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How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship
#1

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

I do not like making new posts but I tried to search one which could match the topic I wanted to talk about but couldn't find any.

So here goes the long post and there is a brief summary down:

I have a friend in my business program. He is a brown NYC born and bred guy whose ethnicity is originally Guyanese Indian.

As I started my business program, I was searching for guys who would be interested in game. He seemed one of them. Took him under my wing. We started gaming together along with another Mexican friend of mine.

I even got this guy laid through a girl I knew from SA. He is 26, which is almost 8 years younger than me, 5'9, and does gym regularly that he looks well built. He has a good social presence. He talks to girls well but was not able to pull quality. Also, once he gets little drunk, he gets too loud. So sometimes the girls would retreat.

Also twice, I pushed girls who were more interested in me towards him because he requested so and I was already fucking other girls at the time. However, both times he failed to close.

One fine day, early this year, he gets a bumble match out of the blue from a white Texas girl. I would say she is close to an 8. They meetup and get along well but she turns out be conservative and he is not able to kiss close. They start meeting regularly while he is also gaming with us. Finally they make out and slowly they progress toward everything except sex. Turns out the girl is a 23 year old virgin, according to him. Me and my Mexican friend are shocked because this girl goes alone with group of friends that include guys to weekend music festival trips and to vegas, and her clothing is completely non virgin like.

He is also confused about this but we tell him just to go along with it and enjoy while gaming other girls. I specifically tell him to maintain game with this girl. He does that and goes to Minneapois for his internship. Also before leaving for his internship, he agrees to hangout with me and my Mexican buddy, but when the day comes, doesnt answer his phone as he is with the white chick. We conclude he is getting beta for the white girl but laugh it out as she is hot and he is young. During the summer , he bangs few decent looking girls in Minneapolis while he talks over the phone to the White girl.

He comes back and next thing he tells me is that he is exclusive with the Texas girl. I am like wtf because I thought he wanted to be a player. So I think that they are now having sex and he really likes her. But no, she is still maintaining her V card, according to him. I don't say anything but realize that this guy either is lying big time or is totally betafied by her.

Still everything was cool till yesterday. It was the girl's birthday two days back and he was going to hang out with her yesterday. He texts me yesterday asking what I was doing for the night and I reply that I was trying to hit up some girls but was getting flaked. He tells me that he would be going out to a bar with the girl later in the night and invites me as I haven't met her yet. Possibly her friends might also come out. I tell him if I get flaked out then Ill surely come out.

Around 12, after getting nothing but flakes, I ask him if he is out. He mentions bar 1. I tell him okay, that I am coming over. He mentions that they would move to bar 2 in sometime. I tell him ok. While my Uber driver drops me off at bar 2, he texts they are at bar 3. I walk all the way across to bar 3 as its a little far away. I try to search for him there and then text him, but there is no response. I even call him but he cuts the phone. In all this time I finish a beer and even get a number from a 6 who opens me at the bar (funny incident reserved for another thread). Finally I get a text from him saying they are still at bar 2. I tell him I am coming. Go all the way there. Search for him . No sign. Text him. Again no response. Call him, but he cuts the phone again. I keep searching. Finally he responds they are towards the end of the bar. I search and search but there is no sign. I again ask him where he is. No response.

Around 1.40 AM he mentions they are at some side of the bar but they are about to leave. I ask him to wait and I am right by the entrance of the bar but again no sign of them. I even call him. He just texts me that they have taken an uber and left. This angers me and I text him what's going on and that he can tell me the truth. He sends a pic of him and his girl that was taken 45 mins earlier, saying that they were there and laughs it off which further pisses me off. He says he is dropping them off and heading home. I don't show my anger and just text him 'no worries, heading back too. Comeover for a beer' as I know once he would have dropped the chicks, my home would be on his way and many times he has come late to discuss game and our night outs before. But no response.

Two things:

One, I hate it when guys who are supposedly good friends do this. I don't think he was being genuine at all. I have been in his shoes, and I have always invited my buddies over and for some reason if they are unable to locate, then I'd make sure they do so even if I am enjoying my time with girls. I also recieve calls from buddies while I am with a girl. And of I am about to leave, Ill call asking where my buddy is. Its a very normal thing too. You want your buddy to come and have fun with you. If there is some issue and I do not want my buddy to there, then I would be honest even if a little blunt and tell so, explaining why. However, I always go with bros before hoes motto, though in a more mature manner ofcourse.

Second, Ill admit that I also do feel a little envious. His girl is the exact quality of girl that I have been trying for the past year to get but unable to do so. Even though I am slightly better looking than him face wise, and physically we both are almost the same though he is bit more built and taller but more importantly he is socially better. I am more of a lone wolf, and even when I try to be socially popular, I am unable to do so because of my own fuck ups. People who are acquaintances judge me too fast based on any negative hearsay or rumour. However that doesn't mean, I am not socially calibrated. I just get along better with red pill people than blue pill and red pill people are rare.

It infuriates me that he gets to show off this girl among our peers and further increase his SMV. Plus, the girl is educated, (doing her dental masters)white and catholic. Its already opening more doors for him both professionally and personally. I have seen few of the I bankers and consultant students who have girl friends invite him now to their parties. His Instagram is slowly taking off as he now gets to posts pics with this girl.

If I was in his shoes, I would be with the girl too, and let her increase my SMV and social circle. I would show her off everywhere: business school, undergrad areas of the university such as cafeterias, bars , instagram etc. But I would definitely be banging other girls on the side till this girl gives up her V card. And I would never go exclusive as he has. I love the game too much. Also, I would make sure that through this girl, my buddies also get hotter girls so that our social group gets bigger. Nor would I pull shenanigans like he did yesterday.

My question is, how do I deal with the friendship part. I was like an older bro to this guy and he does this. There should be an appropriate punishment where he understands he fucked up and he is becoming a selfish beta chode for the girl.

Additionally what should I do, to let the slight envy I have that he has got this supposed lottery ticket of a girl. Its slightly depressing because I do bust my ass a lot in improving my game and trying to get these kind of girls. Much more than him for sure. I guess I should just keep trying to improve and game but somewhere I am fucking up.

TL;DR a good young buddy/wingman has been pussy whipped by a supposed virgin 8 and now is doing beta things at the cost of friendship, although elevating his social status and SMV at same time that it is making me envious.
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#2

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

Quote: (09-09-2018 04:24 AM)bk19xsa Wrote:  

I do not like making new posts but I tried to search one which could match the topic I wanted to talk about but couldn't find any.

So here goes the long post and there is a brief summary down:

I have a friend in my business program. He is a brown NYC born and bred guy whose ethnicity is originally Guyanese Indian.

As I started my business program, I was searching for guys who would be interested in game. He seemed one of them. Took him under my wing. We started gaming together along with another Mexican friend of mine.

I even got this guy laid through a girl I knew from SA. He is 26, which is almost 8 years younger than me, 5'9, and does gym regularly that he looks well built. He has a good social presence. He talks to girls well but was not able to pull quality. Also, once he gets little drunk, he gets too loud. So sometimes the girls would retreat.

Also twice, I pushed girls who were more interested in me towards him because he requested so and I was already fucking other girls at the time. However, both times he failed to close.

One fine day, early this year, he gets a bumble match out of the blue from a white Texas girl. I would say she is close to an 8. They meetup and get along well but she turns out be conservative and he is not able to kiss close. They start meeting regularly while he is also gaming with us. Finally they make out and slowly they progress toward everything except sex. Turns out the girl is a 23 year old virgin, according to him. Me and my Mexican friend are shocked because this girl goes alone with group of friends that include guys to weekend music festival trips and to vegas, and her clothing is completely non virgin like.

He is also confused about this but we tell him just to go along with it and enjoy while gaming other girls. I specifically tell him to maintain game with this girl. He does that and goes to Minneapois for his internship. Also before leaving for his internship, he agrees to hangout with me and my Mexican buddy, but when the day comes, doesnt answer his phone as he is with the white chick. We conclude he is getting beta for the white girl but laugh it out as she is hot and he is young. During the summer , he bangs few decent looking girls in Minneapolis while he talks over the phone to the White girl.

He comes back and next thing he tells me is that he is exclusive with the Texas girl. I am like wtf because I thought he wanted to be a player. So I think that they are now having sex and he really likes her. But no, she is still maintaining her V card, according to him. I don't say anything but realize that this guy either is lying big time or is totally betafied by her.

Still everything was cool till yesterday. It was the girl's birthday two days back and he was going to hang out with her yesterday. He texts me yesterday asking what I was doing for the night and I reply that I was trying to hit up some girls but was getting flaked. He tells me that he would be going out to a bar with the girl later in the night and invites me as I haven't met her yet. Possibly her friends might also come out. I tell him if I get flaked out then Ill surely come out.

Around 12, after getting nothing but flakes, I ask him if he is out. He mentions bar 1. I tell him okay, that I am coming over. He mentions that they would move to bar 2 in sometime. I tell him ok. While my Uber driver drops me off at bar 2, he texts they are at bar 3. I walk all the way across to bar 3 as its a little far away. I try to search for him there and then text him, but there is no response. I even call him but he cuts the phone. In all this time I finish a beer and even get a number from a 6 who opens me at the bar (funny incident reserved for another thread). Finally I get a text from him saying they are still at bar 2. I tell him I am coming. Go all the way there. Search for him . No sign. Text him. Again no response. Call him, but he cuts the phone again. I keep searching. Finally he responds they are towards the end of the bar. I search and search but there is no sign. I again ask him where he is. No response.

Around 1.40 AM he mentions they are at some side of the bar but they are about to leave. I ask him to wait and I am right by the entrance of the bar but again no sign of them. I even call him. He just texts me that they have taken an uber and left. This angers me and I text him what's going on and that he can tell me the truth. He sends a pic of him and his girl that was taken 45 mins earlier, saying that they were there and laughs it off which further pisses me off. He says he is dropping them off and heading home. I don't show my anger and just text him 'no worries, heading back too. Comeover for a beer' as I know once he would have dropped the chicks, my home would be on his way and many times he has come late to discuss game and our night outs before. But no response.

Two things:

One, I hate it when guys who are supposedly good friends do this. I don't think he was being genuine at all. I have been in his shoes, and I have always invited my buddies over and for some reason if they are unable to locate, then I'd make sure they do so even if I am enjoying my time with girls. I also recieve calls from buddies while I am with a girl. And of I am about to leave, Ill call asking where my buddy is. Its a very normal thing too. You want your buddy to come and have fun with you. If there is some issue and I do not want my buddy to there, then I would be honest even if a little blunt and tell so, explaining why. However, I always go with bros before hoes motto, though in a more mature manner ofcourse.

Second, Ill admit that I also do feel a little envious. His girl is the exact quality of girl that I have been trying for the past year to get but unable to do so. Even though I am slightly better looking than him face wise, and physically we both are almost the same though he is bit more built and taller but more importantly he is socially better. I am more of a lone wolf, and even when I try to be socially popular, I am unable to do so because of my own fuck ups. People who are acquaintances judge me too fast based on any negative hearsay or rumour. However that doesn't mean, I am not socially calibrated. I just get along better with red pill people than blue pill and red pill people are rare.

It infuriates me that he gets to show off this girl among our peers and further increase his SMV. Plus, the girl is educated, (doing her dental masters)white and catholic. Its already opening more doors for him both professionally and personally. I have seen few of the I bankers and consultant students who have girl friends invite him now to their parties. His Instagram is slowly taking off as he now gets to posts pics with this girl.

If I was in his shoes, I would be with the girl too, and let her increase my SMV and social circle. I would show her off everywhere: business school, undergrad areas of the university such as cafeterias, bars , instagram etc. But I would definitely be banging other girls on the side till this girl gives up her V card. And I would never go exclusive as he has. I love the game too much. Also, I would make sure that through this girl, my buddies also get hotter girls so that our social group gets bigger. Nor would I pull shenanigans like he did yesterday.

My question is, how do I deal with the friendship part. I was like an older bro to this guy and he does this. There should be an appropriate punishment where he understands he fucked up and he is becoming a selfish beta chode for the girl.

Additionally what should I do, to let the slight envy I have that he has got this supposed lottery ticket of a girl. Its slightly depressing because I do bust my ass a lot in improving my game and trying to get these kind of girls. Much more than him for sure. I guess I should just keep trying to improve and game but somewhere I am fucking up.

TL;DR a good young buddy/wingman has been pussy whipped by a supposed virgin 8 and now is doing beta things at the cost of friendship, although elevating his social status and SMV at same time that it is making me envious.

Look you're a young man in one of the biggest cities in the world. I'd cut your losses with this guy and just reduce him to acquaintance status. He is already doing that with you.

I'm familiar with brown culture (even some of the nuances of the Guyanese flavor of Indian), NY culture, banker culture, etc. etc. Stop sweating it. This guy isn't some head honcho on Wall Street or Russell Peters or some shit like that lollll. And transplants like the young Texas chick float in & out of the city all the time for various reasons. Sometimes that chaos theory, luck of the draw type shit does pan out. But remember, he did put "game" aside & sex aside when he decided that she oughtta preserve her V-card. He might be using her at this point for all the other advantages. Maybe he is letting her marinate for a while in case she is "the one" & he wants to wife her up some day. Who the fuck knows & quite frankly who the fuck cares. You won't care if you gradually start writing this guy off. You're in NY motherfucking C, so I'd hurry the fuck up & move on without him. Way more native & transplant pussy to fuck, and so many other more worthy broskis that you can kick it with instead.
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#3

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

Sometime I go to bars and take my close friends, one is deaf and the other is 83 years old. Sometimes a woman will ask me in private, "Are these people with you? Why" and I look at them and respond "Because they are reliable friends and they are good people."

And they are. For the past 15 years they have been there whenever I needed them and I know they always will and I will be there for them regardless of the piece of ass in front of me.

Never choose your friends based on who is good to game with, or party with. Base your friends on who is going to be there for you. Their ethnicity, short, fat, ugly, bald, education, or political beliefs is irrelevant.

Your friend isn't going to change anytime soon. Find a new friend. That's my advice.
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#4

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

1- I think youre trolling.

2- In case youre not, youre both shitty friends. Half your post is you saying how youre jealous that hes showing her off and "increasing his SMV". Youre both far from being anything i would consider a bro and youre stuck in petty thoughts. But i still think 1- is most likely.
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#5

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

@ Jordy, thanks! Though the city is Houston. He is from NYC and attending business school here with me. You are right, way more genuine guys to make friends with, as Houston is a big city as well. Its just unfortunate because I didn't expect that from him. We would discuss game all the time and try to hit up girls. Plus, since I spend a lot more time at the business school, he was one of the few good close friends from the program.

@ Linux, thanks man, I agree its worth having reliable friends. I am that kind of a person. Even when I was hit up by the 6 while searching for my friend, I could have pursued her but I got the number and bailed as I cared more for meeting up with my friend.

@ Beirut, Jesus. Ofcourse I am trolling man at troll level buzillion shazillion Fazillion!

More seriously, I hate the fact that I am envious because you are right as its a shitty thing for a guy to have for his buddy. Infact, learning to control these feelings and not let them get to me is also what I was trying to get help on through this post. I guess it is a natural feeling, considering that I helped him out in game and worked hard at game my self over the year to get the kind of chick he has now and how he is benefiting from her. It does make me a little depressed and my solution is to push harder at game, trying to improve myself as much as I can but it starts consuming me and my time and I feel I am going wrong somewhere.

However, I do keep the petty feelings inside or try to overcome them. I definitely do not act petty. I could have yesterday, but I still invited him for a beer. He was the one who was acting shitty. This is the same guy, when I was hanging with multiple girls, I brought him into my circle. I am older than him and I have given him a lot of advice using my own life experiences and also from what I learn from this forum.
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#6

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

Sounds like you did stuff for him and you expect better treatment in return. That's reasonable, but when you do stuff for people, you have to expect you'll get nothing in return. You do it for the joy of doing it - any return of the favor is an unexpected gift.

It also sounds like this guy is in your head and you're jealous of him. That's a bad place to be. If you left out the male pronouns I'd think you were talking about a chick who ghosted you. Go out and make better friends.
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#7

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

@Alpone. I am absolutely of your philosophy man. I don't expect anything return. Return behavior can be from reciprocating to nothing and I am fine with that. But not with shitty behavior which he displayed yesterday.

Also, as much as it seems he is in my head, I am realizing it is more his chick or rather her type of chick who is in my head: Tall, slim, Southern belle with a great cowgirl ass, decently educated, conservative religious and 'supposedly virgin' at 23. That is the kind of chick (not necessarily a virgin, but ofcourse one with less dick count) I have been aiming to get as soon as my MBA started in Texas.

For example, today I had gone to see a play. I had to as per an elective I am taking and plus I really enjoy theater. Tried to get chicks to go with me as the tickets were real cheap on student discount but couldn't. Went there alone. Mostly old people. In comes a couple who might be in their 50s and following them is their daughter who is exactly like the Southern type of girl that I described earlier. She was wearing a lovely fall season floral maroon outfit ending just slightly above her knees, innocent blue eyes, soft light red lips and straight blonde hair. Her parents sat infront of me and they seemed nice as they smiled at me and gave a pleasant vibe. The chick though was standing confused at the aisle. Apparently her seat was not with her parents and as fate would have it, her seat was right next to mine. She came and sat down next to me giving me the warmest of warm smiles, with her perfect teeth. We were the two young people sitting right between oldies. I was like what are the odds! I decided I had to talk to her.

I was dressed sharp, wearing a sport coat. During the intermission, once her parents went out, I talked to her. Turned out she was finishing up highschool and already enrolled at a local college. I was disappointed. I realized, even though she seemed 18 above, the setting was not right to get her number, with her parents lurking around and also I had already mentioned to her that I am doing my MBA which indirectly told her I am older. If she was even a junior at college then I would have gone for number close regardless of her parents or the setting. But we ended up talking more about the play and once the play ended we all smiled and said our goodbyes.

I think that is all there is. Its about the kind of girl I want. I have banged around 60 and above girls since my MBA started but almost all have been low quality girls either in terms of the WB scale or in terms of personality. That is probably why it seems I have envious feelings towards my friend.

I will probably start a game log, so that I improve not only my game but also improve the mental areas where I don't let things like this get to me.
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#8

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

Eh i been through it a few years back.homie got a gf (she ws a bitch and he was a sucka for her) .anyway they got together and he fell off the face of the planet.i was still trying for a while to get together to hang out but something clicked in my head that said if he wanted to hang out ,he’d pick up the phone and make shit happen because he did it before.on the other side of that i could be going out myself and meeting new friends and do other shit . Which I ultimately did.

My advice to you is to let him fly man. Let him be with his girlfriend n shit and you go out and do some hobbies n meet new homies to hang out with.when he’s ready to hangout again (it might be some years ) he’ll hit up if you two were tight before the chick. But then again that might not happen so let the chips fall where they may.
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#9

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

@SU agree man.

Just a recent update, he messaged me back saying it was his bad and that he was crazy drunk and that he had already left before I even came.

At least he is owning it but like you have said SU, he was purposely not answering the phone and has done it a few times before. This incident makes him unreliable. I played normal to his latest message and replied back to him that I sort of figured it out and then changed the topic to game. I will hangout with him but at the same time just treat him as unreliable and not go the extra step for him till he really proves himself, whilst making new genuine friends.
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#10

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

BK not to call you out, but you don't sound like the most genuine of friends yourself. If you were really boys, you'd tell him directly that you're annoyed/pissed with him. Even if it sounds like a broad thing to do, it's really not. Real friends tell each other the truth no matter what the circumstances. I've had friends give me shit once or twice for the way I go about my business with women (in other terms trying casual hookups while they're third wheel) but have also told friends when I think they're going a little too far with it with me as third wheel.

It's an awkward position to be in, but truthfully, you may not have been as close with him as you think. When I dated my ex, I spent a ton of time with her and sacrificed close dynamics with some friends because of it. Spending time with her basically forced me to spend less time with some other friends. I had about 10 guy friends I considered close before going out with her, some were newer or getting by for college, so basically when I started going out with my ex, I cut back on my time with about 3 of those friends who I originally hung out with more for campus social circle purposes but spent a lot of time with.

What might've happened is if he was new from NYC, he might've stuck with you more at first to try to establish social circle to settle in. Once he got the girlfriend, maybe he realized that's why you guys were spending time together and just felt more natural with the girl. It happens, I'd suggest cutting your losses like you seem to be doing. Basically don't go out of your way until he proves otherwise that this isn't how he feels. Because even when I was spending time with my ex, I did not cut out the friends I was closest with. Really just the outliers.

As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be a player.

2018 New Orleans Datasheet
New Jersey State Datasheet
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#11

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

Hello , in response to linux , I am deaf, semi- dumb and blind with one arm and 83.5 years old but like to go to bars and very loyal. My only problems is I cannot pick up my beer with my other hand. linux , can you to help me
drink my beer as you run your game? Thank you some much........really your posts are funny
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#12

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

OP you had him under your wing because it made you feel important to be a mentor and it gave you a wing on demand.

Sure we all have a tiny bit of jealousy when i see someone with a hot girl but the fact that feeling was so strong as to surface so prominently in your post goes well beyond that.

Ive met rooshers who i genuinely root for to score after a few days of knowing them. You both were in this friendship for selfish reasons.
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#13

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

I think the OP is not trolling. I've known several guys like that "friend". Once you care about such a guy and build a friendship with him, it's hard to see him for who he really is - a selfish asshole who uses you as a social crutch, and discards you once he rises to your level. I know of several stories where a socially inept/introverted/not cool guy would be mentored by a cooler guy, only to dispose of the cooler guy once he got accepted into society. It happens.

Seriously, only the part with not responding to OP's calls and texts, then sending messages that he's at Bars 2 and 3 while he's not, is a reason for a fucking fist to the head, or a downright friendship end. What the fuck?! You know who behaves like that? People who don't want to see you, because they don't like you (anymore), but are too much of a pussy to openly reject you.

In my opinion, this is not even about fucking girls.
First of all, bros before hoes. If a guy doesn't follow that rule, he may as well fuck off.
Secondly, the OP is not a fucking leper or an incel. He wouldn't have sabotaged the "friend" in any way if he came to meet them (the "friend" might have feared that the OP would steal his girl, but male friends are supposed to be honorable and not do such shit).
Thirdly - yeah, welcome to life. You took a guy under your wing, and now he has betrayed you. That's fucked up shit, but it happens, and is surely a good experience for the future.

The guy has had zero reasons for such retarded behavior - just ignore him and find new friends.
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#14

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

Ditching friends for an opportunity at pussy is one thing.

Ditching friendship alltogether for it is another.

These guys were never your friends.

Thankfully I ditched those "friends" by the end of HS/college.
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#15

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

get better friends
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#16

How to handle friends who get attached to pussy and ditch friendship

These kind of people will always betray you one needs friends who have your back like a block of steel.
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