[bruce_almighty]

So I have an older brother 10+ years older than me.

When I was a teenager me and him had this shared hobby to build and fly radio controlled planes and we spent a lot of time together either building/repairing or flying those planes on the weekends in the field, we had a community, that was way before drones became popular.

He used to treat me like real shit. Called me names, complained about shit, if I had success in something he would say it's because I'm lucky or spoiled.
If I'd try to consult with him about a business idea he would immediately shut me down and say that I'm spoiled and don't appreciate what I have.
If someone at the family dinner table would say something nice about me he would raise his voice and start to shout why it's not true and neither me or anyone else would respond. And the list goes on and on...

I always kept in touch with him whether through familiy reunions or just a cup of coffee together every now and then. But since learning game and being red-pill aware it became less and less because I realized he was poison for me.

I'm 32 now.

About a year and a half ago I've managed to save fuck-off money thanks to stock market investments and I quit my engineering job and started travelling in Latin America.
At first, I was so relieved just not being in an office with losers and feminists, learning spanish, meeting new people, girls.
After a while I realized that I had to get my shit together or else the money will run out and I'll go back to the same miserable office life.
About 8 months ago I started working on my own project that will hopefully get me started on an independent location free life.

Throughout that time is when anger started to surface. I would start to think about my brother and all the shit he'd done to me. I started thinking about other people and the shit they've done to me.
I also had in this time 2 meaningful business related relationships that removed every little piece of beta that was still left in me.

I've come to terms with the shit people have done to me in life and I just don't make contact with any of these people anymore and with my life experience I will put myself in better situations in the future and avoid these things alltogether.

One thing I can't replace though, is my family.

My lousy cuckold of a brother got married to a 230 pound woman when he was 24.
He studied some shitty degree in the university and barely made above minimum wage. Nevertheless he still managed to buy a car, a house and keep going with his expensive hobbies due to fundings from his mother in law.

Now thanks to years of fundings he has a business and he's back on his feet. Still owns a fuck-ton of money to banks for loans and mortgage and married to a land whale with 4 kids but in his point of view he's living la vida loca.

I've never really confronted him. I'm a changed man now. Nobody talks shit in my face. But this shit with him was left unresolved. Since I've tried to stay away from him to get my shit together, he was left unaware of my change, even though a physical change is very noticeble.

A few weeks ago he posted in our familiy chat group something about a new app in the app store that he recommends. I decided to respond and ask some questions about this app, like what are the advantages over the competition? I knew it would make him snap and he will not miss the oportunity to put me down. So of course I was right and he said that there are a fuck ton of engineers like me and all you need is a good idea for an app and bla bla, without answering my questions.

This time, I decided to kick him in the balls in front of everybody. Saying that his shitty degree means nothing and other bad stuff.

He got so insulted and said that he would not continue the discussion in front of his wife and kids.

I could have gone a lot far than that, like saying how he married a whale and shit. Infront of his whale wife and everybody else.

I've sent him a private warning message and he blocked me.

my parents called me and said that I've crossed the line (not like I give a shit what they think).

The thing is, I'm probably gonna go back to my country to visit and take care of some stuff pretty soon, and I'm gonna have to see this guy one way or another.

What would you guys do? Now that I've realized all the shit that happened and he did and his behavior, should I confront him and show him who the new boss is?
Or should I let it go?

[trickster]

You are still a beta. But at least you are a Jew.

[scotian]

Next time you're at a family function, get on the whiskey, maybe a bit of cocaine too and confront your brother in front of everyone. I recommend doing it outside and challenging him to a fight, if he backs down then I'd still smash him in the face anyway, for all the shit he's put you though.

It's the only way you'll ever find closure.

[DarkTriad]

The best revenge is living well. Just show up with some beautiful girl from South America and everything else will take care of itself. It will eat at him like nothing else. Especially if you don't alienate your parents because it forces him to socialize with your new girl.

[bruce_almighty]

(04-17-2019 10:27 AM)trickster Wrote:  

You are still a beta. But at least you are a Jew.

Let's meet and I'd give you some of my 250 pounds 6'6" jewish beta in your face.

[Long Haired Samson]

I would love to see the look on your brother's face if you showed up with a tall, hot, 22 year old Columbian, Argentine, or Brazilian chick on your arm!

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

It's beta to hold grudges for decades. If you have abundance in life, things like this won't even make you mad, bro.

Work on getting the abundance, not on resurrecting beefs from when you were a child.

[Atomic]

Quote:

He got so insulted and said that he would not continue the discussion in front of his wife and kids.

I could have gone a lot far than that, like saying how he married a whale and shit. Infront of his whale wife and everybody else.

It's a shitty thing to talk down to a man in front of his family.

Move on with your life. If you really want some type of revenge, the best revenge is success. Grow your business, bang hotties, go on adventures, post pics of it all in the family chat.

[Aurini]

Watch this video:

I'm of a choleric temperament. As such, I'm easy to get along with as long as A) you do what you're told, and B) you don't insult me. Violate either of those and it really pisses me off. Put simply, humbleness and patience are not amongst my innate virtues. Ergo, I'm working on fostering those virtues; I'm trying to adopt a sanguine temperament.

One thing I've been noticing - as I let insults slide, and I try and be patient with fools and idiots - is that I'm realizing that none of the people are truly my enemies. If I allow the initial anger to dissipate, I suddenly realize that the reason they were attacking me had nothing to do with me. It varies, but either they were envious of what they imagine me to be, or they were putting me down due to a desire for social climbing (ie popularity amongst people I don't want to be popular with), or they simply lacked the wherewithal to meet the standards that I hold others to - and can you really blame somebody for being retarded?

Fighting with them would have been - has been - counter-productive for me on so many levels. I win nothing, and I waste time.

Look at your brother. Is he really your enemy? Is all of his bullying because he wanted to hurt your? Or because he's jealous of you? Do you truly want anything that he has? It sounds like he's living a pretty miserable life. How does 'getting revenge' on him make your life any better? How much time will you waste, how many others will you alienate, in the process?

Are you actually Jewish? This humbleness may be difficult for you, then. Pray for God to show himself to you; tell him that you want Logos, and see what happens. Stop trying to be on top of every pecking order.

[ThriceLazarus]

Watch out, we’ve got a real badass over here.

For real, Bear-Jew, confronting your brother in this way isn’t going to settle your spirit. It’s these sort of childhood relationships that shape us, deep-seated traumas that run beneath the concious mind - like an undertow.

You’re seemingly trapped in that confrontational undercurrent. It’s entirely understandable, life-long patterns are hard to even recognize, let alone break. When you’ve been in this state of mind your entire life you don’t know anything different - does a fish know what water is?

The horrible part is his actions have been entirely unconcious as well. I don’t know your relationship, you, or him, however I can see how he would be resentful of you and your success, as well as your company when you two were younger. He’s ten years older than you, so it’s not outrageous to think that, at times, you were a little shit, annoying and testing. You were a child!

You’re a man now. And so is he. Yet you seemingly cling to the past - unfortunately, it may be a larger part of your identity than you realize. The weight we burden ourselves with.

Let it go. It’s far easier said than done, but he’s not the same kid and neither are you. He has a family, a business, and though your critical eye can so easily tear down his accomplishments, they are accomplishments all the same. You’re intelligent, world-traveled, successful in your own right. While the hope of rectification is a sweet draw, feeding into that worn-out dynamic brings you back into that place.

Family is tough. You’ll always be the younger brother, to him, to your parents. That’s life - your life. And while you can’t control exactly how all these people - these tenuous ties - see you, you can certainly color it. Paint within the lines.

“That’s my younger brother!”

Is it said with a sneer or a smile? That’s your choice.

[eradicator]

I would have said to fuck his woman but you mentioned he is ten years older than you.

Honestly you are still acting like a little bitch.

Stop spending time thinking about things that happened 10 or 20 years ago. Your brother isn’t your friend. Forget him

[Aurini]

(04-17-2019 10:35 AM)bruce_almighty Wrote:  

(04-17-2019 10:27 AM)trickster Wrote:  

You are still a beta. But at least you are a Jew.

Let's meet and I'd give you some of my 250 pounds 6'6" jewish beta in your face.

QED. Is Trickster really your enemy? That sort of response risks getting you banned from the forum for being anti-social. Would it be worth it? Or can you just ignore anonymous strangers on the Internet?

[Laner]

Your brother hurt you because he saw things in you that he could not have. He is the beta, so he made you into one too.

It can be common with much older brothers. By the time you start turning into a man, they already recognize that they are losers. So why not try and fuck up their little bros chances while they wallow in their loserdom.

I second Scotian's advice tho. Get in his face, throw down, then go for a beer after. Tell him the rage you feel but you guys were young and didn't know how fucken hard life can be. Tell him he's family, you love him, but knocking him on his ass felt amazing and it might happen again. But you don't want it too.

It saddens me a bit, as I know other brothers who are very similar and are formidable teammates.

[bruce_almighty]

It's more complicated than that.
Like I said, it's not just some asshole who bullied me when I was young and I can just let it go.
This is my brother and I have to see him and confront him whenever I see my family.
He still acts like a fucking moron trying to put me down and I used to ignore it up until the very day I left on a plane to travel. But since I'm a changed man now and I'm sure some shit from him will come one way or another, I'm thinking whether or not to confront him, give him a punch hr can't forget so he will not act like this ever again, instead of just sitting there waiting for an opportunity or worse, ignoring his shit like a pussy.
Let me say this again, his shit is not something in the past, it's something that's still going on the only difference is that now I try not to talk to him because he's just bad vibes but like I said, I can't avoid him forever.

[ThriceLazarus]

“It’s more complicated than that.”

Oh, of course. These kinds of sibling squabbles have drawn entire nations into bloody war. It’s entirely real, more than any of us can know, as it’s also so subjective and painfully personal.

From what little you’ve given us, we can see that your brother has got your number. He knows where your buttons are, and I have a feeling you’ve felt his out too.

Whatever you do, it is pertinent to rise above it. You’re in the machine right now, you’re just as much a cog as he and your family are. The grooves are well worn, the responses are automatic.

Detach yourself from that conditioned emotional response. As long as you’re operating within that frame the dynamic will perpetuate - I imagine you can see how the confrontation you mentioned merely set the dredel spinning faster.

Something needs to shake up the energy. A man to man argument, an all out brawl, a heart to heart conversation blubbered out over a beer. All of the above - that’s how we men managed the emotional mind before technology fucked us all up.

However, if you don’t change the emotional energy you’re bringing into this conflict you’re probably going to get the same result.

It’s entirely possible that the dynamic is beyond fucked - people become addicted to their conditioned responses, there’s a point where they become them and there’s nothing you can do to break the pattern. At that point you can only cut your losses.

I used JBP’s advice, as much maligned as he may be here, to mend my relationship with my younger brother - don’t say anything about yourself to them, remain cordial, and watch them like a hawk.

Over a year, animosity became peace, and peace has become amicability.

Good luck, Bear-Jew!

[Laner]

(04-17-2019 12:06 PM)bruce_almighty Wrote:  

It's more complicated than that.
Like I said, it's not just some asshole who bullied me when I was young and I can just let it go.
This is my brother and I have to see him and confront him whenever I see my family.
He still acts like a fucking moron trying to put me down and I used to ignore it up until the very day I left on a plane to travel. But since I'm a changed man now and I'm sure some shit from him will come one way or another, I'm thinking whether or not to confront him, give him a punch hr can't forget so he will not act like this ever again, instead of just sitting there waiting for an opportunity or worse, ignoring his shit like a pussy.
Let me say this again, his shit is not something in the past, it's something that's still going on the only difference is that now I try not to talk to him because he's just bad vibes but like I said, I can't avoid him forever.

Exactly. That is what the punch is for. Everything else I said was to address the history, which YOU need to come to terms with before smacking him.

[nirala]

Your brother seems like the family favourite. You don't have a good relationship with him and it seems like you don't have a good relationship with other family members either. I don't think you can do much about this besides reducing interaction with him.

The fact that your parents never confronted your brother all these years when he treated you badly but they called you to tell you that you've crossed a line because you disrespected him once, must tell you that he's their favourite. And I won't be surprised if they tell you to apologize to your brother when you visit them.

This brother of yours blocked you and didn't take your shit once while he kept disrespected you all your life.

If you're okay with risking a falling out with your family, I'd advise you to tell them how you feel. Next time you visit your brother and family, tell them how he has treated you all your life and you don't appreciate it. Tell them that you won't take his shit anymore and if he's not okay with it then he should fuck off.

[Irenicus]

Dude, first thing of all, calm the fuck down. If some n00b has pissed you so much with his comment, then you, as others have said before, still have some beta tendencies. Get rid of them. B'seder?


Now...back on the topic. I will suggest a rather...unorthodox idea.


I don't know about you...but take a look at yourself. At the moment, you are in South America. Over there, I presume you are sleeping with quite attractive girls. You (still) have fuck you money. I guess you also work remotely. In short...you are living life.


Now...contrast your situation with your brother's.


He is in huge debts, from what I have seen (and in Israel, a decent apartment for a family of 6 is EXTREMELY expensive, a few million NIS in decent area). He has to get up every work day, and spend a lot of time in the traffic jams. He has to suffer drama from his wife and four kids. And worst of all...he has to fuck that hippo every time (for fuck sake, she is 230 pounds!).


In short...he ruined his life SO, SO much! Without you moving a finger!


Same thing happened to most of the people that have bullied me as a kid (yes, I keep tabs on them). Everyone that used to make fun of me is either fat or miserable. Sometimes both. For example, one guy that was threatening to beat me during most of the high school is now bald, fat, married to a landwhale, and working a shitty job in Ireland. He looks miserable. If I ever had to beat him to death (I could beat him with my left hand), I would actually do him a favor. Instead, I lift, own two online hustles, did my military service (in our army, by the way), enjoy life, and young senoritas. And I am debt-free.


So...what to do?


Ignore your brother, let him "enjoy" his miserable life, and do your thing. If he throws shit at you, just remind him of his life ("I am fucking thin Latinas, and you are fucking an elephant, haha. Loserloserloseer!!!"). He'll shut up, guaranteed. If he psychically attacks you (high possibility, gamma is strong in him), it's time to put your 250 pounds to good use... .

[Kentemo]

Just move on. Seems like you still care. '

Be the bigger person. There's no need to bring another person down (especially your brother) if it doesn't improve your own life.
There's always going to be people like that. Family or friends.
Truth is you probably did already better than them, no need to rub it in their faces. That's just not very attractive.

He might have a shitty job, shitty wife, he might be an asshole. But that's his life.

[EwartGrogan]

The comment about app was weak af passive-aggressive bait and you know this. That was a family chat for boomers not a tech reddit thread about the best technology. An older brother is a strong figure for our primal instincts and it's clear that his vicious influence has deeply damaged your psyche. Inside you're still a younger brother seeking validation of your actions from him as can be judged by the length you go to describe your achievements and describe your brother as a looser to strangers on internet. Everyone is a hero of his own story and you won't get over all of what has happened if you don't challenge him. There's no shame in punching another man in his face if he pulls such shit to humiliate you and I believe that will be the only way for you to go to confront him physically. However, all that will be pointless if you are still going to be stuck in your younger brother mentality and act only on behalf of grudges held for decades and other petty emotions. I'd suggest watching Godfather to look up for some more positive archetypes of behavior my dude. Everything you need to know is there. You must realize that the older brother is not a figure given by God and it is to be challenged if circumstances need it. After all Michael was the youngest of the four sons of Don Corleone. After realizing this you must first of all stop feeding him with your energy and attention. Treat him with the same indifference you'd treat chicks you have in your rotation; would you get angry if one of them sent you a text that you're a dick and she doesn't want to know you or rather respond with 'k babe'? Would you seek a revenge if she cheated on you? No, jokes are on her - you've been doing this for months. You get the gist. Secondly challenge him openly in the same way you'd challenge a guy hitting up on your girl in front of you in a bar if he crosses the line again. Tell him to fuck off or whatever feels appropriate. You shouldn't get physical right off the bat (and you genuinely shouldn't feel an urge to do so if things don't ask for that - such urge is a sign that you still need to work on your inner game so to speak). But if he doesn't step off then beat the shit out of his fat ass. There's a great difference in this attitude and mischievously provoking a conflict to take your revenge like a little girl

[bruce_almighty]

My best revenge will probably be like people mentioned here, to live the best life I can.
Once my business starts kicking, it will be too much for him to handle anyway.
If I had all up and running he would probably be of no importance to me, but EwartGrogan here was right. Subconciously I am seeking validation from him and it should stop. Although close familiy should be your number one source of validation and motivation in my honest opinion, I must realize that it's not my case and it won't come from him no matter what and if anything, just bad vibes.
I guess all I can do now is focus on my private shit and if anything gets thrown my way, he'll get a kick in the balls.
After a few times like that he'll get the idea.

[Gameplan]

(04-17-2019 03:12 PM)EwartGrogan Wrote:  

The comment about app was weak af passive-aggressive bait and you know this. That was a family chat for boomers not a tech reddit thread about the best technology. An older brother is a strong figure for our primal instincts and it's clear that his vicious influence has deeply damaged your psyche. Inside you're still a younger brother seeking validation of your actions from him as can be judged by the length you go to describe your achievements and describe your brother as a looser to strangers on internet. Everyone is a hero of his own story and you won't get over all of what has happened if you don't challenge him. There's no shame in punching another man in his face if he pulls such shit to humiliate you and I believe that will be the only way for you to go to confront him physically. However, all that will be pointless if you are still going to be stuck in your younger brother mentality and act only on behalf of grudges held for decades and other petty emotions. I'd suggest watching Godfather to look up for some more positive archetypes of behavior my dude. Everything you need to know is there. You must realize that the older brother is not a figure given by God and it is to be challenged if circumstances need it. After all Michael was the youngest of the four sons of Don Corleone. After realizing this you must first of all stop feeding him with your energy and attention. Treat him with the same indifference you'd treat chicks you have in your rotation; would you get angry if one of them sent you a text that you're a dick and she doesn't want to know you or rather respond with 'k babe'? Would you seek a revenge if she cheated on you? No, jokes are on her - you've been doing this for months. You get the gist. Secondly challenge him openly in the same way you'd challenge a guy hitting up on your girl in front of you in a bar if he crosses the line again. Tell him to fuck off or whatever feels appropriate. You shouldn't get physical right off the bat (and you genuinely shouldn't feel an urge to do so if things don't ask for that - such urge is a sign that you still need to work on your inner game so to speak). But if he doesn't step off then beat the shit out of his fat ass. There's a great difference in this attitude and mischievously provoking a conflict to take your revenge like a little girl

Agree completely with this.

You're a better man than him, living a much better life than him, and I'm sure he knows it. He's right to be butthurt. I recommend adjusting your attitude and take his venom as what it is: jealousy and a validation of your success and superiority.

[trickster]

If you kick him in the balls or punch him in the face, you’ll probably end up arrested, which is beta. This story doesn’t make too much sense without knowing why your parents hate you.

[Kona]

(04-17-2019 10:35 AM)bruce_almighty Wrote:  

(04-17-2019 10:27 AM)trickster Wrote:  

You are still a beta. But at least you are a Jew.

Let's meet and I'd give you some of my 250 pounds 6'6" jewish beta in your face.

See how easy that was, my Talmudic friend?

That's the kind of thing you need to say to your brother. You should have done it years ago.

Aloha!

[trickster]

^^ How can I like this post from my phone?