[jbkunt2]

Hi all,

It’s been a few years now since I did the SE Asia back packing thing.

Obviously a lot of people go solo and meet at hostels, etc. However, I am a bit older and have some budget so I don’t fancy the hostel scene so much.

How do you guys generally meet people when travelling/living remotely?

Expat bars? Hostel bars? RVF meetups?

[Defqon]

If in the big city , I am usually using CS hangouts to meet other travellers or locals. You can can go to bars / nightclubs solo and besides talking to girls you can meet other guys , as well. As for other travel destinations , like islands or tourism cities. Look for travel packages. I have met cool guys , when we have done water rafting in Chiang Mai. Later we were partying and drinking the same week in the city. Or when I booked a trip to Taroko Gorge when I was in Hualien , Taiwan. All bus was filled mostly with solo travellers so later on we were drinking beers. And couple days later I have met them in Taipei again. These are just couple examples , there were many more. That way I have mets lots of cool guys and girls around the world.

[rishboy77]

I use a website called showaround....It is low cost and some people are free too. Local people showing you around and giving you some good advice. I have used the site in alots of countries and it's worth the small cost.

Yes I have tried banging some of female guide's but only had a make out so far.

[Sewage2016]

Three reliable ways to meet people while traveling solo that work for me:

1. Join a tour - I have been doing the viator pub and food tours. Lots of young singles go solo or as pairs. I’ve never had a couples only situation.

2. Sign up for local meetups the first day. It can be hit or miss when traveling weekdays but I usually do 50/50 success rate to meet good wingmen or groups.

3. Hit the hotel concierge up and advise him your looking to hit the town and slip him a generous tip. It only works in non-business hotels for me. If he gets off work, see where the workers hang out. Hotel staff are like restaurant staff. They usually hit the bars afterwards and don’t mind if someone cool (get the first round) joins them.

[Sidney Crosby]

Tinder

[Bikal]

(07-17-2018 10:24 PM)rishboy77 Wrote:  

I use a website called showaround....It is low cost and some people are free too. Local people showing you around and giving you some good advice. I have used the site in alots of countries and it's worth the small cost.

Yes I have tried banging some of female guide's but only had a make out so far.

Is it actually good, I've heard of it but not got around to using it, forgetting about banging the female guides for a second, have you had good experiences seeing something you'd miss if you'd looked it up online vs. local knowledge?

[monsquid]

I'm with you OP, constantly pipelining and chasing pussy in nightgame can be isolating and lonely, especially in SEA where the nightlife is removed from how the average people live. A good trip should have a healthy balance of game and interacting with people in general, not just for notches.

As previously mentioned I've had good encounters with CS Hangouts and also hosting CS events. I've hosted a bunch of CS get together events despite not being a local. People will show up and then you can branch out from there. If you're not feeling it then you can leave whenever, one of the advantages of solo travel. Last year I banged a cute French girl in BKK after meeting her at a CS gathering. Took a couple of tries to seal the deal but she came out to every outing with a large group of people and eventually got it.

SEA is also cheap enough that you can use a hostel as a base of operations. I've done this in Vietnam where I pay for a room and hang out there in the mornings and afternoons to meet people. Then I go out at night and return to my hotel, usually within a block of the hostel. If you get a town or hostel girl you can take her to the hotel for guaranteed privacy.

[rotinz]

What's the best thing that could help with loneliness in your mind? Is it having a good relationship/LTR with a girl, being close to family, or having good friends?

[Hoo]

(07-18-2018 07:38 PM)rotinz Wrote:  

What's the best thing that could help with loneliness in your mind? Is it having a good relationship/LTR with a girl, being close to family, or having good friends?

I think this depends on age. LTR can solve some issues but you still REALLY REALLY need friends. That's the biggest downside to nomadic lifestyle imo.

[rotinz]

(07-18-2018 10:12 PM)Hoo Wrote:  

(07-18-2018 07:38 PM)rotinz Wrote:  

What's the best thing that could help with loneliness in your mind? Is it having a good relationship/LTR with a girl, being close to family, or having good friends?

I think this depends on age. LTR can solve some issues but you still REALLY REALLY need friends. That's the biggest downside to nomadic lifestyle imo.

I feel like friendship is so shallow these days and it's hard to really connect with people. I would much rather have a couple girls I'm seeing/LTRs.

Most men also are very thirsty these days I feel like at least 9/10 men are dieing of thirst and would betray their closest friend for a chance at pussy. That's why I feel like some guys complain that their friends drift away and never talk to them again once they get married. Guys act a lot but once they get married that is probably the first time they got any stable pussy, that is before she gets sick of her husband and stops putting out.

So in the end I feel like the whole social construct these days revolves around pussy, so instead of dealing with all this other social bs I guess I'd rather just deal straight with the pussy.

[Count Pierre]

^^^^^^
Absolutely.

The number one thing that I just absolutely can't stand when I am traveling is the simple view of another "love tourist" ...... even more when this lonely (and most often unsuccessful) poor soul tries to befriend ... just having to listen about his failures or his so-called "successes" (when those success stories are true, it's usually with sub-6s - a guy who scores 8s+ on a regular basis doesn't need to brag about it and most certainly doesn't search the company of other foreigners) is enough to send me into a tailspin of suicidal depression. Thanks but no thanks, don't want to befriend with you, I'm fine (and do much better) alone.

It's definitely more fun to have a small stable of witty GFs. And better for the ego also.

[Minnesotadrake]

Great thread! I typically get out of my comfort zone and introduce myself to people on my viator tour, or at a club/bar. Typically people are very open to meeting new friends and will party the night away with you. Once the initial introductions happen, it's much easier to have a few drinks together and start approaching girls... I even met a guy that went to the same college as me when introducing myself in a shuttle bus in iceland.

[Pointer]

If you're traveling solo your best bet is to stay in a hostel. Get a private room if you want to spend the cash for more comfort.

Go to free walking tours, many first and second tier cities have them. I've met a lot of travelers this way.

Try a pub crawl, in some cities I heard it can be good.

Check out the Facebook groups, a lot of cities have some group where people advertise local events and meetups. Find the language exchange ones, I've met a lot of girls for coffee this way.

Couchsurfing meetings are usually a waste of time, they are full of thirsty dudes and attention whoring 5 and 6s, but if you're feeling lonely you can give it a try. It's good for warming up before hitting the bars later on. If you can host people do that instead.

Meetup is better but if it's a small city (under 500k) there may not be any events.

Lastly, avoid the fancy bars where everyone is sitting down. Student bars are usually a good bet. The set up of the bar is more important than the location or reviews. If you have to sit down and wait to be served, don't go.

[Beyond Borders]

Get into a hobby you can do on the road, like scuba diving or martial arts. A lot of the friendships you'll make will be short-lived, but people who are into these things often deliberately end up meeting up again later down the road at other big dive sites or training locations.

[Enhanced Eddie]

(07-19-2018 03:13 AM)Count Pierre Wrote:  

a guy who scores 8s+ on a regular basis [...] most certainly doesn't search the company of other foreigners

What?

[asdfk]

Men is not made to interact with a constant stream of new people.

We are made to live in a small band of 50-150 people (tribe) that stays mostly together.

The price of constant travel is not belonging to a group.

After years on the road you will start to feel it. No way hanging out with strangers can replace that longing for a tribe in my experience.

Some good tips in this thread on how to meet strangers, I use many of the same strategies.

But I also realize this brings fleeting moments of companionship with people that I will never see again.

[dsutmdo]

Use your solo time to review / think about your victory’s / failures. Make a plan, look around. You have all your brain cells to yourself (very valuable) You probably won’t be alone very long.

[jbkunt2]

Some great replies. Thanks.

[Distant Light]

Always remember...

Strangers are FRIENDS you haven't met yet, all it takes is a moment...

COLD APPROACH is a great tool to grease the wheels to becoming a SOCIAL BEING

[JimBobsCooters]

Free walking tours are a great way to tick the sightseeing box and meet people, it's generally a big group of people in 2s and 3s or solo and the ice breakers are all built into it so it's as easy an approach as you'll ever make.

[scengja]

As someone who has spent the past couple of years travelling this is one of the biggest issues for me. For short term travel you can, as mentioned, join pub crawls, walking tours, live in hostels etc. I tend to do medium to long-term stays (1-6 months). Finding a social circle can be tough. Here are a few tips:

- If you have many Facebook friends you can just type "my friends who currently live in [city]" in the search bar and it will show a list. I guess I am not alone in amassing a lot of people in FB over the years that I barely know or lost track of.
- Another Facebook related tip. In most big cities there will be some groups aimed at expats. Try searching for stuff like "city + expats", or "foreigners in city" etc. In these groups, depending on activity, there can be some events posted from time to time.
- Joining a language class is also a great way to meet people. Normally if it is a bigger school they will have a bunch of events as well.
- Most big cities will have groups for people who wants to play football casually. Meaning a bunch of guys showing up a few times a week, divide into two teams, and just play. Try searching "soccer" or "football" in any of the earlier mentioned expat groups on Facebook.
- Check out if your home country has a Chamber of Commerce in the city you are visiting. Actually you can check out any Chamber of Commerce or similar organisation. In big expat cities AmCham etc. will have tons of events (a lot of "young professional" events as well). Just remember that these often will be filled with people trying to sell you shit though (legal advice, accounting services etc.)
- Check Couchsurfing, Internations and Meetup.com if there are any events of interest in the place you are visiting

I find that it is often pretty easy to find a bunch of people you can call and ask if they want to "grab a beer". But establishing a more long lasting friendship, finding solid people that you can call if things go south, this is harder to do.

[Winston Wolfe]

I have been traveling solo for the past 4 years.

Loneliness is part of the equation.

The longer I do this, the more I appreciate going back home and spending time with family and close friends (I go home once a year on average for 1 to 2 months).

Friends you make while traveling can become close friends, but they will never get to the level of the people you grew up with and share a deep connection with.

I have met friends through pretty much every venue or activity thats been mentioned in this thread: sports, gym, hobby, hikes, tours, activities, pub crawls, museums, online expat groups, you name it.

Some of them disappear after one epic drunken night and you never hear from them again. Others spend some time on the road with you, become your gym buddy, drinking buddy or otherwise stick around for a while.

Others stick around for longer, these are the people you tend to meet when you settle down somewhere for a while. I have been at my current location on and off for the last 2 years and I have a pretty solid group of friends here.

Did you notice the "on and off" in my previous sentence?

I disappear from time to time. I'll be traveling or visiting home. It's the nature of the lifestyle.

My friends here do the same. Everyone has places to be and people to see, for who knows what reason.

I'm in several group chats with both expats and locals. People disappear, for weeks or months on end. Sometimes they go off the radar, never to be seen again. Sometimes they suddenly appear again after you haven't seen them in a year.

Same thing applies to chicks / mini relationships / fuckbuddies too.

The reality of the travel / location independent lifestyle is that you become pretty damn good at saying goodbye.

Personally, I like to say "see you on the flipside" instead.

And then I pack my bag, board the flight to the next destination and deal with it.

Alone.

Loneliness is an inherent part of the lifestyle we all strive for here. You don't avoid it; you embrace it and let it become part of you. It's not easy, but it's the only way and the price you pay.

[rotinz]

(07-20-2018 11:51 AM)Winston Wolfe Wrote:  

I have been traveling solo for the past 4 years.

Loneliness is part of the equation.

The longer I do this, the more I appreciate going back home and spending time with family and close friends (I go home once a year on average for 1 to 2 months).

Friends you make while traveling can become close friends, but they will never get to the level of the people you grew up with and share a deep connection with.

I have met friends through pretty much every venue or activity thats been mentioned in this thread: sports, gym, hobby, hikes, tours, activities, pub crawls, museums, online expat groups, you name it.

Some of them disappear after one epic drunken night and you never hear from them again. Others spend some time on the road with you, become your gym buddy, drinking buddy or otherwise stick around for a while.

Others stick around for longer, these are the people you tend to meet when you settle down somewhere for a while. I have been at my current location on and off for the last 2 years and I have a pretty solid group of friends here.

Did you notice the "on and off" in my previous sentence?

I disappear from time to time. I'll be traveling or visiting home. It's the nature of the lifestyle.

My friends here do the same. Everyone has places to be and people to see, for who knows what reason.

I'm in several group chats with both expats and locals. People disappear, for weeks or months on end. Sometimes they go off the radar, never to be seen again. Sometimes they suddenly appear again after you haven't seen them in a year.

Same thing applies to chicks / mini relationships / fuckbuddies too.

The reality of the travel / location independent lifestyle is that you become pretty damn good at saying goodbye.

Personally, I like to say "see you on the flipside" instead.

And then I pack my bag, board the flight to the next destination and deal with it.

Alone.

Loneliness is an inherent part of the lifestyle we all strive for here. You don't avoid it; you embrace it and let it become part of you. It's not easy, but it's the only way and the price you pay.

What age do you think is someones last chance to make real close friends? A lot of people say there only really close friends are from childhood, do you think you can make close friends like that in your 20's or college years?

I feel like social circle and friendship is being destroyed in general a lot of people say they have no friends and this is even becoming trendy to say. A lot of rappers are saying it in their songs and people say the same.

These days I'll probably be closer to girls I fuck then anyone else friendship wise. I'd rather take a girls virginity and make a bond like that between us then have friends/social circle. I feel like having multiple semi girlfriends and having a decent bond with them is probably more fulfilling then having friends/social circle these days.

I definitely agree that having real friends/social circle is great and almost unbeatable but in reality how many people really have that these days?

[Bastard Sword]

I think you can make good friends when you're older, it's just significantly harder. There's a guy at my work I can keep real it with regarding politics, social shit, and life. I generally try to help him out where I can and I'm sure he'd do the same for me. Thing is we're both just busy people with LTRs and other side hobbies so I only hang out with him once a month. It's not going to be like your childhood necessarily but that doesn't mean that growing older completely precludes you from having friends.

I agree that the nomadic lifestyle is not one to keep up forever and ever -- it takes a specific type of person to pull that off. In life, I think it's important to spend a lot of time in one place. It's hard to maintain fitness and build good business relationships/career when you're constantly on the road. Travel is a great sensory experience but it should be done in moderation IMO. Maybe I'd do a huge 7-8 month trip in the next couple years, but I honestly enjoy living in my slow-paced town, seeing old friends, visiting family on occasion, and spending time with my girlfriend. I can also work on creative projects and do martial arts/crossfit at a steady pace.

[JimBobsCooters]

Never too late to make friends, I started at my previous job at 28 and one of my best friends I met through there, another of my best friends I was 25 before getting to know him as well. It's just harder as anyone you meet is generally going to have their own social circle and you'll likely have yours as well which just complicates things.