[mcr]

I've been 'studying' various materials for a while now... and occasionally put it to use and get some good results.. the thing is, I don't push 'sexually' for the most part.

When I do push -- and I have great lines and great stories -- I'm 'working' - and when I'm working, its not a good time to be asking a HB for a #/email.

My work... its in law enforcement (generally in our city's 'entertainment district')... I take off the uniform, and I rarely flirt with women-- they aren't 'noticing me' - but, put on the uniform and they are watching me -- only then do I have that confidence to walk up and hit them with amazing openers that get them all over me (I just refuse to try & close due to the being at 'work').

Anyone with some advice for someone in my "predicament"? I don't want to be the 'cop' grabbing #'s when he's working. I have lots of confidence in everything I do - just not with women - when I am not wearing the uniform.

Comments? Suggestions?

[JoeBmore]

As far as the materials, and podcasts. I personally felt better when I cut down a lot of the information. Information overload can lead to system shutdowns. I would choose one method, give that a try. See how it works. Then try another.

As far as using the uniform to get #'s. I say go for it. I know other cops are doing it, and smashing every weekend. You could feel guilty as she is leaving your bed and catching a cab.

Just my opinion.

[broken]

(08-26-2008 03:54 PM)mcr Wrote:  

Comments? Suggestions?

Man do I empathize.

For me, I need to be in my suit and tie, or I need a great dj.

Couple of things are at work in my mind.

1) The exterior (my gear, the music) gives me confidence to be the great guy that I am. I'm looking outward for a reason to be comfortable.

2) The exterior, may actually have an effect on how a girl sees me. That I can't really control.

3) I think about what the girl thinks when she sees me.

None of this is logical or productive.

I would tell you to think of a good experience in the past, but honestly reliving how I bagged a chick before off of a less than perfect cold approach hasn't actually helped me.

The "talk to the first set you see" or "be talkative with everyone", doesn't work for me when I see an actual hot chick.

"she just as nervous as you are" - No she's not.

The only solution...

You just have to suck it up, walk over and start talking.

Approach Anxiety lessens eventually.

[duncanidaho]

(08-26-2008 03:54 PM)mcr Wrote:  

Anyone with some advice for someone in my "predicament"? I don't want to be the 'cop' grabbing #'s when he's working. I have lots of confidence in everything I do - just not with women - when I am not wearing the uniform.

Comments? Suggestions?

mcr, first off, kudos for not abusing the uniform. It'd be one thing if you're wearing it at a convention off duty and three states away and getting hit on by convention groupies, but I think it's cool you're not mixing work with pleasure. I know some guys might think you should, but I think you're making the best decision not to.

It sounds to me you've hit a sticking point and need to get past this hurdle to get your game up a notch. Here's some recommendations:

-Find a wing who's game is higher than yours, and go sarge with him.

-Go sarging in a different town, it might lessen the apprehension you're feeling, and when you get some success you can carry it forward to where you live.

Accept the fact that in or out of the uniform, you're the same guy with the same skills, and it's the game within you that's creating attraction with women not the uniform.

[Trotter]

There's two basic parts to this.

In uniform you get the attention from the skirts because it's taboo for them, and maybe the authority figure of a man in uniform can get some wet. Do be cautious though because I'm willing to bet most just enjoying flirting with danger if you get my drift.

The second part is you feel more comfortable while in the uniform because you feel like it supports you. It's easier to flirt with girls while under the protection of the uniform because you have your duty to hide behind. It's a crutch, provides a false sense of support, it allows you to feel more comfortable in your own skin, but don't ditch it as an approach method all together. It's about the same thing as liquid courage; it's not real courage but can be useful given the right twist.

So let's say the ball is already in motion, you're on duty, and you have a couple of chicks flirting with you. They're probably already buying into the authority figure in uniform taboo. If you had a good setup you can use it as a segway towards the next step. That step would be innocently inviting the girls to meet you somewhere later.

You: "I'm getting off duty in a bit, let's meet up at <some public place>. It'll be a lot of fun." - Making it something more special and out of the ordinary will increase the chances that the invitation will be accepted.

Or I would probably arrange something ahead of time with friends and have a wingman waiting.

You: "Me and the guys are going off duty in a bit. Meet us at <some public place>, it'll be fun." or blah, blah, or what else you can think of to make it more enticing (sobriety test drinking games which plays into the cop thing). Just don't go overboard.

Remember part of the illusion is that you're an authority figure so don't ask. You tell them what's up and they'll be missing out on a fun time with a pack of off duty cops. If they ever had a fantasy about cops this would work in your favour. So you use the uniform to your advantage, don't violate the ethics of being in uniform, and you've already established the tone of what to expect. So then you can go to your civies, continue the ruse, and scoop up numbers while off duty.

But there are so many variables to this you'll just have to take it in baby steps until you build up the confidence outside of the uniform to develop a solid game.

My ultimate recommendation is not to rely on the uniform all the time. You have get accustomed to being in your own skin, but I don't see anything wrong with using that to your advantage as a launching point.


P.S. I'm going to cock slap you if you're a flashlight cop.