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How much control should you exert in an LTR?
#76

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

This thread delivers.

Jefferson, enjoy every second of this, man. I think you love the chaos and to be perfectly blunt, if you did manage to get a good thing going with a more stable girl, you'd probably muck that up too given enough time, so my advice would be to just let the chips fall where they may.

Until then, ride it like you stole it.
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#77

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

There is an element of that, simple because I come from a relationship which became fairly monotonous, focused on children, I have to admit the drama with this girl was sometimes a thrill ride which was new.

But actually the drama is also irritating. We were all sweetness now for a few days. We were talking about apartments to choose as I intended to fly to her country. It so happened we were looking at a city where I knew she was previously kept in an apartment by another guy. So I asked what the quality of apartments is like there, where this apartment was (also because I don't want to end up in the same condo unit where she fucked an ex). She replied 'it doesn't matter', in a very irritated manner, and basically refused to tell me where this apartment was. I ended the phone conversation. So we are again back to irritation and the days of sweetness have given way to yet another episode of tension.

She now texted me she didn't want me to come where she was, she really wanted to leave her country and live in Japan or Singapore. It's just becoming very annoying. Instead of valuing the fact that we can be together she's now bitching about the fact she would have to stay a while where she is now and that she wanted to live in Singapore.

To be honest, I 'm getting a bit tired of this behaviour which is sweet as sugar for a few days, followed by inevitable bouts of cold bitchiness.

I wonder if I went all the way there would things really change or would she still make unreasonable demands and continue to turn on the coldness every few days. I don't really enjoy that, to be honest.
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#78

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-21-2018 09:29 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  

There is an element of that, simple because I come from a relationship which became fairly monotonous, focused on children, I have to admit the drama with this girl was sometimes a thrill ride which was new.

But actually the drama is also irritating. We were all sweetness now for a few days. We were talking about apartments to choose as I intended to fly to her country. It so happened we were looking at a city where I knew she was previously kept in an apartment by another guy. So I asked what the quality of apartments is like there, where this apartment was (also because I don't want to end up in the same condo unit where she fucked an ex). She replied 'it doesn't matter', in a very irritated manner, and basically refused to tell me where this apartment was. I ended the phone conversation. So we are again back to irritation and the days of sweetness have given way to yet another episode of tension.

She now texted me she didn't want me to come where she was, she really wanted to leave her country and live in Japan or Singapore. It's just becoming very annoying. Instead of valuing the fact that we can be together she's now bitching about the fact she would have to stay a while where she is now and that she wanted to live in Singapore.

To be honest, I 'm getting a bit tired of this behaviour which is sweet as sugar for a few days, followed by inevitable bouts of cold bitchiness.

I wonder if I went all the way there would things really change or would she still make unreasonable demands and continue to turn on the coldness every few days. I don't really enjoy that, to be honest.

Ride it like you stole it, Jefferson.

Her pussy owes you money, isn't paying up, and you're the Italian Mafia.

That's it.

Forget the rest.
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#79

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Her pussy always pays up. If I'm there I'd be cashing in like Bugsy Siegel.

It's what's around the pussy that's the problem.
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#80

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-21-2018 09:29 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  

There is an element of that, simple because I come from a relationship which became fairly monotonous, focused on children, I have to admit the drama with this girl was sometimes a thrill ride which was new.

But actually the drama is also irritating. We were all sweetness now for a few days. We were talking about apartments to choose as I intended to fly to her country. It so happened we were looking at a city where I knew she was previously kept in an apartment by another guy. So I asked what the quality of apartments is like there, where this apartment was (also because I don't want to end up in the same condo unit where she fucked an ex). She replied 'it doesn't matter', in a very irritated manner, and basically refused to tell me where this apartment was. I ended the phone conversation. So we are again back to irritation and the days of sweetness have given way to yet another episode of tension.

She now texted me she didn't want me to come where she was, she really wanted to leave her country and live in Japan or Singapore. It's just becoming very annoying. Instead of valuing the fact that we can be together she's now bitching about the fact she would have to stay a while where she is now and that she wanted to live in Singapore.

To be honest, I 'm getting a bit tired of this behaviour which is sweet as sugar for a few days, followed by inevitable bouts of cold bitchiness.

I wonder if I went all the way there would things really change or would she still make unreasonable demands and continue to turn on the coldness every few days. I don't really enjoy that, to be honest.

Daddy issues:
Of course she would continue to act poorly. This girl clearly has deep seeded psychological issues. She never got enough love and attention from her dad and now she probably has a complex regarding male attention and validation that will most likely never be cured. It's no surprise to me that one of her regular hobbies is pinging her many male orbiters. If you force her to block them on social media she will just itch for their attention even more and she will establish more furtive modes of communication. When they were on her accounts you at least had a chance of knowing when you were officially cucked. Attention from a single man is rarely enough for a woman with this breed of daddy issues.

Recreating a familiar form of love:
Some of these women actually subconsciously strive to recreate the dysfunctional relationship they had with their father because it's what is familiar and comfortable to them. You come in thinking you are going to be her sugar daddy in shining armor to give her the safety and stability she so desperately lacked growing up, but that's probably not what she wants at all. Her concept of true love is probably abnormal and might even be paradoxical and impossible to live up to. I get the impression she may at this point see you as an easy to manipulate tool that she deems less than half the man her emotionally aloof father was. She treats you like shit and nevertheless you apparently left a wife and kids for her.

Control:
She says jump and you ask how high. Your preoccupation with the apartments removed all doubt you're still thinking about her exes and/or that you're still her lackey. The fact that she has controlled you so many times and with relative ease is a big reason she doesn't respect you and maybe never will. She even complacently gloated in your face when you back tracked on one of your ultimatums. I don't see this girl quitting the emotional abuse roller coaster anytime soon. If things start to go smoothly she will just start pushing your buttons and testing her power until you flip out and fake dump her for the umpteenth time.

You guys have been apart and she doesn't even want you to visit. How can you rationalize an utter lack of desire to see you. There's a chance she has another guy around and is just looking for a scapegoat excuse for you guys to be in a fight. She is aware that getting caught cheating is the one thing she might not be able to get away with. She regularly exhibits pathological behavior and even if you perfectly play the role of her emotionally absent father she will probably just get bored and miss the thrill of riding the roller coaster.

If you told her you're cutting off the gravy train for six months in response to her bad behavior do you think she would stick around? Until you do something lasting to prove you're truly willing to walk away in the face of this atrocious behavior, there's zero chance this improves. She knows your threats are empty at this point. If she's mostly in it for the money, which seems to be the case, you could easily find something much healthier and much less of a headache.
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#81

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

If you have to control her, she wasn't LTR material to begin with.
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#82

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

Of course she would continue to act poorly. This girl clearly has deep seeded psychological issues.

That is clearly the case.

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

She never got enough love and attention from her dad and now she probably has a complex regarding male attention and validation that will most likely never be cured. It's no surprise to me that one of her regular hobbies is pinging her many male orbiters.

She is a bit of a narcissist. She used to change her profile pic very regularly. The orbiters were more of an audience. She would not write to them a lot, just comment when she posted a pic. Since she has an unusually beautiful face and body that is pretty much her only accomplishment in life.

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

If you force her to block them on social media she will just itch for their attention even more and she will establish more furtive modes of communication. When they were on her accounts you at least had a chance of knowing when you were officially cucked. Attention from a single man is rarely enough for a woman with this breed of daddy issues.

Well her writing secrety to two of her exes almost was too much for me and I ended it then. We have a huge fight, just brutal. She fell on her knees, kissed my feet and begged me to stay. Swore she would never ever write to this guy again, he could drop dead. What did she do after another fight, call this guy from my apartment, ask him for relationship advice (he advised her to walk away from me, surprise surprise), and add him on Whatsapp. Plus another guy. It's fairly clear I'd have constantly monitor her phone if I were with this woman. Too much work.


Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

She says jump and you ask how high.

Errr, no. I don't know where you got that from.

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

Your preoccupation with the apartments removed all doubt you're still thinking about her exes and/or that you're still her lackey.

I don't see how looking for an apartment makes me a lackey, but since I found out she lied to me and had six, not two, previous men, was writing secretly to three, and told me all the details in technicolour it is indeed the case that this issue has crossed my mind on occasion.

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

You guys have been apart and she doesn't even want you to visit.

That's what says after an argument, she always wants to hurt you during and after an argument. She said and did a lot of things. None of which were true. She's broken up with me for about 129 times 'for real'. I'm fairly sure if I went there she'd be moving in with me from arrival day.

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

How can you rationalize an utter lack of desire to see you.

Well, it's not real. She's just saying that in order to hurt me. To get attention. Because I ignore her now when she becomes caustic.

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

There's a chance she has another guy around and is just looking for a scapegoat excuse for you guys to be in a fight.

It's very unlikely she has another guy, I call her at random and she texts me non stop. When she did have another guy, a week after we first met, she went AWOL for days, because she was busy with that other guy. This is not the case at all now. But you may have a point, at this stage she may be so jaded by the online arguments that she wants an excuse to end it. To be honest I'm also fed up with the constant arguments.

Quote: (11-05-2018 07:46 PM)SlickyBoy Wrote:  

If you told her you're cutting off the gravy train for six months in response to her bad behavior do you think she would stick around? Until you do something lasting to prove you're truly willing to walk away in the face of this atrocious behavior, there's zero chance this improves. She knows your threats are empty at this point. If she's mostly in it for the money, which seems to be the case, you could easily find something much healthier and much less of a headache.

If she were in it for the money she would not break up with me. She does that all the time. Of course if I cut her off for six months she'd just find another guy, with her face and body, she has a photo portfolio to rival any model, she knows very well she'd hook up with a thirsty guy in a heartbeat. I actually told her recently what have you ever done to show me you love me? She replied, well I don't go out and I don't party, I don't pursue other guys, like a girl my age could, but of course you don't appreciate that'.
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#83

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

The latest argument literally took the biscuit.

Just now we spoke on the phone. I can tell she's stand-offish, hardly saying anything. When she does it sounds aggressive and unpleasant.

I hear something and ask what she's doing. She replies 'Eating a biscuit'. Me 'What kind of biscuit?', She 'A biscuit', annoyed. I say 'Well there are different kinds of biscuit', She 'Such as?', Me 'Never mind, if you don't want to tell me it's ok, have a nice night, goodbye', Her, very annoyed now 'Yes, we don't have to talk'. I then get a text 'If you ever come, find another girlfriend or you can contact that Angelica on your Insta. I will find a guy who will take me somewhere else nice and new'. Cause unfortunately you can't'. She's referring to me having been restructured at my law firm to become a consultant, so I no longer have a salary but get 50 per cent of my billings. She doesn't believe I could earn 12,000 USD a month that way. Oh well, her loss.

I am tired of her now. I haven't even replied. It is just toxic and exhausting. I don't want this anymore.
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#84

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

This thread is illuminating, Jefferson. I've never had a firsthand look into the world of sponsoring before this, not this detailed anyhow.

My overall impression so far is it's similar to P4P, but much more expensive, because she's giving you the impression that she's your girlfriend and cares for you. It's that girlfriend-experience, however bad the quality of that experience is here, that seems to drive the price up exponentially.

Also, this girl is good enough to make money off of it, but she could be extracting much more money from you if she was more on point.
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#85

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-21-2018 09:01 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  

The latest argument literally took the biscuit.

Just now we spoke on the phone. I can tell she's stand-offish, hardly saying anything. When she does it sounds aggressive and unpleasant.

I hear something and ask what she's doing. She replies 'Eating a biscuit'. Me 'What kind of biscuit?', She 'A biscuit', annoyed. I say 'Well there are different kinds of biscuit', She 'Such as?', Me 'Never mind, if you don't want to tell me it's ok, have a nice night, goodbye', Her, very annoyed now 'Yes, we don't have to talk'. I then get a text 'If you ever come, find another girlfriend or you can contact that Angelica on your Insta. I will find a guy who will take me somewhere else nice and new'. Cause unfortunately you can't'. She's referring to me having been restructured at my law firm to become a consultant, so I no longer have a salary but get 50 per cent of my billings. She doesn't believe I could earn 12,000 USD a month that way. Oh well, her loss.

I am tired of her now. I haven't even replied. It is just toxic and exhausting. I don't want this anymore.

'Never mind, if you don't want to tell me it's ok, have a nice night, goodbye'

Presumably you realize your comment is contradictory and passive aggressive. You're saying everything is fine but punishing her by ending the conversation in an immature way, ironically because she's being immature. Mature men usually don't deal with something they don't like by bitterly and passively slinking away. You're again escalating the drama by having an emotional reaction to her being a brat. You know this girl is going to spaz but you do it nonetheless.

I will find a guy who will take me somewhere else nice and new'. Cause unfortunately you can't'.

I suspect the first times she did this you didn't call her out and establish it as unacceptable deal breaker behavior. This is what I meant by the lackey dynamic she establishes. She sees you as her servant assistant that she can just walk all over when you make a mistake. "This is the wrong flavor latte, you're a worthless loser that can't do anything right!" You brush off the abuse and say she doesn't mean it because she's just mad, but her words reveal her belief that you are not even worthy of her verbal respect.

It's a huge mistake to tell a woman about the specifics of your career or financial situation (the latter even vaguely). Sure enough it backfired. You gave this girl way too much power and she has no problem abusing it. By trying to qualify yourself to her that you can in fact make 12k a month is just further bolstering the frame that she is your boss and you are her lackey.
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#86

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Respectfully, be a man and end this for good.
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#87

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-21-2018 10:34 PM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

This thread is illuminating, Jefferson. I've never had a firsthand look into the world of sponsoring before this, not this detailed anyhow.

My overall impression so far is it's similar to P4P, but much more expensive, because she's giving you the impression that she's your girlfriend and cares for you. It's that girlfriend-experience, however bad the quality of that experience is here, that seems to drive the price up exponentially.

Also, this girl is good enough to make money off of it, but she could be extracting much more money from you if she was more on point.

Well she did not just give me the impression that she cares for me. She travelled literally around the whole world three times in the last 12 months to be with me, it's a three day trip, Davao-Singapore-London-Cayman Islands. Three times. She writes how she loves me, she says it, but by her actions too, let me tell you she has done things in bed for me no prostitute would do for money, wakes me up with a blow job in the morning, in the middle of the night. Cooks lunch and gives me a blow job after. When I drive to work in the morning she'd check the internet to see what the traffic is like and warn me.

But she's not consistent. She does this for four or five days at the most. Then she blows up with some drama. And as you can tell I'm not Mr Easy to deal with either.

About the money, for six months she never asked a penny. Then after I'd gone to see her and she went on that fucking holiday a week after with another guy, I think because he seemed very rich and pleasant she regretted that, because he was too old. So she got in touch with me and said something about their store had problems because a delivery was no good, what they were going to do for money. She kept saying she might have to get a job in Taiwan and therefore we couldn't be in touch anymore. So out of myself I offered to send 500 bucks. And so it started. She'd indirectly make a statement about some financial issue. And I'd send a bit of cash. That was that. Irregular. Now and then. Then when I wanted to bring her to London I thought for the visa she'd have to show she has 1500 GBP in a bank account, turns out she didn't, but I sent that money anyway. In London I'd give her a little cash here and there. We broke up. Then when she came to Cayman at some point she demanded a regular allowance. Ostensibly because she was afraid we'd not work out, because the relationship was so rocky, so she'd have something to show for it. I gave her a little. Then at one point she demanded 1000 dollars or she'd leave. I'd give it to her. Then the other day she said she needed money so I sent her 500 dollars. Her reply was 'I told you to send my full allowance' 'You better send me the full allowance'. No thanks. I called, she refused my call. Just telling me to send double over text. So I asked her if she was insane, I would cancel the transfer right now if it was too little for her and it was the last time she'd refused a call from me. She then called me 20 times, apologised and we made up, a few days of pleasantness and now this biscuit argument. It's really getting ridiculous. I'd actually driven to Western Union to cancel the transfer and wanted to cancel it. I was ready to end it and she knew it.

She couldn't extract more, btw, she almost bankrupted me. I spent some 90,000 Dollars on this girl in three years.
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#88

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-21-2018 10:51 PM)jcardial Wrote:  

'Never mind, if you don't want to tell me it's ok, have a nice night, goodbye'

Presumably you realize your comment is contradictory and passive aggressive. You're saying everything is fine but punishing her by ending the conversation in an immature way, ironically because she's being immature. Mature men usually don't deal with something they don't like by bitterly and passively slinking away. You're again escalating the drama by having an emotional reaction to her being a brat. You know this girl is going to spaz but you do it nonetheless.

PT advised me not to be emotional and reactive, I wanted to follow that advice. Hence I just wanted to politely end the conversation and walk away. Because it was clear that she was not in a pleasant mindframe, she was responding civil enough on the surface, but I could detect the undertone of annoyance and aggression. If she wasn't willing to tell me what kind of biscuit she was eating obviously she was not going to make any effort in this conversation. It was not about the biscuit, I couldn't care less what biscuits she eats. It was a compliance test. I wanted her to make the effort to describe them, to see if she would, because I know she is lazy. I wanted her to invest. She wouldn't. So I wasn't going to invest either. What would you have said?

I don't call her to get short, lazy answers. I call her to give her a chance to brighten my day. She wasn't going to.

Quote: (11-21-2018 10:51 PM)jcardial Wrote:  

I will find a guy who will take me somewhere else nice and new'. Cause unfortunately you can't'.

I suspect the first times she did this you didn't call her out and establish it as unacceptable deal breaker behavior. This is what I meant by the lackey dynamic she establishes. She sees you as her servant assistant that she can just walk all over when you make a mistake. "This is the wrong flavor latte, you're a worthless loser that can't do anything right!" You brush off the abuse and say she doesn't mean it because she's just mad, but her words reveal her belief that you are not even worthy of her verbal respect.

Correct, I let this kind of behaviour go unchallenged for too long. However, like I mentioned, I did call her out when she started using swear words towards me, at first it worked. But she kept pushing it and at some point I let it slide again. She would just keep at it, and it's too tiresome to be vigilant about it all the time. I'm not sure if I called her out on the ending of the relationship earlier it would have made a difference. This is the same now, she says we're done effectively and in a few days she'll be lighting my messenger again trying to re-establish contact. I now keep away from her when she does this, I do not try and re-initiate contact the way I used to in the past. But it's an uphill struggle now because she's been trained the wrong way for two years almost.

Quote: (11-21-2018 10:51 PM)jcardial Wrote:  

It's a huge mistake to tell a woman about the specifics of your career or financial situation (the latter even vaguely). Sure enough it backfired. You gave this girl way too much power and she has no problem abusing it. By trying to qualify yourself to her that you can in fact make 12k a month is just further bolstering the frame that she is your boss and you are her lackey.

I know but it could not be helped in this instance. We were going to meet up here in Cayman for five months again, but since I was restructured I had to effectively make exit plans. I was given a consultancy agreement with excellent terms, to get 50 per cent of my billings, in good months that would be 14,000 USD, but in bad months maybe a third of that. So with the living costs here in Cayman I had to exit and could not fly her in anymore, it was cheaper for me to fly to her than to pay for both of us to fly back to Asia. I had to tell her. She'd shown that she was willing to fly to be with me again, so I was willing to go to her.

But her hamster is going nuts now thinking 'what if he does not make enough money, I'll be stuck here, but I want to live in Singapore or Tokyo'.

And yes, there was this lackey element. The last few days I actually had to tell her not to order me around. She actually demanded a Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag for Christmas. I do mean demanded. I told her many times not to order me around recently. I am trying to break this service expectation. But how to do that?

I can only show with my words and actions that I'm not there to be her butler. But she keeps demanding it anyway.
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#89

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-22-2018 09:16 AM)456 Wrote:  

Respectfully, be a man and end this for good.

I am really at the end of tolerance.

The way she treats me, it is not acceptable. I will not write to her anymore.

It's just I ended it several times before, she'd always try to re-ignite things. Apologise, lull me in with lovely words.

It's hard to walk away from her.

But I think we are now both fed up with the constant arguments, which are always started by her, in my view. I know I react sometimes over the top, but it is her who starts these arguments.
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#90

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

So much doesn't matter -- that heady mix of "positives" outweighing "negatives".

When this is a year or two in the rear-view mirror, you'll realize "holy shit, glad I escaped that."

The mentality of "but how will I find a girl who, despite ABC, has the XYZ she did" is a huge trap. I've fallen for it as well.

If you end it, no amount of re-ignition on her part should or would matter.
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#91

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Yes, it's true, it shouldn't matter. But the feelings I've had for this girl have been like nothing else in my life. If you see the face of this girl, look into her eyes, listen to her voice... You know how some women have a harsh Marge Simpson voice? This girl has the voice of pre-pubescent Angel. A face of a film star, long, slender legs, pointy breasts, her personality is unpredictable and fun, when she makes an effort to be entertaining you're laughing constantly, she's laughing constantly.

I really loved this girl. My mistake was to show it to her from the start.

You don't know what she is like. The things she writes. Things like this:

"My love,

I miss you already so very much. I know it sounds crazy but I really do! Man, it feels so weird not seeing you around like I used to for 16 days. It now feels like I've not seen you in forever. I am so lucky I found you. Actually, not just lucky but blessed, too. I can't wait to see you again very soon. I'm already looking forward to spend the rest of my life with you making unforgettable memories that will always remind us that life is indeed beautiful especially with BOTH of US in it.

Thanks for coming into my life and for bringing out the best in me. We're perfect for each other, love, don't you agree with me? I am still in awe of your greatness. You're almost near perfection, I couldn't believe you were single 4 months ago, not anymore now though. Alright, you're a little bit hardwork because you always want perfection, but it's good 'cause then I realized you are actually the best so of course you only want top quality like me. Ehem. LOL

I will forever be grateful for your love and care and for everything you do for me and for us. I know you're trying to change your life - trying to find a way to be closer to me for us to be together. I really appreciate it so much. I am confident we will be together in the end eventually. I trust you and I will always be here for you.

I miss you very much and I love you. I love the poem you wrote to me on Viber. God, you are so romantic and A DREAM COME TRUE. You always surprise me with your awesomeness. I'll be thinking of you and all the wonderful times/moments we spent together."

Walk away, yes. Easily said.
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#92

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Jefferson what is your notch count?

My first bang was also my first LTR, the first woman I ''fell in love with''. We were both virgins. I felt powerful things about her. She told me to break up a year later and I was devastated.

In hindsight she was below average in every department, I just didn't have anything better to compare to.

Today after my experiences in the last 10 years (chicks I banged, quality of them, love, respect, and admiration I received from them) I would probably literally not bang her if I met her today.

Of course she texted me last month (after 8 years or so of no contact). I was mildly excited and kept thinking about meeting with her and throat-fucking her until she cries but then fell asleep and forgot to text back by the fifth text.

Your brain is releasing some tricky chemicals in your head which are clouding your better judgement. This is not real. Its just an evolutionary mechanism designed to keep you with her for a few years, until your offsprings are old enough to survive on their own.

If she is indeed so special, and its not your mind playing tricks, then go out bang 10 other girls and tell me how special she is again.


After banging a number of girls your bonding ability will become a little fucked up (not as much as if you were a woman, but still).

If you ever reach that point and wonder if it was a price worth paying, read my first LTR review above and your posts in this thread [Image: icon_razz.gif]
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#93

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

I think you may believe that this girl is not all I make her out to me, if so you'd be wrong. I've been with quality women all my life, statuesque dutch with flowing golden hair, great body, good personality, Russian fairy like girl with green eyes and black hair, slim, faithful, I've banged Polish, Scottish, Cuban, Brazilian, English, Belgian, Indonesian, Filipina, I've been around. I'm not talking from a position of thirst or inexperience. This girl is exceptional.

I actually don't feel that in love with her anymore though.

Yes, when I see her face it still does things to me, but it's not like it was three years ago.

The constant arguments, started by her all the time, have taken a toll.

I know rationally I should let her go, she has mental health issues, is a serial cheater who cheated on her last four men, a liar, lazy, a thrill seeker who gets bored quickly, enjoys being cruel, a narcissist, and yet...she is much more than that. See my previous post on how she is when she is good.

But if I have to let her go, if she will not be sweet and compliant, I will let her go. Even with her beautiful face, slender legs and fun personality, if she can't love me the way I love her, then I will let her go.

And her behaviour lately has been diabolical. I rationalised on the basis it was because we were long distance for a few months, I've been difficult, with a wife and children I didn't tell her about, and I took a long time to rebuild my career to earn enough to bridge the distance between her and me.

But I am starting to understand her behaviour is her fault, and it was like this at the very start really.
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#94

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quote: (11-22-2018 09:18 AM)Jefferson Wrote:  

She couldn't extract more, btw, she almost bankrupted me. I spent some 90,000 Dollars on this girl in three years.

Jefferson, I gotta see this girl.

Please, please, please, pleeeeeeease! So there's this girl I saw a few days ago at a mall here, she monetizes her beauty, she stands next to a promo of some kind at an upscale mall. She is drop dead gorgeous. You could put little wings on her and she wouldn't look out of place in the clouds. I'm imagining that's the level you're playing at, which would be like, damn, but I'm just really curious.

I promise I'll delete the pic as soon as I get it, and I won't make any comments on the thread, just via PM, if you'd like.

I just gotta see what 90k gets you, I'm curious as hell!
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#95

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

I PMed you, happy to send you a pic.

I just texted with her. She made clear that she'd insist on a 1000 dollar allowance if I come to her place. I explained I'd have to watch my expenses in the first two months as I get billings going, but would give her whatever I can. She replied "Whatever you can? You can keep your whatever you can. I'm better off somewhere else. Can't be dependent on you really because I can't trust you to take care of me".

She emphasized the allowance was to take care of her family and herself.

So this makes crystal clear that a semi-pro will always be a semi-pro. No consideration for my situation, when it came down to it. Didn't want to be with me when she could have, but the money was more important.

I'm kind of stunned that she'd make it so obvious. She could have just had me come, then extract the most out of me she could have. But no. She's basically telling me, if I don't get an allowance, I'm not going to be with you.

Her true colours are out. Lesson learned. Once a semi-pro, always a semi-pro. Wow, she could act the feelings though. She really had me going.
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#96

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

Quite possibly the biggest simp posting on this forum right now. 90k? Long distance? Letting it interfere with your family duties? Definitely cheating on you? For what, a piece of ass. Ask the next man you see to slap you for me would you?

The fuck man. What a goddamn mess.
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#97

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

She wasn't just a piece of ass to me.

Though she had a silky, lovely ass.

I know, I know.
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#98

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

What was she to you?

Because to me it sounds like you were her ATM and whipping boy.
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#99

How much control should you exert in an LTR?

At times I was.

But she also wrote poems for me. She wrote letters telling me she always wanted to be with me. How much she loved me.

She'd do anything I ask in bed, cook, clean, do laundry, she'd make me laugh.

She was my last shot at true love.

I thought she was the one.
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How much control should you exert in an LTR?

I think you need to let go of the romantic notion of true love. It's probably time to swallow that red pill whole and realize that all those feelings you felt were a biological trick nature was playing on you so you would invest in her and if she happened to have offspring you would feel obligated to take care of them. She was also working that natural phenomena to milk you of resources, consciously or unconsciously thats her nature. She may have felt strongly about you once but her behavior indicated that all that was left was the need to extract resources.

She may be a rotten person, or she may be an angel. One thing is sure though is that everything that happened between you and her is your fault. Either through ignorance, lack of skill, succumbing to your emotioms and not being a proper man, or failing to terminate a losing relationship.

The real masculine idea of love is one of pragmatism. The greeks argued a man could not truely love a woman. You'll see around you powerful men form real strong practical bonds with men and realize their love for their women is a practical arrangement not a romantic one.

You may be right. That may have been your last shot at true love but only because you should abandon the concept.
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