatus and when I came back, after not practicing during that time felt like I was starting over. Now just have a couple more weeks left in the city, and Halloween weekend is now and I've made no progress, am alone and friendless, and getting really depressed about not doing anything on Halloween but watching other people enjoy themselves... When I've been in the city for the weekends (I don't think I stayed in NYC for the majority of the weekends I've lived here...) I've been depressed watching people go out as I wander around doing nothing. I don't even drink, and hate going to bars most of the time, yet feel left out seeing people go out to these bars/nightclubs/whatever. I'm really shy and feel weird going to these places alone on Friday/Saturday nights, I don't know if I should be or not, but am really self conscious about the fact I have no friends an no experience with girls.
I haven't really had a close friend since childhood, can never transition from acquaintance to friend (eg at gym where I used to live everyone hung out with each other after the gym and while they were all friendly to me at the gym I was never really invited out with them) I was just really desperate and posted an ad out of curiosity on craigslist with new email seeing if someone would respond but no bites. I've always heard its hard to make friends out of school, and don't really know how. Any ideas? Just sick of being alone.
![[Image: carnegie.jpg]](http://thethoughthole.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/carnegie.jpg)
