[OlympusSquared]

So, just recieved Daybang. Its great material that actually adresses issues I was having with my day approaches before hand, namely jumping too quickly to personal topics...

I'm in graduate school, which means that I already spend a lot of time in coffee shops studying and writing papers. One problem that I'm wondering about is what to do about girls who are wearing headphones, which seems to be the case with about 60% of girls I see alone.

Certain girls have headphones in and appear completely fixated in their work, so these girls I probably would not open. But I've noticed plenty of girls wearing headphones that look around, stare into space, in other words show signs they are bored and might be open to a chat.

What's the best way to not 'scare the cat' in this circumstance. It seems like it might be too intrusive to tap her on the shoulder and ask her what she's working on or how she likes her laptop.

I could ask her what she's listening to, but that might be too personal.

Any suggestions on how to handle this very common situation?

Thanks,

J

[Mace]

Good question. I've always wondered why so many girls walk around/sit around with iPod earphones these days.

Almost every college-aged girl out in public alone - walking the streets, on public transport, at a coffee shops - has got on iPod earbuds. Why? Are they really that into their music? Status symbol? Or is it to deter random guys from approaching and chatting them up?

I don't see this phenomenon with guys nearly as much. Fewer than 1 in 3 the guys out in public has got on earphones and it's usually the herby beta guys that do. But among girls the vast majority do - and I doubt it's because girls love music so much more than men.

This is less common in Europe, it's mainly a North American phenomenon.

[Mace]

(10-24-2011 10:42 PM)Mace Wrote:  

Good question. I've always wondered why so many girls walk around/sit around with iPod earphones these days.

Almost every college-aged girl out in public alone - walking the streets, on public transport, at coffee shops, gym etc. - has got on iPod earbuds. Why? Are they really that into their music? Status symbol? Or is it to deter random guys from approaching and chatting them up?

I don't see this phenomenon with guys nearly as much. Fewer than 1 in 3 the guys out in public has got on earphones and it's usually the herby beta guys that do. But among girls the vast majority do - and I doubt it's because girls love music so much more than men.

This is less common in Europe, it's mainly a North American phenomenon.

[OlympusSquared]

(10-24-2011 10:42 PM)Mace Wrote:  

Good question. I've always wondered why so many girls walk around/sit around with iPod earphones these days.

Almost every college-aged girl out in public alone - walking the streets, on public transport, at a coffee shops - has got on iPod earbuds. Why? Are they really that into their music? Status symbol? Or is it to deter random guys from approaching and chatting them up?
I don't see this phenomenon with guys nearly as much. Fewer than 1 in 3 the guys out in public has got on earphones and it's usually the herby beta guys that do. But among girls the vast majority do - and I doubt it's because girls love music so much more than men.

This is less common in Europe, it's mainly a North American phenomenon.

Thats what I'm wondering. If its to deter guys, then I wonder how / if we can overcome that...

[Giovonny]

I have been experimenting with different things..

Eye contact and smile - Like saying "hi" without speaking. If she smiles back, go open her. If not, you can still walk over and verbally say "hello".

Be a little louder - Sometimes the volume on their headphones is very low. I have opened girls wearing headphones and they answered me without hesitation. I don't even think they had the thing turned on.

Fake it - Move your mouth like you are saying something, but don't actually make a sound. Does that make sense? Just "mouth" it, pretend to say something. Often times, they will take off their headphones and say "what", or "were you talking to me", or "excuse me". This is a good test to see if she is really listening to something or not.

The shoulder/arm tap - Risky, but ballsy. She has to respect your confidence for doing this, but it could scare her if your not careful. Don't do it from behind her. I like to use it when she is walking past me in the same direction. Probably should be your last option.

There is a time for all of these. Sometimes I use more then one in a single approach. Just ignore the fucking headphones and open her gently.

There are addicted to their phones because it simulates them. Facebook, internet, email, text, twitter, music, pics, all in the palm of their hand. They love that power on their fingertips. Also, They might be doing it to scare away alot of beta males.

[Roosh]

Did you get to the part on earphones in the public transportation chapter?

[Aliblahba]

I'll do like Gio and move my lips, or fake sign language.

[Giovonny]

I just read the "Day Game" page about earphones. Roosh makes an interesting point about girls wearing headphones sometimes being "starved" for social interaction. They have been in their own little world with their headphones on and sometimes they enjoy a man engaging them and bringing them back to reality. He also notes that they may be in a more relaxed mood since they have been listening to music for a while.

I myself have been pleasantly surprised by the response I've gotten from girls wearing headphones. I thought I would be interrupting them but usually its not a problem. Just don't scare them.

I think they respect the fact that I'm not intimidated by the phones. They know most guys are scared away by them. It a good opportunity to show them that you are different from other guys

[bez]

Being a dj im on the hunt for new music anyway so i just ask what they are listening to and how much they like it....

Its a genuine enquiry which i have a wealth of knowledge to ramble about so for me personally i dont find this approach hard at all.

Open game i say, just be tactful and polite.

[Fujiwara]

A little gesture as though I'm removing one invisible earbud from my own ear has worked for me.

[Riker]

My last day bang I just went ahead and didn't even acknowledge them. She had this Star of David necklace on and I asked if she was Jewish. She might have asked me to repeat myself and I did and that's it went on from there.

[StraightWarhol]

I've had no problem approaching. Just say your "excuse me" louder and wait a few seconds (in my experience there is usually a pause to deal with but keep making eye contact with her) before she finally gets that you're trying to talk to her. She'll take them off and talk. I've NEVER been ignored. Just don't ask a personal question about her.

If anything I notice most with headphones on are probably bored and dying to talk. They're more likely to be screwing around on facebook or looking at clothes than doing real work anyway.

(10-25-2011 11:12 AM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I just read the "Day Game" page about earphones. Roosh makes an interesting point about girls wearing headphones sometimes being "starved" for social interaction. They have been in their own little world with their headphones on and sometimes they enjoy a man engaging them and bringing them back to reality. He also notes that they may be in a more relaxed mood since they have been listening to music for a while.

I myself have been pleasantly surprised by the response I've gotten from girls wearing headphones. I thought I would be interrupting them but usually its not a problem. Just don't scare them.

I think they respect the fact that I'm not intimidated by the phones. They know most guys are scared away by them. It a good opportunity to show them that you are different from other guys

Agreed

[November]

I've always just motioned for her to take them off and then opened as usual. Works fine.

[Prowl]

When I used to commute on Metro and I saw a girl with headphones not sitting next to anyone, I'd sit down next to them with my own headphones in, nothing playing, pretending like I was just fucking jamming out to something, very exaggerated.

Sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn't, but it was always funny.

[Giovonny]

I would have run my normal "Headphones Approach" strategy..

Eye contact and smile - Like saying "hi" without speaking. If she smiles back, go open her. If not, you can still walk over and verbally say "hello".

Be a little louder - Sometimes the volume on their headphones is very low. I have opened girls wearing headphones and they answered me without hesitation. I don't even think they had the thing turned on.

Fake it - Move your mouth like you are saying something, but don't actually make a sound. Does that make sense? Just "mouth" it, pretend to say something. Often times, they will take off their headphones and say "what", or "were you talking to me", or "excuse me". This is a good test to see if she is really listening to something or not.

The shoulder/arm tap - Risky, but ballsy. She has to respect your confidence for doing this, but it could scare her if you're not careful. Don't do it from behind her. I like to use it when she is walking past me in the same direction. Probably should be your last option.

There is a time for all of these. Sometimes I use more then one in a single approach. Just ignore the headphones and open her gently.

I think they respect the fact that I'm not intimidated by the phones. They know most guys are scared away by them. It a good opportunity to show them that you are different from other guys

[XXL]

- Get in front of her or do something to catch her attention

- Hold eye contact

- Make the gesture like you're mimicking taking your headphones off your head

- Say something. The more personal the better IMO as it implies that you're interested in HER and that's the reason why you approach in the first place. But still relevant to the context. Like.. "Hey what are you listening to so attentively? I want to hear it too... I'm total music junkie... like sometimes I catch myself listening to some silly ass songs and rewinding them just because there were surprisingly cool moments... for real... come on let me hear you taste... do you have a good taste? Or is music your way of escape from everyday life?" Of course all with lighthearted and flirty tone. It's quite nice way of letting her know you're interested in her [out of curiosity or whatever] without stating obvious.

[Valhalla]

Gio the fake mouthing thing sounds very entertaining

Im going to try that out

[Giovonny]

(12-19-2013 02:24 PM)Valhalla Wrote:  

Gio the fake mouthing thing sounds very entertaining

Im going to try that out

Yeah, it's fun..

Just look her dead in the eye, smile, and pretend to say something..

Be very expressive, dramatic, and playful.

Then, BE PREPARED FOR HER TO REMOVE HER HEADPHONES AND SAY -- "What/excuse me/im sorry/were you talking to me?"

When she says this, you must have a good response ready. I like to say something like:

"are you listening to the Chili Peppers"
"are you listening to Miley Cyrus"
"there is something in your hair"
"what are you listening to?"

Something like that.

Make up something good that works for you.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(10-24-2011 10:42 PM)Mace Wrote:  

Good question. I've always wondered why so many girls walk around/sit around with iPod earphones these days.

Almost every college-aged girl out in public alone - walking the streets, on public transport, at a coffee shops - has got on iPod earbuds. Why? Are they really that into their music? Status symbol? Or is it to deter random guys from approaching and chatting them up?

I don't see this phenomenon with guys nearly as much. Fewer than 1 in 3 the guys out in public has got on earphones and it's usually the herby beta guys that do. But among girls the vast majority do - and I doubt it's because girls love music so much more than men.

This is less common in Europe, it's mainly a North American phenomenon.

I have an answer to your question more or less even though it is an earlier comment. I(before learning any form of game) always put them in to pass the time because the world seemed so boring and I always thought it would be creepy as hell to pick up random chicks that I didn't know. I put in headphones now because I make techno music(if anyone is interested PM me and I'll send you some) and it is a good way to notice what I am missing out on/need to improve on in terms of what I make, but ya in general it is because people find the current moment boring and you shouldn't hesitate to talk to them anyways.

[robreke]

what about ear plugs? ....not earphones.

It's more of a "don't bother me I want silence" message.

I am sitting by a cute girl in starbucks and barnes and noble. She's got earplugs in and is furiously working away on her school notes and has an iMAC.

anyone ever do this?

I'm gonna open her in a bit...

[Goldfinger]

(11-24-2014 04:06 PM)robreke Wrote:  

what about ear plugs? ....not earphones.

It's more of a "don't bother me I want silence" message.

I am sitting by a cute girl in starbucks and barnes and noble. She's got earplugs in and is furiously working away on her school notes and has an iMAC.

anyone ever do this?

I'm gonna open her in a bit...

She brought an "iMAC" to Starbucks??? by the way you spelt that, im going to assume you know the difference between a Macbook and and Imac.

Anyway, did you open?

[robreke]

(11-24-2014 08:53 PM)Goldfinger Wrote:  

(11-24-2014 04:06 PM)robreke Wrote:  

what about ear plugs? ....not earphones.

It's more of a "don't bother me I want silence" message.

I am sitting by a cute girl in starbucks and barnes and noble. She's got earplugs in and is furiously working away on her school notes and has an iMAC.

anyone ever do this?

I'm gonna open her in a bit...

She brought an "iMAC" to Starbucks??? by the way you spelt that, im going to assume you know the difference between a Macbook and and Imac.

Anyway, did you open?

Yeah...I meant MacBook. I did open.

Me" excuse me, is that a good laptop?
Her" Yes...it's good I like it.
I proceeded to ask her questions about it. She was an law student first year.
It was one of those approaches where I didn't feel "in state" She was giving me rather aggressive eye contact....which I perceive now as a good thing. Ir was as if she was at an interview and in rapt attention, awaiting my next question.
I sat down at an adjoining table to pretend to check out her laptop up close.
I should also add that I was feeling under the weather. I asked her about law school a bit. She was kind of giving short answers. She started fingering her ear phones that she had to take out and I just bailed.
"thanks for the laptop advice"
Her ...you're welcome.
Honestly, it was weak on my part. I could have done more with what I was given. She wasn't really biting on bait, but I didn't push near hard enough. I chalk it up to the combination of me feeling kind of tired and her not being too reciprocating.
As I drove away...I pondered the 2 or 3 conversation threads I could have thrown out there that would have possibly/probably worked. I'm sure we all do this after a failed approach.

[Goldfinger]

Don't beat yourself up about it. You made an attempt to open a woman with headphones and had a conversation. Thats a step in the right direction, I'm sure everyone on the forum learned to walk before they could fly. keep at it, as even the most seasoned guys here won't attract every girl they open.

With that being said, i think you were being a little too indirect and she could probably tell you were beating around the bush. Next time i would try something more direct.