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Random thoughts rom recent experiences:

Random thoughts rom recent experiences:

Ok recently I have been through some experiences that made me realize I have changed a lot since reading this forum and watching some videos on youtube, mainly red pill and MGTOW related things with that said I can tell about myself Im a panamenian man living in Panama 39 years old, divorced who is out of shape(but losing weight), divorced who had to move back to the family condo(where only my mother lives), after my divorce I loose basically everything, I was broken, but a couple of years ago I found a cool job that pays well so Im basically rebuilding my life little by little.

My mother when young was a very attractive woman(a Katherine Zeta Jones look alike), when she and my dad divorced she dated a few men but since she didn’t got her family approval she didn’t married again, so she hit the wall and ended alone; she became a sad person not many friends or acquaintances( besides she is kind of a difficult person after you know her well, but I will not say bad or mean),she has been kind of pushing me to date other women since she wants grandchildren and worries about myself when she gets older and passes away; the other day we had a small argument(when I’m off she always do something to wake me up “accidentally”(maybe she wakes me so she don’t feel so lonely) ,what pisses me off if I was late the night before) and I realized something…shaming she does it as well(After I have done for you… blah blah blah I recognize some of my ex wife patterns there), even moms do it, but I realize it that I don’t care anymore, funny thing is in my life I don’t remember a male friend or relative doing the same ever, its like at the end of the day no matter what they their needs are over anyone else’s.
It’s the same story always I used to think: ok we are a couple so Ill give her some time, so I sit with her: she began texting, or reading or watching tv or doing something else; as soon as I turn on the playstation, begin watching a movie or reading a book she start talking non stop, , and if you do wrong they get upsert, if they do wrong they get upset also...did it ever happen to you?

Wall hitting

The other day I was outside of my office taking a cigarette break and a woman walks by and she took a deep look at me, she wasn’t bad looking probably 6.5-7 and when I look her back a bell rang in my head, suddenly I said without thinking: Do I know you from somewhere? She said the same thing at almost the same time , she stop and we both said 2 or 3 places until we realize we both were in the same university. While we were talking I realized that she was a cute girl I knew and we never spoke much , but she looked old, tired and past her prime, she hit the wall, that’s why she is so friendly.. and suddenly I thought: maybe I look the same…

Milenials/young people sexuality

In my job most people are young, there is this girl a (dyed)red head milenial who is not my friend just a co worker who is into feminism and stuff, I always tease her with jokes: as an example she ask for the salt and I answer something like : “the patriarch kindly will lend you a little bit of salt to empower you” and everybody at the kitchen laughs.
The other day we were both alone in the cafeteria talking about the Freddy Mercury/queen movie and I said something like: “I’m an heterosexual, male but I respect gays, but their lives can be really difficult” her serious answer was : “maybe you haven’t found a man that attracts you, everybody can be gay” These people have been so busy trying to make people understand they are different that they forgot that other people can be different to them…madness!!!

Foreignn North American Women

I meet a foreign Canadian American girl on my job, she is a nice girl who has lived abroad, weed smoker, drinker (even more than I do, and I drink a lot!), I didn’t actively tried to hit on her, but since Im funny(coworkers say I should do a standup comedy, and that I have snappy cynic answers to everything like Tony Stark) she invited me to her place to eat, she cooked for me and we had fun, we had sex and was fine but I realized something, all those tattoos were distracting, additionally first time ever I had sex with someone who doesn’t speak Spanish, was cool like watching a porn movie, but she talked a lot during sex, non stop, it was crazy.


I have been planning to move by the end of next year, recently I started a mortgage process(to buy a house small but cute on a suburb or the equivalent locally) but it is in another city 3 hours from where I live, this give me some time to rent it , get in shape, add furniture, then move there when everything is set.
I made a trip a few days ago and the city looks like mine 20 years ago, people look happy, arent stuck to smart phones, salaries aren’t that good, but enough to live since life is cheaper there, people are friendly and approachable, not much of a crime rate and the girls I saw looked fine, most of them, I am thinking about moving there getting a Nicaraguan or Honduran maid (to pay less since those countries are financially screwed)and maybe start a business of some sort I have 2 options in mind, maybe better chances of doing better there, like becoming a bigger fish on a smaller…opinions any similar experience or tips on moving to a different place in same conditions?

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