[chvrches]

Do you ever feel empty after sleeping with a girl without having a connection with? The red pill makes it seem like it’s the best thing to spin plates, but I have no emotional connection with any of the women I sleep with. I desire them physically and decide to sleep with them. I haven't slept with many girls at all, this is not the point, the point is every time i sleep with these girls i feel more unhappy than i was prior to banging them.

I've tried to explain it to my friends, but none of them understand, we're in our 20s and everyone wants to be having sex constantly and fucking. They tell me im lucky i have beautiful girls wanting to sleep with me and shouldn't complain.

I don't know if something is wrong with me or if this is completely normal. I've banged 3 girls this month. And all 3 i felt shitty after. The sex wasn't bad, and the girls were really beautiful. But i feel like im doing something wrong. Something that goes against my morals. Before i got into game i promised myself, im not the type of guy that fucks around for fun. I need to have feelings for girls before sleeping with them. But that is no more once i got better at game and started attracting more girls. Maybe it feels wrong because im going against my own morals and values?

The first girl i banged this month was straight on the first date, and she's my "fuck buddy" now. Second girl i met at a party and was a one night stand, and the third girl someone from my work i would speak to once in a blue moon. Turns out she took a liking to me all this time but was shy to say anything. She was a virgin. I took her virginity. And felt so bad after it. Feel like i gave her a good first experience and was gentle, but now she wants way more than i do, (relationship) and i don't know how to get out of this situation.

I feel like im forcing myself to have sex with them, just for the sake of ego fulfillment and telling myself "my game is improving, look im laying new girls like it's nothing". I know 3 girls is nothing and guys start getting tired of the casual fuckery after fucking 50-100+ girls, but i feel like it's not the lifestyle for me. I really don't know.

The last girl i was genuinely looking forward to having sex with was a traditional girl who've had only 1 notch count and we went on 4 dates. This girl i genuinely enjoyed her company, it was a very good emotional connection before sex was even thought about. Could this be it? Maybe im more into LTR rather than casual sex with randoms? It's exciting and fun at the moment, the chase is nice, but the act itself leaves me more empty than anything. I come from a religious family and sex was a tabu we never talked about. There would be no sex before marriage they brought us up with. Could it be what's in the back of my mind guilt tripping me?

A recent example from literally yesterday, i brought a girl home from the nightclub. She could have been girl number 4 this month, but i literally couldn't get my dick up. She was stunning, and i wasn't nervous at all. It was embarrassing but it made me really think things through, WHY am i actually doing this? In the back of my head, i would rather spend the night with my friends at the club than be here with this girl right now. I was very into my head and couldn't fuck her.

[lika91]

Have you ever tried it with a man?

[nomadiam]

(04-27-2019 05:38 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

Do you ever feel empty after sleeping with a girl without having a connection with? The red pill makes it seem like it’s the best thing to spin plates, but I have no emotional connection with any of the women I sleep with. I desire them physically and decide to sleep with them. I haven't slept with many girls at all, this is not the point, the point is every time i sleep with these girls i feel more unhappy than i was prior to banging them.

I've tried to explain it to my friends, but none of them understand, we're in our 20s and everyone wants to be having sex constantly and fucking. They tell me im lucky i have beautiful girls wanting to sleep with me and shouldn't complain.

I don't know if something is wrong with me or if this is completely normal. I've banged 3 girls this month. And all 3 i felt shitty after. The sex wasn't bad, and the girls were really beautiful. But i feel like im doing something wrong. Something that goes against my morals. Before i got into game i promised myself, im not the type of guy that fucks around for fun. I need to have feelings for girls before sleeping with them. But that is no more once i got better at game and started attracting more girls. Maybe it feels wrong because im going against my own morals and values?

The first girl i banged this month was straight on the first date, and she's my "fuck buddy" now. Second girl i met at a party and was a one night stand, and the third girl someone from my work i would speak to once in a blue moon. Turns out she took a liking to me all this time but was shy to say anything. She was a virgin. I took her virginity. And felt so bad after it. Feel like i gave her a good first experience and was gentle, but now she wants way more than i do, (relationship) and i don't know how to get out of this situation.

I feel like im forcing myself to have sex with them, just for the sake of ego fulfillment and telling myself "my game is improving, look im laying new girls like it's nothing". I know 3 girls is nothing and guys start getting tired of the casual fuckery after fucking 50-100+ girls, but i feel like it's not the lifestyle for me. I really don't know.

The last girl i was genuinely looking forward to having sex with was a traditional girl who've had only 1 notch count and we went on 4 dates. This girl i genuinely enjoyed her company, it was a very good emotional connection before sex was even thought about. Could this be it? Maybe im more into LTR rather than casual sex with randoms? It's exciting and fun at the moment, the chase is nice, but the act itself leaves me more empty than anything. I come from a religious family and sex was a tabu we never talked about. There would be no sex before marriage they brought us up with. Could it be what's in the back of my mind guilt tripping me?

A recent example from literally yesterday, i brought a girl home from the nightclub. She could have been girl number 4 this month, but i literally couldn't get my dick up. She was stunning, and i wasn't nervous at all. It was embarrassing but it made me really think things through, WHY am i actually doing this? In the back of my head, i would rather spend the night with my friends at the club than be here with this girl right now. I was very into my head and couldn't fuck her.

If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. Simple as that.

[RDF]

If you don't like having casual sex with girls, then start pursuing other things.

There's been a plethora of these type of threads lately about how casual sex isn't satisfying. Nobody is making you have casual sex. If you aren't enjoying the fun of constantly meeting and sleeping with new women, switch it up.

Pick one girl in your rotation whose company you enjoy the most, and take her on a date that isn't just Netflix and chill. Go for a dinner out, or do some cutesy shit like walking in the park or going on the Ferris wheel, and see if it evolves into something more serious. Maybe it will. Or, maybe after a few months you will get tired of her and suddenly have the desire the bang other women again.

I'm assuming you're pretty young. That gives you the luxury of having more time to decide what you want. Just take it one day at a time.

[_Samo_]

Not every guy is meant to be a player, some are just not cut out for it. Maybe you're one of those guys. Don't force yourself to bang many random girls just because you read about other dudes on this forum or wherever are doing it. Follow the path you want in life.

From experience I have personally realised that banging allot of girls won't cover up other insecurities or things you're unhappy about in your life. You feel good for a few hours but then everything is as it were. Its all pretty meaningless, just ends up a story to tell to some buddies or post on a forum like this.

[chvrches]

(04-27-2019 06:12 PM)nomadiam Wrote:  

If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. Simple as that.

You're right, maybe i don't enjoy it. But i was wondering if there's a way to make it more enjoyable rather than a "task". So it's not all or nothing thinking.

(04-27-2019 06:17 PM)RDF Wrote:  

Pick one girl in your rotation whose company you enjoy the most, and take her on a date that isn't just Netflix and chill. Go for a dinner out, or do some cutesy shit like walking in the park or going on the Ferris wheel, and see if it evolves into something more serious. Maybe it will. Or, maybe after a few months you will get tired of her and suddenly have the desire the bang other women again.

I'm assuming you're pretty young. That gives you the luxury of having more time to decide what you want. Just take it one day at a time.

Maybe you can build on some connection outside of the bedroom with your plates that lead to more fulfilling sex inside the bedroom. This is actually GREAT advice. I will be trying this out. Thank you RDF.

(04-27-2019 06:17 PM)_Samo_ Wrote:  

Not every guy is meant to be a player, some are just not cut out for it. Maybe you're one of those guys. Don't force yourself to bang many random girls just because you read about other dudes on this forum or wherever are doing it. Follow the path you want in life.

From experience I have personally realised that banging allot of girls won't cover up other insecurities or things you're unhappy about in your life. You feel good for a few hours but then everything is as it were. Its all pretty meaningless, just ends up a story to tell to some buddies or post on a forum like this.

This is 100% accurate and my experience as well.

[bgbusiness]

I agre with what you have said and what others have said.
You don't have to sleep with girls if you don't want to.

Take a break from game if it makes you tired and come back later whenever you feel like it.

Two years ago around this time of the year, I had three friends with benefits and a ONS. I slept with four different chicks in a week. My ego was being stroked, but felt pretty empty after a while also.

It seems like you are pretty young like me so we got a lot of time.

[Pimping]

(04-27-2019 06:17 PM)RDF Wrote:  

There's been a plethora of these type of threads lately about how casual sex isn't satisfying.

Funny how Roosh goes all religious and then suddenly the views here change

All this "new" puritan cuckservative shit makes me barf

[HAcoreRD]

I can feel this too. When you bang girls you inevitably connect with them on some level (at least I do) and in most cases both of you have moved on before you know it. Even though the dating and sex itself is enjoyable, the constant move to new girls and discarding the momentary relationships you had with previous ones can make you feel a bit hollow. Sometimes I think to myself that I could've easily held onto a girl for longer but just moved on without giving it a second thought.

I don't really have plates either, so it's almost always a new chick, which probably makes it worse.

[Sgt Donger]

(04-27-2019 05:58 PM)lika91 Wrote:  

Have you ever tried it with a man?

I didn't see OP answer that question.

I mean it's perfectly ok to help guys come out these days, isn't it?

It's not that it's a problem or anything or err, what's the correct speak I'm supposed to say in these situations...

So OP, why don't you enjoy banging girls again?

[Remington]

It's all about the mindset. Some men fuck with no emotional attachment, others are looking for something extra.

I am one of the guys who is looking for that something extra.

It could be an LTR or marriage, all depends on your outlook on life.

Ideally, I would love to have a woman to spend the rest of my life with who is genuine and trustworthy.

Unfortunately, I have major trust issues due to my past and current experiences. So, I don't think that's in the cards.

The player's lifestyle is not for everyone, it's just how every man is hardwired. When you find that woman who will keep you satisfied physically as well as emotionally, you should take advantage.

Again, some men don't want that. You have to do some soul searching and find out what you want and what your goals are for life.

You're a young buck, learn through trial and error. Things will work out the way you want, just give it some time.

[Quizzical_2]

To me, when you reject religious values, it all goes downhill from there. Who can become king of the mud hill? It kind of reminds me of what Jesus said, "What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?"

[N°6]

I’d say a rising proportion of one date wonders or ONS, is due to women ghosting the day afterwards.

Sex doesn’t lead to a FWB or mini relationship like it did in the pre-smartphone era.

[SW15]

I think OP would feel worse if he weren't having sex at all. I think it is ok to spin fewer plates, but try to have a similar quantity of sex with fewer plates. Some people find that desirable. I think that scenario beats not having regular sex.

[asianirish1]

I experienced the exact feeling you are yesterday and debated making a thread myself.

You feel lethargic and an emptiness in yourself that cant be reasoned with, questioning the reasons why you even bother. Your upbringing may have made you value each human and in your mind you are essentially defiling these people, makes no difference weather they loved it or not. Sex isn't suppose to be an act of pure enjoyment, but a spiritual connection. Your feelings and mine may be the spirit punishing us for what we have done.

When your balls fill back up, youll wonder what the fuck you were thinking about be on the hunt again.

(04-28-2019 12:41 AM)Pimping Wrote:  

Funny how Roosh goes all religious and then suddenly the views here change
All this "new" puritan cuckservative shit makes me barf

Maybe he has opened some peoples minds who have been programmed themselves by the same feminist propaganda telling these sluts that ONS are cool and acceptable.

[ksbms]

Seems like a bit of ennui slipped into your life.

Cum hoc, ergo propter hoc fallacy (a variation of post hoc, ergo propter hoc)?

Assuming the girls are the cause of your mental state may not be the true cause - the reason for the ennui may lie in a different domain(s)?

[The Stronger Sex]

Who says you have to be in an LTR to "feel a connection"? Actually most girls sleep with me because they "feel a connection".

[No More Mr. Soy Boy]

I used to be like OP and started to feel like casual sex was pointless, so I started to seek more long term stuff.

But I started to realize that this "connection" that you are talking about and that everyone is talking about is just a blue pill thing anyway.

You see, YOU might think you are having a connection with a woman and that she's in love with you and that you two are in a meaningful relationship but men and women don't look at each other the same way.

Make this thought experiment:

If the girl you were having a "deep and meaningful connection with" suddenly found a great beauty cream that increased her SMV to become a solid 10 and she became a Victoria Secret model superstar tomorrow, that connection would soon no longer be. Most likely, she'd eventually ditch you for a famous great-looking actor with a lot of money (unless you already were that).

You see, a woman’s love is just fleeting, superficial and has no lasting value anyway, so how attractive does the idea of the trad life sound now?

Don't believe me on this? Check the divorce statistics.

I believe my ex was speaking the truth in that moment in February when I saw her all emotional and when she cried and told me that she loved me.
Only three weeks later she went ice cold after a silly argument though and the relationship was basically over after that. One childish argument away from becoming butthurt and leaving you is about as loyal as women are.
Have experienced the same with multiple other women and it doesn't matter what "game" you use even though some here sees the man's inability to game the girl properly to be the explanation to everything.

I believed I had to "form a tribe","build a family", "create a social community" and get in a "meaningful relationship with a woman" but it's as if I'm more and more starting to realize that I'm actually just chasing other men's dreams. A heavily romanticized dream about it.

I don't think all things in life necessarily must have a meaning. When you do something boring like buying groceries or brush your teeth I guess you never feel an overwhelming emptiness, so why do it when you actually experience the pleasure of fucking an attractive woman?

[spydersuit]

OP, I went through the same thing. It is really difficult to find women that you have chemistry with when sex is not the goal. I think this leads people to Black Pill kind of thinking. Everyone is disposable these days. Maybe scale back on banging randoms and focus on trying to meet women that you can connect with. My best relationships always began with great sex and grew from sex. Don’t invest too much into any 1 woman unless they invest in you. Maintain your ability to nail other women by establishing boundaries with women that are investing you after a few dates. Be open and talk about your other sexual exploits to drive their desire. This has 2 net effects: 1. It makes women compete and worker harder for your affection 2. Enables you to bang other women and play the field.

Most women understand that most men want to have sex with many women, and they have been brainwashed to believe that monogamy equates to love. You can show a woman that you care for her, and still have emotionless sex with strange women. Don’t ever give her the details, just elude that it happens. Over time, she won’t give a shit as long as you don’t fall in love, or exhibit behaviors that indicate that you actually care for these other women. If the woman is cool, and is sociable with other women, then she becomes a good candidate for a harem since 1. She feels very secure about the relationship already is ok with you banging other women, 2. She may like the security of knowing the women that you are banging. Women don’t want to worry about you bringing them back STDs and this is just a natural progression. Obviously, this can be hard to pull off. I was only able to get to the harem stage once in my life and then I fucked it up.

I guess the point is that the process described above helped me get over the same issues that you are having. Hopefully this anecdotal experience helps you find a solution to the emptiness that can sometimes accompany banging strange. For me it was finding a girl to commit to while still being able to bang strange on occasion with no guilt.

[RatInTheWoods]

I am the same as you OP, I much prefer to have mini relationship, or LTR - this is always by far the best sex for me, connected, comfortable and experienced with each other.

Just change your chase to women you can connect emotionally to, and bang when you feel excited about it.

You will still need game and the lessons learnt on this forum.

You don't have to seek anal and choking on the first date or next them, just because that's what some of the guys here prefer to do, its horses for courses.

[spydersuit]

Well stated Ratln

[tomzestatlu]

I have been pursuing LTR until 25. Then I started to spin plates and I understand what are you talking about and I feel it the same.

But,
it´s better to bang than not to bang.

I am open to meeting awesome and beautiful girl, that I will share my life with. This what I do now isn´t something fullfiling, but life´s about discovering. Both banging sluts or serious dating is just something, that leads you to something else. There´s not definitive answer to any situation.

Just pursue quality and not quantity. This might help.

[MichaelWitcoff]

"There is a hole in the heart of man that only God can fill."

+ St. Augustine

[NonDrifter]

Happens to the best of us. I remember when I thought I got tired of sleeping with women I started getting in “mini relationships” while I learned a lot I realized I prefer my freedom and having options.

Instead of just casual sex try hooking up with girls you like more, who you can actually enjoy a conversation with.

You may have to search far and wide and/or maybe change your location but they’re out there.

[Batman_]

It's probably a good idea to have sex with couple dozen or so girls just so you can have some experience and stop putting pussy on a pedestal.

After that, it's up to you if you want to continue. I do really hate how having as much sex with as many women as you can is assumed to be the best thing you can do with your time and energy. I mean if you can do it with very little investment, sure, but that's rarely the case.

Seems much better imo to have a rotation of high quality women who don't require much attention. Or just having a LTR with someone you genuinely enjoy being around.