[yankeetravels]

Hey guys. So, I made this thread because I'm currently facing a dilemma. I'm in my mid-20's and graduated college about two years ago. A few months after I graduated, I took a big trip to Asia and was gone for a few months. Then I came back to America and because I didn't have a job lined up when I got back, I went back home to live with my folks. The trip also took a decent dent off my savings as well.

It took me about 3-4 months to find work after coming back last year, but now I have it and because I'm living at home with local/remote work, I've been able to save a good amount of money. Living at home has mostly worked out ok during this stretch, it has honestly been a bit cushy, I get along with my family, and most importantly, it's been a great space to get work done and build up savings from that.

I've been more focused on work/money partially because of this, but an issue I ran into recently was trying to have sex in my house. This was the first time I brought a girl back to my actual home, since I usually always do it in other locations but didn't want to shell out $200 for a hotel. I didn't realize the awkwardness and barriers my house had for trying to maintain a sex life in my living quarters. My house isn't that big so it's a bit hard to have absolute privacy for this, and my folks have expressed they're uncomfortable having girls I casually sleep with coming over. I overslept the next morning for getting her out, and it resulted in all of us being a bit tense and on edge in our own home. I don't think it was a winning situation for anybody involved. Not to mention, I think the situation made me lose a bit of frame with the girl, maybe looking at me as more of a boy or a kid.

The problem is I looked up apartments in my area and I can still save a little money with my income, but not nearly as much. Currently, I save about 10x what I would if I had an apartment in my area (I live in an expensive part of the country for this). Also, sex life is pretty much the only disadvantage I have for living at home right now, granted I believe it's a decent piece to a happy and more fulfilled life for men. Plus, I doubt I see myself living in this area long term, so I've been hesitant to invest in an apartment here. Thought about moving to another part of America or abroad. But, I still have local work to do here, I'm not 100% remote yet. With that said, the town I live in is a little trashy and a suburb compared to where I would get an apartment, which has much more 20's women in the area along with being near a big city.

So, the options seem to be pay for a hotel every time I want to have sex, move out and get my own apartment but give up saving any decent money for a while, go full monk mode for a while, or continue to bring girls back anyway to my place and possibly make things pretty tense with my folks. What would you guys do if you were me? Money or more independence and privacy?

Right now, about half of my local friends have moved out with places of their own, mostly moving for work or for girl opportunities. The ones that haven't are mostly sticking around for financial reasons.

[wi30]

Get out ASAP.

My brother moved back home during college. It's been 7+ years now. He's saved up a shitload of money, but keeps holding off on making the jump to buying a home or renting an apartment.

I struck out on my own since I was 18 which means higher debt, expenses, etc. I lived in 5+ states from age 18-22, paid out of state tuition, and generally built up a lot of debt with student loans.

My brother is only a year older and I'm sure he looks a lot better than me on a balance sheet or credit report. But I'm at least a decade ahead of him in life experience. He's lived in the same city his entire life, doesn't take risks or chances. He's finally got a serious girlfriend who is getting him out of his comfort zone. My wife and I got them to go to Rio with us and it was his first time out of the country. He had a blast.

yankeetravels, what do you want in life? I'm sure you don't picture your parents as roommates as you reach 30. It might hurt financially for a little bit, but you can't put a price on your freedom.

[uhriginal]

I used to live at home op, best part was saving money and international traveling around 4x a week a year. I usually banged girls at their places but I met them through social circles.

Now what I pay in rent a month is a round trip ticket and a couple nights in a decent hotel. Fuck this trap. Savings also going up slower

[gework]

I would say it depends on your goals.

Are you shooting towards the top 1% of earners?
Are you shooting for comfortable location independence?
Or are you happy to just do 9-5?

If it's the last you then you are missing out on life without gaining anything you couldn't cover the costs for over your lifetime.

If it's the second you seem to be heading towards it and could probably have a good life in a low cost area like SEA.

If it's the first then I think staying at home is a good compromise. I set up my business while living at home not paying for anything. Because of that I could work 10-16 hours per day with no rest and am years ahead of where I would have been living a normal life. It came at the cost of pretty much everything else. But IMO it was worth it. Now I can do pretty much whatever I want. All the people I know who lived the fast life in their 20s are now working 9-5, putting on weight, slipping into depression as they invested their first decade of freedom into things that have returned them nothing.

When I look at my father's friends it's the same. The ones that had fun and had girls had status that began erroding heavily at 30. They invested in illusion and the expendable, which were all blown away.

The guys who got their heads down and might have been seen as fags on the other hand make their investments in things that go up in value and by 30 they are in their ascendancy socially.

There are guys like Dan B that can have it all - the fast life and real assets, but that's rare.

And you can make investments that don't come good. There is quite a lot of risk in living very conservative and sacrificing all for something that may not come good. Then you'll end up with nothing to show for your 20s or 30s.

[randomakakak]

Move out. Sounds like you have an itch you want to scratch. I was in the same position as you last year and did. More happened to me the year I moved out than in the two I spent at home. To me, that life experience is more valuable. Sounds like your parents place will always be an option for you later if you decide to move back and start saving; make sure you thank your parents for that.

[yankeetravels]

(09-22-2018 08:27 AM)uhriginal Wrote:  

I used to live at home op, best part was saving money and international traveling around 4x a week a year. I usually banged girls at their places but I met them through social circles.

Now what I pay in rent a month is a round trip ticket and a couple nights in a decent hotel. Fuck this trap. Savings also going up slower

Yea, this is definitely the biggest pro of living at home. I have no issues budgeting money for trips right now because they're pretty much my only major expenses for the year. I've gone on four vacations this year alone.

(09-22-2018 09:02 AM)gework Wrote:  

I would say it depends on your goals.

Are you shooting towards the top 1% of earners?
Are you shooting for comfortable location independence?
Or are you happy to just do 9-5?

If it's the last you then you are missing out on life without gaining anything you couldn't cover the costs for over your lifetime.

If it's the second you seem to be heading towards it and could probably have a good life in a low cost area like SEA.

If it's the first then I think staying at home is a good compromise.

It's definitely the second. I'm not desperate to be a top 1% earner since I'm really not materialistic at all and I don't think it's worth giving up every other aspect of life for a long time. I don't really work 9-5 now, more an odd hours guy. But, I'm working towards location independence for now with a place like SEA on my radar to live in for a while if I can get a little more remote income coming in. This was a big motivation for living home and saving money, it's just coming at a cost of sex life for however long I stay.

(09-22-2018 09:55 AM)randomakakak Wrote:  

Move out. Sounds like you have an itch you want to scratch. I was in the same position as you last year and did. More happened to me the year I moved out than in the two I spent at home. To me, that life experience is more valuable. Sounds like your parents place will always be an option for you later if you decide to move back and start saving; make sure you thank your parents for that.

This is an accurate summation. I lived on my own a few months in the Philippines. I felt more alive, free, and independent than at any other point in my life. I guess it's a dragon to chase in the back of my mind since. I got more out of it than dorming in college. My parents are 100% my safety net until they die or are in too poor health to run their house. They're very kind and will always have my back, and they want me to have a good life. They are the type that have a hard time letting go though, especially because I'm their youngest child. I'm grateful every day for the advantages my parents have given me, having a savings wouldn't be possible without them.

(09-22-2018 02:10 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

Get out ASAP.

My brother moved back home during college. It's been 7+ years now. He's saved up a shitload of money, but keeps holding off on making the jump to buying a home or renting an apartment.

I struck out on my own since I was 18 which means higher debt, expenses, etc. I lived in 5+ states from age 18-22, paid out of state tuition, and generally built up a lot of debt with student loans.

My brother is only a year older and I'm sure he looks a lot better than me on a balance sheet or credit report. But I'm at least a decade ahead of him in life experience. He's lived in the same city his entire life, doesn't take risks or chances. He's finally got a serious girlfriend who is getting him out of his comfort zone. My wife and I got them to go to Rio with us and it was his first time out of the country. He had a blast.

yankeetravels, what do you want in life? I'm sure you don't picture your parents as roommates as you reach 30. It might hurt financially for a little bit, but you can't put a price on your freedom.

This is my one concern about living at home too long. My life is very cushy right now, really not much to worry about covering myself. I can't say I haven't thought about getting too comfortable and not getting out there as well as working harder to get myself ahead in life. What I want in life is location independence and freedom in the long term. But, I'm realizing I might be able to at least get independence and freedom moving out sooner. Because as you said, it probably isn't the best idea to have parents as roommates when I reach 30, and that may not be insanely far away if I'm not careful.

[Seth_Rose]

Based on your initial post and responses above, you need to create a long-term plan for what you want to achieve. You need to be brutally honest and unashamed of what you want. It sounds like you want to be location-independent, solidify your remote work, and then move to SEA or somewhere.

If that's the case, then you need to start planning. First step is to set a target date: When do you want to be moved out by?

Next step is to create financial targets. I'd recommend setting a monthly income goal and a total savings goal.

In the next year or so, or whenever you want to move out, you've hit your financial targets then it's time to go. You've been abroad before for a few months so it shouldn't be too hard for you to do it again!

But I would not be in a rush to move out of your parents house. You don't need to go next week or next month, again set a target date. Keep living at home, stack some cash, and you'll be set when the time comes.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Both plans are fine - I know guys who started working early, saved up a shit-ton and then instantly bought their own apartment when they moved out end 20s!

But it comes with down-sides. If you live in a big city and can fuck girls wherever, your parents are cool and there is a big apartment, then this is not so bad.

Other guys don't use this well, so getting out on their own is better. Since your situation is uncertain, then moving out does not make much sense. You are planning on moving anyway, so work more, get hotel rooms a few times a month or fuck at her place and then move away later with more cash.

But it's your life.

[flanders]

This might fix your problem.

[godfather dust]

(09-22-2018 02:10 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

Get out ASAP.

My brother moved back home during college. It's been 7+ years now. He's saved up a shitload of money, but keeps holding off on making the jump to buying a home or renting an apartment.

I struck out on my own since I was 18 which means higher debt, expenses, etc. I lived in 5+ states from age 18-22, paid out of state tuition, and generally built up a lot of debt with student loans.

My brother is only a year older and I'm sure he looks a lot better than me on a balance sheet or credit report. But I'm at least a decade ahead of him in life experience. He's lived in the same city his entire life, doesn't take risks or chances. He's finally got a serious girlfriend who is getting him out of his comfort zone. My wife and I got them to go to Rio with us and it was his first time out of the country. He had a blast.

yankeetravels, what do you want in life? I'm sure you don't picture your parents as roommates as you reach 30. It might hurt financially for a little bit, but you can't put a price on your freedom.

My best friend in high school still lives at home. He was slightly more popular (people were often scared of me.) Banged a few more girls as well.

Anyway, since moving out at 18 (thrown out actually) I've become a man and he is still a boy.

[iop890]

How much do you save a week and how much could you save if you moved out?

[MongolianAbroad]

My parents are totally different. I stayed with them until 22. They'd still have me living with them if they could, they're amazing. Thinking back, I kind of owe them an apology for keeping them up into the early hours of the morning, their bedroom was right under mine. They're saints, they really are.

In your position, if you're going for location independence, I'd stay put. If you're looking to stay in the states, then yeah, I'd get my own place with great logistics, probably in the college area of town, those parts of town are always a lot of fun, and depending on the city, might not be too pricey. You could also try the states for a few years, get a 9 to 5, and accumulate property. The issue is that you've been abroad now, and once you've seen that, it's hard to go back to the 9 to 5.

Both can be fun. I've tried both, though, and in my case, living abroad is just on another level.

[the Thing]

Do the pros/cons and a financial projection statement for either option.

How long are you planning to live with your parents?
Do you plan on moving out when you get a raise? A new job? Once you get a business up and running? Or ever?
If you don't move out how much will you spend on hotel rooms per month?
If you do move out will your rent, utilities and expenses be greater than that number?
How much would you be saving in each situation?
Assuming you're investing your savings, and with regard to compound interest, what do you project your net worth will be for either option, in a year? 5 years? 10 years?
Are you bothered with the above number at all, or are you more about making a reasonably comfortable living and focusing on your social life?
Is living with your parents affecting your psyche? If yes in what way?
It doesn't sound like it's that bad considering you can still bring girls over at all -despite a little tension- but if it's eating you away on the inside, can you put a dollar value on your mental health?
What are your short and long term life goals? Get a business up and running? Climb the corporate ladder? Be location independent and travel the world? Something else?
What makes you tick? Are you money driven? Fame driven? Romance driven? Do you aspire to be worth 8 figures one day? Be famous? Travel? Acquire flags from each country? Go into academia? Be a race car driver? Or what else?

Personally I'm partial to wi30@ in this regard, I moved out at a very early age as well and moved all around the world. My freedom is important to me and if I didn't move out I would have developed way slower in terms of personality.

The list above may sound a bit excessive, but I was just giving some examples. Taking every single detail into consideration is important because everyone's situation is different.

It sounds like you want to go 100% remote in the near future. Also 10x savings is nothing that you'd want to skip out on.

If your relationship is otherwise healthy, I'd just stick it out with the folks for a year or two, build a good foundation, and THEN move out. You're still young, 1-2 years is not that long and you'd be doing much more damage once you got the rest of your life figured out.

Also, if you go this route you should definitely game your parents so there is less tension when you bring birds over. I don't have much experience on this however.

[Lund]

I know some guys who are in their mid-late 30's who stay with their parents to save money. They are from family-oriented cultures tho.

Individualism is stressed heavily in Anglo-American culture -- its a good and bad thing.

As long as you are not a burden on your aging parents, I would stay with them to save money and get home cooked meals daily. Depending on the parents, they might like it, if their son is still around for company and to help with errands. Maybe to help them financially as well.

It all depends on what culture you come from and how you view money, in my opinion.

[Crash_Bandicoot]

This is an extremely tough question that I have thought about A LOT over the past few months. But given your goals, I feel like I have answer for you, OP:

Are you seriously going to give away everything you have - free rent at your parents house, an enormous amount of free time to work on side projects, the ability to save a shit ton of money and pour that into investments, and the ability to have someone that runs all your errands for free too - just so you can bang a few chicks once every so often?

OP - you have the opportunity that so many people don't have. You can build an enormous business, you can save lots of money and invest in a house, you can spend dozens of hours a week thinking of ideas, reading books, and implementing with all the extra free time you have living with your parents.

Don't give it all up just so you can get laid a few times.

Chances are that if you move out of your parents house, you will be spending most of your time working on creating your own business and other side projects that you won't even have enough time to benefit from the fact that you live alone . That's the dilemma I'm in now. I live in the greatest city in the world - New York City - and it's a complete pussy paradise here. But I pay lots of rent and have no time to enjoy it because I'm working on building my own business, learning a language, writing some websites, and investing all of my savings. And the rest of my time is doing shit errands like buying groceries, cleaning my room, making food, doing laundry, paying bullshit bills, etc. I have no time to enjoy the fact that I don't live with my parents anymore. I would have been much more ahead in my side business and language learning if I would have stayed at home with my parents.

Forget getting laid. Make things happen. You're young. Cities will never go away. The moment you get yourself set financially and professionally, move out and you will be way better off than most others. If you want to continue getting experiences, then go out on a date once a week, explore the closest city to you, maybe join a few organizations near you, etc.

I'm not telling you to stay at home forever - but If I were you, then I would spend 1-2 years more at home and then move out once you're in a better position.

[MongolianAbroad]

What about a compromise? Ask your parents if they'll let you bring girls home more often if you pitch in with rent. Which you should be doing anyways if you're in your mid-20's, but if you're paying nothing, then see if they can give you a bit more leeway if you pay rent.

Win-win.

[wi30]

(09-23-2018 01:40 AM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  

This is an extremely tough question that I have thought about A LOT over the past few months. But given your goals, I feel like I have answer for you, OP:

Are you seriously going to give away everything you have - free rent at your parents house, an enormous amount of free time to work on side projects, the ability to save a shit ton of money and pour that into investments, and the ability to have someone that runs all your errands for free too - just so you can bang a few chicks once every so often?

OP - you have the opportunity that so many people don't have. You can build an enormous business, you can save lots of money and invest in a house, you can spend dozens of hours a week thinking of ideas, reading books, and implementing with all the extra free time you have living with your parents.

Don't give it all up just so you can get laid a few times.

Chances are that if you move out of your parents house, you will be spending most of your time working on creating your own business and other side projects that you won't even have enough time to benefit from the fact that you live alone . That's the dilemma I'm in now. I live in the greatest city in the world - New York City - and it's a complete pussy paradise here. But I pay lots of rent and have no time to enjoy it because I'm working on building my own business, learning a language, writing some websites, and investing all of my savings. And the rest of my time is doing shit errands like buying groceries, cleaning my room, making food, doing laundry, paying bullshit bills, etc. I have no time to enjoy the fact that I don't live with my parents anymore. I would have been much more ahead in my side business and language learning if I would have stayed at home with my parents.

Forget getting laid. Make things happen. You're young. Cities will never go away. The moment you get yourself set financially and professionally, move out and you will be way better off than most others. If you want to continue getting experiences, then go out on a date once a week, explore the closest city to you, maybe join a few organizations near you, etc.

I'm not telling you to stay at home forever - but If I were you, then I would spend 1-2 years more at home and then move out once you're in a better position.

This is horrible advice.

I'm sorry that as a grown ass man you are so inconvenienced to buy groceries, do laundry, and pay your bills. Life must be pretty rough. Jesus Christ. None of us live on our own, work 60+ hours a week, or take care of ourselves.

[the Thing]

(09-23-2018 02:55 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

(09-23-2018 01:40 AM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  

...

This is horrible advice.

I'm sorry that as a grown ass man you are so inconvenienced to buy groceries, do laundry, and pay your bills. Life must be pretty rough. Jesus Christ. None of us live on our own, work 60+ hours a week, or take care of ourselves.

What's so horrible about it? He's already in his mid-20s and already moved out once and even travelled abroad so he's probably already accustomed to doing his chores by himself, and is more mature and experienced compared to someone who never moved out after high school.

OP says mid 20s so I'll assume 25. If he does it for 2 years he'll be 27. If he's in a healthy relationship with his parents, he can move back in for a year or two, have a large part his chores taken of, while he frees up multiple hours per day that he can spend working on generating income, while saving 10x what he would have saved had he moved out and lived alone, while still banging the occasional chick here and there.

So, instead of moving out at 25 just to fit society's arbitrary definition of a man and busting his ass off to make ends meet, what I'm saying is he should move out at 26 having built a side income stream or two, maybe a blog, better physique since more time to work out.

I myself moved out at 15 (boarding high school) and never moved back with my parents, and I kind of wish I had done this myself in my early 20s. Yes I learned a lot about life than what I would have if I hadn't moved out, but I literally busted my ass off and got fully burnt out multiple times along the way.

OP if you do this and stick it out for a year you'll be 26 instead of 25. The difference is literally nothing. You'll most likely be better off financially and physically, since you'll have had more time to focus on yourself. Yet the 20s women in the urban part of town you want to move to, will still be in their 20s.

All things considered, you'll be doing much much much more damage than what you could do now.

What's wrong with that?

[RedKurrant]

OP, both Crash and Thing are spot on here.

I'm currently in a similar position to you. I'm 25 and just quit my full-time job in order to go back to University to finish off a masters degree. My aim is to get the degree finished ASAP (~9 months) and then work on my business idea.

I initially thought that I'd move closer to uni for more independence, and I'd get a part-time job to cover my living expenses. But, I didn't take into account that this would conflict with my goal of getting the degree done and starting the business ASAP. As Crash mentioned, I'd effectively be wasting time doing errands (groceries, washing, cleaning etc.) and working in a shitty part-time job to make ends meet. I'd also have hardly any spare time to date girls. So, I'm now staying at home (will be commuting to Uni 1x a week) until the degree is done and I get traction with the business (~3 months of reliable income), or the business fails and I'm forced to look for a job (based on my masters degree).

By staying at home you'll have far more time to work on making $$$ and will also have less stress as you won't need to waste time on errands. Moving out just to potentially get a bit more skirt isn't a good idea if your goal is to make bank. Your time to do so is limited given that energy levels deplete with age - your 20's are therefore a fantastic opportunity to make something of yourself financially.

I can understand that it may feel emasculating given your age, but a) it's only temporary, and b) don't give a fuck about societal norms which dictate what you should/should't be doing with your life. If you're trying to achieve something that 99% of the world's population will never bother to attempt, their opinions are invalid anyway.

[Lund]

(09-23-2018 01:40 AM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  

This is an extremely tough question that I have thought about A LOT over the past few months. But given your goals, I feel like I have answer for you, OP:

Are you seriously going to give away everything you have - free rent at your parents house, an enormous amount of free time to work on side projects, the ability to save a shit ton of money and pour that into investments, and the ability to have someone that runs all your errands for free too - just so you can bang a few chicks once every so often?

OP - you have the opportunity that so many people don't have. You can build an enormous business, you can save lots of money and invest in a house, you can spend dozens of hours a week thinking of ideas, reading books, and implementing with all the extra free time you have living with your parents.

Don't give it all up just so you can get laid a few times.

Chances are that if you move out of your parents house, you will be spending most of your time working on creating your own business and other side projects that you won't even have enough time to benefit from the fact that you live alone . That's the dilemma I'm in now. I live in the greatest city in the world - New York City - and it's a complete pussy paradise here. But I pay lots of rent and have no time to enjoy it because I'm working on building my own business, learning a language, writing some websites, and investing all of my savings. And the rest of my time is doing shit errands like buying groceries, cleaning my room, making food, doing laundry, paying bullshit bills, etc. I have no time to enjoy the fact that I don't live with my parents anymore. I would have been much more ahead in my side business and language learning if I would have stayed at home with my parents.

Forget getting laid. Make things happen. You're young. Cities will never go away. The moment you get yourself set financially and professionally, move out and you will be way better off than most others. If you want to continue getting experiences, then go out on a date once a week, explore the closest city to you, maybe join a few organizations near you, etc.

I'm not telling you to stay at home forever - but If I were you, then I would spend 1-2 years more at home and then move out once you're in a better position.

[blck]

(09-23-2018 02:55 AM)wi30 Wrote:  

(09-23-2018 01:40 AM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  

This is an extremely tough question that I have thought about A LOT over the past few months. But given your goals, I feel like I have answer for you, OP:

Are you seriously going to give away everything you have - free rent at your parents house, an enormous amount of free time to work on side projects, the ability to save a shit ton of money and pour that into investments, and the ability to have someone that runs all your errands for free too - just so you can bang a few chicks once every so often?

OP - you have the opportunity that so many people don't have. You can build an enormous business, you can save lots of money and invest in a house, you can spend dozens of hours a week thinking of ideas, reading books, and implementing with all the extra free time you have living with your parents.

Don't give it all up just so you can get laid a few times.

Chances are that if you move out of your parents house, you will be spending most of your time working on creating your own business and other side projects that you won't even have enough time to benefit from the fact that you live alone . That's the dilemma I'm in now. I live in the greatest city in the world - New York City - and it's a complete pussy paradise here. But I pay lots of rent and have no time to enjoy it because I'm working on building my own business, learning a language, writing some websites, and investing all of my savings. And the rest of my time is doing shit errands like buying groceries, cleaning my room, making food, doing laundry, paying bullshit bills, etc. I have no time to enjoy the fact that I don't live with my parents anymore. I would have been much more ahead in my side business and language learning if I would have stayed at home with my parents.

Forget getting laid. Make things happen. You're young. Cities will never go away. The moment you get yourself set financially and professionally, move out and you will be way better off than most others. If you want to continue getting experiences, then go out on a date once a week, explore the closest city to you, maybe join a few organizations near you, etc.

I'm not telling you to stay at home forever - but If I were you, then I would spend 1-2 years more at home and then move out once you're in a better position.

This is horrible advice.

I'm sorry that as a grown ass man you are so inconvenienced to buy groceries, do laundry, and pay your bills. Life must be pretty rough. Jesus Christ. None of us live on our own, work 60+ hours a week, or take care of ourselves.

+1 from me
That's the worst thing I read this year, millenials advising millenials about staying at parent's home to "work on some business", next it will be "buy a nintendo switch" and "soy is bringing me great gainz"...

OP should get out of there as fast as possible!

[yankeetravels]

(09-22-2018 10:44 PM)iop890 Wrote:  

How much do you save a week and how much could you save if you moved out?

Without going into too much detail, I save a couple thousand per month now. If I moved out, I would probably be limited to a few hundred.

(09-23-2018 01:48 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  

What about a compromise? Ask your parents if they'll let you bring girls home more often if you pitch in with rent. Which you should be doing anyways if you're in your mid-20's, but if you're paying nothing, then see if they can give you a bit more leeway if you pay rent.

Win-win.

Don't think this would work. It's not really about money with my parents, it's principle. They're not rich, but they rarely value money over what they believe is the right thing. In this case, they view it as a little disrespectful for me to bring girls back within their walls and them sleeping in a nearby room. I don't blame them in some sense, it's a really awkward situation. Plus, even if I did contribute a little money, I don't think it would ever truly be MY house in comparison to my folks.

(09-22-2018 12:46 PM)Seth_Rose Wrote:  

Based on your initial post and responses above, you need to create a long-term plan for what you want to achieve. You need to be brutally honest and unashamed of what you want. It sounds like you want to be location-independent, solidify your remote work, and then move to SEA or somewhere.

If that's the case, then you need to start planning. First step is to set a target date: When do you want to be moved out by?

Next step is to create financial targets. I'd recommend setting a monthly income goal and a total savings goal.

In the next year or so, or whenever you want to move out, you've hit your financial targets then it's time to go. You've been abroad before for a few months so it shouldn't be too hard for you to do it again!

But I would not be in a rush to move out of your parents house. You don't need to go next week or next month, again set a target date. Keep living at home, stack some cash, and you'll be set when the time comes.

Again, not gonna go into details, but in the back of my mind, I do have a date and number in mind for my savings account that I have thought about for at least a few months, barring unforeseen circumstances. I guess I'm just a bit concerned I'm going to get too comfortable with savings and chores basically taken care of right now. Really, this post is more about if I should move that date up by a year or so to get more independence and social life opportunity for my 20s. Not to mention almost certainly a more active sex life.

(09-23-2018 01:40 AM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  

This is an extremely tough question that I have thought about A LOT over the past few months. But given your goals, I feel like I have answer for you, OP:

Are you seriously going to give away everything you have - free rent at your parents house, an enormous amount of free time to work on side projects, the ability to save a shit ton of money and pour that into investments, and the ability to have someone that runs all your errands for free too - just so you can bang a few chicks once every so often?

OP - you have the opportunity that so many people don't have. You can build an enormous business, you can save lots of money and invest in a house, you can spend dozens of hours a week thinking of ideas, reading books, and implementing with all the extra free time you have living with your parents.

Don't give it all up just so you can get laid a few times.

Chances are that if you move out of your parents house, you will be spending most of your time working on creating your own business and other side projects that you won't even have enough time to benefit from the fact that you live alone . That's the dilemma I'm in now. I live in the greatest city in the world - New York City - and it's a complete pussy paradise here. But I pay lots of rent and have no time to enjoy it because I'm working on building my own business, learning a language, writing some websites, and investing all of my savings. And the rest of my time is doing shit errands like buying groceries, cleaning my room, making food, doing laundry, paying bullshit bills, etc. I have no time to enjoy the fact that I don't live with my parents anymore. I would have been much more ahead in my side business and language learning if I would have stayed at home with my parents.

Forget getting laid. Make things happen. You're young. Cities will never go away. The moment you get yourself set financially and professionally, move out and you will be way better off than most others. If you want to continue getting experiences, then go out on a date once a week, explore the closest city to you, maybe join a few organizations near you, etc.

I'm not telling you to stay at home forever - but If I were you, then I would spend 1-2 years more at home and then move out once you're in a better position.

You really hit some deep points for me. I appreciate your reply. In the back of my mind, I feel like I almost have too good of a situation right now outside of sex to give up. In a way, it could be a good life lesson that pussy isn't everything. If I'm being honest, I'm getting less satisfaction recently as is with casual sex, but yet I'm still motivated whenever I go into a bigger city and see a lot of attractive girls walking around.

But yet, I am afraid of falling into the trap of getting too comfortable with my situation. First world problem, but watching a Jordan Peterson video on parents being like "we'll take care of everything for you, just never leave" really got to me. Because that's my current situation and my parents are the type of people, good or bad, that would do everything for me no matter what. They have already bailed me out of one or two very serious situations on top of supporting me. So, I know when the day comes, I have to be assertive about my independence, because my parents will want me around and are probably afraid to fully let go of their last child. But, it will (at least in my belief) be partially for their benefit too.

Back to what you said, I do have a city nearby as I've talked about great for day trips and nightlife. Just difficult logistics for pulling with girls that are not insanely down. I do hope if I stay home that this American city will still be a pro for dating life in my later 20's and early 30's, I don't want to lose it completely as an option. Also, your post is motivating me that much more to get my remote hustles in order. Good reminder of the chance I have to make something of myself no matter what I do. That's why I love this forum, it gives me a good charge once in a while to remember my long term goals and why I should have them.

[the Thing]

(09-23-2018 09:00 AM)blck Wrote:  

+1 from me
That's the worst thing I read this year, millenials advising millenials about staying at parent's home to "work on some business", next it will be "buy a nintendo switch" and "soy is bringing me great gainz"...

OP should get out of there as fast as possible!

Lol dude what? How is becoming financially independent and playing video games and eating soy even remotely related?!

[PolymathGuru]

You said that you live in a house. How big is the yard? You could live on the property but move out of the house if you consider building a shed and live in it like a mini apartment.

It might be tight but you could do fine with a 10'x10'(100' squared) or 12'x12'(144' squared) and have the height set at 10' or 12'. That will give you about 1,000 to 1,728 cubic feet to work with.

If you don't think it can be done, I would check this stuff out.

The space is here is much smaller than what I discussed and quite frankly I don't think they maximized the space they used. Making proper use of vertical space is critical.

If you really want me to, I can draft some autocad drawings.

[blck]

(09-23-2018 02:24 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

(09-23-2018 09:00 AM)blck Wrote:  

+1 from me
That's the worst thing I read this year, millenials advising millenials about staying at parent's home to "work on some business", next it will be "buy a nintendo switch" and "soy is bringing me great gainz"...

OP should get out of there as fast as possible!

Lol dude what? How is becoming financially independent and playing video games and eating soy even remotely related?!

I'm not surprised you don't see no relation but this relate exactly to what I've already talked about elsewhere:

(09-09-2018 04:10 PM)blck Wrote:  

With 35 being the time millenials get out of adolescence (i.e mom's house) you can say "Yep, 60 is the new 40"

It's not how you define your worth and self-esteem by being self-reliable in the face of hardship.
When you say "Financially independant" by still being at mom's house in his mid 20s, I hear "keep avoiding responsibilties by pretending to stack money" but I might be too old to put myself in millenials shoes or whatever name you give them...

That's typical bugman attitude but you'll measure how pathetic that is later...