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How much effort do you put in?

How much effort do you put in?

Quote: (09-23-2018 12:12 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

Quote: (09-22-2018 04:49 PM)sethg Wrote:  

Putting in more effort than the girl besides the opener and initial attraction phase is a novice move.
I agree. I just let social media do most of it after the bang, and use a maintaining strategy.

Summed up. Im not going out of my way to convince a strange bitch of my greatness. It should be fucking palpable as soon as I approach.

Do you get laid consistently with this method? I'm not trying for once a month here.

Quote: (09-23-2018 08:25 PM)monsquid Wrote:  

At 33 I have very little patience anymore. Most women are not worth your time. Luckily our game gets more efficient as we age.

Im curious as to how you've made it more efficient over the years. I'd like to make it more efficient, while still producing the same results.

Quote: (09-23-2018 08:42 PM)DimeBait Wrote:  

I’ve been contemplating this myself lately. I’m an input/output guy. If I like her and she puts in effort, I’ll match it. However, oftentimes, the ones I don’t really like are the ones trying, whereas the ones I do like aren’t. Regardless, I just cannot bring myself to “sweat” a woman. Either she recognizes my worth or she doesn’t. I know many women still subscribe to the fallacy that a man should pursue and put in extraordinary effort, but guys like me aren’t growing on trees and I refuse to be that simp that pursues relentlessly. Especially when I know, from experience, the juice is rarely ever worth the squeeze.

No I won’t put in unreciprocated effort.
No I won’t drive, let alone fly, anywhere for pussy.
No I won’t chase bishes
No I won’t try to out perform the next simp or the one who came before.

I’m happy just being me. Being in my own company or with friends and family is oftentimes infinitely better than entertaining some boring ass broad with a cute face and a phat ass.

I think you make a great point, in the ones that do put in the effort are the ones you dont like (5/6's) and the ones you do like (7/8's) are the ones that don't. I think I meant to gear this discussion more towards the higher quality girls that do require more effort. I think most of us would easily agree in taking the girls that require no effort and banging them, no one is arguing that. However, its not like the 8's are lining up and putting an equal amount of effort as the men are. However, my focus is more in this area.

Quote: (09-23-2018 09:26 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

I size women up before I put in any actual effort. There’s two criteria really:

1. Is she girlfriend material?

2. How much time/money will it cost me to get her naked.

If question 1 is no and 2 is more than the cost of one date ....I won’t even bother trying.

I think more effort could easily mean less cost. A walk around the park is kind of the same as getting lunch, except one is free.

Quote: (09-23-2018 09:53 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:  

Quote: (09-22-2018 11:28 PM)Tiger Man Wrote:  

I have almost always dated up in physical attractiveness. I think most men at least try to do this. And I have, admittedly, ridiculously high standards. This has become an issue recently as I have found that the best quality for relationships comes from girls hovering around 6s (you may have heard my question on the most recent Roosh Hour). I recently began to engage in online game. Prior to that, it was all in real life. I preferenced day game and social circle, as I think it gives me a better quality of girl. ... Pretty much anything that resulted in a relationship (of whatever length) came from social circle.

As I've also found, it becomes increasingly clear that as you go along, you'll want to find quality once you go through the phase BS of "getting bangs" (however long that phase is). The physical upside/max of this as you state, is the 7, and most are 6-7 --- Ok to fine looking, but just good personality, normal, not focused on material and not constantly desiring attention from you more than she gives you. I think if you can trade a little lower "hotness" [your "high standards"] for youth, you've just hacked the system.

This reality makes me understand why arranged marriages of old worked so well. It was generally understood what the relative SMV was of any family's progeny, so matching was reasonable considering male and female desires. Grass would always be greener for females, but as is usual, that was understood --- marrying for "love" would end up in far too high of a percentage of old maids, modern day cat women.

I definitely agree in taking the younger 7 than the older 8. We've got the same mindset. It just took me a while to get to that conclusion. Although its something that wasn't a concern for me until now since I'm getting into my upper twenties and do want to get married and have kids at some point.

Quote: (09-25-2018 08:57 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

You put up the max effort initially upfront to maximze your bang funnel. After that it very quickly decreases unless she's matching you in effort/passion/chemistry.

I wouldn't say 9s take longer than 7s but they usually require more effort. However, the rewards can be enormous.

I do think it's funny, particularly on this forum, that some guys aren't willing to invest an hour of time and conversational gambits and stories plus cost of 2 drinks to try to get a hot girl into bed. To each their own.

I'll drive 30 mins for an 8+, as long as she can carry a good conversation or is a great cook. I wouldn't fly anywhere for anybody. I'll uber them over if need be.

I agree man! I feel like theres a lot of resistance in this thread on this whole effort thing, and you make an excellent point. I'm in the same boat as you.

Quote: (09-25-2018 09:05 PM)corsega Wrote:  

6.5 and below - invite directly over to my place, texting for logistics and sexual escalation only

7 - will go out for a drink at an external location, probably would also just invite over if I'm busy, would invest 20 minutes in a phone call if she's under 20 years old

7.5 and above - would meet out for drinks and pay for them, would pay for Uber if she wanted to come right over

Solid answer! We're on similar pages. I'd meet a 6.5 out tho, somehwere minutes from me however.

Quote: (09-26-2018 02:06 AM)flyinghorse Wrote:  

Low effort for me.

I just go on tinder and get matches and make chit chat with women.

If I talk to someone who I find interesting I will ask them out for a beer

Usually it goes well and we fuck with a few dates.

Low effort and I enjoy the process.

I'm now in the relationship and met my gf by doing this.

I think your 'low effort' is quite a decent amount of effort in my book, with it being a few dates.

Quote: (09-26-2018 04:19 AM)OCZ Wrote:  

Quote: (09-23-2018 09:26 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

I size women up before I put in any actual effort. There’s two criteria really:

1. Is she girlfriend material?

2. How much time/money will it cost me to get her naked.

If question 1 is no and 2 is more than the cost of one date ....I won’t even bother trying.

I use the same formula, but also how good I think she is. This will vary in girls who are 7.5 or above, probably I will put more effort the hotter she is. One thing I will say is important to mention is the fact that if you put too much effort, they will know and will give them the impression they have power over you. It is a little tricky, but the key is to manage well the time you spend on it. I will say the harder to pinpoint how much effort you will put in a girl is if she is way over average.

I agree, I think its the higher tier of women where the effort starts to become exponentially more.

How much effort do you put in?

Quote: (09-26-2018 07:12 PM)True Balla Wrote:  

Quote: (09-22-2018 11:28 PM)Tiger Man Wrote:  

I'm putting in a decreasing amount of effort to get most girls.

Outside of my ongoing online game experiment, I am putting virtually no effort in to bangs. I have gotten cranky in my old age (30s). I was never a notch counter and had no illusions of or desire to bang 1000 women. In my teens and twenties, I would make concerted an repeated efforts to go after any girl I found attractive. I didn't repeat on the same girl. But, I would just get the brush off, and I would turn around and go after a different girl. I don't have the patience or desire to do that any more. At this point, an 8+ would literally have to serve herself up to me on a plate to get my attention for a bang. And I'm not bragging here. I'm not saying that happens. I am just describing my mindset.

A lot of that has to do with my transition in to a more stable LTR phase. I have not completely given up hope of getting married and having children. On that front, it would seem (to an outside observer) that I am also making little effort. In truth, I am making a monumental effort. It is just that I encounter very few women I consider wife material. When I do encounter one, I put in the effort. But, I have found that with all the women I consider better stock, I don't have to put in much effort. I don't get the epic shit tests and emotional roller coasters that I get with most women. That is, in part, why I consider these women wife material.

Thanks for the clear and concise answer! It seems like we are on the same page in terms of putting in the effort early, and going into maintenance mode. Additionally, it seems like your effort is decreased with an LTR since you have a fallback, which makes sense.

But, it also seems like you're saying 6's make for better relationships (which they do) and that those girls require less effort. I get where you're coming from...but I just wouldn't personally want a 6. I wish I did, but I dont -. I think im stuck having to put in the extra effort trying to get the higher up girls

This is the exact reason that I sent in that question to Roosh. It was something like, "How do you readjust from 8's (or even 9's) to 6's?"

A little while ago, I ran in to a (mental) issue that caused me to seriously consider this. I was seeing this girl who was very good LTR material - call her the girlfriend. We hadn't quite progressed to that point, but I could see it potentially going that way. A few months in, we were in the Western US, visiting some mutual friends and I ran in to this girl - call her the vacation. The vacation and I have had an on and off sort of thing since we were teenagers. Out families have been friends since my childhood, we went to some of the same schools, etc. So, I bump in to the vacation in, of all places, a resort we used to frequent. She tells me that she has a room and that I should join her for coffee in this deli they have on property. I had to take a pass and told her I would call her. That was that for me. I don't cheat when I am in a relationship, for various reasons.

But, that situation has bothered me ever since. And, for only one reason. The girlfriend was a six. The vacation is a nine - like a legitimate, total smokeshow, there are no tens, this is the best it gets, nine. The vacation is not, by my estimation, a good prospect for an LTR. Who has an ongoing (for more than a decade) affair with a guy she went to prep school with? And, I don't know what she does when she's not with me, so... But, she's a nine. I still can't get over it. I honestly think it may have contributed (at least in a subconscious way) to my breakup with the girlfriend.

I have a friend who is a serious player. He is about the same age as me, but he is a definite notch counter and revels in the chase of new girls. Fair enough for him, but not exactly my style. He is always telling me that as long as I can get eights (and, even the occasional nine) I will not be happy with a six. He suggests waiting until I am a little bit older and have lost the SMV that allows me to pull girls like that. But, I don't want to Larry King it with my kids and be in a cryonics chamber at their high school graduation.

So, I am 100% percent with the idea that this is a hard thing to make work. I have spoken to a few other forum members about the damage that notch chasing can do to guys (not just women). I think at least some of it has to do with the quality you were able to pull.

The happiest players I have ever met are the guys with no standards. They take home and bang anything and enjoy it, because to them, what is the difference? Interestingly enough, these guys were often also the most likely to slide in to a happy LTRs. I think this is, because, again, what is the difference to them? They find all sorts of different women appealing for different reasons.

But, when you have high standards (again, I admit it), it becomes difficult IF you were also able to deliver. And, I was. In this way, I wonder if I have spoiled myself. It's like the male equivalent of being Alpha Widowed. Maybe I am destined to sit in restaurants with my passibly attractive wife and reminiscently admire nubile, young girls from afar.

Currently out of office.

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