Quote: (10-09-2018 10:10 PM)RoadTo100 Wrote:
First off --- congratulations ATW, on successfully changing your life for the better.
Regarding the idea of 'saving' destinations, I would disagree with that.
After 2.5 years traveling (spending a few months in a place at a time, and often ~9 months away before returning), I've realized that it isn't possible to "get a city on lock" with that type of lifestyle. Similarly, no matter how close to a pussy paradise a place is, guys who take time to invest in their social circles in a city will do miles better than those just passing through for a few months.
Recent forum examples of short-term travelers struggling:
Is banging 5s the usual outcome of short term traveling?
What it really takes to bang a 7 when traveling?
Examples of guys with their "city on lock":
Irish in Jakarta (& Singapore)
Lucky Luke in Barcelona
Tully Mars in Bogota
Suits in Beijing
Akwesi in Accra
(formerly) WanderingSoul AKA RioNomad in Bangkok
(ignoble member) Christian McQueen in Las Vegas
(Who else did I forget?)
All these guys had strong game to begin with (and thus would do well traveling anyway), but because they ended up staying in 1 place for a long time they built an "asset" in the form of their social capital in that city, such that their results blow any non-celebrity passerby-s results out of the water. Not mention becoming fluent in the language (if it differs from their native one).
Personally, I know a guy in Bangkok (fluent in Thai) and another guy in Medellin (fluent in Spanish), both of who have lived in their respective cities for 3+ years and now have an awesome life setup for themselves that is outside of the reach of a short-term traveler.
If you want SEA to be "your spot" (whether Saigon, Bangkok, KL, Jakarta) then I highly recommend living there year round as soon as possible and taking only max 1-to-3 month trips away at a time. Invest in building relationships, knowledge & language skills in the city of your choice and reap the dividends in a few years time.
With that said --- the exploratory phase definitely shouldn't be skipped either (for those who are truly location independent), and it definitely takes a couple of years for a man to determine what his ideal pussy paradise destination actually is. It's tough to find a place that really fits with you, and reading datasheets only gets you so far before you need your own boots-on-the-ground experience to really know if you'll click with a place.
As I mentioned, I personally am ~2.5 years in, ~20 countries in, and am planning to settle down in a particular city in 2019 (year lease, limiting myself to shorter trips away, round trip tickets instead of one way, etc).
To me, I'd rather spend the next 2.5 years building assets in my social life, instead of playing on repeat the last 2.5 years, just with slightly different scenery and slightly different people in another 20 countries.
Thoughts?
What you are saying here makes a lot of sense. I have been primarily in South East Asia for the past 4+ years and only since recently am I starting to get anywhere close to having any particular place "on lock". Time spent is the most crucial factor.
There are several cities and destinations I have spent between 3 months and 2+ years in. I can see a direct correlation between time spent in a particular city and my level of success in it, both with girls and in terms of lifestyle in general. I do way, way better in places where I have a grasp of the language, the culture, have a solid social circle, and am in the loop with the nightlife. These are all things that are simply impossible to replicate on a short term visit.
This also does not exclude the exploratory phase, in fact I think exploring doesn't have to be a "phase" but rather part of an overall lifestyle, and that's what ATW is currently doing. The key is to choose one or a few cities to base yourself out of, and take short trips from there if you want to explore. If you take a liking to a particular new place, live there for a while.
As for myself, I now have several cities in South East Asia where I can hit the ground running if I decide to return, because I have already spent time living there in the past. I think ATW is on a similar trajectory and at some point you'll find out which cities jive the best with you. Then you can pick one, double down on it and lock it down.