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If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?
#1

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

I've just started university and for fresher night I've been clubbing every night for the past 8 days, as the title reads yes I'm a virgin (20, UK) and I've always been hopeless with girls. The past week I've been able to get make-out sessions with some girls and it's really helped bolster my confidence now I'm feeling sooner or late I'm going to have to learn to close to seal the deal.

It's a pretty small town so hitting the same clubs more or less means I see some of the same girls and build a rapport with them. I'm pretty much going by myself as most of the people in university flats are not interested in gaming or approaching girls. I'm just trying to train myself to approach as many girls as possible and get used to rejections.

I'm thinking I should just keep going out every-night and eventually it should happen and once that happens I can finally say I'm no longer a virgin. I'm enjoying it because my preference is for Asian girls and there are lots of Asian students here.
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#2

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

I would say a two pronged approch should be used by you. I would try day game and night to figure out which one works for you.

I have been killing it picking up through social circle, public transport and cold approaches.

On the other hand I have had very little luck with nightgame.
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#3

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

You should only go clubbing if you've accumulated >5 notches. I'm surprised they even let you in being such a low level. Are you wearing some kind of gem or amulet that gives you +5 notches?
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#4

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Quote: (10-06-2018 11:28 AM)Funkbus40 Wrote:  

I would say a two pronged approch should be used by you. I would try day game and night to figure out which one works for you.

I have been killing it picking up through social circle, public transport and cold approaches.

On the other hand I have had very little luck with nightgame.

Never had any luck through day game because I tend to have anxiety, but when it's night game recently I've just been talking to as many girls possible and not giving a fuck. My confidence was boosted when I got with some really hot Thai-Chinese (8.5) chick as I saw her on the line into the club and told my friend I would get with her and he told me I had no chance, 30 minutes later he walks past us making out [Image: tard.gif]
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#5

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Take what I am saying to you seriously, but not personally.

Quote: (10-06-2018 11:08 AM)The British Bulldog Wrote:  

I've just started university and for fresher night I've been clubbing every night for the past 8 days, as the title reads yes I'm a virgin (20, UK) and I've always been hopeless with girls.

Okay, your results have not been what you want, but you're fucking 20 years old. You're not 38 and a virgin, so put your inexperience into perspective.

You've entered adulthood at a tumultuous time for men in general and young men especially. There's a difference between having high expectations and throwing around pointless, counterintuitive self-labels like "hopeless with girls". You were probably shy and reasonably awkward, at worst.

If you've clubbed for the last eight days, mostly to get a lay, that's a level of thirst you could probably do without. Acceptable, measured persistence and overdoing it are not the same thing. If you could have honestly said you're out clubbing because of fresher activities, so be it, but based on the fact you're going out alone most of the time, you should try day game (and balance that with your other activities).

I don't know you. However, using what you've said so far you could be going into unhealthy territory with these repetitive nights out, venturing to clubs alone.

Quote:Quote:

The past week I've been able to get make-out sessions with some girls and it's really helped bolster my confidence now I'm feeling sooner or late I'm going to have to learn to close to seal the deal.

Okay, that's a start, but don't get ahead of yourself. Those of us old enough to have been in clubs 1,000+ times know that locking lips/slashing tongues in a club with a girl is 10 times easier than when she's not in a club and/or sober.

Quote:Quote:

It's a pretty small town so hitting the same clubs more or less means I see some of the same girls and build a rapport with them. I'm pretty much going by myself as most of the people in university flats are not interested in gaming or approaching girls. I'm just trying to train myself to approach as many girls as possible and get used to rejections.

Rapport and comfort would work better with many Asian students, true. When I was back in Australia, Chinese, Japanese and Korean girls were very rewarding to make out with and get into bed, but either took longer or required more comfort game.

Again, though, see these nights out as part of your broader life.

Quote:Quote:

I'm thinking I should just keep going out every-night and eventually it should happen and once that happens I can finally say I'm no longer a virgin. I'm enjoying it because my preference is for Asian girls and there are lots of Asian students here.

As I alluded to previously, going all-in can easily become unhealthy. If this is costing you other parts of your life (not a simple thing to observe most of the time) or you're feeling a constant urge, decreasing your nights out is the way to go.

Notwithstanding any first lay you may get, it's likely you're playing with fire.

If you're enjoying it, fine. Yet I can't help but keep wondering what you're missing out on (decent sleep, gym, self-improvement, getting into your studies, being with your friends).

Even if you get this so far elusive first lay, don't become a slave to this goal. Losing your virginity, believe it or not, could set you back in the long-term if you approach and achieve it in the wrong way.

Born Down Under, but I enjoy Slovakian Thunder: http://slovakia.travel/en/nove-zamky
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#6

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Quote: (10-06-2018 11:42 AM)david.garrett84 Wrote:  

Take what I am saying to you seriously, but not personally.

Quote: (10-06-2018 11:08 AM)The British Bulldog Wrote:  

I've just started university and for fresher night I've been clubbing every night for the past 8 days, as the title reads yes I'm a virgin (20, UK) and I've always been hopeless with girls.

Okay, your results have not been what you want, but you're fucking 20 years old. You're not 38 and a virgin, so put your inexperience into perspective.

You've entered adulthood at a tumultuous time for men in general and young men especially. There's a difference between having high expectations and throwing around pointless, counterintuitive self-labels like "hopeless with girls". You were probably shy and reasonably awkward, at worst.

If you've clubbed for the last eight days, mostly to get a lay, that's a level of thirst you could probably do without. Acceptable, measured persistence and overdoing it are not the same thing. If you could have honestly said you're out clubbing because of fresher activities, so be it, but based on the fact you're going out alone most of the time, you should try day game (and balance that with your other activities).

I don't know you. However, based on what you've said so far you could be going into unhealthy territory with these repetitive nights out, venturing to clubs alone.

Quote:Quote:

The past week I've been able to get make-out sessions with some girls and it's really helped bolster my confidence now I'm feeling sooner or late I'm going to have to learn to close to seal the deal.

Okay, that's a start, but don't get ahead of yourself. Those of us old enough to have been in clubs know that locking lips in a club with a girl is 10 times easier than when she's not in a club/sober.

Quote:Quote:

It's a pretty small town so hitting the same clubs more or less means I see some of the same girls and build a rapport with them. I'm pretty much going by myself as most of the people in university flats are not interested in gaming or approaching girls. I'm just trying to train myself to approach as many girls as possible and get used to rejections.

Rapport and comfort would work better with many Asian students, true. When I was back in Australia, Chinese, Japanese and Korean girls were rewarding to make out with and get into bed, but took longer.

Again, though, see these nights out as part of your broader life.

Quote:Quote:

I'm thinking I should just keep going out every-night and eventually it should happen and once that happens I can finally say I'm no longer a virgin. I'm enjoying it because my preference is for Asian girls and there are lots of Asian students here.

As I alluded to previously, going all-in can become unhealthy. If this is costing you other parts of your life or you're feeling a constant urge, decreasing your nights out is the way to go.

Notwithstanding any first lay you may get, it's likely you're playing with fire.

If you're enjoying it, fine. Yet I can't help but keep wondering what you're missing out on (decent sleep, gym, self-improvement, getting into your studies, being with your friends).

Even if you get this so far elusive first lay, don't become a slave to this goal. Losing your virginity, believe it or not, could set you back if you approach it in the wrong way.

Okay most of the people I'm sharing a flat with are kinda beta so I don't want to go with them. Got two girls I went clubbing with last night from my uni but I think I'm friendzoned although I take that as a positive because at least I have female friends for social proof.
The thing is I am hardly getting hangovers but the lack of sleep probably isn't healthy. For me I'm small and a lightweight so it doesn't require much alcohol to get me drunk. Next week when my studies commence I might try cut it down to 3 nights a week. I'm doing econ, but minoring in Chinese so I have opportunities to attend clubs where I can practise gaming Chinese girls there. For me I don't want to be a virgin at 21 I have weak internal game an most of it stems from being a virgin because it makes me think there must be something fundamentally wrong with me if I can't attract the opposite sex.
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#7

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Get a girl within your social circle, that’s how most guys lose their virginity. You can lose it clubbing but you need... well you know already. You’ll likely be too inexperienced to pull it off, so start with girls you get introduced to, it’s much easier.

Don’t worry too much about it, once you get it over with you’ll get rolling pretty fast and the lays will come one after the other.
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#8

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

I'd strongly suggest getting your v card taken in a more substantial relationship than a club toilet.

Find a girl, and hang out with her, get to know her and don't rush to bang.

This will ease the nervous anxiety and make it more enjoyable - remember this will be a lifelong memory.
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#9

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Quote: (10-06-2018 07:36 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I'd strongly suggest getting your v card taken in a more substantial relationship than a club toilet.

Find a girl, and hang out with her, get to know her and don't rush to bang.

This will ease the nervous anxiety and make it more enjoyable - remember this will be a lifelong memory.

I think it's been so long since you've been in his shoes, you're having trouble understanding his issues. If he was capable of having girls fuck him inside the club toilet, he wouldn't be a 20 year old virgin going out 7 days a week desperately trying to lose his V card..

Quote:Quote:

Find a girl

If he could do that without going to a club, I'm sure he would have done it already. He has a problem "finding" girls at all, that's why he's going out 7 days a week to the only place he's ever had any success, trying to make this happen.

Quote:Quote:

and hang out with her

If you've been reading his posts this is exactly what he's trying to do, but failing into the friendzone.

Quote:Quote:

get to know her

He's a 20 year old virgin, I'm sure he'd be thrilled to get to know any decent girl. I'm not trying to give you hard time, you're giving great answers....to someone with a completely different set of problems. He has literally never known anything but failure doing what you're describing, that's why he's going so radically into the only thing that's been working whatsoever.

If he were remotely capable of just "finding a girl" "getting to know her" and had any successful method of getting the bang within 6 months, he would be thrilled.

Let's try to figure out solutions for a 20 year old virgin that's willing to put in a lot of wok, but has had zero success, so we're not giving advice to a 21 year old virgin next year.
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#10

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Kid, we're probably going to have to get a better idea of what your "fatal flaws" and sticking points are before we're going to be able to help you. 20 year old virgin is a lot more common than you think, you're not the kind of outlier the 40 year old virgin is, but if we're giving you typical clubhound advice and you're 400lbs or something (i know you're not, just an example) we're going to be talking past each other and not be capable of giving you productive advice.

You say you're a 20 year old virgin, and you get drunk quickly because of light bodyweight, maybe the issue is a complete lack of masuline muscle mass, and you would be better served by lifting 3 times a week than by clubbing 7 days a week. Getting out there is important, but so is getting out there with the right tools to get the yesses and stay out of the friendzone.

I've been in your shoes, and going out and getting drunk 7 days a week may lead to getting kicked out of college before you get laid. The first month of the semester is key for meeting people, so you may have done the right thing, but this point in the semester is probably where you want to buckle down for midterms and start repairing the damage you did going out 7 nights a week, and read up on a sensible lifting program. If you don't like putting a lot of time into one, I could put something together for you that takes 20 minutes a day, 3 times a week that would still make a dramatic change in your body composition. Something that would have turned one of your friendzones into a fuckzone....if you had started it last year. But do you know what works better than grinding away doing the absolute minimum at something you hate? Getting fit as hell doing something you have a lot of fun doing. It might even involve meeting women in itself. Try to find some physical activity or physical college club you like that will also get you in shape, and be healthier long term than clubbing.

Heck, if you're clubbing all the time anyway, you could mitigate a lot of the damage the late nights and alcohol are doing by becoming a hell of a dancer. Women love good dancers, and it's physical and athletic. More later
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#11

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

A surprising number of colleges offer various kinds of social dance classes. They typically schedule at night, and involve 90% women. The women race to you to avoid being paired up with another woman. That's a great way to start any social environment IMHO. Don't be discouraged if it's something like basic ballroom stuff, it's still fun and helps a lot of ways. Look for any kind of social or physical environment that put you in contact with a lot of women (except for a gender studies class) or helps develop you physically in a way you might enjoy. Martial arts are great, and even if you hated one, you might love another. Life ain't fair, you've got to give yourself every opportunity to have and edge over the other guy.
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#12

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Quote: (10-06-2018 09:10 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

Kid, we're probably going to have to get a better idea of what your "fatal flaws" and sticking points are before we're going to be able to help you. 20 year old virgin is a lot more common than you think, you're not the kind of outlier the 40 year old virgin is, but if we're giving you typical clubhound advice and you're 400lbs or something (i know you're not, just an example) we're going to be talking past each other and not be capable of giving you productive advice.

You say you're a 20 year old virgin, and you get drunk quickly because of light bodyweight, maybe the issue is a complete lack of masuline muscle mass, and you would be better served by lifting 3 times a week than by clubbing 7 days a week. Getting out there is important, but so is getting out there with the right tools to get the yesses and stay out of the friendzone.

I've been in your shoes, and going out and getting drunk 7 days a week may lead to getting kicked out of college before you get laid. The first month of the semester is key for meeting people, so you may have done the right thing, but this point in the semester is probably where you want to buckle down for midterms and start repairing the damage you did going out 7 nights a week, and read up on a sensible lifting program. If you don't like putting a lot of time into one, I could put something together for you that takes 20 minutes a day, 3 times a week that would still make a dramatic change in your body composition. Something that would have turned one of your friendzones into a fuckzone....if you had started it last year. But do you know what works better than grinding away doing the absolute minimum at something you hate? Getting fit as hell doing something you have a lot of fun doing. It might even involve meeting women in itself. Try to find some physical activity or physical college club you like that will also get you in shape, and be healthier long term than clubbing.

Heck, if you're clubbing all the time anyway, you could mitigate a lot of the damage the late nights and alcohol are doing by becoming a hell of a dancer. Women love good dancers, and it's physical and athletic. More later

Thanks.

I'm taking a few nights off because I'm kind of getting bored of clubbing now. Tomorrow my university starts properly and I already know I want to start doing Muay Thai and hitting the gym three times a week. I'll consider dance classes.
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#13

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Physical appearance for me is I'm short 5'7 and have a very small frame, however, facially I can say with reasonable confidence I'm above average, good jawline, lips, eyes and hair. I am often called a "pretty boy" by other guys, girls have on some occasion even stopped me in the street to tell me they thought I was attractive, which doesn't happen to most of my guy friends, I also get more matches on Tinder then every other guy I know (not a lot though). I may as well hone my niche seen as it's unlikely I'll be the physically dominating alpha guy but I'm still going to gym regularly to train abs and keep lean. I died my hair blonde too to appeal to Asian girls as I figured if they wanted a white guy it would be a stereotypical one with blue eyes and blonde hair.

My biggest issue at uni is the cockblocker because I was getting with three girls from Hong Kong one night but they were in a gang and it would have been virtually impossible to close and I got their SM but they are not responding hence I don't want to appear desperate/creepy but also interested.
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#14

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

I was in your position not long ago, I'm also a student in the UK. During my first year I pulled a few girls after the club and went to their dorm but I was really nervous before I lost my v card and I would only get as far as fingering a girl. I then "dated" a Chinese girl and the same thing happened, we were both nervous and whilst I could get chicks I had some serious anxiety problems. I got tons of makeouts but never sex in my 1st year at uni but that was my flaw.

My advice is to game international chicks like you are doing with the HK girl, use social media game to your advantage, ask her if she wants to get coffee on campus or a drink at the bar. From there, invite her to your dorm to show her your "holiday photos" then act as if you have had sex many times before and bang her. You probably won't know what you're doing and you'll get a bit nervous but trust the process.

Mix it up, do some night game but most importantly make friends with girls on campus, in societies, through social media and then invite them on dates - then you will have just you and her, your wit, no cockblockers and you can form a better connection.
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#15

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

First of all just to put some context on the OP. Freshers week is the first week of term for UK university students. Usually the SU and bars will put up events every night, so its actually normal to go out every night just for that week.


I was in a similar position to you when I started uni.I didn't finish uni a virgin so maybe my advice will help. Here's what I would do if I was in your shoes
  • Join a sports team/society, specifically one that has a good social side to it
  • Try and make friends with people in your lectures etc. Everyone's in the same boat. It's easy to make conversation with them as you have something in common with them.
  • Try and find some people to hit the clubs with. It doesn't matter if they don't want to pull as long as they're a good laugh. You can always peel off to go and approach some girls while there. Going out clubbing alone is tough and should only be done if you've got no other options.
  • Hit the gym or do some form of exercise 3x a week. It'll give you some confidence. Also I found most of the guys at uni were skinny fat, so it'll give you an advantage.
  • Make sure you have a good diet, doesn't have to be fancy but if you eat like shit it'l fuck you up in the long term.
  • Wear decent clothes every day , nothing fancy just a nice fitted shirt and jeans.
Overall my point is to just be social, get several social circles on the go you can hang out with. If there's girls there and your one of the cool guys in the group eventually one will like you. Then you can go from there.

Also with the night game if you can approach you're already ahead of most guys. So keep going.
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#16

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

The more you make it a big deal, the further away it will be.

I used to be nervous and ''in my head'' - still am sometimes. But the more girls you bang the less of an issue it will be and you will realise that having sex with a girl really is a natural thing and in this time and age (of contraception) it really just isn't that big a deal. Millions have done it before you, millions will do it after.

If I were you I would pay a prostitute for my 1st time (maybe even 2-3 times with different girls) or anything else to that effect (ie anything to force your subconscious mind to accept that you're entitled to sex, and its normal).
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#17

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

If you're lean with minimal physical activity now, Muay Thai may be all you need to have a great aesthetic physique. I'm not talking aesthetic by bodybuilding standards, I'm talking aesthetic in terms of what women like. Martial arts also make a man walk with a lot more swagger and confidence. A fighter is immune to a lot of common AMOG mind games because you know you would just wreck the guy if he wants to push the issue.
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#18

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Quote: (10-07-2018 05:27 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  

First of all just to put some context on the OP. Freshers week is the first week of term for UK university students. Usually the SU and bars will put up events every night, so its actually normal to go out every night just for that week.


I was in a similar position to you when I started uni.I didn't finish uni a virgin so maybe my advice will help. Here's what I would do if I was in your shoes
  • Join a sports team/society, specifically one that has a good social side to it
  • Try and make friends with people in your lectures etc. Everyone's in the same boat. It's easy to make conversation with them as you have something in common with them.
  • Try and find some people to hit the clubs with. It doesn't matter if they don't want to pull as long as they're a good laugh. You can always peel off to go and approach some girls while there. Going out clubbing alone is tough and should only be done if you've got no other options.
  • Hit the gym or do some form of exercise 3x a week. It'll give you some confidence. Also I found most of the guys at uni were skinny fat, so it'll give you an advantage.
  • Make sure you have a good diet, doesn't have to be fancy but if you eat like shit it'l fuck you up in the long term.
  • Wear decent clothes every day , nothing fancy just a nice fitted shirt and jeans.
Overall my point is to just be social, get several social circles on the go you can hang out with. If there's girls there and your one of the cool guys in the group eventually one will like you. Then you can go from there.

Also with the night game if you can approach you're already ahead of most guys. So keep going.

Yeah I'm trying to change my strategy I've made friends with two girls who I'm not exactly sexually attracted to but I can at least go clubbing with them to signal social proof to other females. I like to wear high end fashion such as Versace, Gucci, Moschino & Alexander McQueen. But then I don't want to appear as a try hard.


Most of my problems are psychological rather than appearance, I was that kid in high school who didn't speak to anybody and I need to get over that shit.
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#19

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Going out drinking all the time while at uni is a bad waste of your time and your money. You might be a young, small due with a huge V sign on your forehead, but you've got two very precious assets which are time and energy. Racking up student loans to smash sluts in a provincial night clubs is something you will regret later on when you are trying to get to your career goals. You're better off spending the time you would spend recovering from hang overs doing some work in the gym or other exercise. British drinking culture is pretty destructive at times.
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#20

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Perhaps this will help you getting laid:


At around 9 o'clock in the evening go take a nice long nap. Make sure you are fully rested and have lots of energy. Do not drink any alcohol. Make sure your mind is sharp. Consider playing a few quick games of chess online. Take a shower, dress yourself nicely and put on some after shave.

At around 1 o'clock at night you go out. Not earlier. Do not drink more than 2 small beers. You want your mind to be rested and sharp while everyone else is tired and drunk. Get yourself into a social and positive state. Talk to some guys. Ignore girls if you feel too much anxiety.

Wait until it get late. Like 3 o'clock or perhaps even 4 o'clock. At this time only few people are still standing and pretty much everyone is stupid, drunk and tired. You are pretty much the only person rested, sharp and not drunk. This is the time to start approaching girls. Perhaps outside.

Do not go indirect and have conversations for 30 minutes. These girls are too tired and drunk for that. Besides those few girls still standing are only standing because deep down they want to get laid.

Go direct. Escalate immediatly. Just start pulling girls in towards you. Give hugs. Kisses and whatever you can get away with. Be sexual, direct and show dominance. Have your logistics in order and be prepared to take a girl home instantly.

Do not waste time. If a girl does not show enough interest/compliance within the first 5 minutes. Move on to the next one. Untill one of them bites. You take her home.

Basically you are playing "last man standing" game. By being rested, not drunk and sharp you have the advantage. You are pretty much the only guy around able to still get a hard dick and speak words that can be understood.

Only three ways to do something: "The right way. The wrong way. Or my way. Obviously my way is best."
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#21

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Already some great replies in this thread. I just have 1 thing to add:

Quote: (10-06-2018 11:42 AM)The British Bulldog Wrote:  

told my friend I would get with her and he told me I had no chance

It sounds like you'll be better off if you go out with someone else rather than this friend.

“Our great danger is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” ― Rollo Tomassi
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#22

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Quote: (10-07-2018 05:27 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote:  

First of all just to put some context on the OP. Freshers week is the first week of term for UK university students. Usually the SU and bars will put up events every night, so its actually normal to go out every night just for that week.


I was in a similar position to you when I started uni.I didn't finish uni a virgin so maybe my advice will help. Here's what I would do if I was in your shoes
  • Join a sports team/society, specifically one that has a good social side to it
  • Try and make friends with people in your lectures etc. Everyone's in the same boat. It's easy to make conversation with them as you have something in common with them.
  • Try and find some people to hit the clubs with. It doesn't matter if they don't want to pull as long as they're a good laugh. You can always peel off to go and approach some girls while there. Going out clubbing alone is tough and should only be done if you've got no other options.
  • Hit the gym or do some form of exercise 3x a week. It'll give you some confidence. Also I found most of the guys at uni were skinny fat, so it'll give you an advantage.
  • Make sure you have a good diet, doesn't have to be fancy but if you eat like shit it'l fuck you up in the long term.
  • Wear decent clothes every day , nothing fancy just a nice fitted shirt and jeans.
Overall my point is to just be social, get several social circles on the go you can hang out with. If there's girls there and your one of the cool guys in the group eventually one will like you. Then you can go from there.

Also with the night game if you can approach you're already ahead of most guys. So keep going.

For a british first year student at uni, this is the best advice. Also what The Thing said above is true. Having several social circles on the go is one of the benefits of uni. You can split your time between them all, the guys you train with, the guys you learn with, the guys you party with. Adds to your status naturally, it's a good time for you to grow and get over that anxiety from your school days.

Another thing, avoid the NUS leftie weirdos completely, they'll create insecurities and they are obviously just utter cunts. Don't pressure yourself on getting laid, pressure yourself into improving (ie social skills, removing that anxiety, actual learning (your degree) and physically). Man I wish I had these tips when I entered Uni.

Don't forget to check out my latest post on Return of Kings - 6 Things Indian Guys Need To Understand About Game

Desi Casanova
The 3 Bromigos
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#23

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

British bulldog, firstly kudos to putting yourself out there solo. The commitment is there and I am sure you will eventually succeed in your goal. But two things to keep in mind. First, its a small town. Everybody will know everybody else soon. Extensive nightgame for the sole purpose of lays would not be sustainable in the medium to long term although you might get your first notch soon but that might not be a trend after people get to know each other. Girls will worry about their reputation and you will gradually see them getting into relationships over the course of the semester. Which leads to the second issue. You got to get a solid social circle soon. That's the whole idea of freshers week. You get to know who you can roll with. With your friends you can hang out on weekends and get to approach other girls you might be interested in because now you got social proof. Also, don't focus just on girls for social circle, you will never get the same friendship as what you would with guys. Its got to be a mixture.
Also, look at house parties hosted by seniors to get to know more people and meet guys who have the same outlook you are looking for. Join clubs. Getting involved with uni is the first step to getting to know girls, esp in this day and age, the comfort established from social circle is crucial for new guys entering the dating world.
Final note, don't do things like dying your hair to appeal to girls. Do it because you want to, girls appreciate that more.
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#24

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

I might have written a datasheet on this somewhere but not sure.

Agree with bojangles and tyler.

I would only add:

- host pre-drinks at yours and have some weed so your place is the de-facto after party. Be careful with smoking after drinking, I lost many lays this way.

- hit up the SU with groups of girls or the girls who live in your res. You should be making friends with them instead of trying to fuck them.

- practice being friendly to all girls, everywhere. Laundromat, bus stops, wherever. It's daunting but it's all about momentum so once you start just keep going

- set up study groups with girls in your classes. Especially the smart ones. I know you wanna get laid but you can outsource note taking and if they're hot, it's another avenue to social proof and meeting women.

- make friends with the SU reps who organize events or simply work behind the bar. We used to have access to the SU offices despite not being members because we had the code. Silly social proof but girls liked this e.g. lets go put our coats upstairs in the offices -> lets explore them -> adventure. Obviously this is lucky and circumstantial but the theme is you looking like you're 'in'.

source: studied in the UK
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#25

If I'm a virgin do you recommend clubbing every night?

Clubbing every night can be a lot of fun in the short term, and, if you are persistent, it WILL get you results (as you've already demonstrated). However, it is also a time-sap and and energy sap too, and isn't sustainable in the medium-long term.

Therefore, the best solution is 'holistic game' - that is, taking an 'always on' approach to meeting girls, and using a combination of daygame, nightgame, social circle game and even dating apps to maximise your opportunities.

But before we delve into that a little deeper, let me tell you a story.

I was a virgin when I was 20 years old. I was at university in Manchester, UK at the time. And because I was also a very addictive type (I had problems for a long time with alcohol and drugs before I straightened out at 27), I too would go clubbing pretty much every night. In Manchester at that time (the 90s) that was pretty easy to do, and a lot of fun. I even started working in clubs to supplement my meagre student funds.

The downsides of this approach were manifold: the drink and the other crap I used wrecked my body (and later, for a while, my life - not recommended). I was tired all the time and flunked college. I also became somewhat disengaged from how 'normal' society operated outside the clubs.

However, on the positive side:

- Previously a bookish introvert, I blasted through my shyness
- I became 1000% more confident as I approached every girl in every club I went to
- I became SIGNIFICANTLY less bothered by rejection
- I learned a hell of a lot about the sexual marketplace
- I (often) had a blast and
- I got laid

Yes, the first girl I ever slept with (aged 20) was a very pretty young lady I met through night game.

Had I not hit the clubs so hard would it have happened? Not with her, no. But there's a more important lens through which to view it. Had I stuck to my previous, library-bound, nerd lifestyle it is possible that I might have ended up meeting a sympathetic and desperate 6 and getting married young (out of scarcity mentality).

Would that have been a good outcome?

Absolutely not.

While it is certainly not the healthiest or most wholesome lifestyle choice, going clubbing a lot when you are young actually does you many favours. It will make you sharper, harder, more alive to the cruelties and glories of the sexual marketplace, and more adept at handling them. It will also open out your personality, exposing you to sights and experiences that will give you an edge over the chode who sits at home reading all night and looking at 6s on match.com

The increasingly sexualised attitude that you will acquire as a result of going clubbing a lot will linger on you like an exotic aroma perceptible to girls, and this will improve your game in other situations too. Your daygame approaches (when you start to do them) will have more edge, as will your social circle game and your 'date game'.

In fact, I would go as far as to say that I owe at least a portion of the success that I have had in dating AND in business to the clubbing that I did as a young man, since it helped to realign my personality in a manner that was more finely tuned to the harsh realities of human interactions at the sharp end of sex and commerce.

All of that said, a few words of warning. For one thing, avoid excessive use of stimulants when you are out (including, of course, alcohol). There is no need to drink just because you are in a club. As mentioned, I gave up when I was 27 and have been to clubs thousands of times since then sober. I just drink water and it makes no difference.

Second, as I said at the top, an holistic approach will be more sustainable in the longer term. Also, it just makes sense. A business with only one stream of income is vulnerable, right? Well, so it is with dating. Have multiple streams of potential 'income'. Give daygame a go. And of course, develop your social circle. Hell, even try Tinder and Bumble.

A third thing to note in burning out your locale. If you are based in a very small town then the reality is you have to be cautious about 'getting a reputation'.

And in the end, if you want to stay in the game, you have to move. Harsh but true. There's a reason why all the best-known global players honed their craft in large metropolitan areas. More volume = more opportunities = more results. It really is as simple as that.

Return of Kings columnist - check out my posts every Wednesday.

troyfrancis.com
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