[Zoso]

Or in other words, how to make this girl See the reality?

To make it short: I am 'dating' a single mom for almost 4 months (no, i dont think LTRing her at all) and I enjoy the time with her. Almost no shit tests and she is really caring.

However, some day she said me something like: you should feel lucky to have a girl like me, I will give you inconditional love. You are fortunate.

And me thinking 'wtf? You have a 5yo kid! The lucky girl is you because almost all men run away from you or want just use you!.
It was before going to have lunch so i smiled and said her 'ok, i dont deserve you, you are toó good for me. Let other man be lucky with you '
She smiled and then said 'we have to go because we have already planned that'. I managed it well i think

But, she has said that a couple times again.
What would you say to a girl like this, But being smooth, clear and hard at the same time?
I dont want humiliate her (she had enough with the dad cheating on her and leaving her no matter a kid involved) but I want to make her clear I am really aware of her condition in SMP and if there is someone making a favor, its me.

Ideas?

[kinjutsu]

Leave.
4 months is long enough to have your fun with her.
Get out of there before you knock her up and she wants to keep it and at the same time get you to pay for her 5yr old.
She's shit testing you to see if she can turn you into a beta provider and ALSO get pregnant by you.

Just leave now before you are unable to and legally obligated to have her in your life for the next 18yrs.

[Zoso]

^^^^^
I think I can have fun for moreless a pair of months more. She even could be a good plate, due to her busy schedule and that we have determined days to go out and to have sex. However, I will keep your advice in mind absolutly.

I just wanna know how to say something that brings her to earth and not sounding degrading (even though it could be indeed) or how to return the 'shit test'(if it is).

[kaotic]

kinjutsu is mostly right but I'll answer this about shit tests in general.

The women who are the most vocal about being the best you'll ever get and you should be the thankful are the ones who have the LEAST to offer you.

They're openly voicing and projecting their insecurities by saying the opposite.

She's literally selling and qualifying herself to you by saying she's so worth it, she's so loving, etc.


I love shit tests, because I can bust balls like no other and shut shit down, in a funny hilarious way that will have a girl slapping my arm teasingly.

Remember you gotta say this with a smirk or grin and be heavy on the sarcasm.

"I should feel lucky? Weird, I sure don't, more like cursed or trapped?"

"Lucky? I'm pretty sure I settled for next best hahaha"

"I think you're confused, I'm pretty sure you mean you're lucky to have me"

"Weird I didn't know today was opposite day!"

"Lucky? If I had a dollar for everytime a girl told me that...."

"What makes you so lucky to have.....it must be ass...uh I mean personality"


These are just a few off the top of my head I'm using, but you get the idea - counter her statement, put her ego in place, make her laugh, and carry on.

The more you do this the less shit you'll get in the future.

[Hombre de hielo]

In Brazilian realism, realists choose not to relate to women with children, as it can create a legal bond (to be recognized by the courts as a father and having to pay pro-coupled pension after a separation with his mother).

[Gorgiass]

So what if her man cheated on her? The fix for this is every day in the subtext of your interactions. You're the man, set the frame and lead her where you want to go. You're getting this because you're not leading in the relationship or busting her balls enough. Be less approval seeking in your words and mannerisms and you won't have to say anything because she wouldn't be saying it in the first place.

First response that comes to my mind is "Unconditional love? Pfft that's nothing. Hook me up a threesome with your sister and then maaaaaybe we can talk about being fortunate". I say shit like this all the time in my current relationship. If you said it from the position you're in now it probably wouldn't go well, but if you work up to the point where you can get away with saying something like this, you'll never hear about how fortunate you are again.

[RatInTheWoods]

Depends if her frame is insecurity or arrogance.

If it is insecurity, then just say "keep looking after me, and I'll keep looking after you"

If it is arrogance she needs a reality check: "There's a line up a mile long of single milfs that would love to be looked after by a man like me"

[Zoso]

(04-26-2019 06:30 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

kinjutsu is mostly right but I'll answer this about shit tests in general.

The women who are the most vocal about being the best you'll ever get and you should be the thankful are the ones who have the LEAST to offer you.

They're openly voicing and projecting their insecurities by saying the opposite.

She's literally selling and qualifying herself to you by saying she's so worth it, she's so loving, etc.


I love shit tests, because I can bust balls like no other and shut shit down, in a funny hilarious way that will have a girl slapping my arm teasingly.

Remember you gotta say this with a smirk or grin and be heavy on the sarcasm.

"I should feel lucky? Weird, I sure don't, more like cursed or trapped?"

"Lucky? I'm pretty sure I settled for next best hahaha"

"I think you're confused, I'm pretty sure you mean you're lucky to have me"

"Weird I didn't know today was opposite day!"

"Lucky? If I had a dollar for everytime a girl told me that...."

"What makes you so lucky to have.....it must be ass...uh I mean personality"


These are just a few off the top of my head I'm using, but you get the idea - counter her statement, put her ego in place, make her laugh, and carry on.

The more you do this the less shit you'll get in the future.

This is great! Kaotic..

That was exactly I was looking for.

[Zoso]

(04-27-2019 12:17 AM)Gorgiass Wrote:  

So what if her man cheated on her? The fix for this is every day in the subtext of your interactions. You're the man, set the frame and lead her where you want to go. You're getting this because you're not leading in the relationship or busting her balls enough. Be less approval seeking in your words and mannerisms and you won't have to say anything because she wouldn't be saying it in the first place.

First response that comes to my mind is "Unconditional love? Pfft that's nothing. Hook me up a threesome with your sister and then maaaaaybe we can talk about being fortunate". I say shit like this all the time in my current relationship. If you said it from the position you're in now it probably wouldn't go well, but if you work up to the point where you can get away with saying something like this, you'll never hear about how fortunate you are again.

I think it's not like that.
Almost all her shit tests I have answered well. I know it has to end even before things started. I dont have fear of leaving her. I have even many phrases ready to be used the day I end things.
But now, i just wanna kill her ego.

It has been 3 times in 4 months, so its not that much. First time I managed well, and the others I just smiled and said 'oh Yes, of course'..

[Zoso]

(04-27-2019 02:22 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Depends if her frame is insecurity or arrogance.

If it is insecurity, then just say "keep looking after me, and I'll keep looking after you"

If it is arrogance she needs a reality check: "There's a line up a mile long of single milfs that would love to be looked after by a man like me"

I can assure this is insecurity. She has the profile of tender/inocent girl. She got pregnant because being stupid. She is not arrogant at all.
The first line seems like my líne.
I wanna save your second líne for the final day. It's just hard reality

Thanks RITW!

[Darth]

There is no such thing as a "girl" or "woman" or anything female "seeing" empirical reality.

Even female science types can only do this in their professional lives. In their personal lives they revert back to normal.

What they think/believe is a real to them as the ground beneath your feat. It's a difficult leap for men to realize this is true and yet it is true.

(04-26-2019 07:23 AM)Zoso Wrote:  

Or in other words, how to make this girl See the reality?

To make it short: I am 'dating' a single mom for almost 4 months (no, i dont think LTRing her at all) and I enjoy the time with her. Almost no shit tests and she is really caring.

However, some day she said me something like: you should feel lucky to have a girl like me, I will give you inconditional love. You are fortunate.

And me thinking 'wtf? You have a 5yo kid! The lucky girl is you because almost all men run away from you or want just use you!.
It was before going to have lunch so i smiled and said her 'ok, i dont deserve you, you are toó good for me. Let other man be lucky with you '
She smiled and then said 'we have to go because we have already planned that'. I managed it well i think

But, she has said that a couple times again.
What would you say to a girl like this, But being smooth, clear and hard at the same time?
I dont want humiliate her (she had enough with the dad cheating on her and leaving her no matter a kid involved) but I want to make her clear I am really aware of her condition in SMP and if there is someone making a favor, its me.

Ideas?

[Bienvenuto]

Your problem is that you are slumming it.

You are settling for second best. <Maybe for temporary, understandable reasons.

You are not the only one.. but this is what comes with it, more and more shit tests, less and less feelings of power.

Goethe talking about going balls out, all the way ambition..

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back--
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."

Sounds great.

Every time we maintain a semi-shitty plate (and a single mother is by definition aiming low) the opposite happens,

we get stuck in the mud,
we settle for less, we put up with more shit,

..and women on a cellular level remind us of the truth of this.

[Zoso]

(04-27-2019 08:30 AM)Darth Wrote:  

There is no such thing as a "girl" or "woman" or anything female "seeing" empirical reality.

Even female science types can only do this in their professional lives. In their personal lives they revert back to normal.

What they think/believe is a real to them as the ground beneath your feat. It's a difficult leap for men to realize this is true and yet it is true.

Its actually true, but relative.
I can understand girls because Many times I am like them. I can repeat me some idea forever until I really believe it. Its not just a girl's thing, but mainly they are like that. And sometimes they are capable of seeing reality as well. Another thing is that they will repeat the oposite till death. I can understand that.