[Horus]

A few years ago I got into an elevator, and two girls already inside started talking shit about me in a language they thought I didn't understand. As I reached my floor and the door opened, I let rip with a chocolate air freshener inside the elevator, while apologising profusely in their language. The muffled shrieks I heard after the door closed put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

[Going strong]

You should've accused these two Leftist cows of homophobia.

You should have been the one calling the police, claiming homophobia. After all, it is not gay people's fault if their unholy arses are so busted they can't hold on to their inner gas anymore . So, stop homophobia, shame to bigots who report farts!

[Foolsgo1d]

Should have chugged the shake and crop dusted their personal space for maximum rusttling.

[Lovinglife]

Make sure you record it next time! It would have gone viral in a heart beat.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(05-16-2019 05:00 AM)felix_vagabondo Wrote:  

(05-15-2019 06:21 PM)david.garrett84 Wrote:  

“Please go fuck yourselves,” I said nonchalantly to the girls at the end, in front of the police, who didn’t wince at my language [...]

If God were less twistedly cruel, these girls would right then and there walk through the doors of a total epiphany in their inner mental lives.

This would be the purchase of Red Pill.

Instead, these empowered brats will likely continue to build upon the lattice of rationalizations and denials that constitute the distorted fun-house mirror through which they attempt to make sense of the world.

Only an incident of the utmost irony and extreme absurdity can bring about the exhaustion of an SJW's ability to craft [i]ad hoc mechanisms for coping with the incongruence of reality[/i] and her belief system.

And even then I wouldn't bet on it, since the capacity to recognize irony varies directly proportionately to one's capacity to recognize reality, warts and all. This is the reason why the most insufferable, tyrannical types typically have no sense of humour.

[Matsufubu]

Dream scenario: another local gets up and shouts "No, I'm Fartacus!", then another stands up and shouts "No, I'm Fartacus!".

Repeat until the dumb broads get the message and leave.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

(05-16-2019 09:27 AM)Horus Wrote:  

A few years ago I got into an elevator, and two girls already inside started talking shit about me in a language they thought I didn't understand. As I reached my floor and the door opened, I let rip with a chocolate air freshener inside the elevator, while apologising profusely in their language. The muffled shrieks I heard after the door closed put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

[crystalcastle]

Funny, but damn are American women the worst. Terrible manners, ethos, and that nasally nails-on-a-chalkboard accent is the icing on the cake.

[kazz]

Classic! Im sorry, but I am glad that happened so you could come and share it with us.

American and German women are on another level of awfulness when they are travelling.

[armenia4ever]

Wait, this actually happened?

[RatInTheWoods]

Best fart story on the internet I read today.

your "#Phew-Too" Moment

[Huxley Badkin]

(05-15-2019 06:46 PM)david.garrett84 Wrote:  

A woman in Sweden called police after she reneged on sex plans with a man and he farted as he exited her apartment.

Lost it, right there. God bless you, man, I needed that laugh. Just beautiful, this entire thread.