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Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1
#26

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

A timely thread. I was feeling a little down yesterday and I was talking with Belgrano about this. Sometimes it feels like game is some sort of endless grind.

Another friend of mine said that it is an issue of quality and that I should strike at higher quality chicks, but for me it's more of a spiritual thing. Endlessly trying for higher quality doesn't really address the fundamental issue I keep hitting which is that I'm no longer in it because it's fun. The days of dressing up and being nervous for dates are over. I now feel like I'm sort of a robot. I have my game plan, I execute that gameplan, I pull or don't pull and I repeat.

I do it to sate some biological need to acquire more things.

I'm not blaming game for anything. In fact, I'd say game improved my life immensely. I went from 0 dates for years on end to be able to secure as many dates as I like with a nice crop of girls. They're not all 10s, but going from 0 to 6-7s on the regular with a sprinkling of 7+ really did a lot for me.

The issue I now find is that I'm fundamentally incompatible with game as a lifestyle. I just find it soul-crushingly boring.

I figure I just need to challenge myself, but I don't feel that same zest for it. I remember always being so hyped for Thurs-Sun, but now I'm like "eh, I'll cancel this date and read or prep for the gym tomorrow. There will always be another hole to plug if this one doesn't hash out."

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#27

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Fortis, how long have you been in the game?
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#28

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

I'm almost 30 now and I've been at it since around 22, so about 8 years. I still have much to learn and I won't quit, but I figure I need to figure a few things out to take the edge off.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#29

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-17-2018 12:27 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

A timely thread. I was feeling a little down yesterday and I was talking with Belgrano about this. Sometimes it feels like game is some sort of endless grind.

Another friend of mine said that it is an issue of quality and that I should strike at higher quality chicks, but for me it's more of a spiritual thing. Endlessly trying for higher quality doesn't really address the fundamental issue I keep hitting which is that I'm no longer in it because it's fun. The days of dressing up and being nervous for dates are over. I now feel like I'm sort of a robot. I have my game plan, I execute that gameplan, I pull or don't pull and I repeat.

I do it to sate some biological need to acquire more things.

I'm not blaming game for anything. In fact, I'd say game improved my life immensely. I went from 0 dates for years on end to be able to secure as many dates as I like with a nice crop of girls. They're not all 10s, but going from 0 to 6-7s on the regular with a sprinkling of 7+ really did a lot for me.

The issue I now find is that I'm fundamentally incompatible with game as a lifestyle. I just find it soul-crushingly boring.

I figure I just need to challenge myself, but I don't feel that same zest for it. I remember always being so hyped for Thurs-Sun, but now I'm like "eh, I'll cancel this date and read or prep for the gym tomorrow. There will always be another hole to plug if this one doesn't hash out."

Plateaus like this happen in everything, in work, in spirituality, in relationships.

Often though, it is that sense of aridness that forces you to take action, and I have come to find that whenever I find myself discouraged by something that used to bring me pleasure, I am right on the verge of some big breakthrough, often a change in outlook, that will change everything.

Not that the feeling doesn't suck when it is happening.

It's just that now, instead of thinking, well this sucks and it will stay the same or get worse, I interpret feelings like this as a sign that something is changing inside of me that my conscious mind hasn't caught up to yet and verbalized.

Obviously your mileage may very, but it is a possibility.

(I am thinking of the story of Distant Light here too. What a drastic change in approach he had and it fit with his personality better, and then he was off to the races.)

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
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#30

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Fortis, why do you go on dates? That sounds incredibly boring.
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#31

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

I don't mean to sound so hopeless. Once in a while, I hit a rut and feel exhausted but I'm still grateful that I can pull with consistency. I've been total incel mode in the past and I would never wish that upon anyone.

I tend to have a point at 4 months where I know I need to cycle a girl off the team. They start getting too attached and I start getting bored. Even if you tell them that it'll never be serious, they always hope that they can be your girlfriend. It's just in their nature.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#32

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

I can relate to a lot of what Fortis said. Maybe I'm just getting old and losing sex drive but in my case I think a lot of this has to do with me realising more that most women aren't really that interesting and feeling this is a bit overrated. Most times it's just not worth the squeeze anymore.

I'm really not a negative guy but it's just a fact that very few women can get me excited nowadays like they could in the past.
Sure femininity is great, but when I go on dates, I also know that I will always be giving several times more value to the girl (with wittiness, interesting subjects, paid drinks, charisma etc) than I get back. Few times have I been like "wow, this is a cool girl, she's a bit different".

Before I looked in awe at these instahoes and thought it would be so amazing to bang. Now when I finally got to a level where I've been able to sleep with a few, I see that it's a bit different from what I thought it was.

When you see an attractive girl with a nice ass, usually the first thing you think about is not how likely it is that she's just dull and don't have anything going on in her life apart from social media or that she has stupid views about the world (which is common at least here where I live).

And you think the sex will be amazing but often in bed I've had to discover that a hot chick has a smelly pussy that doesn't make the sex as good, or a bad breath. I've also discovered roast beef vaginas or in some cases a bit of hair near the asshole which are big turnoffs.
And in some cases I've even fucked up the sex myself with getting a bit too wasted or by having a gas stomach.

So more often than not my feeling after a bang is more like "wow, sure that orgasm was nice but I actually did put a hell of a lot of time and energy into it just for that".
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#33

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-17-2018 12:27 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

A timely thread. I was feeling a little down yesterday and I was talking with Belgrano about this. Sometimes it feels like game is some sort of endless grind.

Another friend of mine said that it is an issue of quality and that I should strike at higher quality chicks, but for me it's more of a spiritual thing. Endlessly trying for higher quality doesn't really address the fundamental issue I keep hitting which is that I'm no longer in it because it's fun. The days of dressing up and being nervous for dates are over. I now feel like I'm sort of a robot. I have my game plan, I execute that gameplan, I pull or don't pull and I repeat.

I do it to sate some biological need to acquire more things.

I'm not blaming game for anything. In fact, I'd say game improved my life immensely. I went from 0 dates for years on end to be able to secure as many dates as I like with a nice crop of girls. They're not all 10s, but going from 0 to 6-7s on the regular with a sprinkling of 7+ really did a lot for me.

The issue I now find is that I'm fundamentally incompatible with game as a lifestyle. I just find it soul-crushingly boring.

I figure I just need to challenge myself, but I don't feel that same zest for it. I remember always being so hyped for Thurs-Sun, but now I'm like "eh, I'll cancel this date and read or prep for the gym tomorrow. There will always be another hole to plug if this one doesn't hash out."

There's what I think the problem is. You've made game a job. If I set out a schedule to eat a steak the novelty of eating a nice juice streak will lose its excitement after a while. That's what you did to game.

You are not obligated to pick up girls. You've trained your brain to think like this. You should be okay with going weeks without picking up a chick without feeling guilty about it. You need to allow yourself a break from women because clearly, they hold too much court in your life.

Honestly, give yourself a break for a couple of weeks or for a long as possible until you get that itch to get back into the field. As I said, you are not obligated to pick up girls. Go back when you wanna go back.
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#34

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-18-2018 11:24 AM)MarsBlacc Wrote:  

Quote: (11-17-2018 12:27 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

A timely thread. I was feeling a little down yesterday and I was talking with Belgrano about this. Sometimes it feels like game is some sort of endless grind.

Another friend of mine said that it is an issue of quality and that I should strike at higher quality chicks, but for me it's more of a spiritual thing. Endlessly trying for higher quality doesn't really address the fundamental issue I keep hitting which is that I'm no longer in it because it's fun. The days of dressing up and being nervous for dates are over. I now feel like I'm sort of a robot. I have my game plan, I execute that gameplan, I pull or don't pull and I repeat.

I do it to sate some biological need to acquire more things.

I'm not blaming game for anything. In fact, I'd say game improved my life immensely. I went from 0 dates for years on end to be able to secure as many dates as I like with a nice crop of girls. They're not all 10s, but going from 0 to 6-7s on the regular with a sprinkling of 7+ really did a lot for me.

The issue I now find is that I'm fundamentally incompatible with game as a lifestyle. I just find it soul-crushingly boring.

I figure I just need to challenge myself, but I don't feel that same zest for it. I remember always being so hyped for Thurs-Sun, but now I'm like "eh, I'll cancel this date and read or prep for the gym tomorrow. There will always be another hole to plug if this one doesn't hash out."

There's what I think the problem is. You've made game a job. If I set out a schedule to eat a steak the novelty of eating a nice juice streak will lose its excitement after a while. That's what you did to game.

You are not obligated to pick up girls. You've trained your brain to think like this. You should be okay with going weeks without picking up a chick without feeling guilty about it. You need to allow yourself a break from women because clearly, they hold too much court in your life.

Honestly, give yourself a break for a couple of weeks or for a long as possible until you get that itch to get back into the field. As I said, you are not obligated to pick up girls. Go back when you wanna go back.

I have been guilty and a victim of this for such a long time. This really deserves its own thread, but I'll post a synopsis here.

Game can make you obsessed, it can drag you down a spiral almost like a drug does. Whether you have success with it or not. For me it was, and still is to some extent, a way to make up for being shy with girls in high school and being a late bloomer. But the problem is not that you're trying to fill a void, the problem is that it's extremely difficult to know when to stop. To know what to measure up against. And with all this access we have to each other's lives, even behind a screen and using nicknames, it's extremely difficult not to compare yourself to others. Even now, after knowing about Game for many years my notch count is relatively low. I have never in my life been an approach robot, I've done long periods without thinking about Game and I've done periods thinking a lot about it but not doing it enough. Lately I only approach when I feel I have no other choice i.e. I really like the girl. Last night for instance, I made essentially no approaches.

What I am getting at is that I feel sometimes we need to take a step back away from the grinder and ask why we're doing what we're doing, what we want out of it. And a somewhat specific answer is better than a vague one. Try to find peace and balance in this whole thing. Speaking for myself, I know that I will be more satisfied with getting more quality lays and/or MLTR at this point. Pulling girls I barely find attractive is just not worth it at this point.

The process should be enjoyable no matter what though. Flirting is natural and fun, I know I forget that sometimes.

If it won't matter in 30 years, it doesn't matter now.

My thoughts and memoirs: yourfriendtrent.wordpress.com
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#35

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-18-2018 06:12 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  

"wow, sure that orgasm was nice but I actually did put a hell of a lot of time and energy into it just for that".

Or as wise old Uncle Rattie would say "all that drama over a fold of skin!!!!!"
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#36

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Fortis, i also started game at the same age as you, now 22. Im curious, after 8 years i do understand you're burnt out and bored of game, but when exactly during these 8 years did the most girls. How many years did it take you to be able to get sex consistently? I've been nearly one year in the game and i feel like my theory has expanded dramatically since i started. But the lay count hasn't gone up at all yet.
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#37

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-17-2018 12:10 AM)Shemp Wrote:  

I second what the guy above said: there a contradiction between saying don't make women your primary focus and then spending huge amounts of money to have your own apartment/house, which amounts to making them your primary focus.

Pretty much this. Moving out would run me more than $40,000 a year. This is an astronomical amount of money for a guy in his early twenties like me. Spending that just to have a better shot at banging women is the definition of pedestalization to me.

You shouldn't stay at home forever, but there's definitely an argument to be made for staying put and stacking your cash. It really depends on your location IMO. I would tell a guy living with his parents in Bentonville, Arkansas to get off his ass and move out somewhere. But I would respect a guy in NY or the Silicon Valley who decides to stay put and make his money.

Also, re: Fortis -- I completely get where you're coming from. I've honestly become pretty critical of the "game"/PUA lifestyle as a result of this. The problem with endlessly approaching, spinning plates, etc is that it's fundamentally superficial. You can't open up and be vulnerable in the way that actually creates human bonds or connections. You just have the same conversations over and over again, tell the same stories over and over again, and have meaningless casual sex repeatedly. It satisfies a physical need, but spiritually, it leaves you starving. I got burned out with it after about twenty lays, found a good LTR, and have never been happier in my life.

A lot is made of the fact that "playing the field" is "alpha" or "freeing", but I honestly think that a monogamous relationship (done right) can absolutely blow the player lifestyle out of the water. Guys get way too hung up on the approaches, the lay counts, the endless spinning of the hamster wheel. They forget that what we really want is genuine human connection and fulfillment. Endlessly spitting game can be in many ways the opposite of that.
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#38

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-17-2018 12:27 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

Another friend of mine said that it is an issue of quality and that I should strike at higher quality chicks, but for me it's more of a spiritual thing. Endlessly trying for higher quality doesn't really address the fundamental issue I keep hitting which is that I'm no longer in it because it's fun. The days of dressing up and being nervous for dates are over. I now feel like I'm sort of a robot. I have my game plan, I execute that gameplan, I pull or don't pull and I repeat.

Fortis I can relate, for awhile dates were the same game plan and execution to bang.

I definitely hit a plateau for awhile, so I cut mediocre dates short, I flaked more often, I deleted numbers, and moved on fast.

What changed is being more emotionally available to women and in turn it's made my dates more fun, gone into deeper conversations I don't think I'd ever usually go into (not political/sexual history/or religion).

I went on less dates, but the quality was higher, only catch 22 is you might get disappointed when you've invested into something and burns you, but I'd rather "feel" something than be a robot.

Hence where I'm at right now with actually being interested in a steady girlfriend, but the obvious elephant in the room is that I'm "unplugged", I've got plates, and I'm so used to not being monogamous.

I was never monogamous when in my last few relationships. I fucked around the side, yet my emotions/love were for that one main girl at the time.

So now I'm trying to figure out where I want to go, as there are more important and pressing things in life than women.
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#39

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Im with Fortis. "Dating" gets fucking old after a while.

When you have the same routine, it gets boring after a while and you have to refresh.

If you use any online apps especially, you get used to telling the same fucking jokes, lines. Dating becomes like groundhogs day.

Frankly, a lot girls aren't all that different from each other, none of them are special snowflakes, so after a lot of dates, its like dating the same girl over and over again.

I'm getting older. I must have been on like a couple hundred "dates" (drinks) now. And frankly if I get no enjoyment out of it anymore.

I think the best you can do is take a break and focus not just on hotter girls but also ones you might actually like and enjoy spending time with. Otherwise, you're frankly just wasting a lot of your own time because you got to get your beak wet. I'm not saying to wife up. Just try to get some fulfillment out of it.
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#40

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-15-2018 08:28 PM)MarsBlacc Wrote:  

2. Living with your parents kills your value, identity, and results

There's nothing more repulsive than a boy that's dependent on his parents. If you're living with your parents you aren't a man. Simple. You kill your social value because you’re dependent. It’s weak and pathetic. Girls who accept this from men aren’t usually high quality anyways. If you’re 18+ and still living at home, you’re losing at life. If you are doing it to save money, you’re basically a leech. Plain and simple. Move out and rely on your own resources.

There’s something you get from being completely independent that money can’t buy. It’s pride and responsibility. It changes your swag, mindset, and identity. It’s a natural passage as a man. I don’t care if you’re living with roommates (for now), just move out of your parents. Get away from mommy and daddy. Plus, you also want to live alone to have girls over for obvious reasons. Nothing more awkward than knowing your mom is overhearing you throw some poor girl’s back out. It’s not fun, I've experienced it.

Gonna have to disagree with you about this. I am going to school and live at home. I pay for everything in my life except rent and my phone bill. Most of the of the people at my university have most if not all of their expenses paid for them by their parents. You tell me who is the true leech.

I could count on 2 hands the number of times living at home has been a problem game wise.
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#41

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Most guys who invest the time into learning game, getting better with women and going on the whole self-improvement journey are scarred and most of the times there is no denying. It is rare for a guy who grew up upper middle class and/or rich, socially well adjusted in his adolescence and had great parents to get into this. Just look at who most PUA bootcamps attract, men from more immigrant and atypical backgrounds are common.

In order for you to really do all this approaching, reading about game, talking to other guys about it and having deep discussions, something must have happened in your life to push you in this direction. You have to have the pain in you, without that pain and scarring inside of you, you just won't make it far in this journey. I don't think that is relevant to game too, I think that is relevant to a lot of great feats that happen in sports and so many other ventures out there. In a lot of cases there is that chip on your shoulder. Now this is a theme I have commonly seen in game gurus and a lot of the greats who have helped millions of men out there.

I feel like even now had I grow up in a well to do family, nice home, a lot of good friends and actually had an awesome experience with game in high school and college, there is zero chance I would have been here. I would have most likely LTR'd, wifed up and started a family by the age of 25 and whatever happens after that who knows.

How much that pain affects you determines a lot and given that the pain almost drove me to suicide, I'll never settle.

It is like no matter how much success I have, this shit will never get old for me, I have missed out on too much for that to happen. Even in my prime when I was in NYC, I felt like there were too many challenges in the game for me which made it genuinely fun. I was hurt so bad from missing out that I left a quality LTR, my only LTR, just to continue pursuing the dream. She loved me, I loved her and her parents were happy to see me, it was as if I was slowly fitting in and even made some friends through being with her. The drive was too strong too, the chip on my shoulder too big and there was too much scarring that at one point I had to call it off.

At first it was getting with a cute girl, then it was trying to get with a hot girl, then it was trying to get with hot girls of certain nationalities (flag count!), then hot girls of different demographics, then challenging myself to trying to smash the kinds of women I may have struggled with and then it was not just getting laid but trying to build a rotation and using hot girls to help better my social life.

This shit is really fucking tough, there is no lie about it at all.

It will drive you away from family, friends and a lot of people that knew you growing up. All along the way you will run into one hurdle after another, one obstacle after another and there will almost be no one in your corner. You will get a lot of hate and dislike from society as a whole because after a certain age, I genuinely feel that people hate men that do not settle down. Your fellow man will tell you how you are crazy, psycho, insane and chasing a dream and not living a "fulfilling life".

You will get guys who will try to pull you away from that journey, eventually try to get you to settle down and tell you how it is time to grow up or how much of a waste of time it all is. It will take every bone in your body and a lot of willpower to say no given our nature as people to usually try to fit in and submit. You will make enemies and a lot of people will turn on you for it, no one likes it when a man enjoys his "prime years" by sleeping around, including most other men.

But the question then becomes, how deep was the scar?

Was it one bad relationship? Then fuck, don't bother.

Was it something you could brush off? Then be like everyone else.

Was it something that was a life changing event and a significant one? Then this shit might just be for you, might.
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#42

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-19-2018 02:48 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

Quote: (11-17-2018 12:27 AM)Fortis Wrote:  

Another friend of mine said that it is an issue of quality and that I should strike at higher quality chicks, but for me it's more of a spiritual thing. Endlessly trying for higher quality doesn't really address the fundamental issue I keep hitting which is that I'm no longer in it because it's fun. The days of dressing up and being nervous for dates are over. I now feel like I'm sort of a robot. I have my game plan, I execute that gameplan, I pull or don't pull and I repeat.

Fortis I can relate, for awhile dates were the same game plan and execution to bang.

I definitely hit a plateau for awhile, so I cut mediocre dates short, I flaked more often, I deleted numbers, and moved on fast.

What changed is being more emotionally available to women and in turn it's made my dates more fun, gone into deeper conversations I don't think I'd ever usually go into (not political/sexual history/or religion).

I went on less dates, but the quality was higher, only catch 22 is you might get disappointed when you've invested into something and burns you, but I'd rather "feel" something than be a robot.

Hence where I'm at right now with actually being interested in a steady girlfriend, but the obvious elephant in the room is that I'm "unplugged", I've got plates, and I'm so used to not being monogamous.

I was never monogamous when in my last few relationships. I fucked around the side, yet my emotions/love were for that one main girl at the time.

So now I'm trying to figure out where I want to go, as there are more important and pressing things in life than women.

Thanks Deb and Kaotic.

Yeah, I've been moving in that direction too. I've slowly been cutting all the alcohol dates and been bringing chicks rock climbing or something else. I'm just over a lot of the basic shit.

It's a bit funny because I'm on TRT and have a healthy sex drive but my hatred of boredom outstrips my sex drive 99% of the time when it comes to talking to a boring ass chick. I"m not expecting to be wow'd with Kant quotes and shit, but sometimes I can just take a look at a chick and be like "unless we're fucking immediately, I'm not even bothering trying to bang you."

I don't mean to sound lazy, but unless I'm genuinely interested in meeting a girl, I just next.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#43

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

^^ Completely normal, it's like buying a new toy and throwing it on your bed after 2 weeks. It's like finishing that new video game and needing a new one because you're bored.

You keep doing the same shit and keeping it to the basic level of screening and looking for sex and you realize, there's little point in devoting the time and effort into it but you only realize this when you're good and it's no longer a challenge.

You can go for the higher, more elite women or try and bang 100. It doesn't matter because you're still triggering the same points in your brain. Once you relinquish the ego and its attachment to fucking women, then you understand it's just another itch you need to scratch.

Once you've scratched it hard enough, it's sore and turns in to a scab until the next itch.

edit for clarity: if interactions with women were on a 0-100 scale with:

0: meeting
50: sex
100: devotion/companionship/unicorn

You're constantly going from 0-20/50/70 with most women that you get bored of that.

Like the video game analogy, you can master levels 1-5 but if you don't get to level 6 or find it interesting, you just forget about it.

Expectation management with women is not talked about enough. I discussed this with a mate who got into the game shortly after me, in 2008 and he still expects intellectual conversations from women. This is an example.

Define what you expect before you start getting annoyed with them out of frustration for shit you haven't defined.
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#44

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote:Quote:

I've got better things to do with my life than annoy a 1000 random women in a shopping mall in the hope of getting my dick wet.

As Kaotic said: "We're WAY beyond that, we're into lifestyles, travel, self help, money making, philosophical, political, etc."

Always suprises me when people say this kind of crap.

Plenty of guys who have their lives in order, but are pathetic when it comes to girls. Only way to get good with girls is to practice.

You cannot "lifestyle" yourself to be socially calibrated. You cannot "lifestyle" yourself to get over insecurities and fear. You cannot "lifestyle" yourself to stop being a virgin. You cannot "lifestyle" a girlfriend out of thin air.

Also funny how you use the word "annoy". Most girls I approach seem to really like being approached. It literally makes their day or week. One little compliment can make a bored and unhappy girl into a smiling and happy girl.

But I guess you are WAY above that: making a girl smile is for losers. Talking to girls is for low level guys. Sharing enjoyable sexual pleasures is for immature kiddos. Right?

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
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#45

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

^^ They're not mutually exclusive and I am sure 'annoy' was used in a self-depreciating manner to get a point across.

I admire your outlook and how you enjoy approaching but that's about it.

Interesting to notice the influx of butthurt posters who can't take any form of disagreement and start threads that are re-inventing the wheel.
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#46

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-18-2018 06:15 PM)chvrches Wrote:  

Fortis, i also started game at the same age as you, now 22. Im curious, after 8 years i do understand you're burnt out and bored of game, but when exactly during these 8 years did the most girls. How many years did it take you to be able to get sex consistently? I've been nearly one year in the game and i feel like my theory has expanded dramatically since i started. But the lay count hasn't gone up at all yet.

Game didn't really click for me until like 25.

I think if I could point to one thing that really helped my game solidify, it was befriending RVFers and going to meetups. Guys here are pretty cool if you're real about the fact that you're new. Also it's just nice to see people approaching and having fun like normal people and not like these weird approach robots that RSD seems to churn out.

I remember getting roasted by guys from the NYC crew for silly text game mistakes, but that ultimately helped me learn how to text and set up dates.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#47

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Quote: (11-20-2018 04:38 AM)Noir Wrote:  

^^ Completely normal, it's like buying a new toy and throwing it on your bed after 2 weeks. It's like finishing that new video game and needing a new one because you're bored.

You keep doing the same shit and keeping it to the basic level of screening and looking for sex and you realize, there's little point in devoting the time and effort into it but you only realize this when you're good and it's no longer a challenge.

You can go for the higher, more elite women or try and bang 100. It doesn't matter because you're still triggering the same points in your brain. Once you relinquish the ego and its attachment to fucking women, then you understand it's just another itch you need to scratch.

Once you've scratched it hard enough, it's sore and turns in to a scab until the next itch.

edit for clarity: if interactions with women were on a 0-100 scale with:

0: meeting
50: sex
100: devotion/companionship/unicorn

You're constantly going from 0-20/50/70 with most women that you get bored of that.

Like the video game analogy, you can master levels 1-5 but if you don't get to level 6 or find it interesting, you just forget about it.

Expectation management with women is not talked about enough. I discussed this with a mate who got into the game shortly after me, in 2008 and he still expects intellectual conversations from women. This is an example.

Define what you expect before you start getting annoyed with them out of frustration for shit you haven't defined.

Expectation management is critical.

Guys should really have a mental note of the things that frustrate them the most, and consciously remind themselves that these things are a reality of dealing with dating and women.

If you consciously remind yourself, accept these things, and catch yourself within an interaction when an expectation comes back - you can very quickly reset, keep your cool/keep balanced, and even walk away if need be, and save so much emotional energy for the rest of the day.

Here's something that compliments that really well too...

Have some sort of passion project or thing going on in your life that you really enjoy or provides you predictable returns away from game.

I can't count the amount of times in the last 2-3 years I've gone straight back to working on business stuff (that I know will make me money and increase the future quality of my life) literally straight after filtering out a Tinder girl who was flaky, or meeting with a girl who didn't want to put out on the first date.

This stuff used to really piss me off sometimes because I looked at it like wasted time and I got annoyed at the girl for what I thought was her wasting my time.

But, if you expect these things as part of the dance from the beginning (and consciously accept you're putting yourself into the dance and that this is all part of it), you have your behavior prepared for it (to filter out certain behaviors from the girl), and you have a way to re-direct your energy to keep momentum going - it can be the difference between constantly get frustrated by things, and having things bounce straight off and saving mental/emotional energy.
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#48

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Despite not being a "hustler", or even very active on the dating scene, I still felt some fatigue around a year ago, here is what I changed:

1. I started working a lot more on my SMV (not only for gaming reasons). I hope a high SMV will eventually reduce the need for "game" (here I mean "game" as in the over-analytical, almost cynical and life-sucking meaning of the word). Call me a narcissist but it is also a great feeling knowing that it is not some pro-boner charity thing if a girl were to go home with me, it is a decent deal for all parties.

2. When I go on dates now I do not say stuff that I think the girl wants to hear in order for her to fuck me. I just say whatever I want to say and see whoever is still around when I am done. I have basically adopted a "no vibe - I'm out" approach. If the girl is entitled or boring I just cut it short (or never meet in the first place if we are talking online). This will reduce the total number of dates for sure, but honestly sitting for hours listening to a super-boring girl at some Italian restaurant just because she has a nice body will make you question your existence eventually.
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#49

Lessons I Learned About Pickup/Women After 8 Years Hustling pt. 1

Great post OP and I echo a lot of the points made +1 from me. Looking forward to the next part






Quote: (11-16-2018 12:41 AM)Eugenics Wrote:  

8 years and that's what you have for insight?

3 years on the forum, well over 1,000 posts and 16 reps is all the respect you have to show for it?... [Image: dodgy.gif]

Irish
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