Great advice in this thread. Here's another angle to consider: Perhaps your 'niceness' is because you aren't busy enough. (
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Quote: (12-16-2014 11:05 AM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:
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Man on a Mission
*Alright, feminists, playtime is over for now. This blog will now return to its regularly scheduled programming.*
The most attractive thing to women is a man on a mission.
How does a man act when he's on a mission?
A man on a mission cares not for any girl's reaction to him. He cares for his mission. Sure, he may want sexual release, but he feels no approach anxiety. To a man focused on a higher mission, approaching girls is like playing with little kids in a sandbox: cute, but ultimately meaningless.
A man on a mission naturally treats women with the aloof alpha attitude and dominant frame that PUAs try to imitate. Picture a guy spending all day striving, sweating and bleeding for a mission, going home with his struggle still on his mind. A girl flakes or gives him some drama, does he even care?
A man on a mission pursues sex and escalates boldly because he doesn't have time to waste. He does not have months to spend, he does not have time to buy seven dinners before a chance at sex. He has shit to do. It's fuck or walk, your choice.
A man on a mission worships no girl. He puts his mission on a pedestal, not his girl.
A man on a mission is impossible to friendzone. He simply doesn't have time to listen to a girl's emotional outpourings.
A man on a mission treats girls with abundance. There are many girls, but only one mission.
A man on a mission has ambition, passion and drive. Anybody who spends time with him can sense this.
A man on a mission is never at a loss for words. He has stories. I was (working on my mission) when...., My friend (who I know from my mission) and I......,
A man on a mission has boundaries. He will not let a girl take up too much of his time or do anything that will jeopardize his mission.
A man on a mission chooses a wife or long term girlfriend carefully. She must complement him and make his home life easier, as he is out living his mission.
A man on a mission does not check his phone every minute to see if that girl from the weekend texted him back. He works on his mission, noticing only when he takes a break that she texted him hours ago.
A man on a mission cannot be rejected by a girl because he derives his self-esteem from how well he is pursuing his mission, not from the actions of anybody else.
A man on a mission finds status, wealth, and fame awaiting for him when he succeeds. This was not his primary motivator but it attracts women nonetheless.
To a guy who can't get laid, shitty game is a symptom, not the disease. The root cause of all neediness, pedestalization, social anxiety, unworthiness, and lack of confidence is not having a mission.
Next time you have a girl problem, ask yourself:
Don't I have something better to do?
The idea is that you don't have to be 'evil,' you just need more important priorities in your life. Then, the effort you put into women and way you're willing to be treated by them will naturally balance with what you find acceptable. Women, being quite 'fluid,' are apt to notice this and work hard to qualify themselves so they can become more important in your life. The natural order of things is that women want to follow a strong leader instead of being the center of your universe (any protestations are shit tests, they don't really want it).
Another good concept to look up is 'covert contracts.' This is when people do something nice and expect the recipient to return the favour because they should know to. However, the recipient usually has no idea at all that something in return was expected. Even if people generally know they should reciprocate, it's much better for your mental health to be upfront with what you're looking for + set boundaries to how much effort you're willing to make. Lastly, never go into an interaction feeling entitled to getting something back in return. This is kind of like the idea of giving with a cheerful spirit as opposed to donating to charity and secretly hoping that God will see your act and reward you as a payment for your 'charity.'
Part of the reason people rag on 'nice guys' is that they often do favours, seemingly out of generosity, but they are secretly expecting sex/intimacy in return. Girls, though many won't admit it, know that most guys who are doing favours for them want sex. This makes them view 'nice guys' as sneaky and dishonest.
Take aways:
1. Have a mission in your life so all your priorities fall into place. As a bonus, women will notice this in your attitude and put in some effort of their own to qualify themselves to you. (Note: don't do this as a 'tactic,' actually have a mission.)
2. It's better to be upfront about your desires instead of being sneaky & hopeful about your desires.
3. Go into your interactions with boundaries on how much effort you'll spend and honestly don't care about the fruits of any effort less than your boundary. I.e. when you give a gift, don't expect something back. If you'll care, it means your gift is too expensive/takes too much effort. Thinking about your boundaries will help you know yourself better, too.
I'd imagine those 3 points would also help a lot in business/general life and not just girls. Best of luck!