[Mrs. Chocolate]

Hi,

My work area is majority coursed by men, I have nothing but 1/3 women/male ratio and less, there are plenty of women there more than other places that I already been with.
I was the only girl in a 40 men team. I was never been disrespected, nor underestimated by the team, they made me feel like home. Overall, it was never a problem.
The real problem is that they little by little "forget" that I am a girl and I end up not being seen as women anymore. But, I improve my skills to deal with different genders and people, which I think it is great.

Any thoughts?

[Aliblahba]

(09-28-2011 09:10 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Hi,

My work area is majority coursed by men, I have nothing but 1/3 women/male ratio and less, there are plenty of women there more than other places that I already been with.
I was the only girl in a 40 men team. I was never been disrespected, nor underestimated by the team, they made me feel like home. Overall, it was never a problem.
The real problem is that they little by little "forget" that I am a girl and I end up not being seen as women anymore. But, I improve my skills to deal with different genders and people, which I think it is great.

Any thoughts?

You're sexy as hell Mizzzzz Chocolate! Wear mini skirts and show lots of cleavage. They won't forget you are female then.

But really, if they don't see you as a female, it means you've pulled your weight and gained their respect. Good job.

[Samseau]

(09-28-2011 09:10 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Hi,

My work area is majority coursed by men, I have nothing but 1/3 women/male ratio and less, there are plenty of women there more than other places that I already been with.
I was the only girl in a 40 men team. I was never been disrespected, nor underestimated by the team, they made me feel like home. Overall, it was never a problem.
The real problem is that they little by little "forget" that I am a girl and I end up not being seen as women anymore. But, I improve my skills to deal with different genders and people, which I think it is great.

Any thoughts?

Are you looking to bag one of your co-workers for a date or something? That's potentially dangerous, don't you think?

But if your goal is more penis at work, dress sexier and do unsolicited nice things for the guys you like (get them coffee, help them with tasks, etc.).

It just seems so weird to me, a pretty girl asking for dating advice. Like... how hard could it be? If worse comes to worse, just ask one of the guys you like out for some drinks or something.

[hydrogonian]

I think that you need to expand on what you feel that the problem is.

What exactly is the issue with them not viewing you "as a girl"? They likely see you as a co-worker, and necessarily a-sexualized you so that you don't constantly get hit on and they dont have to suppress their urges so much. If they saw you "as a girl", in all of the relevant ways, then you might receive some communication that you would interpret as "disrespect". Its hard to have it both ways. Either you are a "girl" to them and therefore an object of sexual desire, or you are a "co-worker" that doesn't get disrespected. I think that your internal dilemma reflects a lot of the female psychological discord that occurs with the gender role blurring of the past couple of generations.

If it makes you feel better, Ms. Chocolate, I will remind you that the chocolate bunny, that is my long standing avatar, still represents your vagina. It's my homage to your special femininity and girlishness. Feel better? Btw, a vagina that I will one day whip into shape.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

@samsau: Yes, dating at work is a dangerous field to step in. I guess that my problem is the a-sexualizing thing happens in all my relationships despite work (social circle). Being good/decent/pretty looking can bring advantages, but is not everything. The uglies and dumb also get married and are asked for dates.

@Hydro: There are other girls here and they treat them differently for sure... There is more "kindness", but from their back they laugh of them. You are right, I rather my position.

I listen to their sexual histories, and sexual preferences (man talk) often, the last night girl who they cheated the girlfriend with. I must pretend that everything is okay. There are some comments about it demands my mouth shut. (for good and for bad), never about myself, however I feel sorry for the girls. Sometimes they said: Whoa, Mrs. C is here! OK, it's fine, she is used to it! lol! It's fun most of the time, but... I still miss in life that little thing, a glance, that I`m a girl in the end of the day. Find the balance between been feminine at work (short/sexier clothes are not an answer, just let you less respected, because it is not the moment for them) and not look like a transvestite woman trying to look like man.

[hydrogonian]

There probably isn't an easy answer. It's just the way that it is. I say leave work at work, count your blessings there (no disrespect) and find the man that will make you feel feminine outside of work, if possible.

Also, being seen as "one of the guys" and therefore being privileged to their conversations about infidelity gives you more information about the minds of men then most women get. That is, if this forum didn't already clarify a lot of things for you

[Samseau]

Come to think of it, Mrs. Chocolate's online life mirrors her personal life. You get along with men and spend most of your time with them. You're low maintenance and make a good girlfriend.


I just can't see how you aren't getting any sexual attention from men. It's more likely the case that you ignore the sexual attention you get from men right now, while pining away for guys who are out of your league. This is the case for the majority of women, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's true for you too.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

I'm surrounded by players. My past 25 years I have been around them, so trust me, I know how they act (aka red flags) and look like after long training and my time spent with men. Yes, I had done my homework.
They don't count. Real men (not charming prince either) is what I'm talking about.
Men with flaws, who can't say the perfect word at the perfect moment because are too nervous for that or has no clue of what to say, men who loves a sexy, well dressed women, but admires them in their natural features (during the morning after).
Some girls I think they are between men: they are too intimidating (for several reasons, being confident about herself, beauty, intelligence, for good or even the mainly behavior that you hate) for the men that they should attract and live with and too hard maintenance for the ones that they shouldn't, but have the guts to get in.

[hydrogonian]

Mrs Chocolate, I really do think that older guys are great options for women who want what you want.

In your case, look for 35 to 39 perhaps.

I think that this age bracket tends to match the needs and wants of most commitment minded women more readily. They see you as high value for your youth and energy, and you see them as higher value for their increasing stability and perhaps their ability to value you.

Older men and younger women are a natural match.

[velkrum]

this sounds like a "Where are all the good men at" thread.

Men are slaves to our vices as women are slaves to their emotions.

Find yourself a group of girlfriends. and I'm not talking about the guys in this thread LOL...kidding

[hydrogonian]

(09-29-2011 11:56 AM)velkrum Wrote:  

Find yourself a group of girlfriends. and I'm not talking about the guys in this thread LOL...kidding

Damn homie! thats cold! Mrs Chocolate has been on this forum longer than most, including you and me, and so we talk with her about her issues. No need to put the communication down. Although I acknowledge the "kidding" remark, you know that there was some sincerity in that statement.

[velkrum]

sorry, no disrespect, the dialogue in this thread is actually pretty good.

sometimes I can be a jerk to good people when i don't understand the full history of things.

[Samseau]

(09-29-2011 11:29 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

I'm surrounded by players. My past 25 years I have been around them, so trust me, I know how they act (aka red flags) and look like after long training and my time spent with men. Yes, I had done my homework.

Tell me some red flags. I wanna know how many of them I have

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Men red flags:

1. he only can say that you are beautiful as acomplishment, nothing further. (beautiful = hot, talks about your hips, your boobies)
2. Tries to disguise (without succeed) that he only wants to hump and dump (which is not always a bad thing, but the disguising act itself is the red flag)
3. Disappears after the 2nd date without sex.
4. Does not remember your name and what you like easily after date number 3.
5. Pushes drinks to get you loose faster.

And the like.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

(09-29-2011 11:56 AM)velkrum Wrote:  

Find yourself a group of girlfriends. and I'm not talking about the guys in this thread LOL...kidding

Great advice. Where are yours Btw? Lol.

[hydrogonian]

(09-29-2011 09:04 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Men red flags:

1. he only can say that you are beautiful as acomplishment, nothing further. (beautiful = hot, talks about your hips, your boobies)
2. Tries to disguise (without succeed) that he only wants to hump and dump (which is not always a bad thing, but the disguising act itself is the red flag)
3. Disappears after the 2nd date without sex.
4. Does not remember your name and what you like easily after date number 3.
5. Pushes drinks to get you loose faster.

And the like.

I thought that was called "direct game"?
ha.

[Samseau]

(09-29-2011 09:04 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Men red flags:

1. he only can say that you are beautiful as acomplishment, nothing further. (beautiful = hot, talks about your hips, your boobies)
2. Tries to disguise (without succeed) that he only wants to hump and dump (which is not always a bad thing, but the disguising act itself is the red flag)
3. Disappears after the 2nd date without sex.
4. Does not remember your name and what you like easily after date number 3.
5. Pushes drinks to get you loose faster.

And the like.

I'm only guilty of number 3...


And advice for you... have you consider settling with some beta male? Or an older man like hydrogonian says? Those are probably your best bets for finding commitment.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

No beta male, please... But a man in your early 30s is acceptable. Not older than 40s, too much thing going on, spoiled kids, ex wife drama...

@hydro: direct game? hunnn, don't think so... Is way beyond that. lol

[tyciol]

Q for Mrs. Chocolate, I have worked with women in the past who seem similar in that they are professional, perhaps considered one of the guys out of respect and stuff. Until now I've mostly thought that's what they wanted, now I'm wondering if I've been missing out on subtle cues from women who might be considering dating a co-worker, and how to tell if I or a friend might be a candidate.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

(10-12-2011 08:22 PM)tyciol Wrote:  

Q for Mrs. Chocolate, I have worked with women in the past who seem similar in that they are professional, perhaps considered one of the guys out of respect and stuff. Until now I've mostly thought that's what they wanted, now I'm wondering if I've been missing out on subtle cues from women who might be considering dating a co-worker, and how to tell if I or a friend might be a candidate.

Please explain.

[Mercenary]

I hope Mrs. Chocolate comes back one day and tells us she eventually married a roosh forum member and has a minimum of at least 4 kids.

[aeroektar]

Waaaaaait a second. There was a woman who posted over a thousand times and got 11 rep point?!

[The Beast1]

(07-29-2017 07:21 PM)aeroektar Wrote:  

Waaaaaait a second. There was a woman who posted over a thousand times and got 11 rep point?!

The only lady ever allowed on the forum.

[Mercenary]

She joined in 2009 and posted consistently until 2014.
That's 5 whole YEARS on RVF without any feminist nonsense, no male bashing or shaming, no shit testing, no female drama or meltdowns...not even a single warning towards her from the mods. In fact her contributions were funny and often useful and taken seriously.

A rare example of how pleasant and agreeable a woman CAN be if she acts right.
Marriage material for sure.


However, she should remain the only female ever allowed on here.
Let any female lurkers on RVF learn silently from her legacy.

[spokepoker]

She's an Alpha Male apparently.