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What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?
#1

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I'm working in a smaller firm (engineering) and haven't seen a woman there in over a year. We don't have a HR department so I don't know much about it.

But it seems like HR has exploded lately! Many of my dates this year has worked in some HR department and their job titles have ranged from HR specialist, HR strategist to staff expert. I tried to ask one girl more specifically about it but she just gave me this look like I was a bit dumb (but I've never had to engage with these so I don't know) but she just told me how she loved it because she was able to work with people and had studied this for 3 years and it was amazing. But I couldn't get her to be that specific.

Are they basically just doing job interviews?
But I don't think someone who's not an engineer themselves would know much about who's fit for a job at a workplace like mine.

Some I'm just a bit curios. What are the good use of these?
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#2

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

HR is basically a class of people - overwhelmingly women - who are tasked with figuring out how to fire people who it has been decided need to be fired without getting sued.

In some parts of the United States, you'll find that nursing attracts a lot of women who don't really want to do anything but they need a job that pays well, and they can hack the math, so they end up studying nursing even though they hate it and just pretend it's their calling. If you can't hack the math, you study HR and tell yourself it's really important.

Hidey-ho, RVFerinos!
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#3

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

In my case, HR scheduled my entire office for our annual “Diversity & Inclusion” training. Basically 4 hours of mental abuse by a couple of chicks.
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#4

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Their job is to keep really attractive women out.
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#5

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

The purpose of HR is to protect CEOs and shareholders from the workforce.
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#6

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

HR is there to regulate people's behavior, as if the office was a continuation of the Catholic schools its female workers always seem to come from.

They rope everyone into seminars about sexual harassment, discrimination, what you can and can't say, etc. They send out memos with rules about what you can and can't wear.

In my old newspaper office, the HR director once sent a woman in the advertising department home to change her shirt because it was supposedly "too low-cut" and deemed "overly risqué."

***

Their other big job is cheerleading each and every bad decision management makes, no matter how awful or destructive to the company.

In the case of my old company, it went into bankruptcy. And yet management still found a way to give themselves something like $5 million worth of raises.

They called a meeting to explain this to us. One of the smarmy "management team" members practically twisted himself into knots trying to justify it. He pontificated for nearly an hour. Our HR director was there to help him out. This consisted of her cheering him on, saying "Yes! Yes!" and nodding her head. By the end of the meeting she was practically in a state of orgasm because of all the "YES!-ing."

Here is actual footage of our HR director at that meeting, right at the point where management told us "No raises for you, but lots for us!"



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#7

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I guess it has already been answered but they are there to fire people and do the 'dirty' work management can't be seen doing because they would get a bad reputation. They can always shield their decisions and actions behind HR.

The real question should be why are most HR comprised of fatties? (Though I once worked with a stunner that had a tramp stamp...)

I have a very bad opinion of HR. The last two in my work where giant hambeasts. Dumb as fuck and their only real interest was to suck up to the bosses. They would spend their day on Linkedin and other social networks, gossip, and not much else.

They really didn't do interviews, they would just sit there with management trying to look important. In my opinion they don't do jack shit and are always annoying people with petty grievances.
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#8

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-15-2018 11:34 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

HR is basically a class of people - overwhelmingly women - who are tasked with figuring out how to fire people who it has been decided need to be fired without getting sued.

In some parts of the United States, you'll find that nursing attracts a lot of women who don't really want to do anything but they need a job that pays well, and they can hack the math, so they end up studying nursing even though they hate it and just pretend it's their calling. If you can't hack the math, you study HR and tell yourself it's really important.

Nominally this is the idea behind HR. In practice HR is a way to bring gossip and school lunchroom politics into the workplace by feminizing the gatekeeping. In doing so it subordinates the company's mission to female forms of status competition.
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#9

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

HR's daily routine.

1. Show up 20 minutes late.
2. Gossip
3. Drink fattening lattes
4. Gossip
5. Gossip
6. refill a stapler
7. Gossip
8. Piss break
9. Gossip in the bathroom
10. Set up an interview for the candidate with the most unqualified resume.
11. Harass hard working men for a joke that's construed as sexual harassment.
12. Lunch
13. Repeat
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#10

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

They surf social media ofcourse.













And plenty of sugary treats.
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#11

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

HR is the quintessential "make work" project. For the actual work they do, or more accurately the work they're needed for, I'm sure the average HR department could get by with 50% of their staff or less. Hiring, firing, token diversity initiatives to avoid getting sued. How much time and energy do these tasks ultimately require? Each worker probably does 2-4 hours of real, necessary work per day.

At its core the very existence of the HR field is another form of using government and corporations to transfer wealth and power from men to women.
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#12

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I’ll attempt to answer the question without pontification…

1. Yes they do job interviews. That’s the fun part, since the candidates are all on their best supplicating behavior, and this is where the harpies absorb the most ego power. Those job interviews come after hiring managers have expressed a need, and HR devises a proper job description, if needed. The budget for the position would also need to be approved, and HR spends a lot of time determining the “appropriate” amount - enough to attract the candidate, and limited enough to be approved by the purse string holders, all while taking into consideration potential lawsuits about women or minorities not getting paid the same, and making sure they can prove that’s not the case if push comes to shove.

2. If they don’t outsource it, HR does payroll. This is exceedingly complex, with all the programs and benefits a company offers, as well as making sure Uncle Sam gets his cut. HR negotiates with health insurance providers, dental providers, vision plans, savings plan companies, and other BS stuff like free bus tokens and other subsidies as part of the total compensation package. Employees are constantly changing their health insurance plans, and withholdings etc. as life events occur, and these changes need to be enacted. HR writes the company manual detailing all of these offerings, along with all company rules which constantly need to be updated as people find new ways to weasel the system.

3. HR manages your company’s personnel file. This is a significant administrative burden as new people get fired, people get transferred, they change positions, or resign. Depending on the type of company, HR would manage the global communication systems and asset tracking, making sure that mass e-mails or texts can be sent out, particularly for emergencies, and that all digital and physical access is ended, and all company-owned assets are returned, once an employee departs. HR also fields calls from employment verification references, and makes them too, while tiptoeing around Byzantine rules to make sure the company doesn’t get sued for saying the wrong thing.

4. Compensation management and employee performance tracking is a large analytic component. Annual raises need to be determined based on the company’s performance, and promotions need to be reviewed and determined. Any stragglers need to be let go, and that must be done carefully and with proper documentation to avoid lawsuits.

5. Since payroll is such a large component of a company’s expenditures, management is always looking for ways trim fat and fire unnecessary people. HR fields what-if inquiries from management and advises on what will happen as people are hired and fired in various scenarios.

6. Lastly, HR responds to all babysitting issues that arise from employees causing problems in the organization, and issues edicts accordingly related to dress code and other authoritarian culture issues. They also make you attend those mandatory trainings to make sure you know everything is considered sexual harassment.
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#13

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I work in technical sales. Today I had an job interview, they look for kind of an project engineer / HR specialist. Its about select high skilled professionals for companies. In the talk the guy said, they looking for someone with a technical background that understands the issues of the customer. Sounds interesting.

Real good personal management is not very common. How to get A class people, how select out B and C performers. How to keep the A class people, how make things smooth. How not to demotivate people because of the company structure. For me it seems most women are very good at doing tasks that are given to them and have a certain routine. To think long term is not very common. HR is also a lost career choice in many companies. For me its insane how companies can treat it that bad. C performers mess up your company, managers that think only about the profit and not in value and long term and HR women that love to chat all day and do ordinary tasks.

You could run the HR with 1/3 of people when you have the right ones. And your company will never run out of a pool of skilled employees.

We will stand tall in the sunshine
With the truth upon our side
And if we have to go alone
We'll go alone with pride


For us, these conflicts can be resolved by appeal to the deeply ingrained higher principle embodied in the law, that individuals have the right (within defined limits) to choose how to live. But this Western notion of individualism and tolerance is by no means a conception in all cultures. - Theodore Dalrymple
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#14

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

All good descriptions but here's a direct quote from a book that should sum it up for you:

Quote:Quote:

Well, I can't speak for all HR people but I think most HR people get into the setting because they like people. It is a position that is predominantly held by females, I would guess 90% conservatively and I believe they truly begin the job with a desire to help people, but eventually, they become hounds for the Corporation and it becomes more about protecting the company than the employee.

They try to pass themselves off like they are your advocate, once you are with the company, but they are not. It makes one think of that that well-meaning guidance counselor or social worker, paving the road to hell with good intentions. What starts out as a genuine concern for the trusting employee,all too quickly becomes a hushed discussion about risk management behind upper management’s closed doors with ―layoffs‖ quick to follow.

Quote: (08-18-2016 12:05 PM)dicknixon72 Wrote:  
...and nothing quite surprises me anymore. If I looked out my showroom window and saw a fully-nude woman force-fucking an alligator with a strap-on while snorting xanex on the roof of her rental car with her three children locked inside with the windows rolled up, I wouldn't be entirely amazed.
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#15

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

10% online shopping, 20% yakking with the other chicks
15% at lunch
5% of actual work, and 50% on social media on her phone.
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#16

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I love this blog of a professional headhunter that exposes HR departments for the septic tanks that they are and provides actionable advice on how to get job interviews and get hired without having to go through HR:

https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/8783/hr...or-get-out
https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/8064/ho...applicants
https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/12191/c...to-kill-hr
https://www.asktheheadhunter.com/7514/ne...t-shortage

"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before
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#17

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

A PR stunt to make male dominated workplaces look less male dominated?
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#18

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Then, when a company is too large or has too many sites to conduct one big "diversity training" meeting.

They dull sparks trot out their inane online "training" packages.
Filled with inane content, presented in tiresome ways.
All the while, so easy to skip through or so easy to circumvent. The entire exercise becomes pointless.
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#19

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I think American style HR is a consequence of another bad trait of USA - the tendency to sue a lot. In most parts of the world you would not see people suing each other over the small insignificant things Americans sue each other like hurt feelings, lack of warnings about unimaginable misuses of products and other stuff. I think America is a great nation but the feeling that you must walk on eggshells to not get sued for a variety of minor stupid things is a very bad thing. This ever present danger of getting sued is actually causing a lot of enforced political correctness and also gives reason for big bloated HR to exist.

I think that if USA wants to end with oppressive political correctness, they must not only fight for conservative values but change their legal system to make people sueing each other over trivial stuff less of an incentive.

In most other countries there is no HR or if there is their tasks besides conducting interviews are organizing courses, seminars, staff excursions, Christmas and New years parties and gifts, updating photos of staff members, congratulating people on birthdays, making insurance deals for employees, making sure everybody receives all the tools and equipment for their job and other actually useful and pleasant things that actually make work more attractive. At least that is what the equivalent of HR does in the company I work.

Also since in my country both birthrates and immigration are low - every moderately competent employee is valuable and HR works to keep people in and attract them instead of thinking how to fire them.

So another important thing you can do to keep HR benign and not abusive is decrease immigration.
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#20

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Trial cases from work issues are way lower in France, indeed. Certainly HR are not in my opinion the best part of a company, but in general they do fine (however recently the feminist minister Marlene Schiappa has decided to put a dose of "sexual harassment training" in the companies).
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#21

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-15-2018 07:34 PM)Bacchus Wrote:  

10% online shopping, 20% yakking with the other chicks
15% at lunch
5% of actual work, and 50% on social media on her phone.

Really it's a good questions though, because arranging a few seminars about work place micro aggressions and such doesn't take up 8 hours a day.
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#22

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-15-2018 11:08 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  

Are they basically just doing job interviews?
No, at least not in the UK, HR are present at interviews for accountability reasons but they rarely lead them and if they do lead them, don't work for that company.

HR is essentially the gatekeepers of the upper management, ensuring that the company and senior management are protected from the riff raff.

Depending on the level of their experience, they could be dealing with basic admin such as employment paperwork and ensuring it's all correct and present to being further up the chain and managing the gaggle of hens as well as ensuring compliance with company diversity, recruitment and other employment policy as well as dealing with grievances and disciplinary procedures to those at the top who monitor employment law and keep the company in check. Always be protecting to the top brass and company however.

Most places I've worked have Payroll under Accounting/Finance not HR although it's not uncommon to have Payroll fall under HR.

Like Compliance, HR is a bullshit department that is used as a weapon against employees and the workers should be treated with contempt, they merely get in the way of business and end up fucking you and themselves over.
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#23

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

My gf does a job called HR Recruiting Coordinator at Facebook. They have so many of these jobs that no one has any work to do so she spends much of the day sitting around doing nothing. Some days she might send 4-5 emails, that’s it

She gets €45k for fuck all + free food, more than a UK grad engineer

The position is basically unskilled. It just involves scheduling interviews and checking recruiters calendars for availability

Recruiters get paid much more + bonuses. Also a fairly cushy job but at least there’s an element of skill and end result involved

It made me realise that pay is not due to supply or demand or even skill set involved. It’s fairly arbitrary. If a company has money to burn on bullshit jobs it will burn it.

Meanwhile a junior doctor in the public sector somewhere else is busting their arse and getting paid peanuts
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#24

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

Quote: (11-15-2018 07:34 PM)Bacchus Wrote:  

10% online shopping, 20% yakking with the other chicks
15% at lunch
5% of actual work, and 50% on social media on her phone.


+1
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#25

What are the chicks working in the HR department actually doing?

I think its very company dependent. Think its been mostly pointed out already but there quite a bit of paperwork and processing you need to do. Health Insurance, Benefits, Deductions, 401k's, Background checks, Tax forms. Constant government changes to all this at federal, state level and city . If a company has a high turnover rate and is in the 50-200 person range you pretty much start needing an HR person to do and keep track of all of that and avoid any fuck ups where you can be sued.

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