[Yourboysteve]

Hey guys.

Info:

21, Never kissed a girl, Virgin(obviously). Very small group of male friends. Haven't made new guy or girl friends in a long time.

So in my current mental state, for some reason, I don't feel like anyone actually wants to interact with me. I usually just feel like getting through a conversation is usually just a burden which both parties have to bare until they can leave (used to spend all my time playing pc games).

Thus when I'm out or at the beach and there are cute girls, I usually just feel like I'd rather not talk to them, so they don't have to carry that burden and can just continue on with their day. I guess I could say the same goes for guys who I could befriend.

Now I assume that this is a false belief, but to be honest I don't know much better.

Is there any way that I can get rid of this, or do something to change my opinion?

[tomzestatlu]

If you consider yourself like burden to others, you will always feel like burden to others.
Never ever play video games. Try to rise your value every day. Improve yourself (go to gym on daily basis, do martial arts) and do interesting things that others would appreciate. It can be whatever, do the things others are fear of, conquer things what others can´t. Jump out of the plane, start a fights in a bar, kill a bear with your bare hands... whatever. Just be interesting.

Actually by finding some hobby (BJJ is used as good example), you will enter some social group that you have something common with and that will make getting new friends in this group much easier.

21 is pretty young to start with clean shield, just don´t forget two main rules:
1. LET THE GYM BECOME YOUR BIGGEST PASSION
2. NEVER EVER TURN ON THE VIDEO GAMES

[TeachNExplore]

I've definitely felt like the burden for a long time. For me it came from a feeling of being less than.

I agree that the gym helps. Making money helps. Fucking chicks helps. Building your self worth through self improvement is great, but i bet there are guys out there that are jacked, rich, and fucking hot chicks that feel empty inside and less than.

Start helping others without any expectation of them doing nice things for you.

Go see a MALE therapist.

Get involved with a mentoring program. Find a mentor and then start mentoring others.

Faith is also a huge part of where I get my strength today. I believe in a universal power greater than myself, which I call God. I ask God every day to give me the guidance to live in his will. You don't have to go to church or read the bible, but it helps to have some sort of fellowship and framework and a purpose.

I have a daily practice of exercise (heavy lifting, a weight training circuit, or jiu jitsu), taking an inventory of myself and what I plan to do for the day, 20 minutes of meditation, and prayer, in that order that keeps me connected to God. Its improved my life tremendously.

I've been where you're at and theres a way out. My way might not be the way that works for you, but if you sincerely want to find a better way of life no matter what, you'll find it.

I hope this helps.

[RatInTheWoods]

1) Exercise hard. It creates self worth, increases your motivation, and establishes a work ethic.
2) Get a job, earn money, pay your way and look after others. This will create a large self worth.
3) See mentoring/counselling/NLP to work on your inner frame - how you see the world and your place in it. It's currently broken.

You are the only person that can make the decision to change your life.

It will not be easy, but it can be done, if you do the work, and I promise you it will be worth it.

How do we know?

Because we have all done it.

Good luck man and share your journey with us.

[Yourboysteve]

Thank you for your replies everyone.

I do currently have a work out routine and I've slowly but surely been losing weight, I'm hoping that being at a low body fat will increase my confidence a little.

I'm struggling to find a job at the moment, but trying my best.

You have mentioned mentoring/counselling, I'm not familiar with that to be honest. How does it work, where should I look, what am I looking for?

[BadBoyGamer]

Approaching and gaming girls is like therapy. Therapy on steroids.

Make it your mission.

[Yourboysteve]

Do you guys feel like getting better at game helps to improve your life in a lot of different areas? And to some extent could help with the issues I'm busy having?

[RWIsrael]

(12-01-2018 07:33 AM)Yourboysteve Wrote:  

Do you guys feel like getting better at game helps to improve your life in a lot of different areas? And to some extent could help with the issues I'm busy having?

Getting better at game definitely helped me, but you need to commit and take the long view - it took you years to form your habits and internalize these beliefs and it could take months and years to reboot yourself.

As others said, getting rid of video games helps tremendously since it isolates you and makes you depressed.
The best advice someone gave me is to find a role model - ie someone who is social, good with girls, confident, and pick up on the little mannerisms in the way they talk and body language.

How is your social life and status? It sometimes helps to ditch or reduce contact with people who keep you where you are and are not willing to support your journey.

[maharajj]

(11-30-2018 03:32 PM)Yourboysteve Wrote:  

So in my current mental state, for some reason, I don't feel like anyone actually wants to interact with me.

Is there any way that I can get rid of this, or do something to change my opinion?

Have some courage, man! Have some arrogance! You're you, and no one else was, is, or can ever be you.

Half the battles in life are mental. Once your mind is conquered, you can make the outside world bend over to you. There is not a lot of competition out there for such a man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FylE5EpeAdo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFx2KUutGGY&t=112s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Px0qt0Aq7VI

Remember this-
As men, we have to *earn* everything in life? We aren't women - bestowed with nature's gifts (breasts, pussy, juicy lips, curvy hips, eye lashes etc.) and automatically becoming the envy of 50% of the population after a certain age. You have to *earn* your life.

(11-30-2018 03:32 PM)Yourboysteve Wrote:  

21, Never kissed a girl, Virgin(obviously)

Doesn't matter. If you work hard, you can age like wine and have your pick of women. Again, if you work hard. Women cant help themselves but spread their legs for successful/passionate men. Some women, will even beg you you to take their virginities.

How do you work hard?
- Pick a goal towards making money (i.e., getting power)
- Become obsessed with it. Imagine yourself having whatever you want. Hell, take sometime out of the day and even day dream about it. Develop a passion for it. It'll make you feel more alive.
PS - If you show girls your passion for the goal, they'll instinctively become your cheerleaders and will want to service you whenever you give them your time. It also shows the world that you're not a needy bitch looking for his mommy
- Work at the goal 24/7, until your body crashes on to the bed to get some sleep
- Get results. If you dont have proven results, you'll still be a nobody
PS - Results will automatically attract girls. It's like they can sniff it in a man.
- Now, once the goal is achieved, set another goal

[Yourboysteve]

I realise now that this thread probably should have been in the Life forum, but oh well. I appreciate all the replies guys. I'll try to figure this thing out.

[Frank Rook]

Apart from the good advice above, I'd like to add the importance of taking care of your diet.
Low levels of Vitamin D and sunlight exposure, especially this time of year,
( Northern Hemisphere) can affect brain and neural chemical activity.. These things along with hormonal imbalances from poor nutrition can affect mood and behavior.
Look into researching and taking note of what substances affect you and in what ways.

Also...make your bed every morning and clean your room every now and then.