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Balancing the Deep with the Lighthearted

Balancing the Deep with the Lighthearted

How do you guys manage the deep vs lighthearted conversations?

For example, I feel a lot of existential stress right now. New job, finances, loss of loved ones, legal problems, away from friend group, etc.

A lot of my focus is on self improvement and studying.

But this serious state of mind that is allowing me to be disciplined in the gym, in studying, improving on the job and becoming a master of myself is not really the lighthearted fun attitude I should be having when it comes to girls.

Should I try and just fake my attitude while still remaining as congruent as possible or just take time out of the game until I get back there naturally?

What do you all do during periods like this?

Thanks guys

Balancing the Deep with the Lighthearted

Theoretically - you know all the lighthearted topics of conversation. Write them all down on a piece of paper, remind yourself of them, and when a girl steers the conversation off to something like work or social issues, just steer her back to your lighthearted topics.

Practically - I was in this spot the last 4 or 5 years (changing my life and learning business and working/stressing 24/7), and I've only just recently in the last half year or so been able to get out of it. The reality is you are just going to have days where you feel off and you are stressing about things in your personal life and you are going to give that vibe to the girl no matter how much you try, and there's not much you can do about it.

What I found is that gradually over time, things start getting better in your personal life as you put in consistent effort (make sure you have goals and you are tracking them e.g. increasing your finances, progressing in your work, obtaining better beliefs around life), and your stress levels come down - and you are able to relax more and put more time back into dating.

But, it might just be a life stage you are going through that is unavoidable.

I wouldn't quit game altogether, but prioritise it as second until your personal life is sorted, and accept that you can't kill it in every single area of life at all times until you get a bit older and you've built systems for things to be running a bit more on autopilot.

Balancing the Deep with the Lighthearted

Quote: (11-06-2018 10:37 PM)TheRealOne Wrote:  

Should I try and just fake my attitude while still remaining as congruent as possible or just take time out of the game until I get back there naturally?

For me both attitudes co-exist without issues. Talking with women (especially women I've already banged) relaxes me. Constant teasing etc is fun, a little addictive even. I feel like I'm in the moment. It complements my 'logical' mindset throughout most of my day where I'm in my head, thinking about past events and planning for future events.

The above mindset comes naturally after internalising key truths of life. Its a set of rock-solid personal beliefs, very deep understanding of related subjects:

1. Women's brains are not designed for comprehension and analysis of complex and deep issues like your brain is, no matter how hard you want to believe otherwise. This is not debatable, its a scientific fact.

2. Women simply do not respond well to weakness. Women are disgusted by weakness. Showing weakness to women and expecting help in return is silly.

Think of a 30 yo man talking about self-development, and mastering himself to a 5 yo who cannot yet read. Its the same thing.

3. In addition to the above, the main thing with self development (after internalising the ugly truths) is taking action. There is nothing more you can do. Overthinking things achieves nothing.

For example, the gym: Did you lift today? Did you track your calories? that's it. No reason to not be relaxed and enjoy your time with a girl afterwards.

Being in your head 24/7 is anxiety, not a conscious + productive mindset. Take as many actions as you can during the day to steer your life in the direction you wish, then totally relax and enjoy your night with a pretty girl. It will clear your focus and give you perspective for the next day.

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