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The Hole I Am In ...
#26

The Hole I Am In ...

For many years I was with a much older woman. She didn’t have the baggage or trashy qualities. There was minimal drama, nonsense, and zero exchange of stds. This is when I was content to remain single and without children. In many ways, the situation was perfect. No pressure, no stress, and she had no kids either. In all honesty though, it was more like FWBs than anything. I felt no need to change anything about myself or my life, so I remained in a bland and unrewarding job, wouldn’t lose weight, etc. that relationship ended last fall when she was diagnosed with cancer. We had an argument about something, so she told me to GTFO, and I did.

I was hurt and depressed for several months at the ending of a long friendship.

About a month ago, I met a 25 year old recently separated, and fairly tattooed single mother. Red flag girl all the way. But she was young, happy, and had positive energy. Easy on the eyes, and a great fuck. A bit flakey though. Then I met her kids the other week. Very good looking and well behaved. I would dare say charming. I spent about an hour interacting with the oldest one and the shit blew my mind. I used to think people with kids, marriage, etc, were suckers. I was wrong.

The past month for me has been profoundly life altering. I was/am a 41 year old dedicated bachelor. Most of my adult life is nothing more than long periods of emptiness, isolation, and watching things grow old.

I’ve lost 20lbs in the past month. I quit my job last week as it was a dead end. The next steps involve changing my living situation, kicking the weight loss into high gear, and improving the career outlook.

I’m tired of spending my life drifting, and watching things grow old. If I continue down that road, I’ll die alone, and with nothing but isolation and regret. Fuck that.

As for the single mom. She’s great when she wants to be. Her kids are awesome. But I don’t see much future because she likes to play games too much. I’ve got 7-10 good years left in me before age really catches up. I’ve got to make the most of them. I ain’t got time for bullshit or regrets over the past.

OP, it’s your life to make the most of, or to piss away.
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#27

The Hole I Am In ...

Good to hear the progress @porscheguy. Keep at it man.
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#28

The Hole I Am In ...

Thanks for the advice gentlemen,

Know that I am literally taking notes.
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