[Coffee]

(10-23-2018 03:44 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

Yesterday I texted her "so, you ready for that date yet." She responded with a "no thank you," then a lengthy paragraph about a place I might like to work (I had previously mentioned getting bored at my job). She seems to want to spend time with me, but is opposed to dating.

We're getting coffee tomorrow. I really don't give a crap where this ends up, but I would like to do something other than tell her to fuck off. Do I act like the coffee is a date and just try to escalate? Help me turn this into a learning experience.

It sounds like it's more effort than it's worth to me. See what she talks about and if she gives any indication of interest in you beyond just hanging out as friends.

If she's opposed to dating, I'd assume she either has her eyes set on another guy and wants to use you as a backup male or just wants to fuck you at most. Or at the very least just likes male attention.

See how it pans out in other words. You'll know if it's worth your time soon enough.

[RatInTheWoods]

Time waster, attention whore.

Made it clear she's not going to bang you, still wants to talk and hang out with you.

There must be other women in the world who haven't closed the door on you? How about talking, spending time and thinking about them instead?

[Professor When]

(10-23-2018 05:36 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Time waster, attention whore.

Made it clear she's not going to bang you, still wants to talk and hang out with you.

There must be other women in the world who haven't closed the door on you? How about talking, spending time and thinking about them instead?

There really aren't. All I seem to do is walk away and it's getting boring. It's not like I have any attachment to this girl beyond the fact that she's willing to interact with me without (overtly) demanding something. Grabbing a coffee and walking around campus isn't a huge investment, and it's not like I'm going to pay for her shit. I'd just really like a chance to try anything and want some guidance.

I get the feeling that some of the comments I get are given with the idea that I would allow myself to become an emotional tampon to some bitch. I'm sure this is true for a lot of guys in my position, but that has honestly never been a problem for me. I've never really had women try to take advantage of me, mostly they just ignore me or get ignored by me. I'm not full MGTOW just yet, but it seems that way. There must be a middle ground between beta orbiter and a bang.

So far my interaction with this girl has been chatting during mandatory student events for a few hours and maybe a dozen texts back and forth. Would your advice change if I told you that I'd have no problem walking away as soon as it becomes an imposition on me?

[Trumps Intern]

I think your only chance (and it will only work for a short term thing) is to attempt to make her jealous...at this point it sounds like she's playing you, because if she wanted something she would have offered you an opportunity by now. Essentially seems like she just wants you around for attention and validation, maybe boredom, even. You're in a bad position and it doesn't seem like it will end well. What you should try to do is pivot from her to one of her friends.

[Mess O.]

I think one of the hardest lessons for most of us in Game is to simply know when the play is blown dead, forget about her & move the fuck on.

[Professor When]

(10-24-2018 01:01 AM)Trumps Intern Wrote:  

I think your only chance (and it will only work for a short term thing) is to attempt to make her jealous...at this point it sounds like she's playing you, because if she wanted something she would have offered you an opportunity by now. Essentially seems like she just wants you around for attention and validation, maybe boredom, even. You're in a bad position and it doesn't seem like it will end well. What you should try to do is pivot from her to one of her friends.

This sounds good. Obviously you cannot try to make a pass at her friends if you tell every woman that isn't sucking your dick to fuck off. So what do I do here?

[questor70]

(10-23-2018 11:55 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

...chatting during mandatory student events for a few hours

One thing I don't often see discussed in relation to young inexperienced guys being thrown into the friendzone is how the young view time. Time is not a precious commodity to the young because the rest of your life feels infinitely vast. While it's true young guys are naive and misguided (I definitely was) you also have to value your own time enough in order to be ruthless enough to get what you want.

Point being that "a few hours" may seem inconsequential to you but feels like a collossal waste to an older man. The older you get the more you'll feel compelled to make shrewder decisions about how you spend your time.

Just remember that any time you spend orbiting a girl who won't put out is time you could have spent elsewhere, not necessarily chasing other girls, but doing something else that's meaningful or adds value.

I'm not saying you're as bad as I was, but I wasted my entire college stay orbiting one chick I wanted to bang. Frankly, I don't recall anything interesting from all those hours hanging out with her. I barely remember anything other than the fact she was addicted to coffee and thought Keanu Reeves was hot in Point Break. The only value that time had was me staring at her and fantacizing about what I wanted to do to her. So it was hardly a friendship, really.

[Anchor Man]

I know this would be against most of the advice you got over here .
We need first to define what is beta orbit and how sever it is . In this forum, will always call newbie "oh you were her bet a orbit " "Oh, she is attention whore " Oh do not waste your time "

Beta orbit is a guy with zero game who hangs around the girl and does her tons of favors hoping you will get laid .
I have female friends and do them favor ( not big ones ), but I know and the know I am not trying to sleep with them .

1-First let me ask you. Does this girl know you well ? She knows how cool you are,..etc. If not, then give her chance to know you she might change her mind. I said a chance, not a semester !

2- Do you have a social circle ? If not, she could be the start of your circle

3- Male-Female can be friends and acquaintances. You define the the relation boundaries : no favors, no non-stop complaining ,..etc,

4- Your time . I am sure most of us spent tons of time on social media and non sense stuff. Cut this time down and then you can "waste" time on this chick .


There are two styles of game :

1 Yes girls >>> Don't Fuck up game >>> Not so much room to grow
2- Maybe girls >>>> Convert them to yes >>> This is where and how you learn .

The game in its core is converting the "maybe" girls into yes.
If you went to the gym and lift the same weight everyday, would you get bigger ?

[Professor When]

(10-24-2018 09:17 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(10-23-2018 11:55 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

...chatting during mandatory student events for a few hours

One thing I don't often see discussed in relation to young inexperienced guys being thrown into the friendzone is how the young view time. Time is not a precious commodity to the young because the rest of your life feels infinitely vast. While it's true young guys are naive and misguided (I definitely was) you also have to value your own time enough in order to be ruthless enough to get what you want.

Point being that "a few hours" may seem inconsequential to you but feels like a collossal waste to an older man. The older you get the more you'll feel compelled to make shrewder decisions about how you spend your time.

Just remember that any time you spend orbiting a girl who won't put out is time you could have spent elsewhere, not necessarily chasing other girls, but doing something else that's meaningful or adds value.

I'm not saying you're as bad as I was, but I wasted my entire college stay orbiting one chick I wanted to bang. Frankly, I don't recall anything interesting from all those hours hanging out with her. I barely remember anything other than the fact she was addicted to coffee and thought Keanu Reeves was hot in Point Break. The only value that time had was me staring at her and fantacizing about what I wanted to do to her. So it was hardly a friendship, really.

This is a really good point, but that time was wasted for me anyway. I had to be at those events (they even took attendance). I'm not at the point where I want to dedicate that time to night gaming. I tried that a few times and nothing felt like a bigger waste of time than bouncing around bars for hours at a time not getting drunk and talking to random, bitchy women. This is what I have to work with right now.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

I know this would be against most of the advice you got over here .
We need first to define what is beta orbit and how sever it is . In this forum, will always call newbie "oh you were her bet a orbit " "Oh, she is attention whore " Oh do not waste your time "

Beta orbit is a guy with zero game who hangs around the girl and does her tons of favors hoping you will get laid .
I have female friends and do them favor ( not big ones ), but I know and the know I am not trying to sleep with them .

Yeah, this never happens to me. Sometimes I wish a girl would try to manipulate me this way so I can tell her to fuck off. When I ghost them they don't even bother trying to manipulate me. I am literally invisible to them unless I am under their noses.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

1-First let me ask you. Does this girl know you well ? She knows how cool you are,..etc. If not, then give her chance to know you she might change her mind. I said a chance, not a semester !

No, I spent part of an afternoon with her, she freaked out on me so I ghosted her. A month later she texted me an apology. A month after that I asked her out again. The only reason I recognized her number was that she's the only person I know that texts in the form of novels.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

2- Do you have a social circle ? If not, she could be the start of your circle

I have no social circle at the college.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

3- Male-Female can be friends and acquaintances. You define the the relation boundaries : no favors, no non-stop complaining ,..etc,

I don't know what it's like for other people, but women never solicit me for favors/preferential treatment or to emotional tampon for them. We'll see how it goes this afternoon.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

4- Your time . I am sure most of us spent tons of time on social media and non sense stuff. Cut this time down and then you can "waste" time on this chick .

I don't use social media. Other than a facebook page with 8 friends that we use to coordinate D&D games.

[Trumps Intern]

(10-24-2018 08:44 AM)Professor When Wrote:  

(10-24-2018 01:01 AM)Trumps Intern Wrote:  

I think your only chance (and it will only work for a short term thing) is to attempt to make her jealous...at this point it sounds like she's playing you, because if she wanted something she would have offered you an opportunity by now. Essentially seems like she just wants you around for attention and validation, maybe boredom, even. You're in a bad position and it doesn't seem like it will end well. What you should try to do is pivot from her to one of her friends.

This sounds good. Obviously you cannot try to make a pass at her friends if you tell every woman that isn't sucking your dick to fuck off. So what do I do here?

If being around her puts you in contact with other girls, start to show attention to them, and express interest. Get their contacts and spark conversations with them. If you can gain another girls interest, make it clear to this new girl that you are just "friends" with your current one so the new girl won't think she is treading on another girl's territory. The good thing is your current girl will give you a good deal of social credit so you should use this to get other girls numbers.

Now, the original girl will likely get jealous. If she does, then you now have more options. Just know that a long-term relationship with the first girl is not viable, so you can most likely just use this tactic to have fleeting sex.

The healthiest thing to do would be to use her as a spring board to get other girl's contacts who might like you more and with whom you can start a more fulfilling relationship with.

[Anchor Man]

(10-24-2018 11:18 AM)Professor When Wrote:  

(10-24-2018 09:17 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(10-23-2018 11:55 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

...chatting during mandatory student events for a few hours

One thing I don't often see discussed in relation to young inexperienced guys being thrown into the friendzone is how the young view time. Time is not a precious commodity to the young because the rest of your life feels infinitely vast. While it's true young guys are naive and misguided (I definitely was) you also have to value your own time enough in order to be ruthless enough to get what you want.

Point being that "a few hours" may seem inconsequential to you but feels like a collossal waste to an older man. The older you get the more you'll feel compelled to make shrewder decisions about how you spend your time.

Just remember that any time you spend orbiting a girl who won't put out is time you could have spent elsewhere, not necessarily chasing other girls, but doing something else that's meaningful or adds value.

I'm not saying you're as bad as I was, but I wasted my entire college stay orbiting one chick I wanted to bang. Frankly, I don't recall anything interesting from all those hours hanging out with her. I barely remember anything other than the fact she was addicted to coffee and thought Keanu Reeves was hot in Point Break. The only value that time had was me staring at her and fantacizing about what I wanted to do to her. So it was hardly a friendship, really.

This is a really good point, but that time was wasted for me anyway. I had to be at those events (they even took attendance). I'm not at the point where I want to dedicate that time to night gaming. I tried that a few times and nothing felt like a bigger waste of time than bouncing around bars for hours at a time not getting drunk and talking to random, bitchy women. This is what I have to work with right now.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

I know this would be against most of the advice you got over here .
We need first to define what is beta orbit and how sever it is . In this forum, will always call newbie "oh you were her bet a orbit " "Oh, she is attention whore " Oh do not waste your time "

Beta orbit is a guy with zero game who hangs around the girl and does her tons of favors hoping you will get laid .
I have female friends and do them favor ( not big ones ), but I know and the know I am not trying to sleep with them .

Yeah, this never happens to me. Sometimes I wish a girl would try to manipulate me this way so I can tell her to fuck off. When I ghost them they don't even bother trying to manipulate me. I am literally invisible to them unless I am under their noses.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

1-First let me ask you. Does this girl know you well ? She knows how cool you are,..etc. If not, then give her chance to know you she might change her mind. I said a chance, not a semester !

No, I spent part of an afternoon with her, she freaked out on me so I ghosted her. A month later she texted me an apology. A month after that I asked her out again. The only reason I recognized her number was that she's the only person I know that texts in the form of novels.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

2- Do you have a social circle ? If not, she could be the start of your circle

I have no social circle at the college.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

3- Male-Female can be friends and acquaintances. You define the the relation boundaries : no favors, no non-stop complaining ,..etc,

I don't know what it's like for other people, but women never solicit me for favors/preferential treatment or to emotional tampon for them. We'll see how it goes this afternoon.

(10-24-2018 10:30 AM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

4- Your time . I am sure most of us spent tons of time on social media and non sense stuff. Cut this time down and then you can "waste" time on this chick .

I don't use social media. Other than a facebook page with 8 friends that we use to coordinate D&D games.

See my reply.
1- Next time , a girl texted you out of the blue. Assume attraction push for a date or meet based on the situation . Don't wait a month. Maybe she wants a dick back then , she doesn't want a dick now.

2- My comment about the social media was more like we waste time on tons of stuff anyway . Why don't we waste an hour on a girl

3- I would say have some social presence .

[Professor When]

I was kind of disgusted with women a month ago as that was the time I was dealing with a false title IX issue.

So, as an update, turns out she's autistic and has never dated before. Unfortunately this means she's useless for furthering my social circle, too. We did have a nice chat and walk, so not a total waste.

[Anchor Man]

(10-24-2018 01:40 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

I was kind of disgusted with women a month ago as that was the time I was dealing with a false title IX issue.

So, as an update, turns out she's autistic and has never dated before. Unfortunately this means she's useless for furthering my social circle, too. We did have a nice chat and walk, so not a total waste.

See what I wrote

"I know this would be against most of the advice you got over here .
We need first to define what is beta orbit and how sever it is . In this forum, ppl will always call newbie "oh you were her bet a orbit " "Oh, she is attention whore " Oh do not waste your time "

1-Attention Whore label and beta orbit are being overused . She turned out to not be attention whore

2- Actually, you have higher chance now. This means she did not know to handle your texts because she is inexperienced . She freaked out because she has never done it before .

3- Wrong mind set. You can building the social circle with her . It would be easier to invite another to hang out with you both than with hang out with you only .

"Hey, I and ( the girl name ) going to ... join us "

[Professor When]

(10-24-2018 01:50 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

(10-24-2018 01:40 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

I was kind of disgusted with women a month ago as that was the time I was dealing with a false title IX issue.

So, as an update, turns out she's autistic and has never dated before. Unfortunately this means she's useless for furthering my social circle, too. We did have a nice chat and walk, so not a total waste.

See what I wrote

"I know this would be against most of the advice you got over here .
We need first to define what is beta orbit and how sever it is . In this forum, ppl will always call newbie "oh you were her bet a orbit " "Oh, she is attention whore " Oh do not waste your time "

1-Attention Whore label and beta orbit are being overused . She turned out to not be attention whore

2- Actually, you have higher chance now. This means she did not know to handle your texts because she is inexperienced . She freaked out because she has never done it before .

3- Wrong mind set. You can building the social circle with her . It would be easier to invite another to hang out with you both than with hang out with you only .

"Hey, I and ( the girl name ) going to ... join us "

That's smart. I guess I'll try to invest some time into her to help me with other women. Thanks for the advice.

[Captain Gh]

Man if Giovanny read this thread... He'd be letting you politely have it! You absolutely didn't create any attraction or rapport whatsoever with this Girl... while she was craving it by letting you know she's not right for you... but still wanted to "talk" with you! Textbook women double talk right there! You don't create attraction and rapport at the date... it needs to already be there! You need to go over Game fundamentals if you haven't already! Hopefully you look decent in order to make the learning curve faster!

[DarkTriad]

(10-24-2018 01:40 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

I was kind of disgusted with women a month ago as that was the time I was dealing with a false title IX issue.

So, as an update, turns out she's autistic and has never dated before. Unfortunately this means she's useless for furthering my social circle, too. We did have a nice chat and walk, so not a total waste.

This changes everything and puts it back into possible bang territory. Explains a lot too. Those weren't traditional woman game playing issues, that was an autistic person trying to figure out how to make it work in the world.

I actually like aspy chicks, they make more sense than regular women. You've also got the only attractive co-ed with a n-count of zero. And you're the only one that makes even this level of contact with her.

Ask questions, figure out what makes her tick. Surprisingly easy, they'll actually explain how their minds work in a logical manner. Figure out where you fit in and you'll figure where you fit into her pants.

[questor70]

(10-24-2018 11:18 AM)Professor When Wrote:  

I have no social circle at the college.

Problem identified.

I think there's some missing background in this thread. You're 28 and still in college?

From my vantage point your best bet is to build social circle by connecting with higher value males or joining a fraternity. Let the other males hook you up rather than trying to fly completely solo. But I can understand how the age gap might make you feel awkward in doing that.

[Mess O.]

I'll also chime in the collegiate age gap issue. Back when I 'revisited' the college scene, the typical layout in class would be how virtually everyone there was either 18 or 21, and maybe with a speck or two of much older folks. Surely doesn't help you in fitting right back in. At such later ages, my attitude there was more like, 'just go to class and get the fuck out', but if you see an opportunity, just make your play. Hey, we can't all be Gio, but I'm just not sure the college scene is really all that good for meeting women anymore.

[Professor When]

(10-25-2018 02:38 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(10-24-2018 11:18 AM)Professor When Wrote:  

I have no social circle at the college.

Problem identified.

I think there's some missing background in this thread. You're 28 and still in college?

From my vantage point your best bet is to build social circle by connecting with higher value males or joining a fraternity. Let the other males hook you up rather than trying to fly completely solo. But I can understand how the age gap might make you feel awkward in doing that.

Short version:
2.5 years of a chemical engineering degree.
Herniated my back lifting and took a leave of absence.
College jerked me around as I tried to re-enroll, I told them to go fuck themselves.
Spent 6 years working shitty jobs, being a depressed, fatass shut-in.
I decided to fix my shit, lose weight, and become a normal human, here I am.

[ksbms]

(10-24-2018 09:17 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(10-23-2018 11:55 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

...chatting during mandatory student events for a few hours

One thing I don't often see discussed in relation to young inexperienced guys being thrown into the friendzone is how the young view time. Time is not a precious commodity to the young because the rest of your life feels infinitely vast. While it's true young guys are naive and misguided (I definitely was) you also have to value your own time enough in order to be ruthless enough to get what you want.

Point being that "a few hours" may seem inconsequential to you but feels like a collossal waste to an older man. The older you get the more you'll feel compelled to make shrewder decisions about how you spend your time.

Just remember that any time you spend orbiting a girl who won't put out is time you could have spent elsewhere, not necessarily chasing other girls, but doing something else that's meaningful or adds value.

I'm not saying you're as bad as I was, but I wasted my entire college stay orbiting one chick I wanted to bang. Frankly, I don't recall anything interesting from all those hours hanging out with her. I barely remember anything other than the fact she was addicted to coffee and thought Keanu Reeves was hot in Point Break. The only value that time had was me staring at her and fantacizing about what I wanted to do to her. So it was hardly a friendship, really.

Well said, Questor70!

Let's not forget Horstman's corollary to Parkinson's law:

Work expands to fit in the time we give it.

Female behaviour corollary to Parkinson's law:

Female's attention seeking behaviour will occupy all the available time a man gives her.

Prof. When, Mystery advocates around, on average, 7 hours rule, cumulatively, for a woman to get her from attraction through comfort/rapport to seduction to bed. This is for the interaction in person, add some time (ideally, as little as possible) for messaging. You need to mentally tally up how much time it takes to get from beginning to an end. And above a set amount of time, you need to cut it off - the opportunity cost becomes too high. And if you yourself don't value your time, a girl won't either. Paradoxically, a busy man, with limited time is perceived as more interesting than the other way round. Sometimes the medium is the message. It's not semantic content and analysing the interaction won't bring resolution. If you're over 10 hours (this is 3 dates each 3 hours!) and no bang (not to mention no kissing), you'll be better off expecting Santa will get you a money making machine for Christmas. Even if you banged, it's a misery to spend 50+ hours to court a woman and you won't feel good about it regardless of the outcome.

Some cases are hopeless - it did happen to me a couple times to get numbers from girls who were absolutely socially inept, that is they didn't realise I tried to pick them up - you should always indicate why you to talk them, that's why you have non-verbals (touch) and verbals ('I think you look cute'). If a girl doesn't get that, she'll bring your more misery than fun. The hilarious thing is, this girls will keep in touch until the end of time. You need to get them of the fence on the first date at the latest - even a virgin will not decline kissing if she's interested. If a girl is difficult, you need to give them the talk - explain you're a man, she's a woman, and THIS IS A DATE. If she fucks around, doesn't give a straight answer, just down your drink, pay, leave the venue, block her number. In other words, next. THAT'S IT.

And remember, as Questor70 wrote it above - life is short. Certainly shorter than you think.

[Cobra]

A girl doesn't friendzone you until you friendzone yourself.

She's shit testing you until then.

She's agreeing to go out with you to shit test you.

You have nothing to lose.

Just don't fail the shit test and end up in the friendzone. [Again, you would be doing it to yourself.]

Escalate.

[Anchor Man]

(10-28-2018 07:30 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

(10-24-2018 09:17 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(10-23-2018 11:55 PM)Professor When Wrote:  

...chatting during mandatory student events for a few hours

One thing I don't often see discussed in relation to young inexperienced guys being thrown into the friendzone is how the young view time. Time is not a precious commodity to the young because the rest of your life feels infinitely vast. While it's true young guys are naive and misguided (I definitely was) you also have to value your own time enough in order to be ruthless enough to get what you want.

Point being that "a few hours" may seem inconsequential to you but feels like a collossal waste to an older man. The older you get the more you'll feel compelled to make shrewder decisions about how you spend your time.

Just remember that any time you spend orbiting a girl who won't put out is time you could have spent elsewhere, not necessarily chasing other girls, but doing something else that's meaningful or adds value.

I'm not saying you're as bad as I was, but I wasted my entire college stay orbiting one chick I wanted to bang. Frankly, I don't recall anything interesting from all those hours hanging out with her. I barely remember anything other than the fact she was addicted to coffee and thought Keanu Reeves was hot in Point Break. The only value that time had was me staring at her and fantacizing about what I wanted to do to her. So it was hardly a friendship, really.

Well said, Questor70!

Let's not forget Horstman's corollary to Parkinson's law:

Work expands to fit in the time we give it.

Female behaviour corollary to Parkinson's law:

Female's attention seeking behaviour will occupy all the available time a man gives her.

Prof. When, Mystery advocates around, on average, 7 hours rule, cumulatively, for a woman to get her from attraction through comfort/rapport to seduction to bed. This is for the interaction in person, add some time (ideally, as little as possible) for messaging. You need to mentally tally up how much time it takes to get from beginning to an end. And above a set amount of time, you need to cut it off - the opportunity cost becomes too high. And if you yourself don't value your time, a girl won't either. Paradoxically, a busy man, with limited time is perceived as more interesting than the other way round. Sometimes the medium is the message. It's not semantic content and analysing the interaction won't bring resolution. If you're over 10 hours (this is 3 dates each 3 hours!) and no bang (not to mention no kissing), you'll be better off expecting Santa will get you a money making machine for Christmas. Even if you banged, it's a misery to spend 50+ hours to court a woman and you won't feel good about it regardless of the outcome.

Some cases are hopeless - it did happen to me a couple times to get numbers from girls who were absolutely socially inept, that is they didn't realise I tried to pick them up - you should always indicate why you to talk them, that's why you have non-verbals (touch) and verbals ('I think you look cute'). If a girl doesn't get that, she'll bring your more misery than fun. The hilarious thing is, this girls will keep in touch until the end of time. You need to get them of the fence on the first date at the latest - even a virgin will not decline kissing if she's interested. If a girl is difficult, you need to give them the talk - explain you're a man, she's a woman, and THIS IS A DATE. If she fucks around, doesn't give a straight answer, just down your drink, pay, leave the venue, block her number. In other words, next. THAT'S IT.

And remember, as Questor70 wrote it above - life is short. Certainly shorter than you think.

Agree. But the guy is till well below 7 hours .

[questor70]

(10-28-2018 03:04 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

Agree. But the guy is till well below 7 hours .

You don't just count the hours spent physically with her. You have to count the number of hours he pines away for her and dwells upon her, like contributing to this thread.

In that college story I related, I spent at least as much time thinking about her as I did sitting beside her hearing her babble on about nothing. And it was total analysis paralyis where I kept trying to think of ways to bring the situation to a head without just flat out asking her out. I wound up casting her in one of my student film projects and did talent shows with her in the hopes that the more time we spent doing things we both actually enjoyed would make us bond. I thought we'd make out if we rehearsed in my dorm room. Of course, nothing panned out. It was like the nerd equivalent of the Road Runner cartoons with me employing one passive indirect technique after the next. I must have come close to blurting out my intentions a dozen or more times, with my heart constantly racing, only to wimp out again and again.

Now, I'll tell you one thing, I only obsessed over her that much because I was convinced she would have been the fuck of a lifetime. If she hadn't slotted into my fantasy archetype enough there's no way I would have done this. If this woman isn't at THAT level of hotness then she's even less worthy of all this discussion. But if she IS, then by all means OP should get off the pot and tell her how you feel. 99.9% chance she'll decline but it's not about the outcome. It's about getting OP's feelings off his chest rather than repressing.

Repression is far worse than rejection.

[Fortis]

hit her with "let's just get married."

[Professor When]

(10-30-2018 06:17 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

(10-28-2018 03:04 PM)Anchor Man Wrote:  

Agree. But the guy is till well below 7 hours .

You don't just count the hours spent physically with her. You have to count the number of hours he pines away for her and dwells upon her, like contributing to this thread.

In that college story I related, I spent at least as much time thinking about her as I did sitting beside her hearing her babble on about nothing. And it was total analysis paralyis where I kept trying to think of ways to bring the situation to a head without just flat out asking her out. I wound up casting her in one of my student film projects and did talent shows with her in the hopes that the more time we spent doing things we both actually enjoyed would make us bond. I thought we'd make out if we rehearsed in my dorm room. Of course, nothing panned out. It was like the nerd equivalent of the Road Runner cartoons with me employing one passive indirect technique after the next. I must have come close to blurting out my intentions a dozen or more times, with my heart constantly racing, only to wimp out again and again.

Now, I'll tell you one thing, I only obsessed over her that much because I was convinced she would have been the fuck of a lifetime. If she hadn't slotted into my fantasy archetype enough there's no way I would have done this. If this woman isn't at THAT level of hotness then she's even less worthy of all this discussion. But if she IS, then by all means OP should get off the pot and tell her how you feel. 99.9% chance she'll decline but it's not about the outcome. It's about getting OP's feelings off his chest rather than repressing.

Repression is far worse than rejection.

Woah there dude, back up. I really, honestly, think there's a lot of projection going on toward me here.

There are no deep feelings here other than my recognizing that I have no game, and for the amount of effort I have to spare on women this is a reasonable opportunity. One thing that I have never done is fawned over a woman. Mostly it's just them ignoring me. I don't even know what you people mean when you say that women try to use you for favors, that has never actually happened to me. I am so invisible to women that they don't even try to use me. I need to fix that shit and putting in the time to actually interact with some is a necessity. This one at least acknowledges my existence, so I see no problem with following it down the rabbit hole until it becomes too troublesome.

It was a bit hidden in the thread, but I had written her off after she freaked out on me and even after she tried to apologize. Some time later I thought this could be a decent opportunity to do anything. I ended up texting her "ready for that date yet?"

She turned down the date, but invited me for coffee. She basically told me that she's autistic and doesn't date. I actually haven't contacted her since due to lack of time. If anything of actual interest happens here, I'll update.


P.S. - I'm still approaching other women and I'm still getting phone numbers with just a first name and no responses for over 24 hours after my first text. That is something I just walk away from.