Well, I'm doing it. Early 30s, a cool 1/2 mil in the bank, good job, health not great, and I want kids before I'm too old.
Haven't seen a proper prenup thread in the search results, just a few odd threads about celebrities and "NEVER GET MARRIED" threads. If we have a good discussion about it already though can someone link me?
It seem like the effectiveness of a Prenup as a legal document is only so-so. Good for protecting assets from before the marriage (1/2 mil) and good for inheritances (won't be much, half a house probably). But for any wealth accumulated during marriage, i.e., the majority, it's unclear to me whether the prenup has any effect of maintaining a separation of money, or can have any influence on the division of the matrimonial home.
But my whole point of the prenup isn't so much to ruthlessly protect assets, it's so that she knows up front that I am not a fool or a doormat, a sucker for the game of modern marriage, and to protect against divorce even happening in the first place because she won't dare to. I don't think it will happen, she seems solid, but you never know what crazy ideas might pop into her head when I'm 45 with 3 young kids and getting ready to wind down a career for early retirement (my plan).
The point I want to convey to her, is that a prenup helps make our marriage stronger, turns it into a real classical marriage, where we are both bound together through anything, and just because life gets hard, doesn't mean we get to walk away from it. That it's not about the money, it's about strengthening the real, deep commitment to each other.
Obviously the word "pre-nup" is toxic. I think I'd rather name it as a "Marriage contract for dealing with inheritances and stuff". Unfortunately she definitely knows my parents aren't rich or have any secret millions. Her parents are even poorer than mine. So that option of "my dad insists" isn't viable (thanks dad).
I am stuck for coming up with more plausible sounding reasons for which a prenup is a good idea for her, for "us", and that it's not just "me being selfish", to get her on board, sign it, and not be deeply resentful about it.
Haven't seen a proper prenup thread in the search results, just a few odd threads about celebrities and "NEVER GET MARRIED" threads. If we have a good discussion about it already though can someone link me?
It seem like the effectiveness of a Prenup as a legal document is only so-so. Good for protecting assets from before the marriage (1/2 mil) and good for inheritances (won't be much, half a house probably). But for any wealth accumulated during marriage, i.e., the majority, it's unclear to me whether the prenup has any effect of maintaining a separation of money, or can have any influence on the division of the matrimonial home.
But my whole point of the prenup isn't so much to ruthlessly protect assets, it's so that she knows up front that I am not a fool or a doormat, a sucker for the game of modern marriage, and to protect against divorce even happening in the first place because she won't dare to. I don't think it will happen, she seems solid, but you never know what crazy ideas might pop into her head when I'm 45 with 3 young kids and getting ready to wind down a career for early retirement (my plan).
The point I want to convey to her, is that a prenup helps make our marriage stronger, turns it into a real classical marriage, where we are both bound together through anything, and just because life gets hard, doesn't mean we get to walk away from it. That it's not about the money, it's about strengthening the real, deep commitment to each other.
Obviously the word "pre-nup" is toxic. I think I'd rather name it as a "Marriage contract for dealing with inheritances and stuff". Unfortunately she definitely knows my parents aren't rich or have any secret millions. Her parents are even poorer than mine. So that option of "my dad insists" isn't viable (thanks dad).
I am stuck for coming up with more plausible sounding reasons for which a prenup is a good idea for her, for "us", and that it's not just "me being selfish", to get her on board, sign it, and not be deeply resentful about it.