[Jozi]

(12-12-2018 12:32 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

You guys under estimate the freedom you have living independently or with roommates. As it's been said by the Dream and Vladimir there are virtually no upsides including the often lauded money saving factor. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. My best friend moved in with his college girlfriend his junior year and to this day reminds me of the fact that he missed out on 2 good years of his life dealing with a relationship that ultimately went nowhere. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. Men on this forum are supposed to have women as accessories or additions to their quality of life, we don't need this bitches. You wanna get married, fine. Nothing wrong that at all, but you will look back at the time you spent prematurely moving in with your girlfriend, no matter how feminine unselfish and sweet she is, and wanna punch yourself right in the nose. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. I moved in my wife a month before our wedding. A month!!!. I even regretted doing that lol. LOL@ moving in with a woman year or more before marriage. What kinda beta maneuvering is this? Listen to a 40 year old OG with a halfway decent lay count of quality women and save yourself the frustration.

What if you don't have time or want to be a player and you don't mind your girl staying with you to cook and clean and always have pussy available for you while you go about your business? What is the difference between living together pre vs post marriage? You are assuming everyone here are just starting out and don't have any life experience. Not everyone fits into that category.

And there's no rule saying you have to stay with your girlfriend for 2 years. You can live together for 3 months and then you can either propose or kick her out.

[quaker13]

(12-12-2018 01:05 PM)Jozi Wrote:  

(12-12-2018 12:32 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

You guys under estimate the freedom you have living independently or with roommates. As it's been said by the Dream and Vladimir there are virtually no upsides including the often lauded money saving factor. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. My best friend moved in with his college girlfriend his junior year and to this day reminds me of the fact that he missed out on 2 good years of his life dealing with a relationship that ultimately went nowhere. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. Men on this forum are supposed to have women as accessories or additions to their quality of life, we don't need this bitches. You wanna get married, fine. Nothing wrong that at all, but you will look back at the time you spent prematurely moving in with your girlfriend, no matter how feminine unselfish and sweet she is, and wanna punch yourself right in the nose. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. I moved in my wife a month before our wedding. A month!!!. I even regretted doing that lol. LOL@ moving in with a woman year or more before marriage. What kinda beta maneuvering is this? Listen to a 40 year old OG with a halfway decent lay count of quality women and save yourself the frustration.

What if you don't have time or want to be a player and you don't mind your girl staying with you to cook and clean and always have pussy available for you while you go about your business? What is the difference between living together pre vs post marriage? You are assuming everyone here are just starting out and don't have any life experience. Not everyone fits into that category.

And there's no rule saying you have to stay with your girlfriend for 2 years. You can live together for 3 months and then you can either propose or kick her out.

1. I don't mean any offense by this, but if you don't wanna get girls and get better with women then why are you on this forum.
2. Even if you want to be a completely loyal and faithful boyfriend that does not necessitate a woman moving in. Marriage is about compromise being in a pre marriage relationship not so much. You don't have to do a motherfucking thing you don't wanna do and she has to respect that or leave. You talk about cooking and cleaning like these are insurmountable burdens worth having a live in girlfriend and they are really not. Plus all that shit will wane over time I assure you. The difference between pre and post marriage cohabitation is indistinguishable for the woman, the problem is men usually feel otherwise. You simply can't carry on with your daily life as if you had a roommate you have a girlfriend to answer to. The most important thing of course is freedom and freedoms. Why reduce your freedoms prematurely? Freedom to go hangout with your boys as you please, freedom to go the grocery store as you please, freedom to go the gym whenever you want without considering her schedule as your live in girlfriend, freedom to play video games all weekend, freedom to sit at bar and watch football all day. Meanwhile she generally compromises none of her freedoms cause this is what she ultimately wants.

3. There's a little thing called a lease which is legally binding. You break up with her mid lease you're in for a financial hit unless you're independently wealth which you clearly aren't no disrespect, neither am i

[The Golden God]

(12-12-2018 01:51 AM)the-dream Wrote:  

You're planning on going for a night out with your work mates and she is acting extra sweet and affectionate and asks if you can just have a night in with her instead. She promises to cook your favourite meal, watch a good movie then make love all evening. Sounds wonderful. You couldn't really stand to spend any extra time with your annoying officemates anyway and waking up in the morning with a hangover isn't worth it. What could possible go wrong? Well, every subsequent time that you have plans without her, she'll put on the charm offensive to pull you away from them and if that doesn't work, give the silent treatment or bitch you out and ruin your night.

THE WORST thing that happens by far and is guaranteed to happen eventually.

Starts off as her seemingly innocent as her trying to get you to spend time with her, then eventually every time you go out with friends you have to hear her bitch about how you "never do stuff" with her.

Don't live with a girl unless you've been dating for at least 3 years and you know who she is to the absolute core.

Think that your girl is special and this rule doesn't apply to you? Good luck.

That's how it always starts.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Recently had a friend who moved two states over to live with a woman in her place. Of course I advised him against it, if for nothing else when/if the relationship goes bad you're out on your ass in a new place starting over.

Currently have a very submissive young lady trying to get me to move in with her but I'm resisting. I've lived on my own since my divorce and really enjoy my personal space and hosting horny chicks at my leisure. Giving that up to save a few dollars seems to confining for me right now.

MDP is enjoying the best of both worlds

[Vladimir Poontang]

What about having kids before moving in? Just thought I'd throw that in.

[Jozi]

(12-12-2018 01:24 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

1. I don't mean any offense by this, but if you don't wanna get girls and get better with women then why are you on this forum.
2. Even if you want to be a completely loyal and faithful boyfriend that does not necessitate a woman moving in. Marriage is about compromise being in a pre marriage relationship not so much. You don't have to do a motherfucking thing you don't wanna do and she has to respect that or leave. You talk about cooking and cleaning like these are insurmountable burdens worth having a live in girlfriend and they are really not. Plus all that shit will wane over time I assure you. The difference between pre and post marriage cohabitation is indistinguishable for the woman, the problem is men usually feel otherwise. You simply can't carry on with your daily life as if you had a roommate you have a girlfriend to answer to. The most important thing of course is freedom and freedoms. Why reduce your freedoms prematurely? Freedom to go hangout with your boys as you please, freedom to go the grocery store as you please, freedom to go the gym whenever you want without considering her schedule as your live in girlfriend, freedom to play video games all weekend, freedom to sit at bar and watch football all day. Meanwhile she generally compromises none of her freedoms cause this is what she ultimately wants.

3. There's a little thing called a lease which is legally binding. You break up with her mid lease you're in for a financial hit unless you're independently wealth which you clearly aren't no disrespect, neither am i

I've had a live in girlfriend for a little while in the past and no, I didn't have to answer to anyone. I did exactly what I wanted. Went out when I wanted etc. She was happy to live at my place and did everything for me. I even had two live in girlfriends at one point, we all slept in the same bed and this assured that blowjobs and holes were always available as they worked slightly different hours. Sorry but I cannot relate to anything you're saying. Sounds like you just have bad frame and don't have control over your woman.

I know what a lease is, and please don't talk down to me with that arrogant tone. You don't know me whatsoever or my financial situation.

[Jozi]

(12-12-2018 04:54 PM)The Golden God Wrote:  

(12-12-2018 01:51 AM)the-dream Wrote:  

You're planning on going for a night out with your work mates and she is acting extra sweet and affectionate and asks if you can just have a night in with her instead. She promises to cook your favourite meal, watch a good movie then make love all evening. Sounds wonderful. You couldn't really stand to spend any extra time with your annoying officemates anyway and waking up in the morning with a hangover isn't worth it. What could possible go wrong? Well, every subsequent time that you have plans without her, she'll put on the charm offensive to pull you away from them and if that doesn't work, give the silent treatment or bitch you out and ruin your night.

THE WORST thing that happens by far and is guaranteed to happen eventually.

Yes, if you are a pussy.

[Aszhaeleos]

Im not sure I would marry a woman I hadn't lived with first as a test run

[The Golden God]

(12-13-2018 02:07 AM)Jozi Wrote:  

(12-12-2018 04:54 PM)The Golden God Wrote:  

(12-12-2018 01:51 AM)the-dream Wrote:  

You're planning on going for a night out with your work mates and she is acting extra sweet and affectionate and asks if you can just have a night in with her instead. She promises to cook your favourite meal, watch a good movie then make love all evening. Sounds wonderful. You couldn't really stand to spend any extra time with your annoying officemates anyway and waking up in the morning with a hangover isn't worth it. What could possible go wrong? Well, every subsequent time that you have plans without her, she'll put on the charm offensive to pull you away from them and if that doesn't work, give the silent treatment or bitch you out and ruin your night.

THE WORST thing that happens by far and is guaranteed to happen eventually.

Yes, if you are a pussy.

Really, how many women have you been in LTRs with?

Attention seeking behavior is guaranteed to come in the relationship as she tries to keep you around more.

[Eddie Winslow]

(12-12-2018 01:24 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

2. Even if you want to be a completely loyal and faithful boyfriend that does not necessitate a woman moving in. Marriage is about compromise being in a pre marriage relationship not so much. You don't have to do a motherfucking thing you don't wanna do and she has to respect that or leave. You talk about cooking and cleaning like these are insurmountable burdens worth having a live in girlfriend and they are really not. Plus all that shit will wane over time I assure you. The difference between pre and post marriage cohabitation is indistinguishable for the woman, the problem is men usually feel otherwise. You simply can't carry on with your daily life as if you had a roommate you have a girlfriend to answer to. The most important thing of course is freedom and freedoms. Why reduce your freedoms prematurely? Freedom to go hangout with your boys as you please, freedom to go the grocery store as you please, freedom to go the gym whenever you want without considering her schedule as your live in girlfriend, freedom to play video games all weekend, freedom to sit at bar and watch football all day. Meanwhile she generally compromises none of her freedoms cause this is what she ultimately wants.

This hits in on the head in my opinion.

However, my favorite thing about not living with a woman I'm seeing is the unspoken assumption that we will be having sex and having a pleasant experience every time she comes over.

Oh you're sick babe? Pissed off? Depressed? Not horny? Need to console your BFF on the phone for an hour? Want to binge watch "This is Us" and cry on the couch all night? I actually have to be at work early tomorrow anyway, how about we get together on Wednesday instead?

[The Golden God]

(12-13-2018 09:04 AM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:  

However, my favorite thing about not living with a woman I'm seeing is the unspoken assumption that we will be having sex and having a pleasant experience every time she comes over.

Oh you're sick babe? Pissed off? Depressed? Not horny? Need to console your BFF on the phone for an hour? Want to binge watch "This is Us" and cry on the couch all night? I actually have to be at work early tomorrow anyway, how about we get together on Wednesday instead?

True that, when you live with a girl you have to deal with everything and she stops focusing on giving you positive experiences.

After moving in with my ex LTR, I noticed how she wouldn't put as much effort in as she used to and it was only a matter of time before the positive experiences of her were outweighed by the negatives, like:

- Constantly wanting me to be around her. I would have friends over and when she got home she would go into our room and text me about how she "wished she knew I was gonna have people over because she would've worked later or figured out something to do with her friends".
- Unable to stay home when I needed to work or wanted to chill. Would always want to go shopping or to a restaurant because she had no interests of her own and had to be out in public to feel like she was doing something.
- My fitness suffered. My times I could go to the gym would be affected because she would want to go to the gym with me but she would always take forever to get ready or want to go at random times of the day. Get irritated and tell her I'm going without her = guaranteed 1hr of fighting every time. Or, I'd be nice and wait for her and end up losing intensity and focus I would have otherwise had.
- I had to deal with her emotions more. Women are extremely emotional. When you're dating a girl that doesn't live with you, you may only have to deal with an emotional text exchange or call every once and a while. When you live with her, she expects you to be her emotional support any time she's feeling down and she's going to come to you about her problems more and more. She has you locked down and she can drop her act, you get to deal with her and all of her problems now.

[quaker13]

(12-13-2018 02:04 AM)Jozi Wrote:  

(12-12-2018 01:24 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

1. I don't mean any offense by this, but if you don't wanna get girls and get better with women then why are you on this forum.
2. Even if you want to be a completely loyal and faithful boyfriend that does not necessitate a woman moving in. Marriage is about compromise being in a pre marriage relationship not so much. You don't have to do a motherfucking thing you don't wanna do and she has to respect that or leave. You talk about cooking and cleaning like these are insurmountable burdens worth having a live in girlfriend and they are really not. Plus all that shit will wane over time I assure you. The difference between pre and post marriage cohabitation is indistinguishable for the woman, the problem is men usually feel otherwise. You simply can't carry on with your daily life as if you had a roommate you have a girlfriend to answer to. The most important thing of course is freedom and freedoms. Why reduce your freedoms prematurely? Freedom to go hangout with your boys as you please, freedom to go the grocery store as you please, freedom to go the gym whenever you want without considering her schedule as your live in girlfriend, freedom to play video games all weekend, freedom to sit at bar and watch football all day. Meanwhile she generally compromises none of her freedoms cause this is what she ultimately wants.

3. There's a little thing called a lease which is legally binding. You break up with her mid lease you're in for a financial hit unless you're independently wealth which you clearly aren't no disrespect, neither am i

I've had a live in girlfriend for a little while in the past and no, I didn't have to answer to anyone. I did exactly what I wanted. Went out when I wanted etc. She was happy to live at my place and did everything for me. I even had two live in girlfriends at one point, we all slept in the same bed and this assured that blowjobs and holes were always available as they worked slightly different hours. Sorry but I cannot relate to anything you're saying. Sounds like you just have bad frame and don't have control over your woman.

I know what a lease is, and please don't talk down to me with that arrogant tone. You don't know me whatsoever or my financial situation.

Fine, you a part of a small cabal of men that didn't have the problem that even ultra experienced players deal with. I can accept that.

What I can't accept is you being offended by me saying you aren't independently wealthy like that's some dig at you. My collective household income is almost 650k a year and i'm definitely not independently wealthy. My buddy who's an orthodontist with no debt clears about 1.5 mil a year, he isn't independently wealthy. My other buddy who owns his own construction company, makes 2-3 a year he isn't independently wealthy either. The only one i know , and i don't really know him cause i've never met him, is his friend who is worth about 500 million bucks. Not trying be an asshole but don't posture yourself like you're about to drop a bomb on forum that you make 20 million bucks a year

[Jozi]

(12-13-2018 10:37 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

Fine, you a part of a small cabal of men that didn't have the problem that even ultra experienced players deal with. I can accept that.

What I can't accept is you being offended by me saying you aren't independently wealthy like that's some dig at you. My collective household income is almost 650k a year and i'm definitely not independently wealthy. My buddy who's an orthodontist with no debt clears about 1.5 mil a year, he isn't independently wealthy. My other buddy who owns his own construction company, makes 2-3 a year he isn't independently wealthy either. The only one i know , and i don't really know him cause i've never met him, is his friend who is worth about 500 million bucks. Not trying be an asshole but don't posture yourself like you're about to drop a bomb on forum that you make 20 million bucks a year

Depends on how you define "independently wealthy". So lets say you make $400k out of the 650 (I have no idea but for the sake of the argument), then with taxes you're left with about 200. So yes, you're not "wealthy" per se. You make a bit less than me. You'd be pretty well off in a flyover state though, but maybe not so in California or New York. I live somewhere cheaper (South Africa) so my money goes much further than yours as well.

I don't clear 1.5m a year like your friend though. I would say he's making quite decent money and could no doubt afford to have someone stay at his house or apartment without charging them rent. To me it's really not about the money. It's about dominance. Sure, if you are struggling and you live in a studio or 1br apartment and you don't make more money than your girl, it's only right she pays half the rent and other expenditures. In that scenario I wouldn't live with a girlfriend.

I am of the belief that as a man you should make the kind of money that you can control your woman by also controlling her lifestyle. You'd wanna make at least 10x of what she is. Not that you should buy or provide her luxury bags or other crap, but things like food and housing. By doing so it's easier to stay in control. If she fucks up you can kick her out at any time.

In the end, I can see your argument and in the scenario you describe (equal amount of income, shared lease on paper etc) then living with a gf wouldn't be such a good idea. My point was that this is not always the case, because if you have the means you can have girls living with you and still be in full control over the situation with very little bitching and games from her side (as long as you have some basic knowledge of relationship management).

[quaker13]

(12-13-2018 12:09 PM)Jozi Wrote:  

(12-13-2018 10:37 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

Fine, you a part of a small cabal of men that didn't have the problem that even ultra experienced players deal with. I can accept that.

What I can't accept is you being offended by me saying you aren't independently wealthy like that's some dig at you. My collective household income is almost 650k a year and i'm definitely not independently wealthy. My buddy who's an orthodontist with no debt clears about 1.5 mil a year, he isn't independently wealthy. My other buddy who owns his own construction company, makes 2-3 a year he isn't independently wealthy either. The only one i know , and i don't really know him cause i've never met him, is his friend who is worth about 500 million bucks. Not trying be an asshole but don't posture yourself like you're about to drop a bomb on forum that you make 20 million bucks a year

Depends on how you define "independently wealthy". So lets say you make $400k out of the 650 (I have no idea but for the sake of the argument), then with taxes you're left with about 200. So yes, you're not "wealthy" per se. You make a bit less than me. You'd be pretty well off in a flyover state though, but maybe not so in California or New York. I live somewhere cheaper (South Africa) so my money goes much further than yours as well.

I don't clear 1.5m a year like your friend though. I would say he's making quite decent money and could no doubt afford to have someone stay at his house or apartment without charging them rent. To me it's really not about the money. It's about dominance. Sure, if you are struggling and you live in a studio or 1br apartment and you don't make more money than your girl, it's only right she pays half the rent and other expenditures. In that scenario I wouldn't live with a girlfriend.

I am of the belief that as a man you should make the kind of money that you can control your woman by also controlling her lifestyle. You'd wanna make at least 10x of what she is. Not that you should buy or provide her luxury bags or other crap, but things like food and housing. By doing so it's easier to stay in control. If she fucks up you can kick her out at any time.

In the end, I can see your argument and in the scenario you describe (equal amount of income, shared lease on paper etc) then living with a gf wouldn't be such a good idea. My point was that this is not always the case, because if you have the means you can have girls living with you and still be in full control over the situation with very little bitching and games from her side (as long as you have some basic knowledge of relationship management).

I love when bros can agree

[Jozi]

(12-13-2018 08:27 AM)The Golden God Wrote:  

Really, how many women have you been in LTRs with?

Attention seeking behavior is guaranteed to come in the relationship as she tries to keep you around more.

One or two maybe. Longest I've had someone stay at my place has been 2 or 3 months. Yes she will try attention seeking behavior and punish you by not offering her ponani. This is easily combated by simply telling her that as long as she lives under your roof, you own her and if she doesn't offer you her holes when you say so then it's time to pack up and gtfo (she won't, her demeanor will change real quick).

[Cation]

Yes, I would live with a woman who is not my wife. That is the only way I would marry this woman. First we live together, and if things work out, we can get married. Simple.

[The Golden God]

(12-13-2018 12:23 PM)Jozi Wrote:  

(12-13-2018 08:27 AM)The Golden God Wrote:  

Really, how many women have you been in LTRs with?

Attention seeking behavior is guaranteed to come in the relationship as she tries to keep you around more.

One or two maybe. Longest I've had someone stay at my place has been 2 or 3 months. Yes she will try attention seeking behavior and punish you by not offering her ponani. This is easily combated by simply telling her that as long as she lives under your roof, you own her and if she doesn't offer you her holes when you say so then it's time to pack up and gtfo (she won't, her demeanor will change real quick).

So let's re-clarify here.

You've never truly lived with an LTR. 2-3 months is nothing man.

Were you moving them in to run provider game on them while they were living under your roof rent free?

Have you considered the fact that you giving them dramatic ultimatums while financially providing for them may push them into agreeing with you on the surface while they sneak around and get the other things they need in the relationship elsewhere?

Financial leverage seems great to some men, but think about how many rich guys have hot wives that go and fuck other dudes while their man is picking up the check.

Also, regarding the bolded text.

Good luck with keeping a healthy relationship dynamic following that advice.

I prefer to give solid, realistic advice that works outside of the made up world in your head where that caveman masculine behavior works on a westernized girl.

Don't move in with a girl who you don't fully know (this takes years), and don't move in with a girl without taking a long time to consider if her lifestyle and yours will be compatible.

If you are an active person you need an LTR who is also active in her own way and will not get in the way of you doing your thing (thus avoiding the aforementioned conflict of her expecting you to stay home with her).

[Flux]

Women are not real entities, they mirror you and become an extension of you. You pick the one that can mirror you best.

If you can't live with a woman of your choosing that means you hate a part of yourself, and need to improve upon it enough to come to love it, or at least accept it.

I love women because I can understand them, if I didn't I would hate them.

[lunchmoney]

(12-13-2018 04:11 PM)Cation Wrote:  

Yes, I would live with a woman who is not my wife. That is the only way I would marry this woman. First we live together, and if things work out, we can get married. Simple.

You would, but have you ever?

[JackinMelbourne]

(12-13-2018 05:18 PM)Flux Wrote:  

Women are not real entities, they mirror you and become an extension of you. You pick the one that can mirror you best.

If you can't live with a woman of your choosing that means you hate a part of yourself, and need to improve upon it enough to come to love it, or at least accept it.

I love women because I can understand them, if I didn't I would hate them.

Weird post, can you explain what you mean? Is this what happened the last time you lived with a woman?

[Caduceus]

(12-14-2018 08:08 PM)JackinMelbourne Wrote:  

(12-13-2018 05:18 PM)Flux Wrote:  

Women are not real entities, they mirror you and become an extension of you. You pick the one that can mirror you best.

If you can't live with a woman of your choosing that means you hate a part of yourself, and need to improve upon it enough to come to love it, or at least accept it.

I love women because I can understand them, if I didn't I would hate them.

Weird post, can you explain what you mean? Is this what happened the last time you lived with a woman?

This thread started by Flux today will explain everything:


thread-71635.html

[lunchmoney]

(12-11-2018 07:05 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  

I was in the gym this morning catching up with a guy who used to be a wingman to hit the bars/clubs with earlier this year. In catching up, he told me he met a girl off of Bumble, and they hit it off. She just moved into his house and they are serious. I asked how long he has known her, and he said four months.

Maybe it's me, but I could never see myself having a woman (no matter how hot she is) move in to my place that fast.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Just an update - Apparently either my friend got cold feet or smartened up, but he said the girl he met off Bumble who was supposed to move in didn't because he told her they were moving too fast. He hasn't heard from her since haha.

[droughtmeat]

In some countries it's almost unavoilable. Germany is one of them. Even couples in their early 20s will move in together. Mainly because the woman / girl will insist and her friends will seriously confront her and question the quality of the relationship, if her boyfriend isn't ready to move in with her.

[droughtmeat]

(12-14-2018 04:01 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  

(12-13-2018 04:11 PM)Cation Wrote:  

Yes, I would live with a woman who is not my wife. That is the only way I would marry this woman. First we live together, and if things work out, we can get married. Simple.

You would, but have you ever?

I have and I agree with the idea of living with a girl before you get married. Living together tests the quality of the relationship. I'm personally opposed to living together. Not because I had negative experiences doing so, but mainly since I feel as though seeing someone every single day for an extended period of time will ultimately take away a lot of the excitement your relationship gives you.

But it's the only way to get to know your partner properly and avoid surprises while you're married.

[travolta]

With my first real girlfriend she moved in after about 2 months. I was inexperienced and didn't know better. I thought it would just be for fun and that i'd kick her out when I got bored. She obviously took it as a sign that I wanted to marry her. It was great for about 11 months, but then I got used to having sex with her and wanted her out. It was a real pain in the ass getting her to leave. Eventually I gathered up all of her shit, put it in the middle of my apartment and told her to leave the next day. Told her I'd throw everything out the window if she didn't leave. Long story short, I wouldn't recommend living with a girl if you don't plan on marrying her. It's great until it's not.. then you'll hate every minute of it. Good luck sleeping with other girls. You might go out one night with intent to meet another girl, but she'll purposely fuck your brains our right before you go, this way you have no energy to meet a new girl. Avoid unless you want to marry.