[PapayaTapper]

(08-19-2018 06:04 PM)lifecrisis Wrote:  

(08-19-2018 04:28 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

He went from having "forgotten about her" to obsessing enough to post about her

I don't think it's obsessing wanting to understand how to deal with a certain situation.I am a student of the game and want to learn from every episode that gets me thinking. If i hadn't posted this thread i would have never understood this whole situation, but thanks to some great replies on here im starting to figure it out. Lesson learned.

"Obsessed" may be too strong of a word but my point and my suggested take away still stand.

She went from a girl you essentially took for granted (low emotional investment) to wanting to "understand the situation" (higher emotional investment)

How she did that to you ?... is the point I was trying to make.

Without getting too Freudian she plucked at your "id" and your "ego" needs to know why.

That's high level game. Thats dread game

Dread game (in the link above) is so effective because it strikes deeply at the most basic structural components of the human psyche...fear

Long story short...I agree with Cobra. The girl likes you and was testing your investment the only way she could (as Scotian stated).

My guess is she's still into it. No need to "next" IMO. But you need to give her a bit more "positive" reinforcement than you were

[RedPillUK]

(08-19-2018 06:04 PM)lifecrisis Wrote:  

(08-19-2018 04:43 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

----

Best post written here. But I have to disagree with one thing. Me not being man enough to handle her manipulation and texts. Because i literally didn't answer any of them. I just ghosted her. Do you think it's a better idea if i make fun of the whole situation and act like im not impacted by it in any way, then slowly erase her out of my memory? I just feel like ghosting her like im currently doing does more impact, since she won't be able to stop thinking about what kind of mistake she made that night. Don't you think i'd be giving her false hope for continuation if i act like nothing happened and i don't adress the real issue, with her being a weirdo that night, making out with some ugly dude?

Ah ok. I was talking about her manipulation and texting/calling in general, however I used those final texts as an example. As you've decided she's not worth the effort than yeah you are handling the situation fine now by ghosting her.

I'm saying you weren't handling right before all that shit happened. You just mentioned yourself that she caused you a lot of drama and problems earlier and I was giving you advice with how to deal with it before it gets out of hand like this.

(08-19-2018 06:04 PM)lifecrisis Wrote:  

(08-19-2018 04:43 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

Secondly, this is just disgusting behaviour. If a girl ever said anything like "I thought you were better than this" to me, I would just tell her to find someone better then. Call her on her bluff. Don't let women disrespect you like that. If she's not bluffing then she can fuck off because I don't want someone who is going to regularly disrespect me.

This is more of a problem with western girls who have never been put in their place.

This is so god damn accurate. When i saw her texting that i thought to myself, is this girl mental? "I thought you were better than this" like i was the one making out with another girl and saying "fuck off, go away" indirectly when approached. It's a rising problem because girls think they can get away with this kind of behavior. That's why im saying, i want to give her a valuable lesson by cutting her right out of my life, showing her i am not like the other cucks and betas she's been dealing with. I don't put up with shit like that. My time is too valuable to worry about one girl when i could be out gaming much better girls out there.

Obviously, i don't own her and i can't decide if she can go make out with random dudes or not, because we're not committed in any way or shape. And the same goes for me, i can go around make out with any girl i want even in her presence. But the difference is, she's the one saying all this bullshit stuff about how much she misses me, want me in her life, take me home to have sex, and talk about how we should be dating, and a few hours later she does everything that contradicts her own words.

(08-19-2018 04:43 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

They will say they want to 'talk' with you about something. Then they will start with "I think it was terrible how you...blah blah blah " At this point you should take offence to the word 'terrible' being used to describe you and ask her what she really means using that word.

Spot on. She tries to put it on me and frame me as the bad guy in this whole episode. Hate it when people can't take responsibility for their actions. But i understand what you're trying to say, you're saying i need to hear her out about it. See if she apologizes or acts like everything is my fault blah blah blah, from there i should calibrate what i should do with her. I get it.

Er.. Sort of, but to me, 'hearing her out' sounds like you respectfully listening to her insane complaints while she goes on a 20 minute rant. I definitely do not advocate that.

I'm saying as soon as she starts being rude, you interrupt her and cut her off right then, then you tell her to leave if she really feels that way. That gets rid of the high drama crazy ones and calms down the less crazy ones who are just having a bad day.

Women like to frame you as the bad guy, but if we're really as bad as they said, why don't they find someone else? Because they're full of shit and it's just a way to get power over you.

[Cobra]

(08-19-2018 07:43 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

(08-19-2018 06:04 PM)lifecrisis Wrote:  

(08-19-2018 04:43 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

----

Best post written here. But I have to disagree with one thing. Me not being man enough to handle her manipulation and texts. Because i literally didn't answer any of them. I just ghosted her. Do you think it's a better idea if i make fun of the whole situation and act like im not impacted by it in any way, then slowly erase her out of my memory? I just feel like ghosting her like im currently doing does more impact, since she won't be able to stop thinking about what kind of mistake she made that night. Don't you think i'd be giving her false hope for continuation if i act like nothing happened and i don't adress the real issue, with her being a weirdo that night, making out with some ugly dude?

Ah ok. I was talking about her manipulation and texting/calling in general, however I used those final texts as an example. As you've decided she's not worth the effort than yeah you are handling the situation fine now by ghosting her.

I'm saying you weren't handling right before all that shit happened. You just mentioned yourself that she caused you a lot of drama and problems earlier and I was giving you advice with how to deal with it before it gets out of hand like this.

(08-19-2018 06:04 PM)lifecrisis Wrote:  

(08-19-2018 04:43 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

Secondly, this is just disgusting behaviour. If a girl ever said anything like "I thought you were better than this" to me, I would just tell her to find someone better then. Call her on her bluff. Don't let women disrespect you like that. If she's not bluffing then she can fuck off because I don't want someone who is going to regularly disrespect me.

This is more of a problem with western girls who have never been put in their place.

This is so god damn accurate. When i saw her texting that i thought to myself, is this girl mental? "I thought you were better than this" like i was the one making out with another girl and saying "fuck off, go away" indirectly when approached. It's a rising problem because girls think they can get away with this kind of behavior. That's why im saying, i want to give her a valuable lesson by cutting her right out of my life, showing her i am not like the other cucks and betas she's been dealing with. I don't put up with shit like that. My time is too valuable to worry about one girl when i could be out gaming much better girls out there.

Obviously, i don't own her and i can't decide if she can go make out with random dudes or not, because we're not committed in any way or shape. And the same goes for me, i can go around make out with any girl i want even in her presence. But the difference is, she's the one saying all this bullshit stuff about how much she misses me, want me in her life, take me home to have sex, and talk about how we should be dating, and a few hours later she does everything that contradicts her own words.

(08-19-2018 04:43 PM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

They will say they want to 'talk' with you about something. Then they will start with "I think it was terrible how you...blah blah blah " At this point you should take offence to the word 'terrible' being used to describe you and ask her what she really means using that word.

Spot on. She tries to put it on me and frame me as the bad guy in this whole episode. Hate it when people can't take responsibility for their actions. But i understand what you're trying to say, you're saying i need to hear her out about it. See if she apologizes or acts like everything is my fault blah blah blah, from there i should calibrate what i should do with her. I get it.

Er.. Sort of, but to me, 'hearing her out' sounds like you respectfully listening to her insane complaints while she goes on a 20 minute rant. I definitely do not advocate that.

I'm saying as soon as she starts being rude, you interrupt her and cut her off right then, then you tell her to leave if she really feels that way. That gets rid of the high drama crazy ones and calms down the less crazy ones who are just having a bad day.

Women like to frame you as the bad guy, but if we're really as bad as they said, why don't they find someone else? Because they're full of shit and it's just a way to get power over you.

Let's frame this out for a second. She was coming to you regularly with not much effort on your part. She flips the script and now YOU are actually making the effort (so much as to come here and ask for advice).

[As far as her gaming you, a female's game doesn't "look" a certain way. Women are born to read human behavior much better than men and then adapt. It's hard for anyone to catch on that this is even happening. A lot of it is subconscious on their part and not obvious on your part. Take my own example. If I am rusty (as I am now), I have a hard time with being a "gamer." It would require some re-learning or practice for me and a couple cold runs before I'm back to my prior state or better. Until then, the obvious sort of escapes me in the speed of things.]

Now to my point. While I agree with game theory in most situations and being as "alpha" as possible, the real world application of this is not only tricky, but difficult. So you absolutely cannot beat yourself up. Moving on, I caution against being so aggressive and "alpha" with a girl that ALREADY likes you. It just doesn't make sense. Rather, I think you need to figure out yourself what the best way to handle this is. If she is being hot, then it's okay to be a bit nicer. However, if she is running cold, then you need to amplify. It doesn't seem like the latter is happening. So, while I suggest being honest, she doesn't need to be gamed like a girl you HAVEN'T BANGED. Again, I'm being hypothetical.

A lot of us here can give advice based on our own learning and experiences, but I would urge you to make your own decisions from the facts available and we can provide our own reference points.

[Dasein]

Some comments:

1. This is what they call a Narcissistic Injury. Basically, this all stems from issues with your ego, I think you should work on it, because this girl seems to have been able to really shake you up. Your mental state should be much stronger, it's something to work on. One girl should not cause you to launch into many lengthy essays or be able to ruin your night.

2. My guess is that her actions are a combination of alcohol, a desire to make you jealous, and some degree of attraction to the other guy. Alcohol can put people in a weird place and most girls who are promiscuous have problems with alcohol. She also saw you gaming other girls and probably had an ego injury of her own, using the other guy was a means of retaliation. This is all speculation, so keep that in mind, but there is a lot of immaturity in this story.

3. There probably was some way to prevent that make-out. However, in this case, I think you should realize something important-- she was calling and texting you pretty aggressively after the party. Which means she did not go home with the guy and probably would have gone home with you. Ultimately, I would rather be the guy that she goes home with, especially if I am not giving her any kind of commitment. She is not your girlfriend and if you do not want her to be that, you have got to be okay with the idea that she's going to be on the market. Kisses and dinner dates are not the goal.

Unfortunately, if you wanted to LTR her, you now really can't for pretty obvious reasons. My thoughts are that you should approach her directly and get to some kind of resolution on this. The reason why is that it sounds like she is in the same nightlife scene that you are in and you're going to keep running into her. She's going to be talking about you and could possibly damage your hookup chances in the future. If you ghost her, she'll create whatever narrative makes her feel best and just tell that to other people. If she agrees to the narrative where it was her fault, she won't want to bring up the story.

I like Redpill's approach. I think she's not good for you to have as an FWB unless you get over the jealousy thing, but that's your call, getting a supply of bangs while you search for something else is good.

[Mikeyd03]

In my opinion (and in my own experience),

Complete mental domination over someone is achieved by ignoring them. Forget her completely and continue enjoying life. There is nothing that gives you more power than this. I have been on both sides of the coin. It's not an easy thing to do. She disrespected you to the max when she made out with the dude (even if drunk). I say ghost, but that's just me. I can see how some guys might want to squeeze the juice out of this, but then again there's always other girls.

[Parras]

I actually have had this happen to me.

Everytime I didnt text her she would flip out.

When she saw me online on Facebook she would flip out as well. She thought I was talking or messaging other girls.

I generally ignored it. And over time she succumbed and didnt say anything to me anymore.

[Longshanks]

Don't be a cuck. Delete.