I’ve noticed a pretty negative sentiment lately on few threads about the amount of effort men need to put in to game women. Additionally, this is compounded by the shift that a lot of men are meeting women online (based on the last 5 lays thread). With this in mind, I was curious to see how much effort other guys are willing to put in for the bang, or to get a solid FWB / potential LTR/Mini relationship.
It seems to me that I probably put in a lot more effort than some of the guys on these forums are willing to put in. Whether that means sometimes flying out to meet up with a 9, driving 30 mins for the lay when I’m craving it, or putting in the effort to sit through a conversation. I’ve been reading how guys aren’t willing to talk to girls who don’t put effort into conversations.
One of my biggest lessons learned was learning to basically talk to a wall. Based on my results – you’re only dominating until their shyness wears off. After that, the women open up too. So I wanted to get a better gauge of why guys stopped putting in the effort, or what their limits are.
Regarding Effort
Initial Conversational effort: I think this is probably the biggest area where most guys lack. I think we all know by now that most girls hate a simple hey or hi (especially online) because it puts the onus on them to carry the conversation. Personally speaking, I use conversation steering to talk about my main 3 topics with every girl. Now granted, most of my questions are always the same – and my responses are usually copied and pasted. However, my responses come in by paragraphs – and *sometimes* girls start writing paragraphs back to me. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the times I’ll paste my paragraph and they have one or two-word answers. However, I just keep going through all 3 of my topics. I sincerely feel that this puts me apart from every other guy from the get-go. However, I wanted to learn how others do it, and if they really just have conversations of a couple words each back and forth the entire time.
Planning dates effort: I’m pretty sure most of the guys here take the effort to plan the dates. I definitely do, so that I can pick the places closest to me that offer the best logistics. I think where a lot of people might fall short, is selling the place you’re suggesting and making it sound great. I usually meet at a bar, but I tell them we can grab drinks and then watch the sunset. I emphasize the experience rather than it just being a bar.
Actual date effort: I read in some recent threads about guys becoming discouraged to put in the effort on dates since girls usually don’t try here either. I’m not sure about you guys, but now I just kind of expect this. However, I go armed with pictures and videos to re-talk about my 3 topics mentioned earlier. I’ll show them pictures and videos of cool things I’ve done, etc. while we have drinks or walk. I guess I wanted to paint a picture of what I do on a date that works and displays effort. Other guys not being on par, just makes the girls not want them and rather flock to the guys who do put in the effort or paint the illusion that they do.
Maintaining effort: I usually turn to Social media (IG/ Snap) for maintaining. I try to send out snaps at least once or twice every few days. If I haven't heard back, I also send restart texts, so that the connection doesn’t die out. I was curious as to what others do because I love the idea of only texting for logistics – but I feel as if that is not enough now.
In terms of hotness
For a 6 (bang but not date): I usually just go through my conversational topics, and ask if they want to come have a drink at my place. If they say no, I’ll set up a date 2 for a walk around the park, or straight to mine.
For a 7 (would date): I’ll have a much longer conversation for an hour or two + and then invite. If not, I’m willing to meet up for more dates if its close to me or something that doesn’t involve me paying more than $20-30 for her.
For a 8 (really attractive): Same as above, but I’d be willing to drive to her if theres no other option. I’d probably fly as well if it’s another city, and theres mutual friends (reduces flaking, esp. when flying).
For a 9 (model type): Recently a girl made a joke that I can pick her up at the airport when she lands if I wanted to hangout, and I did. Probably wouldn’t do that for any girls under a 9, especially since it was the first time meeting. Most people would probably knock on keeping frame here, but that extra effort was well rewarded.
I’m curious about the effort other men are putting in and if the efforts are rewarded or not. What are your limits?
It seems to me that I probably put in a lot more effort than some of the guys on these forums are willing to put in. Whether that means sometimes flying out to meet up with a 9, driving 30 mins for the lay when I’m craving it, or putting in the effort to sit through a conversation. I’ve been reading how guys aren’t willing to talk to girls who don’t put effort into conversations.
One of my biggest lessons learned was learning to basically talk to a wall. Based on my results – you’re only dominating until their shyness wears off. After that, the women open up too. So I wanted to get a better gauge of why guys stopped putting in the effort, or what their limits are.
Regarding Effort
Initial Conversational effort: I think this is probably the biggest area where most guys lack. I think we all know by now that most girls hate a simple hey or hi (especially online) because it puts the onus on them to carry the conversation. Personally speaking, I use conversation steering to talk about my main 3 topics with every girl. Now granted, most of my questions are always the same – and my responses are usually copied and pasted. However, my responses come in by paragraphs – and *sometimes* girls start writing paragraphs back to me. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the times I’ll paste my paragraph and they have one or two-word answers. However, I just keep going through all 3 of my topics. I sincerely feel that this puts me apart from every other guy from the get-go. However, I wanted to learn how others do it, and if they really just have conversations of a couple words each back and forth the entire time.
Planning dates effort: I’m pretty sure most of the guys here take the effort to plan the dates. I definitely do, so that I can pick the places closest to me that offer the best logistics. I think where a lot of people might fall short, is selling the place you’re suggesting and making it sound great. I usually meet at a bar, but I tell them we can grab drinks and then watch the sunset. I emphasize the experience rather than it just being a bar.
Actual date effort: I read in some recent threads about guys becoming discouraged to put in the effort on dates since girls usually don’t try here either. I’m not sure about you guys, but now I just kind of expect this. However, I go armed with pictures and videos to re-talk about my 3 topics mentioned earlier. I’ll show them pictures and videos of cool things I’ve done, etc. while we have drinks or walk. I guess I wanted to paint a picture of what I do on a date that works and displays effort. Other guys not being on par, just makes the girls not want them and rather flock to the guys who do put in the effort or paint the illusion that they do.
Maintaining effort: I usually turn to Social media (IG/ Snap) for maintaining. I try to send out snaps at least once or twice every few days. If I haven't heard back, I also send restart texts, so that the connection doesn’t die out. I was curious as to what others do because I love the idea of only texting for logistics – but I feel as if that is not enough now.
In terms of hotness
For a 6 (bang but not date): I usually just go through my conversational topics, and ask if they want to come have a drink at my place. If they say no, I’ll set up a date 2 for a walk around the park, or straight to mine.
For a 7 (would date): I’ll have a much longer conversation for an hour or two + and then invite. If not, I’m willing to meet up for more dates if its close to me or something that doesn’t involve me paying more than $20-30 for her.
For a 8 (really attractive): Same as above, but I’d be willing to drive to her if theres no other option. I’d probably fly as well if it’s another city, and theres mutual friends (reduces flaking, esp. when flying).
For a 9 (model type): Recently a girl made a joke that I can pick her up at the airport when she lands if I wanted to hangout, and I did. Probably wouldn’t do that for any girls under a 9, especially since it was the first time meeting. Most people would probably knock on keeping frame here, but that extra effort was well rewarded.
I’m curious about the effort other men are putting in and if the efforts are rewarded or not. What are your limits?