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Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle
#1

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

For the last 3 years I've had no desire for a relationship. I saw the ideal situation to be living a "player" lifestyle, juggling multiple women and not being tied down. Living in NYC, settling down never sounded like a desirable option.

I'm 28 now, been traveling the world for the last 7 months (currently in Ukraine), and for the first time since I can remember, I'm craving a serious relationship and am bored of one night stands and shallow sex with mediocre women. Going to the club to pick up girls doesn't appeal to me because I'm not attracted to the type of trashy girls that go to clubs, smoke cigarettes, and whore themselves on the dance floor for validation while not even putting out and treating men like trash. I'm also not in the top 10% of looks where I can just easily and consistently clean up in the club or on Tinder.

Maybe I'm just jaded because I feel like the dream of having a rotation of quality women (ie. 8+) as friends with benefits that's sold to us is not actually realistic unless you're in the top 10% of attractive men, have some pipeline that constantly brings women into your life (eg. you work at a modeling agency or are a hot shot club promoter - that 9-5 IT job certainly won't bring any women into your life), or are a rock star / celebrity.

But also for the first time in my life I've gotten a taste of being in a relationship with what I'd consider a 9 (the type you'd never see at a nightclub), and for the first time I felt content and without any desire for other girls. When I'd walk down the street and see other beautiful women (they're everywhere here) I didn't feel like I was missing out or needed to approach them because I already had what I wanted. On the other hand when I'm walking down the street with a 6 or a 7 I can't help but constantly check out every other attractive girl and lust after them with a strong sense of jealousy - "I'd rather have a girl like that. Why am I settling with this girl?" I thought this was something I'd feel even if I was with a 9, but it wasn't the case - though to be fair we were only together for a month so perhaps I would've felt differently after 6-12 months, though I think that even if I did eventually feel that way it'd be at most a minor complaint in the context of my life - I'd rather devote my energy towards real goals like building a business and adding value to the world than finding yet another girl to fuck.

I've found cold-approach to be extremely time consuming and inefficient, and even when you get the bang, my experience has been that the possibility of it turning into a friends with benefits and getting repeat bangs (without it becoming a relationship) is actually very low. Most women don't seem to want "friends with benefits" and just want a relationship (my last bang told me "I'd be friends with benefits with Elon Musk. Otherwise it's not something me or any girl I know is interested in"). Putting in all this work of cold-approaching for what in all likelihood will amount to just one or maybe two bangs with a girl you probably don't really even connect with just doesn't feel like a good investment of time.

Of course if we're talking women in the 7 or below range, then sure I guess the player lifestyle is attainable. But I don't care about 7s anymore, I want 8+s. I'd rather be spending time with a girl whose looks I'm content with and could potentially see myself settling down with than f*cking a mediocre girl where the thought of accidentally getting her pregnant gives me suicidal thoughts. Hooking up with moderately attractive girls you've just met was fun at first, but now it's kind of "been there done that". In my experience the 8+s are exponentially harder and way more likely to be exclusively looking for relationships (unless they're golddiggers, which to me is no different than being a prostitute).

Of course game is necessary regardless of what you're looking for, but I think there's a tendency in this community to glorify this "player" lifestyle of having a rotation of hot girls that's not actually realistic unless you're a fucking Instagram celebrity like Dan Bilzarian, someone in the top 10% of looks who can clean up on Tinder / nightclubs, or devote so much time to game that it's practically a full-time job. For those of us without the gift of celebrity, model-like looks, and who'd rather not devote our lives to chasing pussy, being in a relationship with a hot girl seems like the better and more realistic option most conducive to a man's happiness and achieving one's goals. I guess all of us men need to go through that phase of trying to bang as many different girl's as possible, I just didn't expect to get tired of it so quickly.
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#2

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

All of your conclusions are ones I and many others here have also arrived at. Acting like a clown to impress trashy whores you don't like as people, in hopes that they'll let you put your dick in them, is a poor use of your energy, and not a path to fulfillment.

You want a good relationship with an attractive, loyal girl... so does everyone else. It's hard. You won't find anyone here who will tell you it isn't. Such girls are exceedingly rare to come by, and when you do find one, she has plenty of options besides you. You're correct that it's essentially a second full-time job to give yourself any shot at success. There's no shortcut. Those are the times we live in. For all the comforts and upsides or modern western life, the culture has made inter-gender relations an apocalyptic nightmare. Welcome to the struggle; you aren't alone.
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#3

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

I'm pretty sure most guys would give up game if they could get a relationship with a 9 that was loyal and not a basket case dude.

The problem is supply and demand and most of these women are too much in demand that they can't help but give in to the power of being lazy and therefore a shit partner because they don't need to be a person of virtue to have most guys scoff at their feet.

The reason why I choose the player lifestyle is because IMO a girl is never truly yours and if she finds a better opportunity she'll dump your ass. Then as your skills atrophy it's even harder to find a girl of equal or greater value.

Then again I know a few really attractive girls that pretty much stayed with the boyfriends they got 18-22. So maybe there's something to be said that the good ones get taken early. My first love was a basket case unfortunately though haha.
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#4

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

For me, it comes and goes.

Sometimes you want to try a relationship and see how it goes.
Sometimes you want to live the player lifestyle, go daygame/clubbing all the time and try to get as many FWBs as possible.
Sometimes you don't even want to date anymore and just take a break...

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."
- Heat

"That's the difference between you and me. You wanna lose small, I wanna win big."
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#5

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Excellent post as I find I resonate with all of your points. About 7 years in the game and I have amassed somewhere around 200 lays. I have mostly stopped my "cold approach pickup" phase as I'm sort of past it all. Like you said, it works great for fucking lots of mediocre club girls, but you need more for the elusive 9's. The amount of (really good) options a 9 has is astounding.

Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
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#6

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Find them young and lock them down, that's really it's the only way.

I've never seen a couple where the girl is really beautiful and the relationship is strong, who didn't meet by social circle. Maybe something to think about.

If a girl is beautiful and is not corrupted (young), you are not the only guy who noticed that. Most other guys know it too, but they are either too young themselves or too afraid of the taboo to act. Then the girl goes to college and become a slut.

In the few rare case where the girl meets a smart man who has it all and has the social access to be in a relationship with such a young girl, they usually stay together for a long long time and the guy, since he's smart, puts a ring on that before she goes all hoe. Most of the time though this is all in a traditional setting where she has all the social encouragement to not go all slut, or the guy successfully deep convert her since a young age.

BTW as everyone said this is the conclusion all players come down to. I don't think you can find a LTR girl through cold approaching. A girl who has that quality usually price herself out of being cold approached, or you must be in very exceptional circumstances (white guy shopping for asian girl for ex.)

Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
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#7

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

It's far more complicated than just finding a hot girl who is loyal and then hanging the game up.

Maybe this is just a phase and you should find an LTR for 6-12 months and by the end of it you will probably find a renewed interest in banging club sluts.

Get the new Roosh book and read the chapter on relationships.
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#8

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Quote: (09-16-2018 06:49 PM)Essence Wrote:  

For the last 3 years I've had no desire for a relationship. I saw the ideal situation to be living a "player" lifestyle, juggling multiple women and not being tied down. Living in NYC, settling down never sounded like a desirable option.

I'm 28 now, been traveling the world for the last 7 months (currently in Ukraine), and for the first time since I can remember, I'm craving a serious relationship and am bored of one night stands and shallow sex with mediocre women. Going to the club to pick up girls doesn't appeal to me because I'm not attracted to the type of trashy girls that go to clubs, smoke cigarettes, and whore themselves on the dance floor for validation while not even putting out and treating men like trash. I'm also not in the top 10% of looks where I can just easily and consistently clean up in the club or on Tinder.

Maybe I'm just jaded because I feel like the dream of having a rotation of quality women (ie. 8+) as friends with benefits that's sold to us is not actually realistic unless you're in the top 10% of attractive men, have some pipeline that constantly brings women into your life (eg. you work at a modeling agency or are a hot shot club promoter - that 9-5 IT job certainly won't bring any women into your life), or are a rock star / celebrity.

But also for the first time in my life I've gotten a taste of being in a relationship with what I'd consider a 9 (the type you'd never see at a nightclub), and for the first time I felt content and without any desire for other girls. When I'd walk down the street and see other beautiful women (they're everywhere here) I didn't feel like I was missing out or needed to approach them because I already had what I wanted. On the other hand when I'm walking down the street with a 6 or a 7 I can't help but constantly check out every other attractive girl and lust after them with a strong sense of jealousy - "I'd rather have a girl like that. Why am I settling with this girl?" I thought this was something I'd feel even if I was with a 9, but it wasn't the case - though to be fair we were only together for a month so perhaps I would've felt differently after 6-12 months, though I think that even if I did eventually feel that way it'd be at most a minor complaint in the context of my life - I'd rather devote my energy towards real goals like building a business and adding value to the world than finding yet another girl to fuck.

I've found cold-approach to be extremely time consuming and inefficient, and even when you get the bang, my experience has been that the possibility of it turning into a friends with benefits and getting repeat bangs (without it becoming a relationship) is actually very low. Most women don't seem to want "friends with benefits" and just want a relationship (my last bang told me "I'd be friends with benefits with Elon Musk. Otherwise it's not something me or any girl I know is interested in"). Putting in all this work of cold-approaching for what in all likelihood will amount to just one or maybe two bangs with a girl you probably don't really even connect with just doesn't feel like a good investment of time.

Of course if we're talking women in the 7 or below range, then sure I guess the player lifestyle is attainable. But I don't care about 7s anymore, I want 8+s. I'd rather be spending time with a girl whose looks I'm content with and could potentially see myself settling down with than f*cking a mediocre girl where the thought of accidentally getting her pregnant gives me suicidal thoughts. Hooking up with moderately attractive girls you've just met was fun at first, but now it's kind of "been there done that". In my experience the 8+s are exponentially harder and way more likely to be exclusively looking for relationships (unless they're golddiggers, which to me is no different than being a prostitute).

Of course game is necessary regardless of what you're looking for, but I think there's a tendency in this community to glorify this "player" lifestyle of having a rotation of hot girls that's not actually realistic unless you're a fucking Instagram celebrity like Dan Bilzarian, someone in the top 10% of looks who can clean up on Tinder / nightclubs, or devote so much time to game that it's practically a full-time job. For those of us without the gift of celebrity, model-like looks, and who'd rather not devote our lives to chasing pussy, being in a relationship with a hot girl seems like the better and more realistic option most conducive to a man's happiness and achieving one's goals. I guess all of us men need to go through that phase of trying to bang as many different girl's as possible, I just didn't expect to get tired of it so quickly.

No disrespect OP but the bolded statement is ludicrous. How do you know she would never be in a club, lounge or bar? Don't start assigning her virtuous character traits just because she's hot
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#9

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Shouldn't this be in the Newbie forum. Sob story and catching oneitis I hope isn't contagious. Why would a girl settle down with a globe trotter who is not putting roots and establish himself. Women go after men who don't get lazy.
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#10

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

It's normal to desire a relationship.

But you want to understand your reasons.
Is it just because you're getting lazy? Then no, don't give up, keep pushing. Is it because you really like the woman you're dating? Then yes, please stop. Get what you want, not what others tell you.

PS: cold approach alone isn't a good way to get the "player" lifestyle. Social circles and lifestyle are necessary too.
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#11

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Maybe I'm reading too deep into your post but I sense a little bit of frustration with losing what you saw as a quality chick. Since you said she was a 9 she probably pulled at your biology on a subconscious level and you're feeling the pain of loss. Not hardcore oneitis status, but where it makes you think of "what could've been" and paints the idea of a relationship with a rosy tint. Just speculating, could be wrong.

Everyone goes through seasons of life; sometimes I want to tear through a bunch of randos and then other times I want to invest in a solid chick that has my back. That said, I agree with a lot of your points. Seems like a lot guys run through a decent number of chicks and the get the urge to settle down for a multitude of reasons, be it convenience, desire to start a family, wanting to focus on other things, tired of chasing sluts, etc.

I really do understand your mental struggle. Mine is the struggle between settling for a good smart loyal girl who might not be a 9 in the looks department vs. thinking I can snag an 8-9 if I keep going. It's the paradox of choice, and technology such as smart phones and cheap easy travel has made it even worse. Back in our parents' day they didn't have a million options of their fingertips; they found someone IRL and "settled," although I feel like the world "settling" has negative connotations in the context of relationships/choosing mates. That's a topic for another time.

The hottest girl I've had a (mini)relationship with was a personal 9, and real stunner, but she was basket-case and mentally all over the place. She probably would've driven me insane. The girl I've been seeing lately is super solid, smart, loyal, focused on her health, all these really good qualities, and pretty damn cute, but I'm relatively young and I know my value so I'm hesitant to get into something more serious. I've pulled babes before and I can do it again. At the same time there's the fear of loss in the back of my mind that I will regret ditching her. Sometimes the babes aren't all they're cracked up to be; one of my best friends was dating a dimepiece, 80K followers on IG, has mingled with famous people, and all the bullshit he had to deal with really wore on his mind. Of course it went down in flames in a bad way. His story made my current main chick seem like a really quality girl. I guess there's no way to know, but with chicks it seems like you're damned if ya do, damned if ya don't.

Didn't really mean for this to be a TL;DR reply, but what you said is something I've thought about, so I had to ruminate a bit. At the end of the day we are both in a our mid-late 20's, personally I feel like as young men we have way more life to live and experiences to gain so it would be pretty dumb to settle down at this stage. I think by 35ish I'll be in that zone but you never know what's going to happen. Good luck
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#12

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Wait until you have moved past the honeymoon phase. Your girl will drop at least a point to you. Your eyes will start wandering at random chicks you see. Probably even chicks that aren't as attractive just because you crave something different.

That's the nature of it. You will either break up, move on with the relationship without the spark and let it slowly die or somehow find a way to bring it back. Either way the desire to seek something outside will get stronger.

It's not a battle of relationship vs. player. It's a battle of comfort and restrictions vs. freedom and loneliness. Most men need the comfort and relationships im their lives but still desire that ultimate freedom to do who and whatever they want whenever they want.

Come back and update us in 6 months-1 year.
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#13

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Quote: (09-17-2018 07:31 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Find them young and lock them down, that's really it's the only way.

I've never seen a couple where the girl is really beautiful and the relationship is strong, who didn't meet by social circle. Maybe something to think about.

If a girl is beautiful and is not corrupted (young), you are not the only guy who noticed that. Most other guys know it too, but they are either too young themselves or too afraid of the taboo to act. Then the girl goes to college and become a slut.

In the few rare case where the girl meets a smart man who has it all and has the social access to be in a relationship with such a young girl, they usually stay together for a long long time and the guy, since he's smart, puts a ring on that before she goes all hoe. Most of the time though this is all in a traditional setting where she has all the social encouragement to not go all slut, or the guy successfully deep convert her since a young age.

BTW as everyone said this is the conclusion all players come down to. I don't think you can find a LTR girl through cold approaching. A girl who has that quality usually price herself out of being cold approached, or you must be in very exceptional circumstances (white guy shopping for asian girl for ex.)

Sure, you can meet a girl while she's young and you're young too. I also know quite a few relationships like that. Seem to be stable relationships, with little risk of something going wrong. However, after 7 years of having sex with the same person, they face similar issues others face too.

I disagree with the notion that you can't meet relationship material off cold approach. Girls are still emotional and still love the concept of "narrative" that there is some "cool story" connected to how you met. I have friends who cold approached their chicks in exotic places like under a waterfall, at an airport etc. But I've also done it in simple places like a library using a pen and a sheet of paper for our conversation. Two of them were really well put together, never went to clubs and for sure were realtionship material, but I'm not looking for that so no chance of that happening regardless.

Girls still enjoy being approached, but many of them despise the idea of a guy needingt to have multiple drinks and 4 friends at the venue just to muster of the courage to say "hello" and be himself.
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#14

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

I have always been LTR guy and recently have been even engaged to one girl. She wasn´t 10, but was looking very decent(slim tall russian-type girl). She had very traditional views on life and we were about to start a family soon. But it has ended because of my desire for other women.
I came to conclusion, then if she couldn´t keep me away from this, then nobody else can. Of course I can find new and maybe more beautiful girl, but in the end, I think it would be the same.
I finally took over the feeling of loneliness and now I truly enjoy my freedom. I do whatever I want to do, don´t waste a minute of my life and I´m raising my notches count.
But I know, that I am slowly but very surely heading towards new LTR. I don´t know if it´s gonna be in few months or 2 years, but I think, that my nature is like this. I don´t want to be wandering through life alone forever.

The question is, what could prevent me from not keeping the relationship together? I guess, it´s going to be ultimate desire for starting and keeping the family.

My current approach is to have fun with dating apps girls and bar girls, while look for the best girls on the street. My social circle is to small, so I don´t have any other option. But most imporantly, I am convinced, that social-circle game could lead you to chosing lower level girl, then you actually desire. On the streets I want to approach only girls who look enough good to be considered as LTR.



Generally, I think that the most of the guys is doing subconsciously the same. Only the moment of settling down is different. Some guys settle down on first occasion, because they don´t have/don´t know they have any other option and some guys settle down later, when they feel it´s the right time. But everybody is probably heading towards that.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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#15

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

True that I was still in the honeymoon phase so I'm probably romanticizing it, and I wouldn't deny that the sex would inevitably get boring after a year and then I'd start to crave some variety. I've never been in a long-term relationship with a girl I was so attracted to that I'd seriously be open to marrying so I can't meaningfully comment on what it's like and don't have the answers, hence my interest in what people more experienced than me have to say.

I think part of what spurred me to even write this post is that I'm in Ukraine and it seems to be way more of a traditional relationship-oriented culture with hookups and one night stands being very rare. I had just read this article "The Land Where The Player Comes To Die" with similar sentiments that really resonated with me: https://mavericktraveler.com/the-land-wh...es-to-die/ (though this guy also seems to be in a honeymoon phase with some girl)

I never craved a relationship in NYC because it doesn't seem like anyone else does, whereas in Ukraine it seems that all the (hot) women are exclusively looking for relationships. In the past I thought the latter might've been more boring, but right now it seems more desirable to me - assuming of course the woman is so attractive that I don't feel like I could easily do better (which paradoxically makes her harder to lock down). Also I'll be upfront in saying that I'm at a phase where I'm a bit burned out from game (traveling and banging mediocre sluts does get old) and want to focus my energy on something more productive as I'm currently not where I want to be at income-wise. Having a steady LTR is much more conducive to me being productive and happy than being a lone wolf cold approaching all the time.

Yes landing the 9+ or even 8+ is tough without some special access. Here it seems that the hot ones get married young (unsurprisingly), probably through social circle. And 8+s on social media live in a complete bubble where they're spoiled beyond belief with ungodly amounts of attention.

> "cold approach alone isn't a good way to get the "player" lifestyle. Social circles and lifestyle are necessary too."

100%. I'm at a point now where I'd prefer to focus on the latter two.
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#16

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

For a girl out there, you’re the best that she can get; you just have to make sure your value is high enough to get the kind of girl you want, to see you as the best she can get.

Get to work and improve. Become emotionally stronger, socially dominant, make more money, become a leader of men, and you’ll have plenty to choose from. If you can’t do that then honestly you don’t deserve to reproduce with a top notch woman: that’s evolution and natural selection in the works.

Get your value as high as you can get it then take the best you can get.

The player lifestyle should be mostly for young men that have no wealth or power yet, who have a strong desire to bang a lot of women while they build up that wealth. It’s a rite of passage, not a life’s goal.
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#17

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Quote: (09-17-2018 07:31 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

I've never seen a couple where the girl is really beautiful and the relationship is strong, who didn't meet by social circle. Maybe something to think about.

Agreed.
I will preface what I'm going to say next with a disclaimer: Cold approach takes massive amounts of courage and I have insane respect for the few men who really hit the pavement and cold approach and get results. I myself amassed a triple-digit notch count with the first 100 or so lays being almost exclusively from cold approach. It's not for your average Joe, it takes an exceptional man to go through the raw amount of effort needed to start getting good at cold approach. So I'm not one to shit on cold approaching.

Now that I got that out of the way, I would like to say this: All of the guys that I know that are dating their current girlfriends (I'm only taking about the really hot girls) have met their girl through social circle. All of the guys I know that are good with women are "naturals" that couldn't cold approach to save their own life (unless they got blackout drunk first). I know a handful of guys from the "game scene" that get decent results, but it's nothing in comparison to my "normal" / "natural" friends who still fuck much hotter girls with 5% of the effort.

Mainstream social conditioning makes it so that learning pickup / game is "weird" and "creepy." Obviously, we can all write up an intelligent response that logically proves that is bullshit and learning game is the most masculine and enhancing thing a man can do with his life. But social conditioning doesn't care. Aimlessly wandering around a shopping mall for hours at a time looking for "sets" to approach seems pathetic to your average person. They don't understand the nuances behind it. I'm not saying game involves wandering around a mall for hours a day but I'm sure you all get my point.I'm also wording it in a negative way to again help get the point across a little bit.

You wanna know why my natural friends don't go day gaming? Well for starters, I could say it's because they are total pussies and way too terrified to even think about doing something like that (especially if sober). And that is totally true. But another, equally true, answer I can give is this: they don't have to.
Your average alpha / natural has women throwing themselves at his feet. Girls in their social circles all want him and he has a fling / relationship with most of the hotties in his circle. Chad Thundercock doesn't need to cold approach. It would be weird for him because he already has so many options. And I think on a certain level girls are all aware of this. Which is why the 9's will maybe be less inclined to date a cold approaching pickup artist.

Again, I'm not here to shit on game or on cold approach. I've been a member of this forum since 2014 and I have grown a lot since then. Circa 2014 I was that "creepy" cold approaching monster. But I also fucked a lot of good looking girls. BUT, I also put in A LOT of work. Going out 5-7 nights a week. I have now found a better stride as my "social IQ" is now higher (thanks to all that cold approaching giving me more experience being with an interacting with hot girls) and I am now broken into social circles where hot girls are all around us and I am now myself being the one that is pursued from time to time which is a welcome break from always going out hunting and chasing every single night. I am getting much fewer new notches per month but the quality is astronomically higher and I'm actually retaining more girls and keeping them around in my life / social circle as opposed to having a one-night stand never talk to me the next day.

Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
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#18

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

I think that a lot of guys speak exclusively about one type of game.
But each of the types has it´s advantages and disadvantages, but they don´t exclude each other.
Social circle is the easiest, but it´s not game at all. You just take what it brings you. But if you rely only on your social circle, it can also mean, that you will have to settle with not so good girl. Think of all the handsome guys you meet on the street with not very good girls, they just took what was brought to them. On the other hand, these relationships have biggest chance for success.
And at the end, who does have 9s and 10 in their social circle? Nobody from normal people group.

Recently I have been thinking about this in connection with my friends. If I take in consideration those with highest social market value and the most attractive to girls, they are under their real options. All of them date bangable, but not datable girls. And what´s even worse, the girls are mostly those, who have make less effort in those relationships. Why? Because they just take, what life brings them in their social circles.
On the other hand, my ex-fiancee I talked about at previous post was also from wider social circle. My friend was dating a girl and she was the best friend of this girl.

Yesterday I have been for a coffee with girl I approached at the bus stop last weekend and we were actually talking about this. She told me, that this hasn´t happened for the first time, but she always considered this being weird, because she just doesn´t know anything about the person who approach her. She said that she would only date someone from her social circle. But she said she felt some kind of security from me. She might be lying, but that doesn´t matter. She looks very femine and I bet you can´t meet her at the club.
The most of the girls have it probably the same. But the same it´s on dating apps. Girls don´t automatically go out with you. Both street and online, you have to build enough comfort in them.

Each girl income stream has it´s advantages and disadvantages and each of them can offer you something else. If you focus only on one, you will miss the rest (when you go out every night, you won´t meet femine girl for longterm date).
Getting a girl worth LTR isn´t something that can be done purposely, but it rather comes accidentally (you must be at right time, at right place and most importantly, the girl has to be at right emotional state and life phase).
My answer is to meet lower quality girls, because it´s just fun to have girls around, while waiting and intentionally go for the chance of meeting some really high quality girls, which could eventually end as mother of my children. And I don´t feel like I have to spend hours a day to meet some girls.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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#19

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Quote: (09-16-2018 07:50 PM)jacknap Wrote:  

IMO a girl is never truly yours and if she finds a better opportunity she'll dump your ass. Then as your skills atrophy it's even harder to find a girl of equal or greater value.

This... or you'll dump her ass.

As someone who's done both the relationship thing (longest was 10 years) and the F buddy thing (4 years on/off with one of them!), all I'll say is pretty much what jacknap said: NEVER LET YOUR SKILLS ATROPHY, whether in a LTR, Marriage or FWB scenario. There is no slacking off once you're in a relationship so don't think of it as some sort of end of drudgery... because you know what's worse than doing cold approach pickup every weekend? Having to hang out with your woman's family or moron friends every weekend when all you want to do is bang hot poon tang instead, or just have some time to yourself to do man shit.

...Yeah, cold approach sucks because it's like door to door sales. Try being more casual and indirect about cold approaching and it'll be more fun... do those approaches while doing other things that are already fun or just a part of your day, that way you won't be wasting so much time (social circle game goes here too!). If you pull a decent chick then great, if not, at least you had fun amusing yourself in the process.

Some other good posts in this thread, I'm going to read all of them now as a reminder not to slack off.
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#20

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Totally agree man , the ugliest chicks are one pump dumps but even then when you get a quality chick everything might not be all roses . I was seeing a solid 9 for a year ...but had a medical condition ( type 1 diabetes) ,excess baggage from an ex ...it was a rocky year then just figured it wasn't worth it . I only cheated on her once which is a record as other LTR's I cheat way more often. End of the day her personality was damaged...we talk occasionally but I moved on very fast and back into the game .
Conclusion is the hot ones normally have mental issues past or present, the ugly ones become clingy and you always want something of higher quality.
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#21

Relationship vs. "player" lifestyle

Have fun in monagashit....

Some people have an affinity for it. If you like melodrama and stagnation of personal growth then by all means. Cultural Love isn't unconditional/spiritual love...Cultural love is like heroin feels good in moment BUT think about it from 3rd person it is a facade and utter distraction.

Just got out a 3 year relationship...Yea liked/loved her BUT a total waste of time. On paper seemed good in actual experience worst than staying in talking to no one.

I'd rather die a virgin than be in a relationship

BUT that is just me no affinity...
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