Background: I've got plenty of experience in the game, met up and had adventures with several bros from the forum. Still, I have my weaknesses, I'd love to hear feedback on this scenario, which represents a common pattern with my interactions with women.
Scenario: Approached a cute girl who works at my gym 2 weeks ago, got her number. I had seen her around the gym for 6 months, but never approached because I was dealing with some personal stuff that left me completely out of the headspace for going after women. Fast forward to now and that situation is resolved, and I'm back in the game. She also works at the gym now, so I see her on a regular basis.
Anyways, I can tell she's been interested, extra long eye contact and smiles in the gym, purposely putting herself in close proximity to me while working out, etc.
I get on Snapchat at her recommendation, we start texting and messaging. She's 19, goes to a local college. Rapport is great, she's invested heavily, asking me a bunch of questions, snapping random cutesy photos, and generally displaying very high interest. Eventually we get around to slightly more sexual convo, and she reveals she's a bit of a submissive with 2 different snippets of convo:
ME:Snap me.
HER: Are you telling me?
ME: Yes, I'm so bossy!
HER: Good, I like being told what to do. (shit test passed, snap sent).
A bit later, she snaps me again at my request.
ME: Good girl.
HER: Thanks daddy! (followed by the monkey face covering eyes)
ME: Heh, I like that.
HER: Really?
ME: Yeah, I'm generally a dominant guy, so when you do submissive stuff like that I like it.
HER: Yayyy! I love being dominated.
From there the floodgates open, she's asking if she can call me daddy, and the entire convo goes sexual, alarm goes off in my head, usually not a great idea to get super sexual over convo with a girl without an immediate plan to meet up, things can backfire quick if she gets buyers remorse for revealing her slutty side too soon.
Anyways, got her calling me daddy, sending nudes at this point, I try to get her to take a snap on her knees, looking up at the camera, she asks if she can show me her pretty little pussy instead. Proceeds to send full ass and shaved pussy.
I try to seed a meetup, at my place. She seems down, but can't make my initial offer, which was on a saturday; I got her number on Wednesday. I shrug it off, she's a student going for nursing and always in class, at the gym working, or doing homework.
Fast forward around a week, and the following has happened: 1. I've asked 3 or 4 more times trying to get her out, literally every time the excuse is the same, she's doing homework til late. 2. Texts from her are less energetic and less warm, definitely in part due to 1^. 3. Several times in a row she scoffs at the request to send nudes, responses something like "ugghhh" or evades by ignoring the request or changing topics. 4. Invited her over for Sunday evening on Saturday, she says she would love to, but isn't sure of her plans (obviously a horrible sign, very female way of saying NO).
Per #4, I mentally prepare for the flake, with plans to just stop texting her for a while upon hearing no, since I know she doesn't have anything going on Sunday. Sunday I ask her if she's good for me to pick her up at 10, she plays dumb like she didn't realize I wanted to meet up "at night," even though I made it clear in the text, she attempts to get into a discussion about that, asking for examples of where I said we would meet at night. At this point I'm checked out:
HER: Can you plss show me an example where you wanted to meet at night.
ME(hour later): Doesn't matter now.
HER: I'm sorry.
ME(several hours later): It's cool
HER: You're upset aren't you (frownie face)
I don't respond, yesterday evening she sends me a "hi", to which I also don't respond.
So, finally, my questions for you guys: 1. How do you maintain a dominant frame and not come across as needy/pushy/tryhard/desperate, while simultaneously pushing for a quick meetup? I felt it was important to get her out ASAP because things turned sexual so quick, to me it always feels like once the convo goes sexual, there's an invisible timer ticking down to the point where things fizzle out.
2. She's given me an answer on her attraction level by not meeting up in 2 weeks, despite consistently messaging me to talk. What's your normal timeframe where you say "ok, I'm letting this girl waste my time, I'm out"?
Thanks for reading guys, another one of my weaknesses displayed in my thesis above: overanalyzing. Curse of an introverted INTJ!
Scenario: Approached a cute girl who works at my gym 2 weeks ago, got her number. I had seen her around the gym for 6 months, but never approached because I was dealing with some personal stuff that left me completely out of the headspace for going after women. Fast forward to now and that situation is resolved, and I'm back in the game. She also works at the gym now, so I see her on a regular basis.
Anyways, I can tell she's been interested, extra long eye contact and smiles in the gym, purposely putting herself in close proximity to me while working out, etc.
I get on Snapchat at her recommendation, we start texting and messaging. She's 19, goes to a local college. Rapport is great, she's invested heavily, asking me a bunch of questions, snapping random cutesy photos, and generally displaying very high interest. Eventually we get around to slightly more sexual convo, and she reveals she's a bit of a submissive with 2 different snippets of convo:
ME:Snap me.
HER: Are you telling me?
ME: Yes, I'm so bossy!
HER: Good, I like being told what to do. (shit test passed, snap sent).
A bit later, she snaps me again at my request.
ME: Good girl.
HER: Thanks daddy! (followed by the monkey face covering eyes)
ME: Heh, I like that.
HER: Really?
ME: Yeah, I'm generally a dominant guy, so when you do submissive stuff like that I like it.
HER: Yayyy! I love being dominated.
From there the floodgates open, she's asking if she can call me daddy, and the entire convo goes sexual, alarm goes off in my head, usually not a great idea to get super sexual over convo with a girl without an immediate plan to meet up, things can backfire quick if she gets buyers remorse for revealing her slutty side too soon.
Anyways, got her calling me daddy, sending nudes at this point, I try to get her to take a snap on her knees, looking up at the camera, she asks if she can show me her pretty little pussy instead. Proceeds to send full ass and shaved pussy.
I try to seed a meetup, at my place. She seems down, but can't make my initial offer, which was on a saturday; I got her number on Wednesday. I shrug it off, she's a student going for nursing and always in class, at the gym working, or doing homework.
Fast forward around a week, and the following has happened: 1. I've asked 3 or 4 more times trying to get her out, literally every time the excuse is the same, she's doing homework til late. 2. Texts from her are less energetic and less warm, definitely in part due to 1^. 3. Several times in a row she scoffs at the request to send nudes, responses something like "ugghhh" or evades by ignoring the request or changing topics. 4. Invited her over for Sunday evening on Saturday, she says she would love to, but isn't sure of her plans (obviously a horrible sign, very female way of saying NO).
Per #4, I mentally prepare for the flake, with plans to just stop texting her for a while upon hearing no, since I know she doesn't have anything going on Sunday. Sunday I ask her if she's good for me to pick her up at 10, she plays dumb like she didn't realize I wanted to meet up "at night," even though I made it clear in the text, she attempts to get into a discussion about that, asking for examples of where I said we would meet at night. At this point I'm checked out:
HER: Can you plss show me an example where you wanted to meet at night.
ME(hour later): Doesn't matter now.
HER: I'm sorry.
ME(several hours later): It's cool
HER: You're upset aren't you (frownie face)
I don't respond, yesterday evening she sends me a "hi", to which I also don't respond.
So, finally, my questions for you guys: 1. How do you maintain a dominant frame and not come across as needy/pushy/tryhard/desperate, while simultaneously pushing for a quick meetup? I felt it was important to get her out ASAP because things turned sexual so quick, to me it always feels like once the convo goes sexual, there's an invisible timer ticking down to the point where things fizzle out.
2. She's given me an answer on her attraction level by not meeting up in 2 weeks, despite consistently messaging me to talk. What's your normal timeframe where you say "ok, I'm letting this girl waste my time, I'm out"?
Thanks for reading guys, another one of my weaknesses displayed in my thesis above: overanalyzing. Curse of an introverted INTJ!