[pirate]

I will offer you this advice: if mining is at all something you can see yourself doing, that would suit you fantastically. These jobs on sites across Africa have Fillipinos, Aussies, Brits and Americans earning $4-5k p/m (tax free). Your living costs and flights are covered (the rotation is typically 6 weeks on, 3 weeks off). I haven't been on any sites there but I suspect the same type of roles exist in South America (though I suspect they'd be less well paid)

Try to look at the positive side of your situation- you have a girlfriend whom you presumably love and a child on the way that you (hopefully!) want. I am at a stage where I'd happily wife up and father children with the first decent girl that comes along, but prospects are looking poor.

[lavidaloca]

@Ringo was moreso aiming my comments regarding private schools towards North American Private schools where the public school system is just fine. (Atleast in middle class areas where I'd assume the OP would live)

In some other countries as you've alluded to it may be worth it though.

I agree in entirety with your post.

[El Mono]

(02-13-2019 02:26 PM)pirate Wrote:  

I will offer you this advice: if mining is at all something you can see yourself doing, that would suit you fantastically. These jobs on sites across Africa have Fillipinos, Aussies, Brits and Americans earning $4-5k p/m (tax free). Your living costs and flights are covered (the rotation is typically 6 weeks on, 3 weeks off). I haven't been on any sites there but I suspect the same type of roles exist in South America (though I suspect they'd be less well paid)

Try to look at the positive side of your situation- you have a girlfriend whom you presumably love and a child on the way that you (hopefully!) want. I am at a stage where I'd happily wife up and father children with the first decent girl that comes along, but prospects are looking poor.

Absolutely, I am super excited about the girl I have and the child that's on the way. It's a really happy time for me. I am an optimist and a realist. I want to give my child the best life possible, but at the same time I don't need any luxurious living.

I have a few ideas I think will work very well and given that I have some time I should be okay. I do want to be there with her for support. We both have family that is willing to help us if it really came down to it but I don't think we will need it besides babysitting.

I'd be interested in mining. Sounds pretty cool.. I wanted to get into some sort of trade, as i love working with my hands, but now I have to figure out what to do while I'm staying with her.

[General Stalin]

(02-13-2019 12:10 PM)El Mono Wrote:  

(02-13-2019 11:36 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

O/T, but how does someone with no skills and no job afford to do anything, let alone travel constantly? OP, how do you put food in your own mouth, clothes on your back, and airplane seats under your butt?

I never stated that I don't have a job/I've done plenty of online work while living abroad. I was able to live very well, I'm just tired of that line of work. I just don't have any real skills or a job that transfers in THE USA besides culinary/restaurant management skills. Airplane seats are pretty easy to come by. I may have family who have worked in the airline industry. There's always a way. I've done well but as I said did not plan on this happening.

And no this was not a "careless, ONS drunken mistake". We have known each other for many years and traveled all over SA. Her birth control failed (or perhaps there was a day where she skipped) and this is what I'm dealing with. We both feel that an abortion would not be a good idea, and I feel ready to grind it out and get to where I need to. We just found out and have quite some time to get things together. She has a great job in Peru and has decent savings.

I also didn't state that I have no savings, I just am not IMO financially where I need to be. I want to be comfortable. I will most likely go back to what I was doing earning $20/hr online (not much but enough). And then just think about what to do. There's always a way for the positive thinker.

If that's the case then listen to king bast: you don't need to be "financially comfortable" to raise a child.

Case in point: millions and millions of poor people take care of their kids every day and they find a way to do it without having much money in the bank living paycheck to paycheck and hustling here and there when they can.

I also agree that it is a myth that you need a lot of money to raise a child that is perpetuated by white middle class western-world folks.

[worldwidetraveler]

If you're making 2k online then you must have some marketable skills otherwise you wouldn't be making money. Maybe look at what you are doing and figure out what skills you could attain in order to build into a more profitable gig or business. Meaning, if someone is paying you then look into what they are doing and how you could segway into doing something similar making you the boss. It may actually be easier and quicker to do than getting into something totally different like teaching.

[El Mono]

(02-13-2019 11:36 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

If that's the case then listen to king bast: you don't need to be "financially comfortable" to raise a child.

Case in point: millions and millions of poor people take care of their kids every day and they find a way to do it without having much money in the bank living paycheck to paycheck and hustling here and there when they can.

I also agree that it is a myth that you need a lot of money to raise a child that is perpetuated by white middle class western-world folks.

Thanks, ever since hearing the news.. a fire has been lit that didn't really exist before. I'll make it work. I feel lucky to be in the situation I'm in even though I don't have everything together quite yet.

[El Mono]

(02-13-2019 03:49 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

If you're making 2k online then you must have some marketable skills otherwise you wouldn't be making money. Maybe look at what you are doing and figure out what skills you could attain in order to build into a more profitable gig or business. Meaning, if someone is paying you then look into what they are doing and how you could segway into doing something similar making you the boss. It may actually be easier and quicker to do than to get into something totally different like teaching.

I do have some marketable skills and have done well, but the thing is I don't enjoy the work so much and could see myself possibly giving it another 2-3 years tops. I have a lot of contacts that are willing to help out in the USA, the problem really is just getting there. I know nothing about getting the spousal (k-1) visa. But I'm sure I could email somebody or call about it. I hear it can take up to 8/9-11 months.

I'm also not really sure about the financial aspect of it. I'll talk to someone about it.

[BossOfBosses]

(02-12-2019 10:19 PM)king bast Wrote:  

Dont worry, its a myth that kids take a lot of money to raise. The ol' "wait till youre financially stable" trope is just a way to stop whitey reproducing. Dont fall for it.

Have child.
Work as usual and take any advancement/hustle opportunities that arise.

It's that easy.

How do you even know he's white? lol.

Some real weirdo's with goofy conspiracy theories on this forum.

[worldwidetraveler]

(02-13-2019 03:56 PM)El Mono Wrote:  

(02-13-2019 03:49 PM)worldwidetraveler Wrote:  

If you're making 2k online then you must have some marketable skills otherwise you wouldn't be making money. Maybe look at what you are doing and figure out what skills you could attain in order to build into a more profitable gig or business. Meaning, if someone is paying you then look into what they are doing and how you could segway into doing something similar making you the boss. It may actually be easier and quicker to do than to get into something totally different like teaching.

I do have some marketable skills and have done well, but the thing is I don't enjoy the work so much and could see myself possibly giving it another 2-3 years tops. I have a lot of contacts that are willing to help out in the USA, the problem really is just getting there. I know nothing about getting the spousal (k-1) visa. But I'm sure I could email somebody or call about it. I hear it can take up to 8/9-11 months.

I'm also not really sure about the financial aspect of it. I'll talk to someone about it.

Linux was right about the income requirements. You can get someone who makes more money to sign as well. You're putting them on the hook, though, if your wife was ever to end up on any type of welfare.

I'd try to stay with her and make this online gig work. Even if it means taking it up the ass for a couple of years. You can still work on other skills or hire people to do the stuff you don't like.

Getting her to the US will cost money. Getting setup with a car, insurance, apartment, health, furniture, travel costs and so on will make a huge dent in any savings you have if you relocate back to the US. Then look at your wife being alone and isolated without her family. There will be a adjustment period that won't be pretty.

[Duke Main]

I'm not suggesting this, just throwing it out there. What about getting a masters degree (English) at a university in Peru and becoming a college professor there? I don't know if that's a good gig there or not, but I bet someone on here does.

In any case, if I were in your shoes I'd be leaning toward staying in Peru with your new little family rather than taking them to the states. I know there are a lot of pros and cons. Buena suerte.

[kapitaw]

Sounds like you've got the right attitude about all of this and you're getting good advice. I'm in basically the exact situation you were in a week ago, sans kid. Twenty-nine year old living in South America with my girlfriend and working online for around $20/h while working on my own projects. Wouldn't even surprise me if we work for the same company. I'll what others have said; keep working and saving money and put yourself in a position to take the next step in your career or pivot to a new one.

I know ESL teachers (rightfully so, often) get a bad rep of being unskilled but the truth is you do provide a value and are in a field with high demand that is not going anywhere. I'm sure wherever you are in Peru there are people and companies who want a Native ESL teacher and are willing to pay well for it. Market yourself towards them if you want to continue teaching. Or open your own institute that stands out from the rest in some way.

If not, you should pivot to something you know and enjoy doing and try starting your own business. You can work 4-5 hours a day and pull in 2k which I imagine is plenty to live comfortably in Peru. Use all that free time to research and develop an idea and execute it. You have nothing to lose and the internet is your friend. Now is the time.

As for moving back to the states, that's something only you and your girlfriend can decide. I go back and forth myself but at the end of the day you have to ask yourself what matters most to you and what kind of life you want to live. Sure, there may be more financial opportunity for your kids in the states, but that will always be there if they choose to pursue it. Perhaps you decide they'll be happier off in the culture you've chosen to live in. No need to decide now either, I imagine relocating to the states would take a few years to plan.

Congratulations on your upcoming fatherhood, stay positive and hungry, and best of luck. Si se puede.

[El Mono]

(02-13-2019 04:09 PM)Duke Main Wrote:  

I'm not suggesting this, just throwing it out there. What about getting a masters degree (English) at a university in Peru and becoming a college professor there? I don't know if that's a good gig there or not, but I bet someone on here does.

In any case, if I were in your shoes I'd be leaning toward staying in Peru with your new little family rather than taking them to the states. I know there are a lot of pros and cons. Buena suerte.

I was actually considering getting a CELTA/DELTA eventually and working online on the side until I save up for a TEFL Masters. I wouldn't mind teaching university at all.

[scenicway]

What are the costs of K12 education in Peru?

Based on my interactions with Latinas over the years, I imagine the public schools down there are a complete disaster. When I've considered this scenario myself, that's the only real downside I see. Otherwise I think you're better off down there.

Cheers on the family though, sounds like a keeper.

[Jaydublin]

(02-12-2019 09:19 PM)El Mono Wrote:  

So I was living in South America (Peru) with my girlfriend (who I intend to marry eventually). We are both not financially stable and her birth control failed her. She is scared to leave her country but open to come to the US, although she would prefer not to.

Should I try to convince her to come over to the US and have the child there and try and make it work? I know it's much cheaper in South America but I don't see myself having much opportunity there. She has a great job and I don't want to end up teaching ESL/working in colegios. I don't have any jobs set up in the USA and no real marketable skills.. so to say.. as I have spent most of my 20's abroad.

I'm thinking about doing an alternative teaching certificate/school counselor masters and possibly going back to her country to teach a subject I like or be a school counselor, but I know I need to make moves quickly. I also have a lot of experience in the restaurant industry so I believe I could become a manager.

It seems like a bad idea, but we are going to go through with it. By not financially stable, we don't have any real savings. Any advice?

Go through with it.

I was bouncing around a few years ago and met a girl in Peru. We dated a few months and she ended up pregnant. We had the baby and married. She is now in the states with me, though we will likely move back in a few years.

Babies are not nearly as expensive as people say and even less expensive in Peru. My daughter was born in Peru for about 1k at an average hospital(Peru standards) in Miraflores. She spent 4 days in the ICU and that ran about 300-400$ on top of the birth fee of about 1k. IF your girl is a big spender they can be expensive but it all depends on what you want. Don't go buy 3 different brand new strollers for example, apps like letgo and offerup are great.

One issue you will have is your income. Based on what you said you have no real marketable skills but you will need a decent job to get her a K1 or have a cosigner which just complicates things. Honestly, I would think twice about bringing her to the USA if you don't have prospects and aren't set up. It might be wise to stay in Peru for a few years while you learn a skill online. #LearnToCode

I have been through this very process, feel free to ask me anything.

Also, I know she is your girl but I can't stress this enough. Consider a DNA test once the baby is born.

EDIT: Sounds like you have more skills than you originally said. You'll do great, don't kill your baby. You will never forgive yourself if you do.

[Jaydublin]

Quote:

The K1 or CR1 visa will take at least 9-11 months. Then she will have to apply for SSN before she can get medical insurance, you'll also need to make 125% of poverty rate in order to sponsor her.

You won't need a SSN to put her on your insurance. I covered my wife and daughter before they had one. It wasn't a big deal.

[El Mono]

(02-14-2019 08:26 AM)Jaydublin Wrote:  

(02-12-2019 09:19 PM)El Mono Wrote:  

So I was living in South America (Peru) with my girlfriend (who I intend to marry eventually). We are both not financially stable and her birth control failed her. She is scared to leave her country but open to come to the US, although she would prefer not to.

Should I try to convince her to come over to the US and have the child there and try and make it work? I know it's much cheaper in South America but I don't see myself having much opportunity there. She has a great job and I don't want to end up teaching ESL/working in colegios. I don't have any jobs set up in the USA and no real marketable skills.. so to say.. as I have spent most of my 20's abroad.

I'm thinking about doing an alternative teaching certificate/school counselor masters and possibly going back to her country to teach a subject I like or be a school counselor, but I know I need to make moves quickly. I also have a lot of experience in the restaurant industry so I believe I could become a manager.

It seems like a bad idea, but we are going to go through with it. By not financially stable, we don't have any real savings. Any advice?

Go through with it.

I was bouncing around a few years ago and met a girl in Peru. We dated a few months and she ended up pregnant. We had the baby and married. She is now in the states with me, though we will likely move back in a few years.

Babies are not nearly as expensive as people say and even less expensive in Peru. My daughter was born in Peru for about 1k at an average hospital(Peru standards) in Miraflores. She spent 4 days in the ICU and that ran about 300-400$ on top of the birth fee of about 1k. IF your girl is a big spender they can be expensive but it all depends on what you want. Don't go buy 3 different brand new strollers for example, apps like letgo and offerup are great.

One issue you will have is your income. Based on what you said you have no real marketable skills but you will need a decent job to get her a K1 or have a cosigner which just complicates things. Honestly, I would think twice about bringing her to the USA if you don't have prospects and aren't set up. It might be wise to stay in Peru for a few years while you learn a skill online. #LearnToCode

I have been through this very process, feel free to ask me anything.

Also, I know she is your girl but I can't stress this enough. Consider a DNA test once the baby is born.

EDIT: Sounds like you have more skills than you originally said. You'll do great, don't kill your baby. You will never forgive yourself if you do.

Thanks for the positivity/advice. I'm just too hard on myself sometimes but that's what pushes us to the top of the mountain. I'll definitely be doing the DNA test but I know with 99.9% certainty it's mine. We lived and stayed together 24/7 basically. Regardless it's a great idea.