[Anarchist101]

Hey guys, I am back after a really long hiatus from the forum.

Quick update, then lead into my question.

All last year was crazy. After finally getting over my ex-wife. I was approaching like a mad man. I met some good buddies that happen to be at the same stage as me, and we worked the field like crazy .

I used every crutch imaginable, alcohol, peer pressure, personal investment (so much so I forestalled paying off my debts until the end of the year).

Used every excuse to go out to bars, clubs, shopping malls with both my new found wingmen, and other networks of friends. Averaged 10-20 approaches a day, 3-4 days a week depending on the venue.

I eventually got nicknamed "the blue-ball" king. Getting make out's and hand jobs, only for the women not to finish or go home with me.

After 8 long months of this, I Finally broke through that and got some lays every month. Including seducing an escort in Vegas (I say seduced because she never once asked to be paid until we got done screwing and she yelled "oh shit, we need to discuss payment")

***THE QUESTION***

So I got some success now, even caught myself getting trapped by oneitis which I thankfully broke off.

But I still have a problem escalating and showing dominance. Mentally I know, she is flirting, obeying me, or went on a date. But at the bars, clubs and on dates (especially on dates) I just get caught in my head "is talking sexually OK at this moment?"

I have banged from bars and clubs, but not bang from a single date. I have a few lined up this weekend, and which ever one doesn't flake, I am going to come off straight away trying to sexualize the encounter.

I look through some people's chat messages from online dating and it always feels surreal how quickly they sexualize the conversation (usually in 4-5 messages!)

Any kind of practice guidelines? Something I can apply and will surely work 1 out 5 times but will get my head used to being that way early on?

[Remington]

Congrats on getting over the ex-wife. You are starting off in the right direction.

Sounds like things started off a little rough but you've managed to improve and learn from experience. Nicely done.

The hardest step with all this is getting over approach anxiety, something that you have already accomplished through repetition.

Sexualizing conversation early on in dates is a good way for you to leave without your date on your shoulder.

Comfort is the foundation of sexualizing the conversation. She needs to feel comfortable with you first before delving into this topic.

This will require you to open up a little bit about yourself. In my experience, discussing things that are more personal in nature usually assist in this process.

If you have been in contact with these women for a while and you have sexualized conversation via text/phone calls, then you'll be able to start the conversation a little sooner. Although, comfort will still need to be established.

This, like everything you have gone through these past months, will need to be learned through trial and error.

With your dates this weekend, experiment with it. Try to figure out what will make her come out of her shell and let her express herself in a sexual nature.

A lot of this has to do with your personality as well as your first contact with these girls. Again, try different things and report back on your successes as well as your failures.

Best of luck, and most importantly, have fun with it.

[Anarchist101]

Yep, just learned the hard way.

Had a date through coffee meets bagel, and my whole intent was to be more, how should I say, upfront? Risky?

Long story short, excellent date, but I think I pushed the flirting to far after she made out with me, and decided not interested a few days later.

Lesson learned.