[RichieP]

^ Social status is a big thing in Asia and it's possible she was somehow using you to gain face/status in the eyes of someone else somehow, or create jealousy. It seems a bit too blatant for that though.

To be honest, she probably does like you. It could be that she was keen but clammed up for a number of other reasons.

I've been with girls in Asia who have been very into me but hot/cold and cagey and secretive. More often than not I've found out they're somehow attached, either married or there's some "provider" / long-term local interest on the scene.

Especially in countries like VN where hot girls are very much locked down and "bought-and-paid-for" by local guys with means.

My sense is she's keen for you but that "someone" is on their radar again. Perhaps some older provider-type dude who she thought was a lost cause but is now interested in her again and she's seeing $$$-signs. Could well be something like that.

Just play it patient, discreet, gently but firmly persistent. Re-initiate from time to time. She'll be hot, cold or indifferent... at a time she's hot, you can close.

If you do suspect she has a sponsor though, proceed with caution.

[JayJuanGee]

(10-28-2014 12:45 PM)RichieP Wrote:  

(10-21-2014 09:34 AM)Sweet Pea Wrote:  

Vietnamese men are anything but timid. I've seen more fights and shouting matches here in 2 months than I did in the past year in America. Last month I was looking for somewhere to eat, and these three dudes flipped over a table right in front of me and started wailing on a fourth guy for God knows what. I order food and they walk back in a few minutes later, and one of the guys says "Hello sorry" and smiles at me.

There's something raw and instantly explosive in the psyche...yet it's mixed with delightful charmingness.

My taxi driver in HCMC was yelling at a guy on a bike trying to turn around in the middle of the street. Taxi driver whips out a METAL PIPE and starts waving it madly at the guy from inside the taxi, yelling in Vietnamese. Bike scoots off and driver says "sorry hahaha. For him!" *gestures to pipe*

It's like, the opposite of Thailand, where everything gets done with a fake smile, cool head and a settlement. In Vietnam it's shouting and metal pipes and fists. Then instantly back to normal, lol.

I have only spent about 10 weeks in Vietnam over the last two years (mostly Hanoi), but I have never witnessed any of this.

The only time I have seen a near-physical confrontation there was just after closing time, at a Bia Hoi on the edge of the Old Quarter in Hanoi. I (55 year old American) was sitting in front of my tiny hotel having beers with a 30 year old Irish guy and an Aussie in his 60's when 3 early 20ish Australians (Bogans, I am told) showed up on motorbike taxis. These 3 were drunk as hell and complete assholes. They were wearing flip flops and short gym shorts only. The bia hoi was out of draft beer so they sold them a few bottles of beer.

The ring leader bogan had some sort of disagreement with his motorbike taxi guy and he broke his beer bottle on the curb and started brandishing it. Instantly I see Vietnamese from across the street (Bia Hoi with same ownership) calmly walking over. It took about 5 seconds for the Aussie to be surrounded by 5 Vietnamese guys.

But here is the funny thing: There was nothing threatening or intimidating about the Vietnamese. No harsh tone of voice, no aggressive body language. They were just THERE, and they were all calm. The Aussie calmed down quickly, which was a disappointment because he had earned an ass kicking in my opinion.

That incident only reinforced my impression of Vietnamese in general being calm, mellow and not carrying a lot of ego.

[CodyB]

(03-11-2015 08:05 AM)RichieP Wrote:  

I've been with girls in Asia who have been very into me but hot/cold and cagey and secretive. More often than not I've found out they're somehow attached, either married or there's some "provider" / long-term local interest on the scene.

My sense is she's keen for you but that "someone" is on their radar again. Perhaps some older provider-type dude who she thought was a lost cause but is now interested in her again and she's seeing $$$-signs. Could well be something like that.

Dude this is so common.

I really don't care if a girl that I"m seeing is seeing other dudes, but I always have trouble conveying this. Any tips?

[JayJuanGee]

(03-11-2015 09:45 AM)CodyB Wrote:  

(03-11-2015 08:05 AM)RichieP Wrote:  

I've been with girls in Asia who have been very into me but hot/cold and cagey and secretive. More often than not I've found out they're somehow attached, either married or there's some "provider" / long-term local interest on the scene.

My sense is she's keen for you but that "someone" is on their radar again. Perhaps some older provider-type dude who she thought was a lost cause but is now interested in her again and she's seeing $$$-signs. Could well be something like that.

Dude this is so common.

I really don't care if a girl that I"m seeing is seeing other dudes, but I always have trouble conveying this. Any tips?

I think that any guy should convey that he does NOT care if a girl sees other guys by letting the girl know that the guy has a practice and/or plan of seeing multiple girls at the same time and that he is NOT hitched up to any one girl or set of girls.

Girls are going to do what they are going to do, and the guy (of that disposition) merely needs to convey to the girl that he is o.k. if she does NOT get too attached to him because he is of the practice of seeing multiple girls.

In my opinion, the guy does NOT need to specifically give the girl any kind of permission regarding her ability to see other guys, but only relay what he does as a practice, and the girl should be able to get the idea. That's at least where I would start and see how the girl responds over the span of our relationship, and if she is getting too attached to me, then I may consider other ways to attempt to deal with that based particularly on how the situation is evolving.

[RichieP]

Cody, I'd say just be calmly persistent and reinitiate every once in a while. Push hard for a bit, insisting, and if she doesn't bite, then leave it a while. Try again in 1.5-2 weeks, etc. Sooner or later you'll catch her at a time when she's keen for a hookup.

Dont explicitly mention anything about other guys (or your other girls) or anything. Things must go unmentioned in those cultures.

But you could maybe throw out something to imply that you get it. "What you do or who you see on your own time is your business, no worries. Anyway, I wanna see you... come meet me for a drink tonight..." - I dunno something with that vibe.

Remember it's probably not about you. She's not concerned about whether *you* care about her seeing other guy(s), she's concerned about actually landing the provider, and not doing anything to jeopardise that. Sometimes you just have to try again later, either when she's lost the catch, or got it and is getting bored.

[RichieP]

(03-11-2015 09:43 AM)1818Steve Wrote:  

I have only spent about 10 weeks in Vietnam over the last two years (mostly Hanoi), but I have never witnessed any of this.

The only time I have seen a near-physical confrontation there was just after closing time, at a Bia Hoi on the edge of the Old Quarter in Hanoi.

That incident only reinforced my impression of Vietnamese in general being calm, mellow and not carrying a lot of ego.

I suspect they didn't want a visit from the police. If some tourist kicks off and the motorbike guy knifes him while he's drinking on their premises, they might get shut down.

Drunken tourists with no shirt on and making complete fools of themselves are likely seen as clowns to be calmed and dismissed.

Sometimes you do see a fracas between locals though. When I was in Vietnam I saw some explosive moments for sure. "Well, that escalated quickly!" was the theme, lol. I agree with you though that it seems to generally be a harmonious and peaceful culture.

[PsychedelicTaser]

(03-11-2015 08:05 AM)RichieP Wrote:  

^ Social status is a big thing in Asia and it's possible she was somehow using you to gain face/status in the eyes of someone else somehow, or create jealousy. It seems a bit too blatant for that though.

To be honest, she probably does like you. It could be that she was keen but clammed up for a number of other reasons.

I've been with girls in Asia who have been very into me but hot/cold and cagey and secretive. More often than not I've found out they're somehow attached, either married or there's some "provider" / long-term local interest on the scene.

Especially in countries like VN where hot girls are very much locked down and "bought-and-paid-for" by local guys with means.

My sense is she's keen for you but that "someone" is on their radar again. Perhaps some older provider-type dude who she thought was a lost cause but is now interested in her again and she's seeing $$$-signs. Could well be something like that.

Just play it patient, discreet, gently but firmly persistent. Re-initiate from time to time. She'll be hot, cold or indifferent... at a time she's hot, you can close.

If you do suspect she has a sponsor though, proceed with caution.

Thanks RichieP, seems like strong advice. My other thought was just she let loose a bit while drunk and that's why i'm trying to get just her out for drinks again.

I basically ignored her for a few days and will reengage soon but overall I think your advice is pretty spot on.

[JayJuanGee]

(03-14-2015 09:53 AM)PsychedelicTaser Wrote:  

(03-11-2015 08:05 AM)RichieP Wrote:  

^ Social status is a big thing in Asia and it's possible she was somehow using you to gain face/status in the eyes of someone else somehow, or create jealousy. It seems a bit too blatant for that though.

To be honest, she probably does like you. It could be that she was keen but clammed up for a number of other reasons.

I've been with girls in Asia who have been very into me but hot/cold and cagey and secretive. More often than not I've found out they're somehow attached, either married or there's some "provider" / long-term local interest on the scene.

Especially in countries like VN where hot girls are very much locked down and "bought-and-paid-for" by local guys with means.

My sense is she's keen for you but that "someone" is on their radar again. Perhaps some older provider-type dude who she thought was a lost cause but is now interested in her again and she's seeing $$$-signs. Could well be something like that.

Just play it patient, discreet, gently but firmly persistent. Re-initiate from time to time. She'll be hot, cold or indifferent... at a time she's hot, you can close.

If you do suspect she has a sponsor though, proceed with caution.

Thanks RichieP, seems like strong advice. My other thought was just she let loose a bit while drunk and that's why i'm trying to get just her out for drinks again.

I basically ignored her for a few days and will reengage soon but overall I think your advice is pretty spot on.

I think that if you can get her in private space, then it is much easier to let lose and to see how she responds. If there is anyway that people will see her or find out (such as anyone she knows), then she will be playing goodie goodie, until you really get her into a private space where she would be able to let go of some of her cultural inhibitions.

[Beyond Borders]

(03-11-2015 09:43 AM)1818Steve Wrote:  

That incident only reinforced my impression of Vietnamese in general being calm, mellow and not carrying a lot of ego.

Vietnamese are said by many other Southeast Asians to be the most aggressive in the region. On multiple levels. And this a region already known for people who go from zero to batshit crazy in the blink of an eye.

EDIT: Didn't mean to bump an old thread.

[RatInTheWoods]

[/quote] Vietnamese are said by many other Southeast Asians to be the most aggressive in the region. On multiple levels. And this a region already known for people who go from zero to batshit crazy in the blink of an eye. [/quote]


I spend a lot of time in Thailand, and have to say, don't let the warm, friendly, smiling Thai front fool you. If you push hard enough, and act an idiot, you will regret it.

I have seen many a drunk asshole think he was being a big man in a little bar, in a side Soi, feeling brave at the lack of obvious security. It takes a lot to get them in volved, but when they do, they go all the way on you.

You won't get 100m away before you get a proper lesson in Mua Thai from half a dozen hard ass local maffia. The bars all chip them some protection money, and they keep the peace.

If you are cool, pay your bill, show respect you will never meet them. Its a great system.

[Beyond Borders]

^ I'm not really sure what part of "zero to batshit crazy in the blink of an eye" gives you the impression I've allowed anything to "fool" me.

[esalen1]

Hi guys - Great Thread - I am very much looking forward to visiting Vietnam!

I was wondering if anyone can recommend a place to stay with great logistics, for THE BEST DAY GAME and some possible night game spots as well. I'd like to find a place on air nb or something similar. My budget is about 1k to 1.5k usd per month for rent.

Not a fan of staying at hotels when I'm gaming.

I am planning to come out in December for 3 or 4 weeks. I'd like to meet some of you guys if you are around

Thanks for you help!

[1818Steve]

(09-20-2015 01:55 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(03-11-2015 09:43 AM)1818Steve Wrote:  

That incident only reinforced my impression of Vietnamese in general being calm, mellow and not carrying a lot of ego.

Vietnamese are said by many other Southeast Asians to be the most aggressive in the region. On multiple levels. And this a region already known for people who go from zero to batshit crazy in the blink of an eye.

On the national scale, I am sure that is true.

On a personal scale that has not been my observation. I have met a lot of Vietnamese people, mostly younger and educated. They all seem to be calm by nature. Same with the thousands upon thousands of random people I have observed but not spoken to. I have not been chasing poon there, so I have not been exposed to any spurned-woman anger. But chicks can be possessive anywhere.

Anyway, I will be taking a trip back there in a few days. I hope to avoid the batshit crazy ones again. I am not chasing pussy, but maybe I will post a trip report anyway. There are probably some Rooshers who would be interested in an adventure travel in Vietnam type thread.

[liberlandio]

(10-23-2014 11:39 AM)Papi Rico Wrote:  

I was very well acquainted with and smashed several Hanoi transplants in Saigon. Compared to native Saigonese, they tended to sweet talk, were considerably bigger drama queens, and would get very aggressive when I didn't pick up a call, cancelled a date, etc. On the positive side, they all seemed to be extremely well-connected, and were either running or consulting for multiple businesses. They are general go-getters compared to the more laid-back (dare I say lazy) Saigonese.

Again, these differences, in my subjective experience, were trivial when I ventured out the Mekong delta, Central coast, and Highlands. The girls there are traditional in every sense of the word, and require a completely different approach.

Papi Rico, could you name a few cities where the girls are traditional? Is Da Lat one of them? Thank you.

[TheBulldozer]

Vietnam is still an extremely traditional society. Even in Saigon, basically outside nightlife in District 1, women are very traditional and conservative with their values. Family and honor matter in Vietnam.

There's no need to venture off to true third and fourth tier living such as Da Lat, Hue, or Can Tho in search of traditional women. You'd be so bored and such a fish out of water that you'd be done with the place before you even got started.

[monsquid]

Can Tho so pretty tho.

[Bienvenuto]

I've been in 2nd Tier Vietnam for the last 10 months.
Language is a real issue here.
Here the local 20 something girls in the main live with their family, have a curfew, are virgins until marriage.

The ones who date foreigners date soy boy expat Tefl teachers who have LTRs with them based on hand jobs, finger bashing and the occasional blow job. This after months of soy boy putting up with their daily emotional dramas and after their having been flown around the world to Singapore, Malaysia, London to meet soy boys family etc.

The club thots will jump on anyones dick but they are a small sub set with miles and miles on the clock of STD ridden alcoholic middle aged expats that you will occasionally see once in a blue moon in daylight hours outside of a bar or brothel. Great bodies tho' like all Viet chicks. (The thots, not the middle aged expats.)

There are actually higher status (looks wise) model type girls that will fuck and are all about Gucci, Prada, Louis Vuitton ( Ell Wee) .
Bear in mind though that whilst their make-work job in the bank pays them peanuts they are not the side piece of their manager, they are instead one of the side pieces of the OWNER of the bank --- who pays them $1000 a month allowance as well as paying their aspirational apartment's rent and buying them lots of shiny clothes, phones, shoes etc.
The guys these girls date may be 5'4" small town heroes but they have their own empires and are worth a fortune.

One of the hacks I have found here is that the girls with the scratchy English are more excited and keener to be around you than the ones that already have fluent English down. Draw your own conclusions as to why that is.

I'm sure that with the right attitude and a bit of luck people can have a great time with the ladies in the provinces, but with the same attitude and luck the results will be a whole lot better in the cities and in the meantime its good to be aware of the pitfalls out here.